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Dayside
DaysideLv123yr
2021-03-22 09:54

I must say that it's extremely well written and has barely any grammar issues which is rather rare on this platform. The only issue I have with this story is that it is incredibly dull and lacks passion. It just feels like reading text instead of being in a story. The main two characters, Max and Hermione both feel very unemotional and unenthusiastic towards mostly everything. The pacing is extremely fast which is good since we've all read the same events that take place in Hogwarts a dozen times at the very least. I suppose the take of the author on the Harry Potter world is just too realistic which makes it lack passion and excitement.

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Replies7
shirin109
shirin109Lv10

Barely any grammar issues? not sure if that's sarcasm or if we're reading two different stories...

Lossutra
LossutraLv4

Yeah, the sentences just feel weird.

shirin109:Barely any grammar issues? not sure if that's sarcasm or if we're reading two different stories...
Supreme_Leader
Supreme_LeaderLv12

I think it the tenses. Narrations should have only one tense. And usually past tense works the best. While this author uses both past and present tense in the same paragraph and sometimes in the sane sentence. Honestly this is something that annoys me very much. I have had easier time reading raw novels through google translate, because the tenses stay the same.

Lossutra:Yeah, the sentences just feel weird.
p0sitv3s
p0sitv3sLv4

Yeah this fan-fic sucks balls.

Cultreevation
CultreevationLv10

Did you read the same story?!?

Master_Celestial
Master_CelestialLv4

Is Hermione the love interest?

Dayside
DaysideLv12

Bro don't ask something in a 9 month old review. I haven't the foggiest.

Master_Celestial:Is Hermione the love interest?
Other Reviews
LordInsanity
LordInsanityLv5

Nice novel. If only the MC wouldn't go to such unreasonable and dumb lengths to satisfy his own goals(?) this novel would be great. Now you might be thinking from my first statement, that the MC is a person who would kill a person to achieve his goal. That's not what I meant. He would do something stupid or annoying to satisfy himself. Case 1 is presented in Ollivanders, he came back there after getting his wand to see his mother. Which in turn alerted Malfoy Senior of his existence. For some reason it seemed like love at first sight to him after being pushed out of her womb and being immediately disowned by his father, and his mother who was confunded? into accepting it. You think his father would just sit around and watch his spawn toddle around without bothering him? Just reading that chapter was annoying on a whole new level. You'd think a mature and rational person was reincarnated, but nope! Just a typical savant. Case 2: He joins Hogwarts, and there's no mention of the Room of Requirement (RoR). He makes a point that there's no place where he can escape Dumble's sights, but why would the headmaster even bother with him when Potter and Weasley are around? Author doesn't address it. RoR = Possible mental defenses, wealth, and more. Case 3: His philosophical debates on morals/ethics/world views with an 11 year old girl, and later another senior student. Blah Blah Blah Muggleborn students aren't treated right, the world is violent, magic. Ok, you didn't need to start a lecture to an 11 year old, no matter how smart she is. It was a senseless waste of time, instead of a lecture, just let her know in terms an 11 year old would understand. Case 4: From what I am getting here, a reincarnated grown man becomes a Malfoy, is disowned because he's thought to be a squib, and now he is seemingly hype focused on his birth mother, even implying to the readers that she is closer to him than the adoptive parents that have raised him for years? Where's the logic in this? Case 5: Should have put this earlier, but he confides hermione into his "little secret" of being a pureblood but classified as a muggleborn. He's really smart, like he was never an 11 year old in his past life or ever met another 11 year old who can keep a secret? Author has a thing for Hermione. Case 6: What was the point putting him in Ghouse? Why not Ravenclaw, since he likes to study? Overall your MC acts like a smartass with dumb reasons. I know he has some knowledge on the canon, since he mentions things that he shouldn't know several times? I am and C23 and am already frustrated.

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