As I was reading I was pleasantly surprised by the easy flow of the story. It's easy to read and I didn't have to go over the same sentence/paragraph twice to understand what the author was trying to say. There is good pacing, and the paragraphs were nicely aligned. It tells me that the author has already grasped the basics of writing and has the potential for improvement in the future. The author should give themselves a pat in the back. Now for the cons: For most new writers when writing in the first person POV they do tend to overuse inner monologues as opposed to utilizing gestures and facial expressions as hints to the character's inner turmoils. Verbs such as frowning, smirking can also indicate mood. I would also like to see more active sentences rather than passive ones; it makes me more emotionally engaged. Overall it is a very good story and a worthwhile read. Other than the writing which has room for growth, the character development, world-building, and plot progression is intriguing and makes you hooked onto the story. Good job!
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A good review, critique and objective kind of writing according to the book in question. I managed to learn significantly.
