webnovel
Spectre_cloverLv23yr
2021-05-31 14:18

I enjoyed reading this novel as it was different from the cliche cultivation troupes.There are some minor thing that I didn't like, but it gets cover up with Athans op moves. Anyway author keep writing this unique novel and add the op tag to your novel. Peace.

Liked by 9 people

LIKE
Replies1
Spectre_cloverLv2

Also I wrote that review so I could see that 100 rating on this novel

Other Reviews
ArcaneMindLv3

I'll preface this review by saying, "The story has potential." And my opinions are subjective. It's the author's first work and, it shows. I read all the free chapters available. Definitely recommend reading them all before deciding if it's for you. Personally, I urge you to give it a try. It may be to your taste. I wouldn't know. Writing Quality: The writing quality went up during the last chapters. But there are still glaring problems. The prose doesn't flow smoothly. There are syntax errors, and sometimes the words are used inaccurately. (Not their first language, acceptable. Like me ;-) ) The author sometimes misspells character names, even the MC. There are minimal descriptions, lending no credence to the setting. The ones that are there, vague and opaque. They don't give you a sense of space. The story and its pace feel choppy at times. Things are happening. Constantly. The story is in motion, which is good. But it gets stale very soon. It's monotonous. Athan did this. Athan gained this. Athan comprehended this. Athan went here and did this. It felt like the author was in a hurry to get the story moving and get to what he actually wants to write. Most of this can be fixed in editing. Stability of Updates: I read after the chapters were locked, so I don't know what the update is like. So, I'll give it 5 stars, assuming it's stable. Story Development: The author seems to be aiming at something. I assume he has things planned out for future developments. Wonderful. But. There wasn't much conflict or an obstacle for the MC. The first real complication that remotely mattered was maybe Tiana being trapped (and conveniently beneficial to her in the long run). It was a complication introduced solely to establish a plot point, gee-whiz, for later developments. The first volume was a speed run for the MC. Like running through the tutorial of a game, not the actual game. The story has potential, and developments are looming over the horizon, but getting there might be a chore. I couldn't clearly pinpoint a story promise(except the usual, OP, harem, basically, tags). It does have a story goal for the MC. But I don't think it can carry the weight of the novel. This likely will naturally come out later in a more developed fashion. Character Design: None of the characters are fleshed out. They don't have a unique voice. I believe they will find it during the story's run. It's in its infancy, after all. Up till chapter 102, Avelia seems deeper than the MC. We don't get to spend enough time together with the characters to get to know them. The story is a linear progression from one point to another. Most of the time we spend with Athan(the MC) is him gaining power or in the process of doing so. The dialogues are straightforward, with most of them sounding the same. World Background: It's clear that the author has thought about the magic system and the world. He has developed a wonderful world, but none of it shows as there is no vivid description of the places they visit. It would be better if he showed off some of it in worldbuilding descriptions rather than frequently info-dumping on the magic system. He has thought a lot about his magic system, which may be a negative here. There is too much in-between it takes so long to build anything up. Leaving us with the monotonous Athan did this and that scenes/chapters. This is exacerbated by the lack of meaningful conflict. Leaving much to be desired by way of dynamicity to the story. I'll state what I couldn't articulate or think I didn't convey clearly here. Writing - It will get better as the author does it more, so it is a minor problem for a new writer. Still, an editor would be a good choice if the author can't spare time for it. Characters - We should get more time together with the characters. Learn about their inner self, their wants, fears, and ambitions. Especially for the MC, he needs to be thinking more, informing the readers about himself more(no melodrama monologues). The character of Tiana, for now, is no more than a showpiece. It doesn't affect the story in any way if she was completely removed from it. She didn't add any value by being with the MC. She didn't change him, nor did she create complications or conflicts for him. Her initial problem got resolved off-hand, which was a wasted opportunity to develop her character. Her coupling with the MC was also a bit forced. She felt like a starter pokemon equivalent of a harem in the MC's quest to catch 'em all. Then there is the situation of her being trapped. It was not the least bit impactful. The whole situation being a boon for her also didn't help. It introduced the MC's gee-whiz item, but so what? We would've found out about it when he climbs 2 realms anyway. It served no purpose. Other than giving the useless character just what she needs to be relevant for the rest of the story(No hate for Tiana). And an impetus for Athan to hurry up through the realms, which he would blaze through either way. Also, some descriptions and concrete details would be an immense boost for the story. There was no imagery in my mind's theater the whole time I read the story. I could not for the life of me imagine a scene where the story was taking place except for a vague idea of what it might be like. Lastly, I think the story is stretching thin, not by the author's intention but due to the nature of the story elements themselves. The detailed magic system and the impressive line-up of intents and elements give a sense of vastness to the world. But it may pose the risk of creating a plot hole or inconsistency in the later stages of the story. The author can play in a wide area but, it will limit the depths he can explore. Creating hidden problems that will come back to bite at the most unexpected of turns. My suggestion would be to limit the scope and focus on digging deep with the pieces at hand, making the story richer in substance than cool in variety. Compressing the plot by mixing them and running them in parallel or sub-plots might help. I don't know if I made sense. If I came off as pessimistic(I definitely did, didn't I?), that wasn't the intention. All the power to the author. Keep up the good hard work. You have a lot of potential with this story.

Alpha_astroLv6
Staria_Lv11

Where do I start? Good story good Idea but poor execution. I feel like there was soooo much more you could have done in the first volume and introduction of the first female lead was waaay to early (but it doesn't matter you have your creators freedom). I feel it slowed down the story a lot and made the ML Less goal oriented than he should be. Now it feels the MC doesn't have a mind of his own and goes with the flow because his character build is poor. It's like 100 chapters in and not knowing what the MC is for and against except his girlfriend sorry wife. My advice is don't rush and add depth to each detail introduced to the story. The lack of depth is causing a shallow pull on the reader it's not just about 'wait more and interestingthings will happen'. The language has improved from how it was in the beginning so keep it up. My other problems with the existence of the female lead is that how they met was poorly developed and I cringed at some parts and because you are new to writing, in depth characterisation is already bad for the main character now you have two and your not handling it properly. I honestly feel you should drop her and say she was picked up by an elder for training or something like that and separate them for years so you can properly develop the MC and her rise in power can be accepted by the readers without you having to slow the mc's progress just so she can keep up. Uour creation of that female lead was self sabotage because as of present the story would be 100x better without her because the mc would well develop within having to worry about some other person.. But it's an okay read. You are really trying and I wish you best of luck.

Daniel_KalilLv14

The novel is certainly very good, but i shall address a few points that made me sad about this novel. IT WILL CONTAIN HEAVY SPOILERS, BUT IMO NECESSARY SO THAT THOSE WHO WANT TO READ DO NOT GET DISAPPOINTED BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE 1st: The protagonist loses his powers a few times throughout the story. 2nd: around chapter 250 of the story, literally everyone forgot about the protagonist due to a few reasons that are spoilers, but because everyone forgot about him, it took him a long time to reunite with them, which was a waste of time because the MC's family got captured soon after by a mighty being to hasten the protagonist's rise to the peak (even forged fake memories of the mighty being killing all his family and friends). 3rd: This novel is a typical ascend through the realms to see a higher peak, which was not even achiavable in the first place since the peak was false. 4th: The WHOLE story and realms, the family of the protagonist, literally EVERYONE was an experiment of a true Mighty Being in the probable true world, which we dont get to see because the novel ended when we discovered that basically everything was false, even the MC's powers, which he lost again... (the only solace is that even if everyone was created by the imagination of a mighty being, the being could transform 7 of the protagonist lovers and friends into 'real' existences, 6 spots went to the Mc's lovers, which there was 1 spot left, which we dont know to who it went, but in my headcannon it went to Mimi). 5th: The ending as i stated is really disappointing, there was honestly no need for such an ending, it would have been more wholesome and better if their world was not a byproduct of someones energy and imagination. It would have been not problem for the Mc to ascend to a new world to start a new journey from scratch with his family and friends, but it was such a let down to say that the entire story was inside a world where everything was simply the imagination of someone. that was all, i hope that someone read this before reading this novel that although is nice, knowing that everything was false made me sad, which i did not like one bit.

Related Stories

The Invincible Full-Moon System

The sinful acts of humanity bring forth a great calamity upon themselves, or so they thought. Supernatural Emergence happened. Supernatural creatures start to come out of nowhere and forcefully claim half of the Earth and massacre any humans that cross their paths. All of them are too powerful, dozens of countries fall under their diabolic claws. Humanity was pushed against the corner. But things started to turn around when humanity began to awaken magical powers. Awakened is the name for those who awaken these powers blessed by the Gods, and they become the pillars of humanity. Rex Silverstar is a normal boy who has a traumatic experience. On the day of the Supernatural Emergence, a Werewolf takes everything he has. He lost his family and his home, left alone in this cruel world. What drives him to live every day is his deep hatred towards the Supernaturals. Joining the military in the hope of helping exterminate the Supernaturals from an early age, he found out that it's impossible to kill the Werewolf that was responsible for killing his parents without being an Awakened. On a fateful night, in a near-death experience, he's given a chance by the full moon. It was the turning point of his life. Obtaining a System that allows him to become stronger, having the potential to match and surpass the Supernaturals, Rex was ecstatic until he saw his stats window. "I'M NOT A WEREWOLF!!" "Daily quest failed, sanity stat has been decreased by 20%!" "Sanity stat is too low, you are unable to contain the blood moon blessing!" "Starting forceful transformation!" "WHAT?! I'm a human! What transformation?!" "You are overwhelmed with bloodlust!" ----- Join my discord: https://discord.gg/cg6a5sBkpJ Support me here: https://ko-fi.com/mrboogey13 ----- I do not own the cover of the book, if you made it and want to take it down just say so and I will immediately change it.

Mrboogey13 · Fantasy
3.9
1453 Chs

Hero of Darkness

Elric's life had been nothing short of a nightmare since his childhood. He was constantly bullied at school, detested and ignored by his family, and left with nobody to care whether he lived or died. The accumulated loneliness and suffering from decades pushed him into a severe depression, and he ultimately decided to take his life’s final decision… Suicide. One day, Elric's soul heard a voice calling out to him. "Wake up, Elric. I am the God of Darkness, and I'm here to give you another chance at life." To the God of Darkness, Elric replied with only two words… "Fuck off!" Now forced with the possibility of a new life despite his unwillingness… Elric must decide whether to become a puppet or forge a new destiny with his own hands. Will he overcome his traumatic past, or will he squander yet another chance at life? Join the Protagonist on his journey as he is given an impossible task while striving to become one of the strongest beings in a world full of Magic, Mythical creatures, Dragons, and Gods. ---------------- [[Author : The protagonist of this story is a scheming mastermind who doesn't trust anyone and plans everything based on his present strength, knowledge and circumstances. No Romance, Harem, or Fan-service here. The main character is also not an Edgelord or a Psychopath who kills people without reason. Character development is a gradual process as the Main Character learns to acknowledge and overcome his flaws. This is a story for those who appreciate a psychologically well-developed character. The protagonist is an Antihero character who exists in the gray area between good and evil. This is a story for those who enjoy complex characters, greatly improving and expanding World-building along with intricate plots. If you are looking for a story with a nuanced and morally ambiguous yet humorous protagonist in a mature and gritty world, then this is the novel for you.]] ---------------- Note : Character Reference Arts available in chapter comments. Discord Link : https://discord.gg/xR7vUzCYx9 ---------------- Note : Vote for the Novel for extra weekly chapters. 500 Power Stones = 1 Extra Chapter per week 1000 Power Stones = 2 Extra Chapters per week 2500 Power Stones = 5 Extra chapters per week 500 Golden Tickets = 2 Extra chapters per week 1000 Golden Tickets = 3 Extra chapters per week 1500 Golden Tickets = 7 Extra chapters per week

CrimsonWolfAuthor · Fantasy
4.7
1135 Chs

SSS rank Mother-In-Law to an Invincible Family

[sexual content and lemons warning] Warning: Sexual content, lemons, Comedy, MILFs, Genius Mc and his harem. Possessive MC, Large Harem, Capable Harem members, No Conscience towards men, Mc is a Chill guy until anything happens to his women. ~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~ I GOT CLICHED!!!. When Xu Qianghua opened his eyes, he found out that he was reborn back in time before the game Immortal Odyssey: Paths of Destiny merged with his world. With only a few items left with him, Xu Qianghua is stunned and unhappy because he had a good life and was not like those who either betrayed or died to some really powerful monster. Until he saw the introduction of them: Family Token (Chaos): A small world with Immortal veins and high-level spirit crystal mines…. Key of the Ancients(Chaos): A mini-world with infinite monsters and riches to collect…. While Xu Qianghua also deals with his wives Xu Qianghua: Mother-in-law this is wrong Sister Meiying: This is not wrong, I need to check if my daughter can be satisfied. The jumps on Xu Qianghua After a few hours Liu Anwei: Brother Qiang, what were you talking with my mom about? Xu Qianghua: Nothing, your mother wanted you to have a new sibling, so she asked for my help Liu Anwei: What? Read as Xu Qianghua and his now new try again with a different path from his past life which might lead them to ruin or become the strongest family out there. ….. No NTR ..... PS: This is my first novel so I will have a lot of mistakes, so if you find any please feel free to comment and I will fix it as soon as possible. ....... Discord Link: https://discord.gg/9yEfZx3hEa

Anime_timez24 · Fantasy
4.4
390 Chs

I Can Copy And Evolve Talents

Across the vast convolution of worlds, divine beings rule as absolute sovereigns—each god assigned dominion over a singular realm. Skirmishes are inevitable, whether for power, amusement, or sheer pettiness. One such battle, between Nexus, the God of Trickery, and an aging, senile deity, resulted in an anomaly… A soul misplaced. Elliot, an ordinary man, was never meant for Ul’Tra-el. But fate, or perhaps a cosmic prank, had other plans. Unlike other worlds, Ul’Tra-el is an aberration—one that developed a voice. A voice that diverged from the natural order. A voice that changed everything. Its foundation cracked, leaking dimensions into one another. Rifts tore open like festering wounds, vomiting forth unspeakable horrors—monsters not meant to exist. But the world did not sit idly by. In response—perhaps an act of self-preservation—the world gifted its inhabitants power. Talents awakened, granting people extraordinary abilities. And for every rift sealed, the Voice of Ul rewarded them generously. Survival was simple: fight, grow stronger, and close the rifts… or die trying. In this ruthless, blood-soaked reality, Northern—a white-haired boy burdened by his past life—was reincarnated. But unlike the chosen heroes, he awakened as a talentless nobody. No power. No strength. No future. And when death loomed over him—when despair clawed at his soul and the cold grip of the failure threatened to take him— A Voice responded: [System Notice] [Your Soul cannot take a form.] [Searching for a Unique Pattern Ability…] [Searching…] [Search Found.] [A Unique System Ability has been detected.] [You Can Copy And Evolve Talents] ... Follow Northern through his journey as he becomes the pinnacle of this world. This a story about a white-haired boy’s rise from rubbles!! Note: This is an overpower genre but MC does not just start off like that. Even though MC can copy talents he doesn't just jump around copying talents because there's a limitation. However, his rise to strength is depicted and is an experience to enjoy. The first few hundreds would be frustrating to follow because MC is weak but that makes the experience all the more interesting when MC finally gets freaking strong and starts wiping the floor with everyones asses.

RighteousFilth · Fantasy
3.7
788 Chs

Talent Awakening: Draconic Overlord Of The Apocalypse

"Level up? Dragons?" Eighteen. The age of Awakening. An important moment where every human in the desolate maga-cities unlocks their Talent, a unique ability to carve a path in this monster-plagued apocalyptic world. Alister Hazenworth, a graduating student, and a rising star at the prestigious Aegis Academy, was destined for greatness. His exceptional athleticism and magical aptitude promise a powerful Talent – a guarantee for a secure life and social status. But fate had different plans. During Alister's Awakening ceremony, it's revealed that he's a Summoner. Instead of admiration, he faces mockery. His once bright future turns bleak as his "friends" desert him for Talents they see as more "useful." left alone, Alister awakens a system. [Host found, system binding...] [System binded successfully.] [Congrats, you have gain the status of 'player'.] [Ding!! Congrats to the player for awakening The Dragonforge - an overlord system.] [Ding!! it has been detected that the player possesses a latent draconic aspect, and as such will only be able to summon dragons!!] [Will the player like to proceed with their first summoning?] Cast aside and underestimated, Alister becomes a force to be reckoned with. He embarks on a journey, building his own dragon army – a crew of majestic wyverns, fearsome drakes, and ancient wyrms. He raids the wastelands, reclaims lost resources, and dismantles the prejudice against summoners. Every day, his power grows, his bond with his dragons deepens, and his legend spreads like wildfire. Discord server: https://discord.gg/zbQwWCSCrn [A/N: This is a slow paced novel, don't expect the protagonist to suddenly start out overpowered and start dominating left and right, he will become an overlord of dragons, yes, but it will take time. (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)] Cover made by me /⁠ᐠ⁠。⁠ꞈ⁠。⁠ᐟ⁠\

Zurbluris · Fantasy
4.4
407 Chs