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LordSputnik
LordSputnikLv134yr
2021-03-10 17:09

The Good: Writing quality is great, the characters are all very well executed. The world the author is trying to create is fairly immersive and the way the author builds it really draws one in. I also enjoy longer chapters. The Bad: Paragraph structure is a bit thick making it difficult to read. Using a bunch of words from other languages and keeping their meanings is overkill. Nobody needs a footnote that's almost as long as a chapter to explain the meaning of words. The story is very interesting, but it's hard to find unless you force yourself to slow down and read into it some. The Neutral: Has plenty of potential! I personally feel like the powers are very unbalanced and not in the traditional "Overpowered MC" kind of way. That's just my thoughts though, don't take it to heart. Regardless, great work and hope you keep it up.

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Katzenliebe
KatzenliebeAuthor

Thanks, I'll cut the paragraphs (I noticed it too when I went back and read it on my phone O.ooooooo srry, it must've been pretty hard like that). I'll make an auxiliary volume for the (what should they be called?) things in different languages and just move them over. Thanks for telling me. I'll try to make the skills based off of english thingys, so like... ummmmm in French Organizer is to organize... I guess. AND I'll cut the footnote (o.o), I was sorta worried about it and then decided to just leave it for someone to tell me if it's weird. Yeah, eventually, I'll write something on the exact skills and what they do and it'll (sort of?) even out a bit... just a bit... [I'm tweaking some of them before they become really important because one of them literally was remove one stat. Like an entire stat (including health, which is like instant death)] Otto's is kind of essential for another reason... (I should probably tweak it too), but ehhhhh OvO. Thanks a lot for the review, you've addressed a lot of the issues that I've been pretty worried about and I'll get to fixing them right away.

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MasterHexer
MasterHexerLv3

BlaccLotus
BlaccLotusLv12

The writing is s.u.p.e.r.b and it's really good written story. Little to no grammar mistake and I find the writing here to be at professional standard. Technical writing wise, everything is well described, from characters, emotions, places and especially the way the way the writer described skills and actions is top notch. You could see the effort the writer put on this aspect, as a reader I tend to like great detail in story and he's done great job in describing things especially game-kind of things such as ability, skills and attributes. Everything is detailed making easy for readers to feel the atmosphere. For me personally, as I'm not into another world/Isekai kind of story, I think the story development has been good so far, I think the writer has grasped the correct pace for a fantasy story. Characters are well written and the way the they're introduced and portrayed is pretty great. Otto is a cool and quite level-headed main character. So far aside from Otto, Atter and Elizabeth are the best. Elizabeth is such a strong and really interesting character, she compliments Otto very well, It would be really nice if Otto ends up with her only. The premise itself is quite good I as it has neat synopsis and intriguing first chapter. Though I've to say that cover is a big no, believe me good cover will bring you more readers. If anything, I found some paragraphs are too long/thick and pretty hard to read. And about the restriction of this book. Here could reach webnovel editor through the link below to get it whitelisted. Discord: https://discord.gg/ZBhZYNp Or Editor Discord: Hao#1987 Overall it's good reading experience and well, good luck.

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