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John_sins1
John_sins1Lv124yr
2020-09-23 06:14

This had so much potential, a MC with overpowered sword abilities and some solid wishes. But what we get are really unfunny jokes, and an MC that seems to not mind sharing his woman. He allows Rudeus who is also a grown man to bathe with Roxy, sleep with her and shows her off naked. Also there is a weird chapter where the MC’s parents are fucking and Roxy gets off to them and then the 5 year old MC eats her out while his parents continue fucking. This whole fanfic is just weird as **** and not really entertaining which is a huge shame.

Liked by 49 people

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Replies13
Roxy_Greyrat21
Roxy_Greyrat21Author

That's why I said in the synopsis that it was full of corny jokes so I'm already warning them... As for Roxy watching his parents and m*st*rb*t*ng it's canon... MC eating Roxy is a practice for writing scenes like that so if you did not like that then I think I still have so much to improve on my writing. As for MC sharing her their relationship is not yet lovers, its still the master and her disciples so Arthur and Rudeus in Roxy's eyes are equal and MC knows that. Doing a bath together is not that weird in Japanese culture as that is what they called 'skinship bonding'(I think) so I don't think he was 'sharing' Roxy for that scene its just MC's soul is japanese. Well thank you for reading all the way form here I appreciate that. XD

John_sins1
John_sins1Lv12

I appreciate your response, hopefully you write something more serious in the future because youve got some really good ideas, i just think we have different senses of humour and a few other differences that i personally dont like in the story. However, it might be right up some peoples lane as shown by other reviews so its your choice man, i would recommend you keep writing because youve got talent !

Roxy_Greyrat21:That's why I said in the synopsis that it was full of corny jokes so I'm already warning them... As for Roxy watching his parents and m*st*rb*t*ng it's canon... MC eating Roxy is a practice for writing scenes like that so if you did not like that then I think I still have so much to improve on my writing. As for MC sharing her their relationship is not yet lovers, its still the master and her disciples so Arthur and Rudeus in Roxy's eyes are equal and MC knows that. Doing a bath together is not that weird in Japanese culture as that is what they called 'skinship bonding'(I think) so I don't think he was 'sharing' Roxy for that scene its just MC's soul is japanese. Well thank you for reading all the way form here I appreciate that. XD
Roxy_Greyrat21
Roxy_Greyrat21Author

Thank you very much... You know I finally knew how writers felt... After you finished writing your first book then months or years later you'll get embarrassed ang cringed very hard thinking 'Did I really write this? Its like a monkey wrote this!!' kind of feeling. I didn't really think that much since I first wrote this and just have some fun. I want to rewrite the chapters but I don't have much time for that so I'm just going to continue with the earlier chapters as an inspiration to improve.

John_sins1:I appreciate your response, hopefully you write something more serious in the future because youve got some really good ideas, i just think we have different senses of humour and a few other differences that i personally dont like in the story. However, it might be right up some peoples lane as shown by other reviews so its your choice man, i would recommend you keep writing because youve got talent !
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Oh good thing I read reviews before reading trash with a love interest bathing with someone that is not the MC

Roxy_Greyrat21:That's why I said in the synopsis that it was full of corny jokes so I'm already warning them... As for Roxy watching his parents and m*st*rb*t*ng it's canon... MC eating Roxy is a practice for writing scenes like that so if you did not like that then I think I still have so much to improve on my writing. As for MC sharing her their relationship is not yet lovers, its still the master and her disciples so Arthur and Rudeus in Roxy's eyes are equal and MC knows that. Doing a bath together is not that weird in Japanese culture as that is what they called 'skinship bonding'(I think) so I don't think he was 'sharing' Roxy for that scene its just MC's soul is japanese. Well thank you for reading all the way form here I appreciate that. XD
Roxy_Greyrat21
Roxy_Greyrat21Author

3 of them bath together... 2 disciples 1 master...

Mortifer:Oh good thing I read reviews before reading trash with a love interest bathing with someone that is not the MC
Venom_God
Venom_GodLv12

So fucking disgusting 🤮

Roxy_Greyrat21:3 of them bath together... 2 disciples 1 master...
Konrad_The_Fourth
Konrad_The_FourthLv4

Wait is Roxy will be one of mc love interest or not?

David_Drake
David_DrakeLv4

The ****? This is some intense stuff

Obsideon
ObsideonLv4

Yeah, i left this story in bath chap it aint my type of shit.

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StepBroIamStuck
StepBroIamStuckLv3

Thank for that i reallyy dislike ff with family guy like in my past life i am orpan now i have family blah blah i dont want to change plot i help formar mc to stronger blah blah man the movement you mess with formar mc like befriend become brother is already change the plot but they not act like not happen the most BS thing is people from other world can use from another world buy by mc from system staff even they not know or never heard but can use when they are not special being like Mc

OhhhhNooo
OhhhhNoooLv10

There was literally no reason for any of those scenes to happen. Idiot

Roxy_Greyrat21:3 of them bath together... 2 disciples 1 master...
Trollface
TrollfaceLv1

author, you can come up with thousands of excuses and find reasons. however, just look at how many likes the dissatisfied ones have, and how many likes your excuses have.

Pekokopiko
PekokopikoLv13

You watch too many anime if you think that is Japanese culture

Roxy_Greyrat21:That's why I said in the synopsis that it was full of corny jokes so I'm already warning them... As for Roxy watching his parents and m*st*rb*t*ng it's canon... MC eating Roxy is a practice for writing scenes like that so if you did not like that then I think I still have so much to improve on my writing. As for MC sharing her their relationship is not yet lovers, its still the master and her disciples so Arthur and Rudeus in Roxy's eyes are equal and MC knows that. Doing a bath together is not that weird in Japanese culture as that is what they called 'skinship bonding'(I think) so I don't think he was 'sharing' Roxy for that scene its just MC's soul is japanese. Well thank you for reading all the way form here I appreciate that. XD
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