webnovel
CacackleLasson
CacackleLassonLv14yr
2020-10-29 15:25

There is some good characterization on the characters, I think the plot will go to somewhere interesting. But in the first part there is a hefty amount of info dumping. It might be challenging for the light readers to read though. I think grammar needs some work but else good story.

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Replies3
Dark_Scholars
Dark_ScholarsAuthor

Thank you very much. The info dump was necessary I believe, to help introduce a bit of the world to the readers.

Anotoki
AnotokiLv12

if it is necessary, perhaps you could minimize the phrase? I find that the info dump of yours ruin the story by -1 point, but your story is really interesting, which covers that -1 point. P.S I'm sorry if my words are too blunt

Dark_Scholars:Thank you very much. The info dump was necessary I believe, to help introduce a bit of the world to the readers.
Dark_Scholars
Dark_ScholarsAuthor

No, it wasn't blunt at all. Frank but then again most authors appreciate frankness. I have shortened the paragraphs and edited the book. Thanks for the advice and the praise.

Anotoki:if it is necessary, perhaps you could minimize the phrase? I find that the info dump of yours ruin the story by -1 point, but your story is really interesting, which covers that -1 point. P.S I'm sorry if my words are too blunt
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