Started reading and found that it has some good potential but I didn't really enjoy it much after he met the main side character who may or may not be a love interest? It just dulled the story to me.
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LIKEThank you for the review! Im guessing since you reviewed it already, you dropped the story? Well anyways... I'm not sure which chaoter you stopped but I'm aware the story currently is currently in dull spot right now. For the later chapters that I'm writing, Im trying my best to pick up the pace and start developing the story more. Could you tell me what made it dull? I'm sorry if the story wasn't to your taste but I hope that you'd give it a chance again when there's more chapters 😓
Yeah sure, the latest chapter I read was chapter 25, then I skimmed a couple of the later chapters. I found the story to be dull when Frey feels like the main focus of the story. Shinto focuses on her growth and he explains everything to her. When she's around the story is about the actions she's making, or Shinto is talking to or explaining something to her. I dislike that even when Shinto is alone he is sometimes still thinking of Frey, how he can help her grow and understand the game. I understand that since his class is support it makes sense that he would try to raise those around him as much as possible since that's when his class can really shine but I'm reading to see Shinto, not Frey. It feels like she's gonna become a love interest, which, with what I've already said, makes me dislike seeing her even more and makes me apprehensive of where the story will go. I've read some light novels I sincerely enjoyed up to the point where it was ruined for me by a love interest with some bimbo I don't care for or even like and yet she comes up absolutely everywhere. If I was told that Frey will not be a love interest I'd probably be more willing to keep going for a bit longer. I stopped reading because I saw that she's still a main character with probably much of the story's focus after skimming the later chapters a bit. With all that said, I do enjoy this story when it's Shinto alone and not focusing on helping Frey grow or whatnot. I feel like you've put a lot of thought into the game and any flaws in the design of the world seem to be small or don't mess up the story and can be overlooked. I will probably eventually look at this story again, but if Frey is still a main character that is one of Shinto's main focus I'd probably still have the same opinion. Thanks for getting content out to your readers! And thanks for caring what your readers think. While I might have these opinions it does seem like most of your readers enjoy the parts that I criticized, I hope your story does well!
Tamaki_Leon:Thank you for the review! Im guessing since you reviewed it already, you dropped the story? Well anyways... I'm not sure which chaoter you stopped but I'm aware the story currently is currently in dull spot right now. For the later chapters that I'm writing, Im trying my best to pick up the pace and start developing the story more. Could you tell me what made it dull? I'm sorry if the story wasn't to your taste but I hope that you'd give it a chance again when there's more chapters 😓
Thank you for the reply! I do realize how I've put a lot of the recent chapters focus on Frey. As an author, I wanted to make it so that every character that is introduced (whether small or not) gets somewhat of a spotlight, especially for the main side characters. I honestly really liked these little parts of the story in the stories I've read and wanted to integrate it into my own, but I see now that I went a little overboard on it, especially when only one main side character was introduced. I haven't had a chance to expand much on Shinto's main story as I felt that if I introduce it now, it'll feel rushed and I wanted to just take it slow and steady. As a support, I couldn't make Shinto do many things solo, especially against boss fights or dungeons, unlike other gaming novels where the MCs are basically top tier fighters that can easily solo bosses and win. (If Shinto manages to just solo everything, it'll become a problem in balancing, which I'm most worried about, especially when we're in the earlier stages). But, when he grows a bit more in his stats and skills, I'll then be able to put more of a spotlight on Shinto when it comes to fights and the like, especially when I can get to his class quest which I am excited for to finally write :3 For the things on love interest, although I don't want to spoil too much, or say much on this, I'm not really planning much on the romance aspect of the story, but when I do, I'll work to just making it wholesome (I'll make them independent in a way like "hey! I don't need you to always protect me" or, don't worry about me :) ), and not this save the damsel in distress scenario! Or at times, harem. I plan on just keeping at the very least one or two love interests. In the near future, I plan on still putting equal focus on the side characters whilst also making a bigger focus on Shinto (World view quests, interactions, gear and etc) but for now, that is for future me to write about. Thank you much for giving me your opinions! It really helps to know what I did wrong or went too excessive about :)
Cellphone:Yeah sure, the latest chapter I read was chapter 25, then I skimmed a couple of the later chapters. I found the story to be dull when Frey feels like the main focus of the story. Shinto focuses on her growth and he explains everything to her. When she's around the story is about the actions she's making, or Shinto is talking to or explaining something to her. I dislike that even when Shinto is alone he is sometimes still thinking of Frey, how he can help her grow and understand the game. I understand that since his class is support it makes sense that he would try to raise those around him as much as possible since that's when his class can really shine but I'm reading to see Shinto, not Frey. It feels like she's gonna become a love interest, which, with what I've already said, makes me dislike seeing her even more and makes me apprehensive of where the story will go. I've read some light novels I sincerely enjoyed up to the point where it was ruined for me by a love interest with some bimbo I don't care for or even like and yet she comes up absolutely everywhere. If I was told that Frey will not be a love interest I'd probably be more willing to keep going for a bit longer. I stopped reading because I saw that she's still a main character with probably much of the story's focus after skimming the later chapters a bit. With all that said, I do enjoy this story when it's Shinto alone and not focusing on helping Frey grow or whatnot. I feel like you've put a lot of thought into the game and any flaws in the design of the world seem to be small or don't mess up the story and can be overlooked. I will probably eventually look at this story again, but if Frey is still a main character that is one of Shinto's main focus I'd probably still have the same opinion. Thanks for getting content out to your readers! And thanks for caring what your readers think. While I might have these opinions it does seem like most of your readers enjoy the parts that I criticized, I hope your story does well!
Ehem... can you give us a gay side character that is a bitch like everyone else's friend is? Gays make everything more fun.
Tamaki_Leon:Thank you for the reply! I do realize how I've put a lot of the recent chapters focus on Frey. As an author, I wanted to make it so that every character that is introduced (whether small or not) gets somewhat of a spotlight, especially for the main side characters. I honestly really liked these little parts of the story in the stories I've read and wanted to integrate it into my own, but I see now that I went a little overboard on it, especially when only one main side character was introduced. I haven't had a chance to expand much on Shinto's main story as I felt that if I introduce it now, it'll feel rushed and I wanted to just take it slow and steady. As a support, I couldn't make Shinto do many things solo, especially against boss fights or dungeons, unlike other gaming novels where the MCs are basically top tier fighters that can easily solo bosses and win. (If Shinto manages to just solo everything, it'll become a problem in balancing, which I'm most worried about, especially when we're in the earlier stages). But, when he grows a bit more in his stats and skills, I'll then be able to put more of a spotlight on Shinto when it comes to fights and the like, especially when I can get to his class quest which I am excited for to finally write :3 For the things on love interest, although I don't want to spoil too much, or say much on this, I'm not really planning much on the romance aspect of the story, but when I do, I'll work to just making it wholesome (I'll make them independent in a way like "hey! I don't need you to always protect me" or, don't worry about me :) ), and not this save the damsel in distress scenario! Or at times, harem. I plan on just keeping at the very least one or two love interests. In the near future, I plan on still putting equal focus on the side characters whilst also making a bigger focus on Shinto (World view quests, interactions, gear and etc) but for now, that is for future me to write about. Thank you much for giving me your opinions! It really helps to know what I did wrong or went too excessive about :)
I just thought of something~ why not make a gay assassin that is so handsome he seduces all his enemies whether they be straight men or bent women, lol. And of course he needs a partner in crime, why not make a bad boy bard? like a second support like that Reina girl or whuteva her name is. Almost all bards in other novels of the same genre are goody good handome boys so why not make a bad, rock 'n roll, handome boi? That whenever you hear a tune and see a handome boi under the moonlight, you might wanna run cuz the gay assassin is coming? Anyway is just a personal request of mine cuz I haven't read or seen any of this kind of character from other books. Who knows, it really might make your book a lot more fun, unique and refreshing. 🙂
ClassyGay:Ehem... can you give us a gay side character that is a bitch like everyone else's friend is? Gays make everything more fun.
Ey... it's fine. Tbh I just commented that out of err... whatever, and I wasn't even expecting you to reply. So just continue your story and give us good stuff🙂 Happy New Year!
Tamaki_Leon:Its neither a hard no or a immediate no, I'll think about though, because I'm not really that good at writing gay characters so I dont want to ruin expectations, I'm sorry 😓
i drop it for the same reason
Cellphone:Yeah sure, the latest chapter I read was chapter 25, then I skimmed a couple of the later chapters. I found the story to be dull when Frey feels like the main focus of the story. Shinto focuses on her growth and he explains everything to her. When she's around the story is about the actions she's making, or Shinto is talking to or explaining something to her. I dislike that even when Shinto is alone he is sometimes still thinking of Frey, how he can help her grow and understand the game. I understand that since his class is support it makes sense that he would try to raise those around him as much as possible since that's when his class can really shine but I'm reading to see Shinto, not Frey. It feels like she's gonna become a love interest, which, with what I've already said, makes me dislike seeing her even more and makes me apprehensive of where the story will go. I've read some light novels I sincerely enjoyed up to the point where it was ruined for me by a love interest with some bimbo I don't care for or even like and yet she comes up absolutely everywhere. If I was told that Frey will not be a love interest I'd probably be more willing to keep going for a bit longer. I stopped reading because I saw that she's still a main character with probably much of the story's focus after skimming the later chapters a bit. With all that said, I do enjoy this story when it's Shinto alone and not focusing on helping Frey grow or whatnot. I feel like you've put a lot of thought into the game and any flaws in the design of the world seem to be small or don't mess up the story and can be overlooked. I will probably eventually look at this story again, but if Frey is still a main character that is one of Shinto's main focus I'd probably still have the same opinion. Thanks for getting content out to your readers! And thanks for caring what your readers think. While I might have these opinions it does seem like most of your readers enjoy the parts that I criticized, I hope your story does well!