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Neil_Ads
Neil_AdsAuthor4yr
2020-08-26 08:01

Caution! I've made a mistake and there is a lot of info dump in the early chapters. Although I cannot guarantee it, I am doing my best not to repeat this in the future. This story revolves on the Main Character Nile who transmigrated in the world full of zombie. I will focus on him and his development. As a newbie author, I know I will make a lot mistakes during this journey. I apologize in advance for that. I am open for critics(no harsh words please), that way I know where I am lacking and what should I improve more. If you have any suggestions and tips to improve my writing, please do tell me about it.

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Replies63
RikySmith123
RikySmith123Lv4

harem

XxSurViValXx
XxSurViValXxLv1

please check out my novel Reid Flannel and give me your thoughts. Sorry for self-advertisement

ultrahi
ultrahiLv5

No.

RikySmith123:harem
MagicSand
MagicSandLv6

No

RikySmith123:harem
MagicSand
MagicSandLv6

No

RikySmith123:harem
DankoLord
DankoLordLv4

please no

RikySmith123:harem
Shin07
Shin07Lv3

imagine seeing the same guy in another book

XxSurViValXx:please check out my novel Reid Flannel and give me your thoughts. Sorry for self-advertisement
N0B0DY3
N0B0DY3Lv5

Make the story go slower it moves too fast and because of that it’s difficult to piece things together. Explain what everything does such as the ammo Types don’t expect people to know the power of each weapons strength just because you say they are good(make the character react over dramatically). Also finally you have to scale every time the main character get a bit stronger such as the beginning it says all his stats are 1 and 1.5 you can’t tell if 1 means Adverage human’s strength or a malnutrition one then when his stats jump to 4 what does the 4 even mean theres never anything spefic about how much 1 point equals.

Revan_Vex
Revan_VexLv14

yes

RikySmith123:harem
N0B0DY3
N0B0DY3Lv5

I suggest you remove the Comedy tag on the novel though i get you want to make afew jokes sometimes you shouldn’t deliberately say there is comedy because comedy/zombie apocalypse with a system just don’t add up and people will start to expect what the tags say there is in the novel and more or less you will confuse the readers expecting something and i actually got confused

Neil_Ads
Neil_AdsAuthor

yeah, to be honest, when i started this novel, that tags are what is recommended and I just clicked each of them until I run out of tags. lol. Still, I won't remove the comedy tag, I wanted to improve in this aspect and I will not stop myself on making some silly jokes inside the novel. Also, I saw your comments and to be honest, it was pretty helpful. I was able to know the things I havent considered when wrting a chapter. Thank you so much, I will definitely improve thanks to you.

N0B0DY3:I suggest you remove the Comedy tag on the novel though i get you want to make afew jokes sometimes you shouldn’t deliberately say there is comedy because comedy/zombie apocalypse with a system just don’t add up and people will start to expect what the tags say there is in the novel and more or less you will confuse the readers expecting something and i actually got confused
N0B0DY3
N0B0DY3Lv5

Lol and Ty for the response

Neil_Ads:yeah, to be honest, when i started this novel, that tags are what is recommended and I just clicked each of them until I run out of tags. lol. Still, I won't remove the comedy tag, I wanted to improve in this aspect and I will not stop myself on making some silly jokes inside the novel. Also, I saw your comments and to be honest, it was pretty helpful. I was able to know the things I havent considered when wrting a chapter. Thank you so much, I will definitely improve thanks to you.
CosmicQueer
CosmicQueerLv15

ok

PuddingMaster
PuddingMasterLv14

Is there world building?

ErjasD
ErjasDLv13

Romance?

Neil_Ads
Neil_AdsAuthor

none so far, I'm not knowledgeable on that one so I doubt if there will be one

ErjasD:Romance?
Hammy_Hamilton
Hammy_HamiltonLv3

fix grammar

Neil_Ads
Neil_AdsAuthor

doing my best.

Hammy_Hamilton:fix grammar
Mel_Aniv
Mel_AnivLv4

Hello author...I know you are reading my novel.... and I'm reading yours! Please make a review on my zombie novel called Waking up in the undead world. Helpful criticisms were much appreciated.

Daoist370160
Daoist370160Lv14

Author my request is that you stop using Philippine words in a novel written in English since it feels weird. thank you

Other Reviews
Dann_Giovanni
Dann_GiovanniLv1

Into the Zombie World is a book of fiction written by Neil_Ads. The story revolves around a man named Nile who sought to survive a zombie apocalypse after his untimely death by being bumped by a truck. The author uses present-tense. Well, it is a good story. Personally, what I love about the book is Nile's intelligence and the way he reacts to certain things. He thinks logically, making the right choice except for the store as he could've looted the first three houses instead of choosing the store. I love his plans and schemes to get rid off or defeat zombies. I think there is a mixture of futuristic technology since there is this so called system that displays certain things. I'm not used to reading these kind of novel mixtures. Anyway, the grammar and punctuation is definitely one thing the author must improve. Yes, it uses present-tense but because of this, it seems more like a guy telling actions rather than a describing and story-telling. He is walking, He is going, he is banging, things like that should be changed. Because of this, it lacks emotions and some elements of a horror novel. You could describe the zombies more rather than using Big, small, fat, or sharp teeth. I didn't feel any suspense except for the parts in which the dialogues weren't aplenty. I would like to suggest that you describe things like this: Example: His leg were trembling. Try going to the next level: His legs were noodles. Or to add more suspense and frightening elements, I would suggest: Example: The silence shrouded his mind. (Lacks emotions) "Once the quietness arrived, it stayed and spread in Estha. It reached out of his head and enfolded him in its swampy arms…sent its stealthy, suckered tentacles inching along the insides of his skull, hoovering the knolls and dells of his memory, dislodging old sentences, whisking them off the tip of his tongue." Something like that. Well, I hope this honest criticism helped out!

Daoist_Red_Reads
Daoist_Red_ReadsLv4

Keep in mind that I just gave up at around chapter 40. I will try to explain my ratings I am ok with the different buildings as long as there is a comparison. And I am sure alot are alright with it. I usually just dismiss those as fantasy buildings when the info dumps comes in and finally, since I am a filipino, am alright once there are no info dumps. The reason as to why I rated it 4 is the over explaining things. Like memory and even a katana; the katana was even described with different words, 5 of them in fact. The info dumps are too much. It is nice to have info dumps but there is just too many. In the whole 40 chapters, it felt like more than half of those chapters are info dumps, unnecessary infodumps even. The main character is fine up until his attitude turned 180. The character is good and is not provoked easily, later on he saved a group of people then after that he found another group of people. Those guys just warned him not to go there, there was no reason for conflict but then the main character fights the group cause he didn't like what he said 😒. He is pretty generic to me so I wanted it at 4 but that attitude change reminded me of the other powerfantasy novels with horrible plot like space martial god. Which really just soured my experience so this review might be a little lower than like a -0.1 in ratings than the one I had in mind. The world is explained in an annoying way. Could have kept some mystery but decided to just push many of it's secret out. Other than that not that bad so 3. I could have made it 4 or 5 but those info dumps destroyed the atmostsphere of the world for me. Overall rating is 3.7 for me but due to my biased judgement. -0.1 which makes it 3.6. Maybe it gets better but I just don't have the patience to read novels like these anymore.

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