webnovel
AnimeReader_player
AnimeReader_playerLv54yr
2020-06-17 13:07

KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki KushinaXAraki Only kushina...... Great novel sir 👌

Liked by 5 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
NotYourCat
NotYourCatLv11

There are times when the story that you like, become the story that you dislike because of the idealist of author want to force some plot he want... Example: The Last of Us 2 And this story It become annoying when author nerfed the MC just because he want to write bull**** rivalry... Moreover the rival is random OC, we don't care about him, and it's make the story less enjoyable. Good Rivalry needs some build up, and not randomly he is as strong as the MC, altho you write some reason why he is that strong, that just become like your unneeded reasoning for that forced plot. IMHO, rivalry plot is not gonna works in fanfics, because majority of the reader doesn't care for the rival. That will be different in original novel.because you can build up the rival, but in this story... No... I don't think it'll works... You just make many of your reader feel irritated if you forced it... Will still read it but let's see... Maybe I will drop it if some forced plot that's make me feel uncomfortable still happen... Oh, forgot to say, I recently always commented something like this when do review Please thinking about what kind of feeling you want to deliver to reader, do you want the reader feel blood pumping while reading your story, feeling relaxed, feeling sadness, or feeling happy, you should incorporate it to the plot... Think if you write this chapter will the reader feeling what I want they to felt, if I write this paragraph, will the reader feel what I want they to felt, etc... So the story you make will not become random plot without feeling, and also not triggered your reader

Tsukimikado
TsukimikadoLv4

I do not see a lot of grammar mistakes so that part is good but others?? Ohh boi, where do i even start. First, Tsunade only left Konoha nearing the end of second war because Dan die near the end of the third the reason being she is still there in konoha during Anko's cursed mark sealing flashback helping Anko with Hiruzen. Do u remember who is the same generation as Anko if not earlier? Kakashi and bunch meaning she still there during third war. So your baseless bashing of her in last few chapters left a bad taste. Yes Nawaki may died during the Second but not Dan. Also that means Tsunade is also at Konoha during Mito funeral, i mean seriously, u r forcing Tsunade who loves her grandparents way too much too out of character. Lastly, really, i mean really of all female character u chose Kushina, make no mistake, i like her and all but this also botched the canon future and i can not see the good point about it. Just way too idealistic. Plot armor is only in moderation plus doing your research about characters before u write them. Uzushiokagure case is a curious one since Kishi left a black hole in that plot in any case Hiruzen is the best military leader since he won two wars with scheming and all but he is a joke during peace time, i mean he won the second war when he do not have many SS class shinobi with him iirc only him and sakumo since the sannin were still young during that time only at the end they fought Hanzo and became famous and during the third war he prolonged the fight to nuture Minato and BOOM. He may have profitted from Uzushiogakure and Iwa, Kumo, Kiri war i do not see him selling info about the seals. Those three village only aim at Uzumaki clan because they want their bloodline and seal technique and being eliminating one of Konoha's main ally is a huge bonus to that. If Hiruzen knew about it quicker he can two pronged the villages and won it rather than prolonging it at the cost of its many shinobi lives.

Baki9933
Baki9933Lv3

First, I have to say that this story has a decent grammar, alongside the similarly-decent pacing/structure. Nonetheless, the clarity could indeed be somewhat better, honestly speaking! Currently, my biggest problem with this story is actually the author's relatively weak comprehension of the English language itself; So, let me explain now what I mean by that: He likes to write many glaring awkward sentences in a paragraph, and it's not just one or two sentences, here and there, - the entire chapters are filled with them, to be honest! It simply doesn't 'flow' well with the native speakers, such as myself, as it really takes away from the overall immersion, and the readability, of the entire story we're supposed to read here! Therefore, even though he has a nice vocabulary, and writes in a grammatically correct way, it still doesn't feel authentic to an English native speaker, who likes to read with care and doesn't just skim over the words, looking for wish fulfillment moments, Basically, even though it's not exactly on the "Engrish" level of writing, so to speak, it's really coming close to that, in fact! However, if you're in a similar bracket as the author, regarding your English grasp levels, then I guess that this won't be much of a problem for you, in the end! As for general writing; It has some nice ideas, but it also appears quite unrealistic, most of the time (this could also maybe attributed to the previous point). TL/DR: If you're an English native, I genuinely recommend staying off this story in the future!

Related Stories

Naruto: About the Fact That my Brother is Madara

Kyōsuke got reincarnated into the world of Naruto in the Warring States period and became an ordinary member of the Uchiha clan. At this time, Uchiha Madara was still just a teenager, the God of Shinobi was still pondering how to make World Peace, Black Zetsu was plotting how to split the moon to save his mother, and the enigmatic Jigen was quietly chanting sutras in a secluded temple. The young Kyōsuke stepped onto the battlefield, but fortunately, he awakened a Point Redemption System, allowing him to trade points earned by killing enemies for various abilities. [Tenseigan, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Divine Tree Seed, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Truth-Seeking Orbs, SSS-level ability, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Yamotsu Hirasaka, SS-level ability, requires 100,000 points to exchange.] Uchiha Madara: "Kyōsuke, you and I as brothers can surely annihilate the Senju Clan together!" Senju Hashirama: "My friend, let’s realize the dream of building Konoha Village together!" Black Zutsu: "Help me save my mother!" Uzumaki Mito: "You promised to marry me—are you trying to go back on your word?" Otsutsuki Kaguya: "This is bad! The clan’s law enforcement team is here. Kyōsuke, defend against them with me!" Otsutsuki Isshiki: "Impossible! How do you know my unique eye technique?!" Uchiha Kyōsuke: "Impossible? Please, I can even hit the moon!" ——————————————————— This is a Translation Raw: 火影:关于我兄弟是斑爷这档事 Author: 闲者阿七 Support me on Patreon to read 20+ Chapters Ahead https://www.patreon.com/Night_FrOst

Night_FrOst_ · Anime & Comics
4.5
297 Chs

Naruto: The Outsider's Resolve

[A Naruto Fan Fiction] Make the best of what you have, they said... But what I am supposed to do when the best I have are red-eyed freaks, a child who's supposed to be the jailor of the most dangerous being in the world, a snake bastard with serious boundary issues, and a whole world of super soldiers with licences to murder. And you know the best part? None of them like me so much... Oh shut it, old man! Take that Will of Fire and shove it up your— Yeah, this second swing at life isn't panning out... --------------------------------------------------------------- What to expect: - Gradual strength progression. Meaningful growth. The MC is a normal guy dumped into the Narutoverse, starts out weak and has to work and struggle for everything he gains. - "Slow" paced. My writing style is a zoomed-in look camera that follows the protagonist. It might seem slow, but I ensure something is always happening to progress the plot forward. - Gritty and often bloody fights and actions scenes with a focus on taijutsu—you'll see individual combat, team fights, and large-scale battle. - A different take on the Narutoverse. The world is full of superhuman mercenaries with liscenes-to-kill—that along with the protagonist's struggles paint the world in a much darker light. - Additions and expansion to the "chakra" power system. I consider myself a conservative when it comes to adapting the power system—and aim to retain the original feel while highlighting the best parts. - The Outsider's Resolve version of Narutoverse uses the [Naruto Manga] as the base—with additions from anime, books, and even Boruto (though very less likely). --------------------------------------------------------------- DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/w5dJ82SfMr --------------------------------------------------------------- PATREON LINK: https://www.patreon.com/fictiononlyreader --------------------------------------------------------------- DECLARATION: This story is also present on: FFN, Ao3, SpaceBattles, SufficientVelocity, and ScribbleHub RoyalRoad [to be verified] --------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: I don't own any character other than my OCs. The cover pic was commissioned from Kodah.art on Instagram

FictionOnlyReader · Anime & Comics
4.2
366 Chs

Inner Voice: All Heroines Hear My Inner Voice

Reincarnated and traveling to another world, Eiji Seiya initially thought the world was normal. That was what he thought before he met the heroine and protagonist of the franchise he had watched in his previous life. Not only that, after he awakened the Inner Voice System to grow strong by complaining about plot, heroine and protagonist in his heart to get many rewards. He is determined to increase his power so that he can save his home world, the world where he was reincarnated that was hit by the disaster "Honkai" and save beautiful girls like Kiana, Mai, Bronya, Rita and others who had tragic endings in the original works! "I will save them all!" However... Everything went smoothly... Eiji earned rewards every time he changed the plot in another franchise. It's just that... What's wrong with these heroines? Lala Satalin Deviluke who was supposed to be engaged to the protagonist instead became his fiancée. Sona Sitri suddenly called him to the student council office and said she wanted to make a deal with him. Rias Gremory who was supposed to ask the protagonist for help to solve her political marriage problem with Riser Phenex inexplicably came to him. The girls were disgusted at the protagonists of their respective franchises. Something was wrong here! Not only that, heroines like Kotegawa Yui, Sairenji Haruna, Akeno Himejima, Kuroka, Serafall Leviathan, Grayfia Lucifuge, Sakurajima Mai, Ai Hoshino, Kasumigaoka Utaha and others... They like him! All the super beautiful and sexy women that many men in the world covet surround him and leave their respective protagonists. Grayfia even betrayed her husband. Eiji who saw all this was dumbfounded. At first he was confused as to why these heroines were surrounding him, but gradually he realized and knew that it was all happening because ... His inner voice! - The plot that has been changed by the MC: 1. To Love Ru: 95% 2. Highschool DxD: 83% 3. Seishun Buta Yarou: 82% 4. Oshi no Ko: 100% 5. Saekano: 98% 6. Oregairu: 93% 7. Shinmai Maou no Testament: 100% 8. Mieruko-chan: 99% 9. Trinity Seven: 70% 10. The Legendary Mechanic: 35% 11. Oresuki: 51% 12. Food Wars: 44% 13. Rent-A-Girlfriend: 61% 14. The World God Only Knows: 100% This is the plot change process of the latest chapter and will change as the story progresses. By the way, the grammar at the beginning is bad and will improve as the chapter progresses. However, my writing style will not change much because this is an inner voice novel, which means that there will be many reactions from each character. Oh and in chapter hundreds there will be a group chat to prevent the loss of interaction between the heroines. It's a special chat group for the heroines in the MC's harem. - Get the latest chapters faster on my patreon. Support me on patreon to keep me motivated to write more chapters: www.patreon.com/DogLicker

DogLickerGods · Anime & Comics
4.7
655 Chs