Average Joe turned godlike - this briefly describes the story. Ascension of the Elder had me hooked at the very first chapter with an interesting introduction and a hilarious reincarnation process (disco balls and eldritch horrors). Overall, the story is interesting and well paced. However, it has some glaring holes, which fixed, would bring the story to a near perfect 5 star in my book. The mc is an average Joe that suddenly dies. With grit willpower, he steals soul energy and manages to reincarnate in an alternate universe. The mc is *very* op. I mean very OP. He is essentially immortal, due to his soul, and can quickly deduct any cultivation technique, spell, and array - this leaves a story focused on his friends and family that he gathers around him and the almost slapstick-style comedy interactions between them. The mc is only 7 years old, but acts mature - but isn't without flaws, as you learn when he kills for the first time. This gives us a Japanese-like OP protagonist, much like Death March, etc. Now this is all fine and dandy, but the novel also has a few inconsistencies that many readers feel incongruous about. For example, the mc, from one day to another, suddenly displays inhuman like prowess in cultivation and spells, and acts nothing like a child - why doesn't any one question this? Next, he is given a beginner's guide to arrays, and learns that arrays consists of characters like Chinese symbols; how can he then suddenly pass a Master level array exam without having learnt them? Or, the MC meets his first guard, a released prisoner, but out of thin air pulls out separate letters addressed specifically to his family's situation and to himself (even though he had never met him before and didn't know who he was). These types of glaring potholes/inconsistencies can be glossed over, as the story is entertaining, but it detracts from its overall value. Next is the grammar - and this is where the biggest flaw is revleaed with Ascension of the Elder. The author doesn't use commas, periods, or question marks. No seriously, he doesn't use them. Yes, there are sentences, but you can have entire sentences without the proper commas or question/exclamation marks. E.g., "who are you what are you doing here?" Is a typical example, where you'd expect a question mark in the middle of the sentences, indicating that's its actually 2 different sets of questions. This subpar grammar, significantly detracts from the reading experience and ruins the immersion, as the reader has to deduct the proper meaning of a sentence and sometimes reread it to understand it. (And no, I'm not saying I'm grammar God, but I know when it completely wrong). Lastly, the story is well written, and introduces some interesting concepts and a good plot. However, it also suffers from overly long exposition, for example in the 2nd and 3rd chapter, which is almost completely consist of exposition and background story telling. Once you get over this hurdle, the story quickly kicks off and you're introduced to the main characters. In the latter part of chapter 50 - 160 the story slowly turns more and more slapstick comedy-like, with overly eccentric characters and the humor feels pretty forced. The author loves, for some reason, to insert taglines and cliches from pop-culture, but where I found it fell short, was when characters in this fantasy world began to use pop-culture references, without ever having access to then. E.g. the crazy Susan saying "Nani?!" - how would she know what that means? Or, when she sings Mad World. In short, the humor is okay-ish but often the author tries to hard to force the comedy and insert references to pop-culture that doesn't belong. Story development is good and the world building also so. There is a sense of a deeper plot going on regarding the mystery behind the bastion and the city that the mc lives in. And there is also a sense of a larger world due to the recent dialogues that the characters have (cont. In comments).
Liked by 5 people
LIKE... regarding the empire. This situation, in the greater world, influences the mc and his friends and family, and drives the plot. This is good, as you then don't feel like the world of the MC is a soap bubble, detached from the rest of the world. Release consistency is good, with regular updates - around 5 chapters a week and no significant larger hiatus or drop outs. So not much to comment there. Overall, Ascension of the Elder is a promising story. The author could really use a proper editor and proof-reader to clean up the writing quality and dial down the forced eccentric characters, poorly used cliche references, and plot holes/inconsistencies. I'm hoping that when the author has become more proficient, that (s)he will do a re-write of the initial chapters to fix this. I believe that this story is worth your time, if you're into OP MC, comedy, focus on character interactions, and miss a decent fantasy novel in your bookshelf. Enjoy!
Oh forgot my rating; Story Development: 4 Writing Quality: 3 Update Stability: 5 World Background: 5 Character Design: 4 Overall: 4.2
And here I thought I wrote lengthy, verbose reviews. Not only did you exceed the character limit of the review itself, but exceeded it by almost 2 fold! I cannot speak about its helpfulness or convenience, but this review was certainly detailed, at the very least.
