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Mithren
MithrenLv134yr
2020-08-22 12:20

The idea behind this story is good and I'm of the opinion that if the author keeps with the story to completion then they will have a fantastic first draft. That said the author tells the readers what's happening rather showing. This doesn't allow the reader to deeply immerse themselves in the story. I think this also contributes to the pacing problems of the story. Over all if you don't mind that this is a fledgling author then I believe this to be a promising story and hope the author will continue writing it.

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