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Luckyboy13
Luckyboy13Lv64yr
2020-09-24 00:14

For a guy who was apathetic even when he's sentenced to death became a warm goody good guy as soon as he play the game? what's up with flirting around with all these npc? its like he's hitting on to every woman he comes across.. MCs character can change, but shouldn't there be a transition period !here it happened instantaneously. what's wrong with MC to drop his advantages (dude is flame talent but won't train it?? )There's these random characters popping up without propet introduction too. plus what's wrong with his levels? isn't the prisoners supposed to be beta players !how come there are others with higher levels ! too many inconsistencies for me. i think it's not my cup of tea. l did liked the concept though. i don't know whether the story gets better in further chapters(i only read up to 23, so this can be considered only as a first impression). nice attempt bro. really appreciate your efforts.

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Replies5
BotwaCazador
BotwaCazadorAuthor

Nix is the apex fire mage in Colonial, he just isn't that way at the start. I've been writing this for a year, what you read covers the first week. Geez dude... Why long time readers don't review and a fly-by does is beyond me.

PetraZi
PetraZiLv4

And while you're at it, check out Blackbird. :P

Luckyboy13
Luckyboy13Lv6

😁 I wrote, basically because it was way too different from my expectay.. guess i have to give a 2nd try

BotwaCazador:Nix is the apex fire mage in Colonial, he just isn't that way at the start. I've been writing this for a year, what you read covers the first week. Geez dude... Why long time readers don't review and a fly-by does is beyond me.
xFKratos
xFKratosLv15

It's understandable though. I am at chapter 30 and have more or less the same impression. His initial character introduction was showing a completely different side then how he behaves ingame. So far there was barely any descriptions of the world around him or even the people he met. He instantly travels between several continents, suddenly is grouped up with people without any introduction of those. For me this is an example of a way to fast pace with to less information explanation, which keeps me from feeling immersed in the story. At this point I'm actually searching for another novel to read. If the whole novel is like this it's certainly not my cup of tee. According to your reply it seems it will get better at some point. If this is the case maybe a self review explaining that would be helpful. If you care about that at all at this time since it's already complete.

BotwaCazador:Nix is the apex fire mage in Colonial, he just isn't that way at the start. I've been writing this for a year, what you read covers the first week. Geez dude... Why long time readers don't review and a fly-by does is beyond me.
BotwaCazador
BotwaCazadorAuthor

No worries. If it's not your cup of tea then thanks for giving it a try. Happy trails...

xFKratos:It's understandable though. I am at chapter 30 and have more or less the same impression. His initial character introduction was showing a completely different side then how he behaves ingame. So far there was barely any descriptions of the world around him or even the people he met. He instantly travels between several continents, suddenly is grouped up with people without any introduction of those. For me this is an example of a way to fast pace with to less information explanation, which keeps me from feeling immersed in the story. At this point I'm actually searching for another novel to read. If the whole novel is like this it's certainly not my cup of tee. According to your reply it seems it will get better at some point. If this is the case maybe a self review explaining that would be helpful. If you care about that at all at this time since it's already complete.
Other Reviews
tupster29
tupster29Lv11

Pretty dang good. The RL prologue introducing the character and why he ends up playing the game is brief but believable, its refreshing to see neither the lazy cliche "Everyone has enough disposable income to spend every day playing a game" nor filler chapters dedicated to RL just to make the story "realistic". Character developments good so far too, slow in a good way, where we are told an appropriate amount of information about a character for how long the MC has known them (there's no "you saved my life so here's my entire life history and also my unending loyalty). Not to say the MC doesn't quickly form relationships(in a way that fits his character/personality), but so far everything has been progressing naturally. The only criticisms I have are not knowing much about the MC's history, but I'm only on chp 14 so it could still be coming, or it might be more of a gradual reveal, either way I'd like to know just a bit more early on. Also, the world is large, and location names are kinda hard to keep track of. If anyone is thrown by other reviews complaining about the sex, know it isn't really described explicitly(so far I've only seen 1 short instance describing the sex, 95% of the time its "they kissed and went to the bedroom", end paragraph, then "After an enjoyable night MC woke up" and its right back to the story). Also wouldn't describe it as "harem", he's not collecting girls for his adventuring party or anything, it's more like he's a warm, passionate guy(see fire affinity), and having casual sex in a no-risk virtual world fits his and others characters.

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