webnovel
_EMI_
_EMI_Lv45yr
2019-06-21 18:12

At first, it was about M.C and reading this novel was really fun. Then the author added a little romance, which is necessary in a good novel. Now, it's about Hermione and only about her, but with a little politics here and there. Author over-explains everything about Hermione on every new chapter and about what Harry thinks about her every little action, like every little sneeze, every little sentence and it's very annoying. There was action in this novel in the beginning, there was adventure and exploring new magic and presenting the world in a different way. But now it's just some nonsense every chapter that I highly doubt anyone actually reads. Well I just skip most of it..

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Replies2
Fortunate_Soul
Fortunate_SoulAuthor

Okay. Thank you for bringing that to my notice. I take your suggestion and see what I can do in order to make the future chapters more interesting. Once again, thank you very much for the constructive criticism :)

Roberto_Diaz_4807
Roberto_Diaz_4807Lv4

I'm about a hundred pages into the story so far and i can really see what he means. at first things were more interesting but now it's Hermione every other thing. especially after strike #3 I thought things would change. and I've really been hoping that Daphne would get into more interesting parts to play. she almost seems like a perfect partner for him..... i hope things change. more Daphne less Hermione .... please

Fortunate_Soul:Okay. Thank you for bringing that to my notice. I take your suggestion and see what I can do in order to make the future chapters more interesting. Once again, thank you very much for the constructive criticism :)
Other Reviews
Pavan1234
Pavan1234Lv5

There are some recent reviews about this novel which criticized this novel for stupid reasons (atleast in my opinion)which have been bothering me. Those reasons are : A) character development of Mc : this is the plot point that I started dislike as I read more novels. These character development for very predictable, for me, as most of the time they done in same ways. They are 1) Inexperienced child Mc facing a lot problems with stupid decisions and misunderstandings to become an experienced(still not smart) *****.(this way is seen in most of shounen stories. So, I got bored by these plots and started to hate and avoid them.) 2)with a sad and tragic backstory of some smart guy Mc with debatable bad quality. (the chances of this way being good and well written are low.) B) Second one is about some guy complaining about how this novel's Mc learning Legilimency without any help from books or teachers and time it took this Mc was too low. Buddy what you're reading are reading is a fictional novel where 99% of times Mc are known to create miracle or make the impossible possible. My advice for above types of complainers, please only read shounen stories ( for a proper character development) for those that need character development and for those that don't want miracles done by Mc in novels, stop reading the novels and live your normal day lives( as in our normal life there will be no one that can make impossible possible). The following features are what I search for in novel : 1) start with a interesting idea. 2) unique Mc (no need for character development). 3) clever and funny character interactions. 4) most of the time fast paced novels attracts me. 5) an proper ending. This is a very quality most novels don't have in Webnovel. I wrote all this because after a long time I am reading a good fast paced harry Potter fanfiction with slightly unique Mc. Please don't discourage the author.

guilhermecoimbra
guilhermecoimbraLv5

1) The writting quality is good for this platform and it is the story's saving grace, but also means it is average if this work was published in a developed platform. 2) The updates are constant and rigorous, I give props for the author commitment with his readers. 3) For whatever reason, I think the author is "milking" the story, halting the main plot progression and filiing the story with some tinkering in the Hp world, like creating a company, magical experiments and etc., the latters aren't a problem on itself, but the balance between the main plot progression and them. In suffice, if this was a paid novel and not a fanfiction I bet people would be talking about fillers and word count, things that authors do to drag the story for extend periods of time. I have no idea how things work on pa.treon. 3.1) If the tags "slow pace"; "Business management" were here I'd be less miffed about it. 3.2) For reference, HP and the sorcerer stone have little less than 77.000 words. This story still are in the first year of Hogwarts with 114 chapters (approximately 1,5k words per chapter according with author's estimation). Besides, Rowling did the world building from scratch, author have a sandbox. 4) Initially, the character development was one of the things responsible for the story's initial momentum and, ironically, author - in his notes - pointed out some inconsistencies with Rowling's original characters's profiles, but then he ended up creating some of their own. Let me explain: 4.1) Harry is a trasmigated OC, he has something that people with depression and anger issues strives for: a third view perspective of the situation, in a way for them not take things too personally and affect their mental health. The character internalized this problems so much - abuse, child endangerment - that he end up appearing as an unstable sociopath. 4.2) Hermione. I don't what's the author wants with the character. I suppose that he idolize her so much that no matter what she does against the MC and creates a circus drama, the consequences are a mere afterthought by the author with a meaninless development, in a way she'll always remain as main female character. Furthermore, the circle repeats just to stir the readers I think. That's my review up to chapter 114.

Chibi_Senpai
Chibi_SenpaiLv10

Honestly I still really don’t know what I expected from this novel and what kind of mc the author truly wanted to create. Maybe he’s just trying to please the readers and I truly wish the best but I can finally see this novel is really not for me. I don’t even remember what made me pick up this novel but I thought it’d be a dark/cold/pragmatic Harry novel. I honestly liked the beginning but things kind of took a downward turn when Hermione was introduced. I still remember the moment something popped up in the back of my mind that I wasn’t going to be able to binge read a hundred chapters. It was when Harry hugged Hermione and got addicted to the warmth. From them I knew it was a wrap and the cool headed stable logical mc was in danger. Despite the fact that he’d known her less than a year and she was 11 years old, the mc proceeded to get dangerously attached to Hermione even though their ideals couldn’t be more conflicting. I’d originally applauded his decision to groom her into his subordinate as she truly was a gifted witch but I wonder where it went so wrong as the author seemed to heighten his emotions for her when it was obvious how dangerously stupid falling for a little girl was. He taught her and revealed to her a majority of his secrets while her loyalty was never certain. It’s like he deluded himself into thinking it was a sure thing they were going to spend their lives together. Meanwhile she’s just eleven, fickle and easily able to be turned against him. I don’t know, I blame reader’s obsession with seeing an mc with empathy, ‘human’ emotions, and showing genuine care for those close to him. Maybe it’s just a difference of preference but I disliked how irrational, delusional and emotionally invested he became when it had to do with Hermione. It sometimes felt like the author was inhabiting the mc and was very enamored with Hermione/Emma Watson. I won’t deny it, I can somewhat understand where he’s coming from as I dealt with the same challenges when writing myself but I made sure to separate myself from the mc and try not to show favoritism to a specific female character. Hermione was originally meant to be a pawn but ended up owning the mc’s very fragile heart and unstable mind. It’s disheartening honestly and a primary reason why I’m dropping this novel. I wanted a cool headed mc who got things done and wasn’t controlled by his dxck or emotions. I’m not really a fan of overly emotional protagonists so I’m just gonna get off the ride while I can after reading 35 chapters. Reading other reviews showed me things don’t really change in future chapters since the author is dead set on Hermione even though their personalities directly clash. And instead of the mc corrupting and subordinating her, she’s ended up doing his head in. He acted irrationally by revealing to her all his secrets and I doubt he’s ever going to really take back control of the relationship. It’s too much angst for a bunch of 11 year olds to be dealing with. Thus the mc and the story has just turned me off it. No hard feelings, wish the novel the best. I’m out.

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OneMoreScore · Others
4.9
96 Chs