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Dfransginola
DfransginolaLv55yr
2019-11-10 03:06

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Other Reviews
FrostByte47
FrostByte47Author

When I first wrote this Fanfic, I had no clue how to properly pace and create a nice flow of a story. So I ended up with this trash heap. When I wrote chapter one I was half awake. It had no direction at all I just wanted to write something to cure my boredom and add a touch of creativity after or before my boring ass job. The end result was... The first volume is a ****ty mess. The second one was passable but had a lot of flaws. mainly being dragged on without a nice and steady flow. Some negative reviews you see here are mostly right. The first one being the MC changing his character to suit the situation. The scenes aren't described properly. It's mostly tell than showing, half of the scenes lack description and believability. The appearance of certain people we're abrupt and don't make sense. It's a straight up dumpster fire. Although it improved in time it's still in that limbo where I'm extremely unsatisfied. It became another rehashed sad past Harem boy who goes into another world bullcrap. That had small philsophy injected into it to make it feel mature and ****. And Apparently I use ellipses a lot. Like a **** ton. Volume two was where I got my groove on. Still feels lacking because it lacks punch. Some viewed it as boring, because of all the dragged on dialogues, But I found it a little more profound. Revealing character through dialogue. To each his own I guess. Near the end of the volume is where I found a steady pace of action and flow. From weeby Harem boy stardust crusader to an actual flawed character. The story I visualized was slowly taking shape. It was less of a Generic Harem Novel and more of the exploration of the human condition. A slightly unprofessional deconstruction of the harem genre. Also a far off vision of an extended universe. Then the vision was cut short. I got busier by the day took on more overtime. Got exhausted and quit my job. Got a new one slowed my pace down a little. Which eventually stopped me from churning more updates. Now a year later. I feel like I wanna give this one another try. Thanks for reading till the end. Hope you stick around to read the improved version.

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Reincarnated and traveling to another world, Eiji Seiya initially thought the world was normal. That was what he thought before he met the heroine and protagonist of the franchise he had watched in his previous life. Not only that, after he awakened the Inner Voice System to grow strong by complaining about plot, heroine and protagonist in his heart to get many rewards. He is determined to increase his power so that he can save his home world, the world where he was reincarnated that was hit by the disaster "Honkai" and save beautiful girls like Kiana, Mai, Bronya, Rita and others who had tragic endings in the original works! "I will save them all!" However... Everything went smoothly... Eiji earned rewards every time he changed the plot in another franchise. It's just that... What's wrong with these heroines? Lala Satalin Deviluke who was supposed to be engaged to the protagonist instead became his fiancée. Sona Sitri suddenly called him to the student council office and said she wanted to make a deal with him. Rias Gremory who was supposed to ask the protagonist for help to solve her political marriage problem with Riser Phenex inexplicably came to him. The girls were disgusted at the protagonists of their respective franchises. Something was wrong here! Not only that, heroines like Kotegawa Yui, Sairenji Haruna, Akeno Himejima, Kuroka, Serafall Leviathan, Grayfia Lucifuge, Sakurajima Mai, Ai Hoshino, Kasumigaoka Utaha and others... They like him! All the super beautiful and sexy women that many men in the world covet surround him and leave their respective protagonists. Grayfia even betrayed her husband. Eiji who saw all this was dumbfounded. At first he was confused as to why these heroines were surrounding him, but gradually he realized and knew that it was all happening because ... His inner voice! - The plot that has been changed by the MC: To Love Ru: 83% Highschool DxD: 82% Shinmai Maou no Testament: 92% Oregairu: 89% Saekano: 84% Oshi no Ko: 100% Rascal Does Not Dream Of Bunny Girl Senpai: 100% Mieruko-chan: 89% Trinity Seven: 38% This is the plot change process of the latest chapter and will change as the story progresses. By the way, the grammar at the beginning is bad and will improve as the chapter progresses. However, my writing style will not change much because this is an inner voice novel, which means that there will be many reactions from each character. Oh and in chapter hundreds there will be a group chat to prevent the loss of interaction between the heroines. It's a special chat group for the heroines in the MC's harem. - Get the latest chapters faster on my patreon. Support me on patreon to keep me motivated to write more chapters: www.patreon.com/DogLicker

DogLickerGods · Anime & Comics
4.7
621 Chs