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WitheredWill
WitheredWillLv65yr
2019-04-12 19:05

Giving my blessings for my fellow RWBY writer. I like the story, a lot! Good luck bro, and keep writing, don't give up. One more thing though, a request as a reader.... Give us MOAAARRR!! Lol 🤣

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Other Reviews
FrostByte47
FrostByte47Author

When I first wrote this Fanfic, I had no clue how to properly pace and create a nice flow of a story. So I ended up with this trash heap. When I wrote chapter one I was half awake. It had no direction at all I just wanted to write something to cure my boredom and add a touch of creativity after or before my boring ass job. The end result was... The first volume is a ****ty mess. The second one was passable but had a lot of flaws. mainly being dragged on without a nice and steady flow. Some negative reviews you see here are mostly right. The first one being the MC changing his character to suit the situation. The scenes aren't described properly. It's mostly tell than showing, half of the scenes lack description and believability. The appearance of certain people we're abrupt and don't make sense. It's a straight up dumpster fire. Although it improved in time it's still in that limbo where I'm extremely unsatisfied. It became another rehashed sad past Harem boy who goes into another world bullcrap. That had small philsophy injected into it to make it feel mature and ****. And Apparently I use ellipses a lot. Like a **** ton. Volume two was where I got my groove on. Still feels lacking because it lacks punch. Some viewed it as boring, because of all the dragged on dialogues, But I found it a little more profound. Revealing character through dialogue. To each his own I guess. Near the end of the volume is where I found a steady pace of action and flow. From weeby Harem boy stardust crusader to an actual flawed character. The story I visualized was slowly taking shape. It was less of a Generic Harem Novel and more of the exploration of the human condition. A slightly unprofessional deconstruction of the harem genre. Also a far off vision of an extended universe. Then the vision was cut short. I got busier by the day took on more overtime. Got exhausted and quit my job. Got a new one slowed my pace down a little. Which eventually stopped me from churning more updates. Now a year later. I feel like I wanna give this one another try. Thanks for reading till the end. Hope you stick around to read the improved version.

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Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.6
828 Chs