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phoenix_8888
phoenix_8888Lv155yr
2019-08-27 03:35

This is one of the very few original novels that I am speeding through especially for the first 50 chapters everything is happening so fast. It's not bad but it could be better. I feel like the novel is a self tutorial in writing a story as well as improving one's English language skills. The goal is nice however the reader ends up going through a trial and error exercise of grammar, sentence structure and requests for editing which at times the author ignores. There is stability of updates which I'm sure the readers appreciate. This novel will be in my library for now. However, I do advise the author that if the readers give constructive criticism e.g. repetition/carry forward of previous chapter to the next, please note and try to correct it. This would help you a lot. Take care.

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Poltt
PolttLv15

I understand this is the authors first story but some huge problems with it. First problem is reading story is like reading a instruction manual. Very dry and bland. No simalies or metaphors and all told in third person perspective. The author does get better as story goes on but no by much. Second problem is suppose to be meidevil age planet with magic but they the have bunch huge merchant families and trade of almost all resources witch did not happen until renaissance age. Then have all people pretty much serfs paying 80-90% of everything to nobles who rule them with iron first and most land unclaimed with beasts ruling it witch is dark ages before midevil ages. Then they have stuff like salt petter witch did not come until after renaissance since need advance chemistry for it. Biggest problem is the tech he puts out not even 10 chapters in and he already making factories to create modern guns and steam engines. I don't think author realizes that technology is acumlitive. You cannot build a gun without advanced metallurgy, advanced chemistry, boring instruments, rifling, and 30 or 40 other technologies witch they do not have. Like taking stairs up a building you cannot jump from first floor to the 68th floor without going through all floors before it. There is no possible or way that a world that does not even have technological advancements of cross bows is making guns. Even if you know how to would take month to years just to make all the tools and instruments to make the guns. No less the nitter, coal, steel and other techs they would not have. Don't think author even realizes that people did not know how to process coal till beginning of industrial age. You cannot just use coal how is when mined. Even cooking was so much different. There would be next to no way to make most modern dishes back then cause they did not have stoves.

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