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Doomey
DoomeyLv45yr
2019-02-22 13:31

I really like this novel and its world development but at the same time it feels linear and theirs not much character development, like the author doesnt go into detail about the people and why the mc is so trustable I feel like the mc should be recruiting people to join his company with contracts and something to tie them all in he should know that the world is dog eat dog and he cant trust anyone. I just dont understand how he can just give out all his ideas like trash especially guns when he might get into disputes with the barons and lords. I feel like this novel is being rushed too much and the author needs to take his time more to develop the town and explain it day by day.

Liked by 5 people

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Replies2
autistic25
autistic25Author

i will take this into consideration. you see the characters will develop slowly so it might seem shallow at start.

yoohime
yoohimeLv6

as long as u accept warmly the input from others... no doubt u will become great author someday... goodjob... i like your novel

Other Reviews
Poltt
PolttLv15

I understand this is the authors first story but some huge problems with it. First problem is reading story is like reading a instruction manual. Very dry and bland. No simalies or metaphors and all told in third person perspective. The author does get better as story goes on but no by much. Second problem is suppose to be meidevil age planet with magic but they the have bunch huge merchant families and trade of almost all resources witch did not happen until renaissance age. Then have all people pretty much serfs paying 80-90% of everything to nobles who rule them with iron first and most land unclaimed with beasts ruling it witch is dark ages before midevil ages. Then they have stuff like salt petter witch did not come until after renaissance since need advance chemistry for it. Biggest problem is the tech he puts out not even 10 chapters in and he already making factories to create modern guns and steam engines. I don't think author realizes that technology is acumlitive. You cannot build a gun without advanced metallurgy, advanced chemistry, boring instruments, rifling, and 30 or 40 other technologies witch they do not have. Like taking stairs up a building you cannot jump from first floor to the 68th floor without going through all floors before it. There is no possible or way that a world that does not even have technological advancements of cross bows is making guns. Even if you know how to would take month to years just to make all the tools and instruments to make the guns. No less the nitter, coal, steel and other techs they would not have. Don't think author even realizes that people did not know how to process coal till beginning of industrial age. You cannot just use coal how is when mined. Even cooking was so much different. There would be next to no way to make most modern dishes back then cause they did not have stoves.

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