webnovel
xcares
xcaresLv66yr
2019-03-14 03:03

Awkward wording/story/characters etc. It should be 1 star but i like the "system" type described. Author should improve his/her English before attempting to write a novel. Trash translators might get away with bad English but an author should not waste his time on a language he can't use. Hope the author keeps improving on all accounts and will successfully implement his idea in the future.

Liked by 11 people

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Replies4
GodEndra
GodEndraLv3

You have only read to chapter 2. Way too early of a judgement

xcares
xcaresLv6

Should i submit myself to this failed attempt for a few more chapters? Will the author's English progress fast enough? Why? Just rewrite the whole thing when it is passable. No.Rewrite the thing when his English is GOOD ENOUGH.

GodEndra:You have only read to chapter 2. Way too early of a judgement
GodEndra
GodEndraLv3

Then find yourself some premium novels. You won't be finding perfect grammar in free novels.

xcares:Should i submit myself to this failed attempt for a few more chapters? Will the author's English progress fast enough? Why? Just rewrite the whole thing when it is passable. No.Rewrite the thing when his English is GOOD ENOUGH.
xcares
xcaresLv6

The point is that one should properly use the language BEFORE beginning to write. Claiming otherwise is stupid.Just stupid

GodEndra:Then find yourself some premium novels. You won't be finding perfect grammar in free novels.
Other Reviews
Poltt
PolttLv15

I understand this is the authors first story but some huge problems with it. First problem is reading story is like reading a instruction manual. Very dry and bland. No simalies or metaphors and all told in third person perspective. The author does get better as story goes on but no by much. Second problem is suppose to be meidevil age planet with magic but they the have bunch huge merchant families and trade of almost all resources witch did not happen until renaissance age. Then have all people pretty much serfs paying 80-90% of everything to nobles who rule them with iron first and most land unclaimed with beasts ruling it witch is dark ages before midevil ages. Then they have stuff like salt petter witch did not come until after renaissance since need advance chemistry for it. Biggest problem is the tech he puts out not even 10 chapters in and he already making factories to create modern guns and steam engines. I don't think author realizes that technology is acumlitive. You cannot build a gun without advanced metallurgy, advanced chemistry, boring instruments, rifling, and 30 or 40 other technologies witch they do not have. Like taking stairs up a building you cannot jump from first floor to the 68th floor without going through all floors before it. There is no possible or way that a world that does not even have technological advancements of cross bows is making guns. Even if you know how to would take month to years just to make all the tools and instruments to make the guns. No less the nitter, coal, steel and other techs they would not have. Don't think author even realizes that people did not know how to process coal till beginning of industrial age. You cannot just use coal how is when mined. Even cooking was so much different. There would be next to no way to make most modern dishes back then cause they did not have stoves.

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