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LATIOS
LATIOSLv32yr
2022-05-28 22:16

I love it i love it so much (°∆° i have been reading it for the past 2 days now becous i am really doing details and stuff and i loved it so much keep doing what you do best writter

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JabaRune
JabaRuneLv11

As someone that reads a lot of translated novels, I'm pretty tolerant towards bad grammar, poorly formatted sentences, weird usages of words and poor writing in general, but reading this novel made me want to scream. It's a shame because I like what's going on in the story and I really want to keep reading, to know what happens next, but I just can't stand how badly written it is. There is constant redundancy. Transition words and other unnecessary words are everywhere. I guess I'll just give an example. This is from the prologue, which is already better written than the regular chapters: "Dana always felt like that living such a ****** life was not meant for her and that she wanted something more, something which could make her blood boil. She didn't fulfil her parents wish in going to university getting a law degree and taking over the family's law firm, and it led to her current status as women in her mid-thirties who hasn't developed a serious relationship once in her life. Although being beautiful has gotten Dana many suitors over the years, as she could never make herself to settle down and start a family as it comes at the sacrifice of her current adventurous lifestyle to cease, which for Dana wasn't something she was willing to accept." Now look how many fewer words there are while retaining the same meaning and level of detail: "Her parents wanted her to get a law degree and take over the family's law firm, but such a ****** life wasn't meant for her. She wanted something more, something to make her blood boil. Despite being beautiful and having many suitors, she was never willing to sacrifice her adventurous lifestyle to developed a serious relationship. Even now, in her mid-thirties, she wasn't ready to settle down and have a family." The worst thing about all of this is that the author's comments (that I've read) are perfectly legible. You're obviously competent enough, so why are you making me sift through garbage to get the story? I can't comment much on the character, plot and world development because I couldn't make it past chapter 6, but so far they seem fine. I hope the author doesn't give up. P.S. 'so' and 'therefore' mean the same damn thing. Stop putting both of them right next to each other at the start of a sentence.

HatsyCrow
HatsyCrowLv4
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