webnovel
Procrastinate
ProcrastinateLv116yr
2018-11-17 13:34

Rushed cliche revenge with no point Mentaly retarded characters and dip sh it Mc ................. . . .v.v.. .v.v. . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . .

Liked by 11 people

LIKE
Replies13
lazyleo
lazyleoLv7

Revenge with no point? Someone murdered your family and you wouldn't wanna take revenge? You sure are a saint bro if that's what you think. And how is mc retarded?

Procrastinate
ProcrastinateLv11

He could have saved his fam if he just said his dad shouldnt HAVE told the clan head he even thought it was a bad idea but then said well let's just not say sh it and kill my whole family

lazyleo:Revenge with no point? Someone murdered your family and you wouldn't wanna take revenge? You sure are a saint bro if that's what you think. And how is mc retarded?
lazyleo
lazyleoLv7

Clan head was not the who leaked the info about his Azure Dragon Spirit, it was one of Spirit Hall's spies or one of his uncles who were present at the awakening ceremony so your point is invalid. As for saving his, he just came to an unknown world where he didn't know that someone might massacre his whole clan just because of his higher potential.

Procrastinate:He could have saved his fam if he just said his dad shouldnt HAVE told the clan head he even thought it was a bad idea but then said well let's just not say sh it and kill my whole family
Monarch_
Monarch_Lv5

Yeah but the thing is that this guy is too clouded with revenges and because of it no reader can relate to him. And because of this revenge this, which is understandable, he is manipulating his own friends to become HIS vision of what he wants them to be. In fact he’s so unreasonable that when RONGRONG INITIATES the fight with Mu Bai, Ryusei says that he would kill his years long friend just because he got angry and for a good reason too

lazyleo
lazyleoLv7

Then what do you want him do other than avenging his family? His grandfather, his father, his mother whom he loved very much brutally murdered in front of his eyes. He was left all alone in a unknown world with no one depend on. Do you expect him to live somewhere cowardly and forget about everything? His personality changed bcoz of this incident, he had to change to survive and keep himself from breaking down under despair of his clan's murder. As for manipulating his friends, he worked hard in training them only to find Mubai threatening Rongrong to kill her. Why? Because she teased him a bit. If your friends teased you a bit would you give death threats to them? She didn't say that she would kill him, no she just teased him jokingly and Mubai wanted to kill her for that, why? Then what's wrong with mc threatening him to keep him in line? Everyone has their own free will to choose whether they want to support him or not. It's not he's forcing anyone. He just wanted them to be united as a team. Sometimes imagine yourself in mc's shoes first before coming to a conclusion. He is still alive just for his revenge, otherwise he would have already died either during the massacre or in the forest. He would slowly open up again, start to live again when his burden is gone, when he feels safe.

Monarch_:Yeah but the thing is that this guy is too clouded with revenges and because of it no reader can relate to him. And because of this revenge this, which is understandable, he is manipulating his own friends to become HIS vision of what he wants them to be. In fact he’s so unreasonable that when RONGRONG INITIATES the fight with Mu Bai, Ryusei says that he would kill his years long friend just because he got angry and for a good reason too
Monarch_
Monarch_Lv5

Ok first of all when is this burden going to leave?? When he’s twenty ?? When he’s thirty??? No matter what, he is going to lose a precious and beautiful part of his life during his stupid revenge. Even in the original universe, despite Tang SAN’s drive for revenge he was actually able to surround himself with real friends and mentors who showered him with and who he never threatened to kill. So even if his revenge took a long time, it did not take away from the happy years of his life. Do you think the mc can do this at the rate he’s going?? HELL NAHH!!! Buddy he apparently stayed with his “brothers” for years and only smiled from the bottom of his heat twice!! Do you get how weird that is??? I admit seeing your loved ones die is a VERY TRAUMATIC experience and I expect him to be a LOT less cheerful and with a completely different personality then before. HOWEVER, smiling only twice with ur new family??!! That’s just wrong and not true at all. The MC is clearly focusing too much on the death of his family and not on what he has right now. Now let me move on to my most disliked part of the book, his death threat to Mubai. So before I say anything let me just remind you that he lived with Mubai for YEARS. That’s roughly the same amount of time as he spent with his blood family. Now on the other hand we have the arrogant stuck up, ally of the spirit hall RONGRONG who he has only met TWICE. And he did not even keep a basic promise to her. That’s the extent of their relationship and it should be COMPETELY different from his relationship to Mubai. BUT NOOOO... when RONGRONG starts the fight and Mubai attacks back in response the mc GENUINELY threatens to kill Mubai. HOW IS THAT NOT STUPID??!!! I mean unlike the mc, Mubai does not even have the power to kill RONGRONG while living in shrek (which has a rank 76 and 82 spirit master protecting them).!!!!! In that way what Mubai essentially said was to BACKK OFF HIS BUSSINNESS. RONGRONG doesn’t even have a relationship with MUBAI for long and she’s already teasing him??? That’s completely her fault!! But my dear mc is so disappointed with that that he consider actually killing him. Don’t say u don’t find that stupid. Not only that, the smart mc never explicitly told Mubai that oh I am training You to help me fight the biggest influence on the planet so be nice. All Mubai knows is that they are in the same academy and possibly friends tho I wouldn’t be sure of that last one. So why is the mc acting like he is so dissappointed with Mubai?? That’s just annoying. Lastly I am just gonna end this by saying this: no matter what ur circumstances or ur situation you should NEVER EVER manipulate your own friends!!

lazyleo:Then what do you want him do other than avenging his family? His grandfather, his father, his mother whom he loved very much brutally murdered in front of his eyes. He was left all alone in a unknown world with no one depend on. Do you expect him to live somewhere cowardly and forget about everything? His personality changed bcoz of this incident, he had to change to survive and keep himself from breaking down under despair of his clan's murder. As for manipulating his friends, he worked hard in training them only to find Mubai threatening Rongrong to kill her. Why? Because she teased him a bit. If your friends teased you a bit would you give death threats to them? She didn't say that she would kill him, no she just teased him jokingly and Mubai wanted to kill her for that, why? Then what's wrong with mc threatening him to keep him in line? Everyone has their own free will to choose whether they want to support him or not. It's not he's forcing anyone. He just wanted them to be united as a team. Sometimes imagine yourself in mc's shoes first before coming to a conclusion. He is still alive just for his revenge, otherwise he would have already died either during the massacre or in the forest. He would slowly open up again, start to live again when his burden is gone, when he feels safe.
Monarch_
Monarch_Lv5

Also by the way, if you really want to see a good revenge story that I approve of, pleas read Monarch if Heavens wrath

lazyleo:Then what do you want him do other than avenging his family? His grandfather, his father, his mother whom he loved very much brutally murdered in front of his eyes. He was left all alone in a unknown world with no one depend on. Do you expect him to live somewhere cowardly and forget about everything? His personality changed bcoz of this incident, he had to change to survive and keep himself from breaking down under despair of his clan's murder. As for manipulating his friends, he worked hard in training them only to find Mubai threatening Rongrong to kill her. Why? Because she teased him a bit. If your friends teased you a bit would you give death threats to them? She didn't say that she would kill him, no she just teased him jokingly and Mubai wanted to kill her for that, why? Then what's wrong with mc threatening him to keep him in line? Everyone has their own free will to choose whether they want to support him or not. It's not he's forcing anyone. He just wanted them to be united as a team. Sometimes imagine yourself in mc's shoes first before coming to a conclusion. He is still alive just for his revenge, otherwise he would have already died either during the massacre or in the forest. He would slowly open up again, start to live again when his burden is gone, when he feels safe.
lazyleo
lazyleoLv7

First of all don't mix Tang San with mc as everyone has different personality and thought process so what Tang San might not be the same as what mc would do. Secondly Tang San never lived with his mother so he his feeling towards her were not as deep as mc so him not actively seeking revenge is his way of doing things. Secondly, don't mix the original Rongrong with this novel's Rongrong coz their personalities are different. She didn't threatened Mubai to kill him but Mubai did. Mc too only threatened but actually do it. His relationship with is deep bcoz he sees his childhood friend in her so that's that. He never actively manipulated anyone, he trained them for his selfishness that I agree but never forced them to help him in his revenge. Tang San's story might have turned with all roses & flowers but mc has his own perspective on things so his path will be different as well. You don't like that path that's your choice. And after his revenge is done he will calm down. Tang San had his father's support which mc didn't have so he has to do everything himself. Tang San built Tang Sect with four branch clan of Tang clan what does mc have? There are many revenge stories that are way darker than this so there's nothing wrong with little bit of darkness. A person with broken heart and detached personality can't enjoy his life. The people he wanted to enjoy with are gone. Its not like he's completely devoid of emotions, he just doesn't show them that's all. Not smiling doesn't mean that he doesn't care about them. If he didn't then he wouldn't have saved them in Star Dou Forest. He wouldn't have helped them training. He won't even bother them too much in the upcoming chapters.

Monarch_:Ok first of all when is this burden going to leave?? When he’s twenty ?? When he’s thirty??? No matter what, he is going to lose a precious and beautiful part of his life during his stupid revenge. Even in the original universe, despite Tang SAN’s drive for revenge he was actually able to surround himself with real friends and mentors who showered him with and who he never threatened to kill. So even if his revenge took a long time, it did not take away from the happy years of his life. Do you think the mc can do this at the rate he’s going?? HELL NAHH!!! Buddy he apparently stayed with his “brothers” for years and only smiled from the bottom of his heat twice!! Do you get how weird that is??? I admit seeing your loved ones die is a VERY TRAUMATIC experience and I expect him to be a LOT less cheerful and with a completely different personality then before. HOWEVER, smiling only twice with ur new family??!! That’s just wrong and not true at all. The MC is clearly focusing too much on the death of his family and not on what he has right now. Now let me move on to my most disliked part of the book, his death threat to Mubai. So before I say anything let me just remind you that he lived with Mubai for YEARS. That’s roughly the same amount of time as he spent with his blood family. Now on the other hand we have the arrogant stuck up, ally of the spirit hall RONGRONG who he has only met TWICE. And he did not even keep a basic promise to her. That’s the extent of their relationship and it should be COMPETELY different from his relationship to Mubai. BUT NOOOO... when RONGRONG starts the fight and Mubai attacks back in response the mc GENUINELY threatens to kill Mubai. HOW IS THAT NOT STUPID??!!! I mean unlike the mc, Mubai does not even have the power to kill RONGRONG while living in shrek (which has a rank 76 and 82 spirit master protecting them).!!!!! In that way what Mubai essentially said was to BACKK OFF HIS BUSSINNESS. RONGRONG doesn’t even have a relationship with MUBAI for long and she’s already teasing him??? That’s completely her fault!! But my dear mc is so disappointed with that that he consider actually killing him. Don’t say u don’t find that stupid. Not only that, the smart mc never explicitly told Mubai that oh I am training You to help me fight the biggest influence on the planet so be nice. All Mubai knows is that they are in the same academy and possibly friends tho I wouldn’t be sure of that last one. So why is the mc acting like he is so dissappointed with Mubai?? That’s just annoying. Lastly I am just gonna end this by saying this: no matter what ur circumstances or ur situation you should NEVER EVER manipulate your own friends!!
Monarch_
Monarch_Lv5

Ok my turn now (By the way I am loving this back and forth): 1. you’re right, everyone has different thought processes and ways they behave, but that doesn’t mean one is entitled to a happy childhood and the other is not. That’s what I meant when I said tang san was able to surround himself with a new family. He was able to get the happy life he naturally deserved as a child but the way mc is doing things, he will never be able to experience that happy childhood 2. What u said about tang sans mother and their relationship is a good point however that doesn’t change my arguement. Just because u have experienced something traumatic doesn’t mean that u can completely isolate urself from real life and pursue your revenge. So even if the Mac experienced something more traumatic, he should not just have no friends and live for revenge. 3. What do u mean dont mix the two Rongrong??!!! They’re exactly the same!! The little brat only had 1 meeting with the mc and now she’s no longer arrogant or stuck up??!! That’s VERY far fetched. I mean the meeting was not even that long. Did not even last day so what do u even mean by that 4. Yah she didn’t threaten Mubai, but she sure as hell intervened when she shouldn’t have. I mean look at her. She just joined an academy and then she tries to taunt her senior by many years that she does not know much, and who she currently does not have a good relationship with for no reason other then entertainment??!! BRAT ALERT!!!! 5. Ok look there’s clear evidence in the book if Mubai, the VICTIM, did not back down, the mc would have straight up kill him there. And due to his personality and ability there’s no way ANYONE would misunderstand that as anything less then what he said. 6. I don’t remember that part so I won’t rebuke it, but still so what if he sees a childhood friend in her. He’s known Mubai for a lot longer time and he should not give him up just because he saw his itty bitty best friend in the other persons eyes. That’s stupid and illogical. 7. So it’s good that u agree. You know what I would have been fine if he kept on doing this as nobody’s perfect and I acknowledge that. HOWEVR, the mc acted like Mubai had ALREADY agreed in some contract to kill the spirit hall and now he was disappointing him. Read the chapter that’s exactly what happened and it’s SO infuriating 8. Hey I don’t have any problem with the path the mc has chosen, just the way he goes through it annoys me. I guess the best way to explain this is that there’s no stability to his actions. He has people who love him but he doesn’t love them back. He is amazingly op but he’s not doing anything truly useful with his power. Not only that he already essentially have two wives but he is only focused on revenge??!! So complicated and weird. 9. What do u mean the mc doesn’t have tang san’s father’s support??? He got more support from him already then tang san did!! And the four clan guys would also essentially support the mc because they support tang san. And the clans did not even help tang san that much anyways. 10. You’re right they’re a lot more revenge stories darker then this... I have read them and I enjoyed them, but their mc’s actions always made sense and they carried the revenge theme well. You did not have a world like doulou in which the only bad thing was spirit hall. No the whole world was complicated and it positively accentuated the revenge theme in the story. The dark revenge theme in doulou however does not fit well at all as rn the mc is like the evil wolf in a house full of innocent sheep. 9. Your last point is confusing as hell. So he can’t enjoy the world but he is enjoying it??!! Look the mc already said he only trained his ‘friends’ as tools and doesn’t give a crap about them( if thats what u mean).

lazyleo:First of all don't mix Tang San with mc as everyone has different personality and thought process so what Tang San might not be the same as what mc would do. Secondly Tang San never lived with his mother so he his feeling towards her were not as deep as mc so him not actively seeking revenge is his way of doing things. Secondly, don't mix the original Rongrong with this novel's Rongrong coz their personalities are different. She didn't threatened Mubai to kill him but Mubai did. Mc too only threatened but actually do it. His relationship with is deep bcoz he sees his childhood friend in her so that's that. He never actively manipulated anyone, he trained them for his selfishness that I agree but never forced them to help him in his revenge. Tang San's story might have turned with all roses & flowers but mc has his own perspective on things so his path will be different as well. You don't like that path that's your choice. And after his revenge is done he will calm down. Tang San had his father's support which mc didn't have so he has to do everything himself. Tang San built Tang Sect with four branch clan of Tang clan what does mc have? There are many revenge stories that are way darker than this so there's nothing wrong with little bit of darkness. A person with broken heart and detached personality can't enjoy his life. The people he wanted to enjoy with are gone. Its not like he's completely devoid of emotions, he just doesn't show them that's all. Not smiling doesn't mean that he doesn't care about them. If he didn't then he wouldn't have saved them in Star Dou Forest. He wouldn't have helped them training. He won't even bother them too much in the upcoming chapters.
Monarch_
Monarch_Lv5

Also I just want to say this. Despite whatever I Amy say about the story, is till respect the author for all the work he has put in this story and how good he is at writing.

lazyleo:First of all don't mix Tang San with mc as everyone has different personality and thought process so what Tang San might not be the same as what mc would do. Secondly Tang San never lived with his mother so he his feeling towards her were not as deep as mc so him not actively seeking revenge is his way of doing things. Secondly, don't mix the original Rongrong with this novel's Rongrong coz their personalities are different. She didn't threatened Mubai to kill him but Mubai did. Mc too only threatened but actually do it. His relationship with is deep bcoz he sees his childhood friend in her so that's that. He never actively manipulated anyone, he trained them for his selfishness that I agree but never forced them to help him in his revenge. Tang San's story might have turned with all roses & flowers but mc has his own perspective on things so his path will be different as well. You don't like that path that's your choice. And after his revenge is done he will calm down. Tang San had his father's support which mc didn't have so he has to do everything himself. Tang San built Tang Sect with four branch clan of Tang clan what does mc have? There are many revenge stories that are way darker than this so there's nothing wrong with little bit of darkness. A person with broken heart and detached personality can't enjoy his life. The people he wanted to enjoy with are gone. Its not like he's completely devoid of emotions, he just doesn't show them that's all. Not smiling doesn't mean that he doesn't care about them. If he didn't then he wouldn't have saved them in Star Dou Forest. He wouldn't have helped them training. He won't even bother them too much in the upcoming chapters.
lazyleo
lazyleoLv7

Haha, I too am liking this back and forth. It's quite rare that someone would reply to my argument logically without cursing me for once. Now as for Tang Hao supporting mc, that's true. But what I'm talking about is a moral support of his father since the beginning. Mc being a detective also played a part in molding his personality the he is. He never really trusts anyone or tries to avoid making friends due to his calculative mind of a detective. That's also the reason for his behaviour with in shrek. Rongrong might have been a ***** in the original but she will play a major supporting role for mc in this novel. And when did he have two girls? If you're counting Zhu Zhuqing then don't coz her pairing with Mubai is not gonna change. And lastly, he will change his personality but slowly with due time so don't worry about it. He still considers Tang Hao and Tang San his family so he's not completely detached, he just needs time to heal himself and he won't just be a stuck up bast@rd. In next 2-3 chapters, story is going to diverge from the original so that might interest you more.

Monarch_:Ok my turn now (By the way I am loving this back and forth): 1. you’re right, everyone has different thought processes and ways they behave, but that doesn’t mean one is entitled to a happy childhood and the other is not. That’s what I meant when I said tang san was able to surround himself with a new family. He was able to get the happy life he naturally deserved as a child but the way mc is doing things, he will never be able to experience that happy childhood 2. What u said about tang sans mother and their relationship is a good point however that doesn’t change my arguement. Just because u have experienced something traumatic doesn’t mean that u can completely isolate urself from real life and pursue your revenge. So even if the Mac experienced something more traumatic, he should not just have no friends and live for revenge. 3. What do u mean dont mix the two Rongrong??!!! They’re exactly the same!! The little brat only had 1 meeting with the mc and now she’s no longer arrogant or stuck up??!! That’s VERY far fetched. I mean the meeting was not even that long. Did not even last day so what do u even mean by that 4. Yah she didn’t threaten Mubai, but she sure as hell intervened when she shouldn’t have. I mean look at her. She just joined an academy and then she tries to taunt her senior by many years that she does not know much, and who she currently does not have a good relationship with for no reason other then entertainment??!! BRAT ALERT!!!! 5. Ok look there’s clear evidence in the book if Mubai, the VICTIM, did not back down, the mc would have straight up kill him there. And due to his personality and ability there’s no way ANYONE would misunderstand that as anything less then what he said. 6. I don’t remember that part so I won’t rebuke it, but still so what if he sees a childhood friend in her. He’s known Mubai for a lot longer time and he should not give him up just because he saw his itty bitty best friend in the other persons eyes. That’s stupid and illogical. 7. So it’s good that u agree. You know what I would have been fine if he kept on doing this as nobody’s perfect and I acknowledge that. HOWEVR, the mc acted like Mubai had ALREADY agreed in some contract to kill the spirit hall and now he was disappointing him. Read the chapter that’s exactly what happened and it’s SO infuriating 8. Hey I don’t have any problem with the path the mc has chosen, just the way he goes through it annoys me. I guess the best way to explain this is that there’s no stability to his actions. He has people who love him but he doesn’t love them back. He is amazingly op but he’s not doing anything truly useful with his power. Not only that he already essentially have two wives but he is only focused on revenge??!! So complicated and weird. 9. What do u mean the mc doesn’t have tang san’s father’s support??? He got more support from him already then tang san did!! And the four clan guys would also essentially support the mc because they support tang san. And the clans did not even help tang san that much anyways. 10. You’re right they’re a lot more revenge stories darker then this... I have read them and I enjoyed them, but their mc’s actions always made sense and they carried the revenge theme well. You did not have a world like doulou in which the only bad thing was spirit hall. No the whole world was complicated and it positively accentuated the revenge theme in the story. The dark revenge theme in doulou however does not fit well at all as rn the mc is like the evil wolf in a house full of innocent sheep. 9. Your last point is confusing as hell. So he can’t enjoy the world but he is enjoying it??!! Look the mc already said he only trained his ‘friends’ as tools and doesn’t give a crap about them( if thats what u mean).
Shadow_Ahjin
Shadow_AhjinLv4

Shadow_Ahjin
Shadow_AhjinLv4

I like this kind of argument, each side has valid reasons to debate each other in their own perspectives so I respect that soooo.... don't mind me

Other Reviews
Monarch_
Monarch_Lv5

So let me break down why I gave this review: Writing Quality: The authors writing quality is decent. It’s not making me gag, but at the same time it’s not the best writing I have ever seen. As such it’s a decent three for writing. Stability of Updats: The only reason I gave this a four is because honestly I don’t know how fast he updates, all I know is that he does. For me that at least warrants a four star. Story Development: This is where the story really starts disappointing me, like most other fan-fictions do. First of all the MC is far too OP. He is a rank 57 when he is what 12 and his true combat ability is even better then that. The only advantage he has is his strong spirit and his previous memories yet he learnt the art of hidden weapons by HIMSELF WND better then the genius tang san. HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE. Not only that, I fee like Ryusei is almost the same as Tang SAN. Spirit Hall killed his parents, he treats tang hao as a father figure and he is in shriek academy. That’s not even the end of my complaints. I mean why is the author shipping with essentially every female in the Shrek academy. I don’t even get that!!! One of my favourites part of the original novel was Rong Rong and Oscars love story but now as a twelve year old she is already dreaming of making him her husband. And just a small portion of my complaints. Character Design: The character design is even worse than the story development. I mean one of the most fundamental responsibilities of an author is to make the reader relate to the MC but this author seems to be doing the opposite. At first Ryusei was too soft and ***** which I honestly did not mind as it was a good change of pace for me. BUT THEN THE SPIRIT HALL ATTACKED. Now the guy seems to be constantly going through puberty and is extremely unreasonable. He is the main reason that I can’t even bear to finish the story, though I did get pretty deep into it already. Finally the world design: What can I even give this??? This is a fan fiction and up-till now the author has not added anything new to the world that would push up the rating to a three or four star. Overall the story really only deserves a two star.

Related Stories