The first 100 chapters were fine. A few bits that made it obvious author was finding their feet with the writing, pacing etc. A good mix of character growth, leveling up, fighting, etc. Pretty much what I was expecting. But then. Oh dear god. It's almost like the author's bad-romance-obsessed twin took over or something. A *hard* veer into pure fluffy harem land that's lasted about a full length novel. Holy cow. It's the literary equivalent of trying to finish a bottomless chocolate milkshake. Nice when it's accompanying a good steak or burger, but after a while you get a brain freeze and go into a diabetic coma. That was about 30 chapter ago, and it *just won't stop*. Not to mention, the harem just keeps growing. I'm not sure why the author has the MC trying to go the Solomon route (1000 wives and concubines) but that seems to be the case. So instead of legit character development with some sort of defined story-arc, it just blends together in this repetitive merry-go-round of dates, fooling-around, and an occasional bit of (not very good) emotional drama. It's like watching a bad soap-opera. I have no idea why or how the author thought this might be a good idea, beyond possibly catering to a patreon base which can't pick a best girl (or three-five) and instead gave us *this*. When it's harder to keep track of your characters than in George R.R. Martin's ASoIaF, you've messed up. We passed that territory dozens of chapters back, and *just kept going*. After a while, it looked like the author had recognized that problem and was going to (finally) bring things back in to the story I started reading. Even the characters were discussing how this story-line had become the literary equivalent of a cultivation novel's heart-devil. But no, it was just an excuse to focus on *yet another* "best girl". I'm also unsure if the author has spoken to a girl. I'm not exactly the moral champion of monogamy, but poly relationships are like chemistry; any reaction which requires more than three individual (molecules) coming into contact at a time gets *very* improbable, and adding people is an exponential issue rather than a linear one. In other words, finding the right(ish) girl? 1 in, say, 20. Two of them? 1 in 400. More? How much are you going to strain our belief... ... Not to mention scheduling issues. Even if they double up they'd get less than a night a week. Love's not an assembly line, and if you think it is I shudder for any partners you might have. At this point, I'm scrolling through, hoping to find the end of this interminable harem bonanza before my patience with the story evaporates entirely. I am impressed by the sheer quantity the author has managed. But perhaps a bit more thought into the story itself would keep the quality a bit higher. The author is capable of it, or at least managed a full novel's worth of it. By sheer fluke seems unlikely, but I wouldn't dispute it if someone said it was written by someone other than the more recent parts. I'd like that first part, the part that's kept me going through chapter after chapter of this rom-trash, to come back.
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LIKEOh, and if someone wants to spoiler if/approximately where the story stops being harem-bloat writing, I'd appreciate it.
Mmm, you can try to start from chapter 430. You would miss a lot of major plot developments, but there is a big shift in the story from that point on. There are still a lot of girls in the 'harem', but maybe it would be preferable and more enjoyable for you. As for a lot of the things you said in your review, I can't quite agree with them and the general consensus goes against what you said. However, as the main theme seemed to be that you weren't fond of the rather large harem, that is something I can understand. I've complained about it myself numerous times, but I've also gone into detail building the relationships and explaining why they work the way they do. Besides, no matter how many metaphors you use comparing something to reality, this novel is fiction, not the real world xD. As a side note, I'd advise you against saying unnecessarily rude things, especially if it's addressed towards a person you've never met, or even tried to understand. That is just blatant disregard for civility and you'd be better served to show your bare ass in public if you're just looking for attention. I've traveled the world and served in the military for more than my fair share of years and, during that time, I've seen and experienced things your monitor will never let you experience in any real capacity. You calling into question if I've ever 'spoken to a girl' is just fucking stupid. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you man? Well, I said my piece. Good luck and, if you can't enjoy the story you should have just moved on. Making this type of review, ignoring the actual purpose of the system, is just lashing out and complaining. I'm confident you'll find a novel you enjoy, so read the tags next time and save yourself the effort of whatever this was meant to be. The story might not have been for you, but a lot of people enjoy the thing you went out of your way to insult. That is a ****** truth.
Dear sir if I remeber correctly didn't you say something about people personal life before not once or twice but like over 3 to 4 times already. There an old western saying, "it like the pot calling the Kettle black"
Einlion:Mmm, you can try to start from chapter 430. You would miss a lot of major plot developments, but there is a big shift in the story from that point on. There are still a lot of girls in the 'harem', but maybe it would be preferable and more enjoyable for you. As for a lot of the things you said in your review, I can't quite agree with them and the general consensus goes against what you said. However, as the main theme seemed to be that you weren't fond of the rather large harem, that is something I can understand. I've complained about it myself numerous times, but I've also gone into detail building the relationships and explaining why they work the way they do. Besides, no matter how many metaphors you use comparing something to reality, this novel is fiction, not the real world xD. As a side note, I'd advise you against saying unnecessarily rude things, especially if it's addressed towards a person you've never met, or even tried to understand. That is just blatant disregard for civility and you'd be better served to show your bare ass in public if you're just looking for attention. I've traveled the world and served in the military for more than my fair share of years and, during that time, I've seen and experienced things your monitor will never let you experience in any real capacity. You calling into question if I've ever 'spoken to a girl' is just fucking stupid. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you man? Well, I said my piece. Good luck and, if you can't enjoy the story you should have just moved on. Making this type of review, ignoring the actual purpose of the system, is just lashing out and complaining. I'm confident you'll find a novel you enjoy, so read the tags next time and save yourself the effort of whatever this was meant to be. The story might not have been for you, but a lot of people enjoy the thing you went out of your way to insult. That is a ****** truth.
There are also sayings about people who speak for others in situations that have nothing to do with them. There are quite a few, almost none in a positive light o3o. What did you come here to accomplish?
Sinsaretegreatest:Dear sir if I remeber correctly didn't you say something about people personal life before not once or twice but like over 3 to 4 times already. There an old western saying, "it like the pot calling the Kettle black"
I have seen this multiple times and I agree with what you have said and I think the author is avoiding reading this since he would get butt hurt and start a argument about how you are biased and things similar
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Starting a battle of arguments with someone like him is useless. Even if he tried I would just ignore him. He lost my respect as an author and reader when he forcefully try to silence my words.
Polochampion:I have seen this multiple times and I agree with what you have said and I think the author is avoiding reading this since he would get butt hurt and start a argument about how you are biased and things similar
My original review was longer and also consisted of several comments where I continued what I couldn't put into the normal review.
Polochampion:I have seen this multiple times and I agree with what you have said and I think the author is avoiding reading this since he would get butt hurt and start a argument about how you are biased and things similar
I actually enjoyed the story...😓 mind you, I stopped reading it in the 900’s. 🤭🥱due to boredom... but I probably suffer from some kind of attention deficit disorder (I either binge watch or jump ship) I agree with much of what you said. The thing is, this is a fanfic of a story that had a fully developed cast of characters and a well established world development in place. (All of which I know nothing about sense I never touched the original 😗) As such, I would imagine the purpose of the story is precisely what the author accomplished with this work. He wrote a lemon love story for self gratification, borrowing the ingredients of a preexisting, popular storyline and fan base. His completely original content was never meant to take main stage. I haven’t read this story for quite a stretch of time so I may have a faulty recollection as to the degree in which I enjoyed it, but I do remember thinking that it was interesting. It was also the first story of its kind I had ever read, specifically where the harem grows beyond the MC and transforms his identity from the player to the toy. I found the concept intriguing. I also had the misfortune to learn that a MC of such a story can be too preoccupied with the more envy inducing elements to make any progress in the story plot. Very few stories have characters of great depth and originality. Most stories use preconceived notions and stereotypes to expedite the creative process. This, too, takes a lot of pressure off the author and allows for the story to flow more easily... this is a tool for the author. Tools, while generic, are well tested, tried and true. If one is looking for something original they should probably look elsewhere since a fanfic is typically just barely considered a professional work, and by its nature they are unoriginal.
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I was not supposed to know what you pointed out to me? Since when is a fanfic original? What I pointed out in my review was the author's shortcomings of working with pre-existing characters. You can belong to a community of reades who are strangers to the works covered in the fanfic but the fans of these works do not and it is very sad to read a story with iconic characters turned only into OCs without brain. If you like it, it's perfectly fine but since you belong to a group of readers who are not familiar with the stories involved, my review is not directed at you but for those who, like me, cannot enjoy the same a story of a rock with the name of a character that we know and look for a story that pays more attention to the individual identity of its characters. The same happens with the worlds where they are transformed into something 100% different, something that is not seen so much in Danmachi but in Type-Moon. It is not bad to put yourself in the worlds of your history but if you take away their identity and meaning, what remains? To give you a simple analogy, it is as if you look for your girlfriend at the airport but the person you meet only shares the name with the one in your memory. In addition, the author's objective is not or at least it was not to create a story of pure lemon. The big problems in this story are the MC's vicious cycles and the author's inability to take criticism being the latter which led me to post my review in several other reviews after being a victim of Eilion's gag policy which is just a dirty tactic to attract new readers with good ratings from other reviews. That's pretty much all I have to say. Thanks for your time.
Readtilltheybleed:I actually enjoyed the story...😓 mind you, I stopped reading it in the 900’s. 🤭🥱due to boredom... but I probably suffer from some kind of attention deficit disorder (I either binge watch or jump ship) I agree with much of what you said. The thing is, this is a fanfic of a story that had a fully developed cast of characters and a well established world development in place. (All of which I know nothing about sense I never touched the original 😗) As such, I would imagine the purpose of the story is precisely what the author accomplished with this work. He wrote a lemon love story for self gratification, borrowing the ingredients of a preexisting, popular storyline and fan base. His completely original content was never meant to take main stage. I haven’t read this story for quite a stretch of time so I may have a faulty recollection as to the degree in which I enjoyed it, but I do remember thinking that it was interesting. It was also the first story of its kind I had ever read, specifically where the harem grows beyond the MC and transforms his identity from the player to the toy. I found the concept intriguing. I also had the misfortune to learn that a MC of such a story can be too preoccupied with the more envy inducing elements to make any progress in the story plot. Very few stories have characters of great depth and originality. Most stories use preconceived notions and stereotypes to expedite the creative process. This, too, takes a lot of pressure off the author and allows for the story to flow more easily... this is a tool for the author. Tools, while generic, are well tested, tried and true. If one is looking for something original they should probably look elsewhere since a fanfic is typically just barely considered a professional work, and by its nature they are unoriginal.
By the way, can I ask if I know you about something? I would swear that you have responded to several of my comments in different novels in no time.
Readtilltheybleed:I actually enjoyed the story...😓 mind you, I stopped reading it in the 900’s. 🤭🥱due to boredom... but I probably suffer from some kind of attention deficit disorder (I either binge watch or jump ship) I agree with much of what you said. The thing is, this is a fanfic of a story that had a fully developed cast of characters and a well established world development in place. (All of which I know nothing about sense I never touched the original 😗) As such, I would imagine the purpose of the story is precisely what the author accomplished with this work. He wrote a lemon love story for self gratification, borrowing the ingredients of a preexisting, popular storyline and fan base. His completely original content was never meant to take main stage. I haven’t read this story for quite a stretch of time so I may have a faulty recollection as to the degree in which I enjoyed it, but I do remember thinking that it was interesting. It was also the first story of its kind I had ever read, specifically where the harem grows beyond the MC and transforms his identity from the player to the toy. I found the concept intriguing. I also had the misfortune to learn that a MC of such a story can be too preoccupied with the more envy inducing elements to make any progress in the story plot. Very few stories have characters of great depth and originality. Most stories use preconceived notions and stereotypes to expedite the creative process. This, too, takes a lot of pressure off the author and allows for the story to flow more easily... this is a tool for the author. Tools, while generic, are well tested, tried and true. If one is looking for something original they should probably look elsewhere since a fanfic is typically just barely considered a professional work, and by its nature they are unoriginal.
No you don’t. I liked what you had to say in a previous comment... thought you to be articulate and glanced at your some of your comments. That’s when I saw the comment that this originated from. I recalled having read some of the story and enjoyed it... mind you my expectations were low and I hadn’t really seen any danmachi before hand. I simply assumed the original story’s characters were equally 2-dimensional and tried to accept the story as it was. 😅 I wasn’t trying to stick up for the author. I was just shocked at how different our views on the story were and tried to show you a different perspective on what the author may have been trying to accomplish. Honestly, I stopped reading it for a reason so... I tend to put a lot of words in my comments. Sorry that it’s so long.
Long_Live_The_King:By the way, can I ask if I know you about something? I would swear that you have responded to several of my comments in different novels in no time.
I'm sorry if maybe I was a bit harsh with my choice of words but English is my third language at best and it is difficult for me to understand the feelings of those who write with it. * whispers * I also thought it might be one of Eilion's reserve accounts that has finally decided to start her harassment.
Readtilltheybleed:No you don’t. I liked what you had to say in a previous comment... thought you to be articulate and glanced at your some of your comments. That’s when I saw the comment that this originated from. I recalled having read some of the story and enjoyed it... mind you my expectations were low and I hadn’t really seen any danmachi before hand. I simply assumed the original story’s characters were equally 2-dimensional and tried to accept the story as it was. 😅 I wasn’t trying to stick up for the author. I was just shocked at how different our views on the story were and tried to show you a different perspective on what the author may have been trying to accomplish. Honestly, I stopped reading it for a reason so... I tend to put a lot of words in my comments. Sorry that it’s so long.
Considering his personality I am surprised that he has not attacked me yet.
Readtilltheybleed:No you don’t. I liked what you had to say in a previous comment... thought you to be articulate and glanced at your some of your comments. That’s when I saw the comment that this originated from. I recalled having read some of the story and enjoyed it... mind you my expectations were low and I hadn’t really seen any danmachi before hand. I simply assumed the original story’s characters were equally 2-dimensional and tried to accept the story as it was. 😅 I wasn’t trying to stick up for the author. I was just shocked at how different our views on the story were and tried to show you a different perspective on what the author may have been trying to accomplish. Honestly, I stopped reading it for a reason so... I tend to put a lot of words in my comments. Sorry that it’s so long.
With so much sarcasm that is everywhere, it is difficult for me to understand when someone is being sarcastic in english words or when they are only giving their opinion
Readtilltheybleed:No you don’t. I liked what you had to say in a previous comment... thought you to be articulate and glanced at your some of your comments. That’s when I saw the comment that this originated from. I recalled having read some of the story and enjoyed it... mind you my expectations were low and I hadn’t really seen any danmachi before hand. I simply assumed the original story’s characters were equally 2-dimensional and tried to accept the story as it was. 😅 I wasn’t trying to stick up for the author. I was just shocked at how different our views on the story were and tried to show you a different perspective on what the author may have been trying to accomplish. Honestly, I stopped reading it for a reason so... I tend to put a lot of words in my comments. Sorry that it’s so long.
This a reply to a 1 ywar old comment but I want to ask (if you remember) roughly how many people were in Vahn’s harem and if he got anymore girls in his harem after the danmatchi world (if he was in another world at that point) because I am not willing to read this novel to confirm it 😅
Readtilltheybleed:No you don’t. I liked what you had to say in a previous comment... thought you to be articulate and glanced at your some of your comments. That’s when I saw the comment that this originated from. I recalled having read some of the story and enjoyed it... mind you my expectations were low and I hadn’t really seen any danmachi before hand. I simply assumed the original story’s characters were equally 2-dimensional and tried to accept the story as it was. 😅 I wasn’t trying to stick up for the author. I was just shocked at how different our views on the story were and tried to show you a different perspective on what the author may have been trying to accomplish. Honestly, I stopped reading it for a reason so... I tend to put a lot of words in my comments. Sorry that it’s so long.
