webnovel
despacitoh
despacitohLv66yr
2018-12-01 20:17

This novel started as gem for me, really good fanfic and actually the first good danmachi fanfic tbh, the story is really good, the fight scene and progress is smooth, and author really have a great mind to make viewer heart goes roller coaster UNTIL 140++ chap where the romance start, dont get me wrong i love harem, but too much is gonna ruin the story for sure, atleast for me, suddenly the mc became s*x craze, and mostly he do is f**k, find new chick, lil bit progress, f**k again and repeat, tried to endure it till now, i give up this gem , its kinda sad to part ways, but cant stand it anymore, i wish your next work is great at this but more to development and story than harem hunting

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Replies52
Einlion
EinlionAuthor

This is blatantly false. Over the course of a five-month period, of actual story development, Vahn has been depicted as having *** a total of eight times. People WITHOUT a harem literally have more *** than that. And, if you'd like, show me a single girl Vahn has 'hunted' down.

despacitoh
despacitohLv6

Well i made a mistake about wording phase, what i mean is (from my point of view) is theres a 90% chance when vahn meet new girls either they became depend or entering his harem league, theres nothing wrong with that it just a matter of preference and i told you earlier right i love your works and respect your dedication, but the story is not up to my prefernce, maybe its my fault since i have different perspective and expectation, and i do forget its not my story but yours, well let me update my review ad fix my faulty word later

Einlion:This is blatantly false. Over the course of a five-month period, of actual story development, Vahn has been depicted as having *** a total of eight times. People WITHOUT a harem literally have more *** than that. And, if you'd like, show me a single girl Vahn has 'hunted' down.
Einlion
EinlionAuthor

It's all good, thanks for reading :3 And about the harem issues, its a combination of Vahn's disposition, looks, situation, and the unfortunate world choice xD. Things are a lot less focused on the actual 'harem' later in the story, and it isn't even a focus at all in later records since Vahn would have no reason to be seeking out a bunch of girls. Maybe I'll see you again in the future, take care~!

despacitoh:Well i made a mistake about wording phase, what i mean is (from my point of view) is theres a 90% chance when vahn meet new girls either they became depend or entering his harem league, theres nothing wrong with that it just a matter of preference and i told you earlier right i love your works and respect your dedication, but the story is not up to my prefernce, maybe its my fault since i have different perspective and expectation, and i do forget its not my story but yours, well let me update my review ad fix my faulty word later
Lord_lucky
Lord_luckyLv5

dude gotta ask you something did vahn get anyone pregnent?

Einlion:It's all good, thanks for reading :3 And about the harem issues, its a combination of Vahn's disposition, looks, situation, and the unfortunate world choice xD. Things are a lot less focused on the actual 'harem' later in the story, and it isn't even a focus at all in later records since Vahn would have no reason to be seeking out a bunch of girls. Maybe I'll see you again in the future, take care~!
SorcererCat
SorcererCatLv5

Yes. He is currently aiming to get all 18-36 girls pregnant.

Lord_lucky:dude gotta ask you something did vahn get anyone pregnent?
SorcererCat
SorcererCatLv5

I tired to leave a 3 star review like this a few days ago and it was Deleted. It is easy to have a HIGH review rate when you delete anything that isn't 5 stars. It is fine when it is a few girls but it is EVERY single girl in the story that is HOT for him. There are almost no normal girls or guys in the story. All but 2 of his entire guild (Familia) is made up of his Harem of girls that are chasing after him or sleeping with him.

Cupcake_Prince
Cupcake_PrinceLv11

Damn that sucks ! I’m glad I saw this ! Thanks for spreading the word !

SorcererCat:I tired to leave a 3 star review like this a few days ago and it was Deleted. It is easy to have a HIGH review rate when you delete anything that isn't 5 stars. It is fine when it is a few girls but it is EVERY single girl in the story that is HOT for him. There are almost no normal girls or guys in the story. All but 2 of his entire guild (Familia) is made up of his Harem of girls that are chasing after him or sleeping with him.
Intra_Cetum
Intra_CetumLv1

I'm still SHOCKED the author hasn't deleted some of these reviews since he literally deletes every new review that pops up. I guess old ones can't be justified to be deleted. Now he's just a trigger happy deleter who's a trash can.

Randomguy791
Randomguy791Lv5

yep. review deleting all right. If you look at the later pages, you'll find multiple reviews from one account spamming 5 stars with "review" "exp" or even just a string of dots. On the other hand, reviews lower than 4 stars are almost nonexistent. you'll have to go through multiple pages to find one and even then, it'll probably be removed after some time.

SorcererCat:I tired to leave a 3 star review like this a few days ago and it was Deleted. It is easy to have a HIGH review rate when you delete anything that isn't 5 stars. It is fine when it is a few girls but it is EVERY single girl in the story that is HOT for him. There are almost no normal girls or guys in the story. All but 2 of his entire guild (Familia) is made up of his Harem of girls that are chasing after him or sleeping with him.
Kan_Bey
Kan_BeyLv3

Best 🕔they could wishes

Mary_Bell
Mary_BellLv2

Yeah same for me

Dao_Executor
Dao_ExecutorLv5

Well I got a fever + got butthurted by Freya situation and ranted a little in review and despite it being a little harsh it wasn't that bad of review, not to the point just to delete it.. quite a ridiculous system if you thought about it if I knew that author can just delete whatever he want I would't be bothered to type.. Too lazy to write it all over again so I'll explain only my 'main complaint' point in case someone will see it. SPOILER ALERT. Freya netorare (from perspective) - so Vahn knew she would be his wife and mother of his child yet he still proceeded with casually helping her get knocked up by Ottar and was like 'hmm someone's else semen in her abdomen.. nice' whatever I would prefer netorare tag for the novel + explanation of the situation for those who bothered by 'ntr'. Also author reaction at criticism.. well to be honest I haven't seen any author on webnovel taking criticism in a good/worthily way.. Sad. Maybe they should make some short guide about this or something.. Also this is why the less you know about the author the better (universal advice for any book) P.S. Also.. sorry for spam..

Purple_Bear
Purple_BearLv4

I wish I read this before I started. I completely agree with this. Puberty hit Vahn so hard that it knocked all the story out of this novel.

Wallker
WallkerLv4

Author is a shameless person who deletes bad reviews

Pyoug
PyougLv4

wait, srsly? mc got ntr? and he did nothing? I mean did she sleep with Ottar while she was in his harem/or had sex?

floW
floWLv5

Want proper review? check EPIC in Royalroad website. the reviews are things i completely agree with. got tired with this novel after reading 540+ chapters. it was a good ride but im still tired with this novel after 2-3 months passed. still in my library but ill read it again when theres nothing to read anymore.

IncarnationOfFate
IncarnationOfFateLv6

Freya was not in his harem

Pyoug:wait, srsly? mc got ntr? and he did nothing? I mean did she sleep with Ottar while she was in his harem/or had sex?
IncarnationOfFate
IncarnationOfFateLv6

Freya was not in his harem

Pyoug:wait, srsly? mc got ntr? and he did nothing? I mean did she sleep with Ottar while she was in his harem/or had sex?
IncarnationOfFate
IncarnationOfFateLv6

When she had sex witb Ottar

Pyoug:wait, srsly? mc got ntr? and he did nothing? I mean did she sleep with Ottar while she was in his harem/or had sex?
Einlion
EinlionAuthor

hahahaha

The content has been deleted
Other Reviews
Exalted_Felix
Exalted_FelixLv4

Bored_Reader_
Bored_Reader_Lv3

I mostly write this just to help people understand some of the premise and not be disappointed if they are looking for something else. Now, this is not a wish fulfillment story about travelling across various anime worlds and fighting and adventuring. This is a story about the life of a 14 year old who has spent his entire life in captivity, being exploited by others . Literally. He was found to have panacea like blood as a newborn and was kept in a research facility since he was like a month old. He has not been loved or cared for at all and is just used as a blood producer. His common sense comes only from animes and mangas. Now, you have to understand is that what he does and how he acts is entirely different from normal considering he is a broken, ignorant child. He does not process emotion as casually as we do and is basically just a giant bleeding heart because of his past. Because of this he will not act like shounen protagonists or wuxia MCs at all. They are hot blooded idiots who like fighting, want women and are usually extremely ambitious. Vahn is none of those. He is someone who has been given a life and freedom and just wants to experience it. To him, fighting is a nuisance and despite his claims of being a battle junkie, does not like having fights to the death. He does want to explore, but he has no urgent desire to make it his immediate goal. Understand that this is a rather realistic story of Vahn's growth despite the fantasy tag. He mostly just wants to live in peace and love because of the fact he never had it for the first 14 years of his life. He appreciates it. Some of you like to think of him as a generic japanese protagonist but thing is he grew up watching them as well as suffering great injustice so he has an actual reason to be so merciful. If you expect an MC that goes around all excited and battle hungry or has some vague reason to become the strongest, this is not it. Also, I'll just adress another issue that is going to come up as you progress. He has a huge harem. As in over a dozen girls after the first 100 chapters or so. And the reason for this is because he is a capable male that is highly empathetic and thus becomes attractive to most women who live in a rather shitty world. Also, since he himself has no resistance to others, he accepts basically everyone. He craves love and if someone gives it he'll take her. So yeah, it can become rather unbearable to watch him forsake higher power just to mess around with the harem members and basically start a slice of life but if he doesn't do this, it would be highly unrealistic. This is not a one dimensional novel about fighting progressively stronger enemies and becoming the greatest of them all for no particular reason and neither is it for exploring universes and collecting women. It's about a shattered person trying to enjoy life and fulfill his desires. He wants to explore but won't just leave his family behind for it. He wants to become strong but won't neglect his reason for becoming strong for it. I hope you found this useful.

ThomasDarkrose
ThomasDarkroseLv12

Writing Quality: 5/5 - While there are occasional typos, ****y tiny grammatical errors or punctuation errors, they do not detract from the story in any way. The writing is excellent and just draws you in. Stability of Updates: 5/5 - The author pumps out chapters like a madman all in order to feed the addicted souls he has created. 'Nuff said. Story Development: 5/5 - The story starts with a nieve and broken main character, Vahn, and through interactions with the world and the characters in it, he grows. Vahn still has a lot of growing to do and I, personally, look forward to seeing the man that Vahn will grow into. Character Design: 4/5 - I would love to give the author 5/5 stars just for the design of Vahn, but I prefer to be honest and forthright. Because this is a fan-fiction many of the main characters were already designed by the original author of DanMachi. That said, Einlion takes those pre-existing characters and completely makes them his own without violating the source material. While reading this story you will be hard pressed to find any reason to complain about the use of the pre-existing characters, their reactions, or their believability. World Background: 4/5 - Again, I would love to make this 5/5 stars, but the story takes place in a pre-existing world. Just like the characters though, the world is not violated or discarded it is embraced and honored. Fan-fictions are a tough genre to write in, you have to take a world and characters that already exist, and are loved, then make them your own while writing your own story. Einlion does this exceptionally well and is crafting an amazing story that follows a unique and amazing character. The only thing I could possibly complain about is that I found this novel now instead of a year from now, I can't binge read it nearly enough. On a final note, if you are a fan of DanMachi, or anime in general, and looking for a story with a unique and entertaining main character than I strongly recommend reading this story.

TFH
TFHLv6

Dude.... You are writting an amazing world here... the quality of the writting is excellent and i dont believe i have found any mistake, the character development is marvelous dude... each individual character is seen as a person with alll their characteristics. About the development of the story, while i find that its somewhat... well, really fast paced i would like it to slow down. Its like you want to climb a mountain but you dont go by foot but by helicopter. So far the MC is soul tier 2 and tier 9 is the highest known currently since the path is an artifact lvl 9, if mc goes to soul tier 3 to fast it will make things feel rushed. Now speaking of danmachi, to be honest i would find it a waste should the MC leave, currently danmachi is cataloged as 1-4.... But a way exist to make it 1-5 and so on i believe. So it would be awesome if the world can level up too, and there exist the posiblity of even mixing up worlds with portals so as to make that MC could come and go between worlds. Even the MC could get a portal skill to come back to Hephaestus and the others. IT would be awesome if you can make it with the help of MC that people can go beyond lvl 7, which is ottar from the freya family and reach lvl 8 or higher. I say it again, it would be a huge waste and terrible mistake in my opinion to leave behind danmachi should the mc go to another world. This is beacause danmachi universe didnt existed before the mc went inside, the path i believe created that world, gods and all. So its fine to think that the path has the ability to make universes that are weaker than it, who says you cant make other universes and mix them up? Even more you can put it that inside the laberith is a portal to another world too, and to make things easier it was found a portal in floor 60 for example that can send you back to the surface or from the surface to floor 60 if you have reached it.

MoonLord
MoonLordLv14

This story is one of my most favorites that I have ever read, from Royalroad to Webnovel, I've been reading stories for years. I've loved how this story showed me the gradual change in the MC, how his hard work made him grow stronger physically and mentally, however unfortunately, the story ended up following the usual harem template... I'm not saying that harem stories are bad, in fact I love a lot of stories like that, however when every character introduced is a romantic interest.. no, more like a sure fact that the character is immediately gonna join his harem... Because for some unknown reasons they immediately fall in love with him and act the same way as every girl that has feelings for him, relationships between the MC and the female characters are either Harem member, possible and future harem member and non-harem member, not a single friendly relation. The story quickly became bland. Also there's no friendship between the MC and any other Male character, in fact there's not a single interesting guy that the MC can befriend. The weird fact is how the female characters always end up falling in love with the MC in a matter of days, there's no developing and gradual romance in this story with the exception of veeerrrryyy few... I like some of the girls because of their personalities and gradual development, however for most of them, they just pop out like popcorns and the MC ACCEPTS every single girl that says "I Love You" as if they've had enough interactions to fall in love... and he can never say no. I love this story, this is why I'm frustrated with how it is developing. .. though I'll keep reading hoping that it'll get better, I'm just sad it developed that way.

AnActualLivingPoet
AnActualLivingPoetLv4

The story started out quite well, it was interesting, it had action, but it turned to sh*t at the 200 or so chapter mark. I mean don't get me wrong, your writing quality and updates are still awesome, but the way you introduced the heroine's from Danmachi was in a word slutty. They became generic Dating Sim gals on easy mode. They easily- no brainlessly fell for a pathetic guy who can "Emphatize" with them. In 3 mere months nonetheless. (F*ck! I can do that, hold my beer) I won't go into anymore details about this as I've already read a few reviews that were more specific about this topic. As for Vahn, I just plainly don't like him. You have great skills author, but Vahn is ****. He's just a cheap knock off of Bell. Without his plot armor "The path" he can't even compare. He's just a sad child that didn't know how to belong in the world, but somehow became a great socialite that could get every heroine(although braindead) to bed with only a few interactions. Give an autistic person a chance to reincarnate as a normal one, then give him "The Path", a handsome face and a large dick. I guarantee he'll do a better job than this faggot. Anyways, Writing quality - 5 Stability in updates - 5 Story Development - 1 (because 7/10 chapters are more on Vahn's daily life flirting with who knows how many girls especially in the early chapters) Character Design - 1 (You designed Vahn enough said) World Background - 1 (Danmachi is a great world don't get me wrong, but it's nothing new. I already read about it in the original don't want to read the same thing here) Overall : 2.6 Little advice bro, criticism isn't bad, you can learn and grow from them. But if you insist that everyone is wrong and you are right then you'll never be number 1.

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