Entrée De Journal Deux: Helping Hand

Will's POV:

It's me again. I know, I just woke up, but I figured I would write down my thoughts before having to deal with Nico the rest of today and maybe even the rest of the week.

I'm nervous for some reason. Maybe I'm scared he'll hurt me? Hedge told me about what happened with that one kid, about how Nico practically killed him in his sleep. I can't remember that kid's name. I was too focused on the fact that Nico was a lot more dangerous than what we all thought he was. That was what scared me. We would be alone together in his room, talking. We had put him in the special room for Demi-gods who can't be around others.

I took a shower and got dressed, and now I'm on my way to the infirmary.

I'm not sure how I feel about having to talk to Nico except for being nervous and possibly scared.

As I made my way into the infirmary, Kayla signed out of her shift and I signed in for mine.

"Good luck on, di Angelo," she said on her way out.

"Thanks," I said, "I'll need it,"

"Yeah, you will. He's been putting up a fight since he got here," She said, looking around the infirmary to make sure nobody was listening, "He was fine that first day when you were on shift but since then, he's been nothing but trouble so hopefully you can get him to stop with the attitude,"

"You know the reason why I'm helping him," I said, quietly,

"Because you like him," she joked, and I glared at her, "But yes, I know that if something were to happen to him, you would blame yourself as a healer. In fact, I think that all of us would. And not just for di Angelo, but for any camper here,"

At that, she left me in a silent infirmary. At least, it was silent until I heard someone screaming. That kinda ruined my day and gave me a massive headache. I went to see who the screamer was and found out it was Nico. He looked like he was stuck in a nightmare, so I tried to gently wake him, knowing that any Demi-god who's experienced battle has nightmares and if you wake them up during one, you could get hurt.

"Hey, di Angelo," I said, leaning in close so he could hear me, "Nico, wake up, you're having a nightmare,"

He woke up with a start, trying to grab his sword that was nowhere to be found.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I am a healer," I shot back. "No need to thank me, by the way, even though I just saved your ass from a nightmare,"

"I can handle those myself," He said,

"Okay! Well, on our schedule for today, we are going to see just how much darkness is still in you and then that will determine if you get to leave today or not!" I said, "I just need your hand for a moment, please."

"No," He said flatly,

"Okay, well, if you're ever planning on getting out of this place, then I need your hand."

"Guess I'm not leaving then," He shrugged,

"If you don't leave, I'm just going to keep bothering you every day to give me your hand. Honestly, di Angelo, why must you insist on being so difficult?"

"I'm not,"

"Yes, you are. Just give me your hand. It's not that hard! I don't bite or kill people when I touch them!" I raised my voice slightly. I saw him flinch when I mentioned killing someone and only then had I realized my words.

"Then why are you trying to help me? Huh? You obviously know about what happened, so why would you save a killer like me?" He asked, staring me dead in the eyes,

"Because everybody deserves a chance," I whispered.

"Yeah, well, so did that Demi-god, and look at what happened to him. It's only fair that I get that same punishment."

"No, it's not, and if that is the way you think then you need to stay here a lot longer than just three days. I'm going to have to write down the fact that you need to be on what we call a suicide watch." I sighed.

"I'm not a child, I don't need to be babysat," He argued,

"It's not about if you're a child or not, it's about the fact that you're talking about killing yourself and you need to be monitored to make sure you don't kill yourself," I said, "You may be Hades kid, but that doesn't make you immune to death, so please, just give me your freaking hand already so I can check on other patients!"

"Then go check on them! I don't need to be babysat! I am more than capable of taking care of myself! I don't need some kid who thinks he knows me telling me how to take care of myself!" He yelled,

"Then fine, you know what, do whatever you please. At least I tried to help you," I said and walked toward the door. "I'll be back with your discharge papers soon." with that, I left.

I proceeded on with my day like normal. Austin came in for his shift later on with the day and we worked together. I told him about Nico and asked if he could finish checking on the other campers while I dealt with the son of Hades.

"Yeah, sure! Just try not to cause another disruption. Please, the campers were telling me about that and now a lot of them don't want to be in here when he is," Austin said,

"Yeah, I'll try not to," I mumbled, grabbing the papers and making my way back to his room.

As I neared the door, I made sure to knock as I had forgotten to do that the last time. When I heard a soft "Go away" I knocked again. I didn't mean to make him cry, if that was what he was doing. I just needed him to understand the importance of taking care of yourself. Both physically and mentally.

I'll come back to that later, reader. You and I have to have a talk about that, too. I can't have you reading this to the point where you're not taking care of your body and mind.

Back to Nico.

"It's me, Will, again, I'm back with your papers," I said.

"Give me a second," He said,

"Alright," I said, "And listen, I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to blow up like that, it's just when people- campers, I mean don't want to listen to their brains when it comes to being taken care of, it worries me, I've seen a lot of deaths in this place and I'd rather not see another one,"

"You're one to talk," He grumbled. "You can come in now."

I opened the door to see that he wasn't facing me. So he was crying.

"Anyway, I have your papers here. I just need you to sign a few things saying that you're fine with leaving without proper care and that if anything were to happen, it wouldn't be put back on me."

"That's fine,"

"Okay, then," I said, "But before you go, I am going to need to make sure that you do talk to me a little bit so that I can ensure that you won't kill yourself overnight,"

"I'm not talking to anybody," He grumbled,

"It's a proto-call. If you won't talk to me, then you're going to have to talk to Chiron."

"Just let me leave, Solace. I have other things to do."

"Not training, I hope. You're far too weak and exhausted to be doing that right now. If and when I release you, you need to be going to every meal, so breakfast, lunch, and dinner and whatever time you're not eating, you need to be relaxing and resting. Then a few weeks after you have been released, you will need to come back here for another evaluation and depending on how you're doing then, is if you will be cleared for training and quests or not," I said, "Does that make sense?"

"Just give me the papers. Please," He asked,

"Look, I'm not trying to be rude here, but I really do need your hand for a second."

"I don't do physically touch," He said,

"It's just for a quick moment,"

"No,"

"I promise you, it's like five seconds," I held my own hand out, "Whatever bad experience you have had with physically touch won't happen with me,"

"I haven't had a bad experience,"

"Then you're touch deprived,"

"You act like I know what that means."

"It means that you've gone so long without having a comforting physical touch, that you have learned to go without it, but you can't and so that's why you're pushing people away. It's because your brain has tricked you into thinking that you're not good enough for basic human needs,"

"I don't push people away,"

"You're pushing me away right now," I said,

"No, I'm not,"

"Yeah, yeah, you are, Nico," I said. "Please, let me help you. I know I may have been rude in the past, but please let me help you."

"I don't need help,"

"Yes, you do," I pleaded. "If anybody can help you, it's me. I know a lot about the human brain and body. I can help you overcome whatever battles you're fighting right now,". I could see a flash of emotions go through his eyes. He was considering my words. "May I sit on the cot with you?" I asked,

He nodded his head slightly. I took that as a win and slowly sat down, making sure to leave room between the both of us.

"Let yourself open up to me. If you open up to me, I'll return the favour and open up to you. I'll tell you things that not even my own siblings know about me,"

"I don't have friends," He whispered,

"What about Percy and Annabeth? Maybe even Jason?"

"They think of me as a child, I'm not."

"I can understand that," I said. "Let me be your friend."

"I've never had a friend before,"

"I can be your first."

"I'll kill you,"

"How?"

"Everybody I come in contact with always dies,"

"I'm not afraid of death," I said, looking at him. I only noticed now that his eyes were puffy. Gods, he looked beautiful.

Wait, what? No, no, he looked awful! I may be a child of Apollo, but I'm not into guys.

"I know you've had a hard life, and I don't want to rush or push you into things, and I know it may not seem like it, but opening up really helps you,"

"I know," He said, "My sister told me that,"

"Hazel?" I asked,

"No, Bianca,"

"I'm sorry about her,"

"It's not your fault. Just like it's not Percy's," He said, "She made her own choice. There was nothing anybody could have done to stop her."

"She sounds stubborn," I laughed lightly. "Now I know where you get it from,"

"Our Ma used to say we actually got that from our father. She would never say his name, though, he was always addressed as 'father',"

"My mom used to do that, too. Sometimes she would say Apollo, but not a lot," I said, "I don't think any of our parents want to talk about our godly parents, they might be embarrassed."

"Ma was never embarrassed. If anything, she was proud,"

"You're opening up," I said. Gods, I couldn't help but look at his lips. Stop- Will, you're not gay,

"Don't push your luck," At that, I laughed,

"So, now that we've gotten to know each other a little bit, may I see your hand?"

He held his hand out slightly. "I'm just going to hold it for like five seconds. Is that okay?" I asked. He nodded his head, and I held his hand in mine. Not gonna lie, readers, but it felt nice. Like I had finally found the thing I've been missing my entire life. I'll have to talk to Kayla about that. I started focussing on the darkness when we heard a knock on the door and then the door opening. Neither of us pulled our hands away.

"What's going on here?" Austin asked,

"Get out! I'm working with a patient here!" I hissed, looking over at Nico to see him frozen in shock. I let go of his hand quickly, but it didn't do anything for his shock.

"What's wrong with him?" Austin asked,

"Austin, I need you to leave right this moment, okay? I'll talk to you about this later, but right now, I have a patient frozen in shock and I need to bring him back and I can't do that if you're in here,"

"Okay, okay, I'll see you later tonight," He said, "I just wanted to let you know that my shift and yours are over and Kayla's supposed to be taking over,"

"When she gets here, tell her to not bother me," I said, "At least not for right now."

"I will," He said, "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah," I said and heard him close the door. I immediately got to working on Nico. "Nico, hey, I need you to come back to me, okay? Come on, it's okay, he's gone now,"

After about three minutes, he blinked again, "Hey, hey, it's okay, you're back now," I sighed,

"What happened?" He asked, confused.

"My brother Austin walked in and you froze up on me," I said. "I didn't get the chance to check on the darkness but I understand if you don't want me to touch you right now. But can you at least explain what made you freeze up the way you did?"

"I'm from the '30s," He said, "Boys holding hands isn't normal,"

I froze for a quick second when I realized what he meant.

"Are you homophobic?" I asked, cautiously,

"No, no, far from it, it's just programmed into my head that that's the first thing I think of," He said,

"I won't judge you if you are, you know, I'm a safe person to talk to."

"Everybody says that,"

"Except, I actually mean it,"

"Nobody ever does when it comes to me,"

"Want to play a game?" I said, changing the topic slightly.

"What game?" he asked,

"It's called Twenty-One Questions, except for now, I'll change the number of questions to how ever many you want," I explained, "Do you know how to play?"

"No," He said, looking down,

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's really easy to explain!"

"Are you- you know, into boys?" He asked,

"I don't think so, no, but then again, I've never really thought about it hard enough," I said,

"Oh," he said,

"How about I explain the rules of the game to you? And then whatever questions you have for me, you can ask them?"

"Okay,"

"Okay, so I'll give you an example first, you asked me if I were into guys, I said that I wasn't sure, that would count as your question, I could then either ask you a different question or return your question back to you and that would count as my question and we'd just repeat that. Does that make sense?"

"I think so,"

"Okay, do you want to ask the first question or do you want me to?"

"You can," He said,

"Alright then, I'll start easy. What's your favourite colour?"

"Blue," He mumbled,

"Agreed. Although it's not my favourite, it is pretty," I said. "Now you ask me a question."

"I don't know a question,"

"That's fine. You can ask the same question I asked you. You don't have to come up with your own,"

"What's your favourite colour, then?"

"Mine is probably yellow or orange, but not like an orange orange. I like like a light orange. Does that make sense?"

"My first language is not English, so no, that does not make sense."

"Okay, how can I explain this to you?" I thought, "Okay, so you know what an orange looks like?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Okay and you know that shade of orange?"

"Yeah?"

"I like a shade lighter than that, so not like a bright neon orange but just a soft shade of orange,"

"I'm not talking about this anymore, it's confusing me,"

"Sorry," I laughed, "Isn't this fun? We're already learning so much about each other! My turn to ask a question, this one may be a bit personal, but if you could explain yourself in any three words, how would you do it?"

"Dark, alone, friendless," He said,

"We need to work on that, but it's your turn to ask a question."

"Can I just ask the questions you ask me, but ask them to you?" He asked, "I don't really know any questions to ask,"

"Yeah! Sure! I'm good with that!" I said,

"Then how would you describe yourself?"

"Friendly, popular, under seen,"

"Is under seen even a word?"

"No idea. But I'm saying that a lot of people don't see me for who or how I really am and they just see what I show them and what I want people to see."

"Oh, I feel that same way,"

"My turn to ask a question?" I asked, trying to get on a lighter topic. Sure, him opening up is great, but I want him to know that he can trust me before we get into darker things.

"Go ahead,"

"Okay, question number three! Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?"

"No? I don't know? Growing up we didn't have much. Non-historical or schooling books were just starting to come around and electronics still didn't exist at the time, although cars were starting to show up more."

"I'm sorry, I forgot about that,"

"It's fine, it seems like a lot of people do and so when they see that I'm confused about a topic that everybody else knows, it's kinda embarrassing sometimes because they all know the subject and I don't,"

"We can work on getting you up to date if that's one of the things you want to work on? In fact, we should probably make a list of all the things you want to work on so we can work on them and help with,"

"Okay,"

"Do you want to do that instead of the game or do you want to play the game a little longer?" I paused for a moment, realizing something, "Sorry, I just realized I'm talking to you like you're a child when we're literally the same age," I laughed, "I'm just so used to talking in a calmer tone when dealing with campers who are still coming to terms with things,"

"It's fine," He said, "I get it. We can do whatever you want to do. It doesn't really matter to me,"

"Okay, how about I ask you things that you might want to work on and then you can tell me yes or no and if you feel comfortable you can tell me why and in return, I'll tell you something about myself?"

"That's fine,"

"Okay, first thing. Wait, let me get a piece of paper first," I said, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I left the room and went to grab a piece of paper and a pencil - or pen, whatever I could find first. I ended up finding a pen first, so I took the two things back to the room. When I returned, I saw that Nico was now sitting on the floor instead of on the bed. He looked tired, so I ended up calling it for the day. He needed rest, and it's not like we were completely abandoning him from making that list. We were just postponing it. Which he was not happy about.

"Nico, you need rest. You're not going to get that if you're thinking about your possible flaws and your mental health problems as well as your physical ones," I insisted.

"I need to make that list," He cried,

"And you will! You just need to rest first! I promise you, it'll be much easier to make that list when you're not falling asleep!"

"Fine!" He said, "I'll go to bed,"

"Thank you!" I said, closing the door once I saw that he was actually asleep and went on with my shift.