Tensions

Eventually, I reached home, feeling exhausted and drained of all my energy. Despite my weariness, I couldn't shake off my thoughts about him, but I tried to push them aside and rest for the evening. After a long and tiring first day, I found myself in dire need of rest. The fatigue was so overwhelming that I had to take more than 12 hours to recharge and feel like myself again. As I lay on my bed, my thoughts wandered to Nick, the person who had occupied my daydreams. I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if he were right there beside me. My mind conjured up a vivid scenario in which he unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his bare chest, and leaned in to kiss me. I reciprocated eagerly, grasping his head in my hands and savoring the feel of his lips on mine. His hand explored my body, slipping under my t-shirt and touching my skin. I felt a rush of excitement as he gently massaged my left breast, causing my heart to skip a beat. I was consumed by the sensation of his touch, longing to be enveloped in his embrace. Lost in my reverie, I indulged in the forbidden fantasy of him kissing me all over and pleasuring me.

The next morning, I awoke feeling exhausted, as expected. I had not slept well, and the only thing that kept me going was the thought of Nick. Despite my disinterest in the day's lectures, I eagerly anticipated the possibility of seeing him and engaging in more than just casual conversation. 

I was getting ready for college and as usual, I opted for my regular attire, donning a pair of pants and a comfortable t-shirt. Unlike most girls who would fret over selecting the perfect outfit, spending endless hours deciding on the right makeup, gorgeous hairstyle, and beautiful footwear to complement their looks, I couldn't care less. I was a self-proclaimed lazy queen, who refused to put in minimal effort to look presentable yet spent hours daydreaming about boys falling for me. 

As I picked up my tote bag, which contained two books, a water bottle, and a purse, I began my journey towards college. Coincidentally, Nick lived just a lane away from my house, making the possibility of running into him on my way to college quite high. While I yearned to catch a glimpse of him, I was also apprehensive about meeting him face-to-face. With his thoughts occupying my mind, rent-free, I walked towards the bus stop and waited for my ride. 

As I stood there, lost in my own world, I spotted him moving in front of me in his car. My heart skipped a beat as I noticed a girl sitting beside him. The sight of them together sent a pang of jealousy through me, and I couldn't help but wonder who she was and what she meant to him. 

As I watched him cozy up to the girl sitting beside him, my heart sank into the depths of my being. I knew deep down that he was not the kind of person to remain single for long, but I never expected him to start dating again so soon. It was as if my mind was split into two, one half trying to rationalize my emotions while the other half was consumed with frustration and anger. Was I simply upset that he hadn't informed me of his new relationship or was I secretly envious of the girl who now held his affection? 

Despite my inner turmoil, I refused to acknowledge the possibility of jealousy. After all, why would I be jealous? It's not like we were in a relationship or anything. 

I sat there, watching them laugh and flirt with each other, a feeling of envy began to seep into my consciousness. It was a subtle feeling, one that I tried to suppress, but it was there, simmering beneath the surface. I couldn't help but wonder what she had that I didn't, and that thought made me feel inadequate and unworthy. 

*Nick's home* 

My mind swirled with a mix of questions, excitement, and an indescribable anxiety. I lay in bed until 8 o'clock, my phone incessantly ringing. But I chose to ignore the calls. The persistent ringing continued, and it went on for the second, third, fourth, and fifth times. On the sixth call, I didn't bother to check the caller's name and answered in frustration, "Can't you just give me some space?" 

"Hey there, calm down," my brother's voice came through. "I just wanted to know where you are and if you'll be home for dinner." 

"Apologies, I had mistaken you for someone else," I responded. 

My brother teased, "Seems like someone's getting on your nerves." 

"It's not like that. Just come home. We'll have dinner together once you're back," I informed him. 

"Sure thing, kiddo. Catch you later," he said before ending the call. 

As I lay back in bed, my mind wandered, pondering whether Isabella was single or not. 

"After dinner, I returned to my room with the realization that there was no more room for avoidance; it was time to confront the situation. I made the decision to retire early, in hopes of waking up rejuvenated and prepared. I carefully selected my finest attire, planning to attend college as my best self. The night seemed interminable, with time crawling by as I lay there, unaware of when I finally drifted into slumber. 

"Ugh, college is such a drag," were the first words that escaped my lips as i opened my eyes. Last night was quite an adventure, sneeking out and staying out until 3 in the morning and then rushing back home and into bed before anyone noticed my absence, leaving me thoroughly drained. It's already 8 in the morning, and I'm running on too little sleep. 

My drinking habits are undeniably a perilous path, a recklessness that may one day prove fatal. Today, I find myself grappling with the torment of yet another merciless hangover. My throbbing head makes it a Herculean task to drag myself out of bed, but I finally manage to muster the strength. I take a refreshing shower, don a pair of comfortable brown baggy pants, a light creamy brown t-shirt, and slip into a snug blue jacket before venturing out in search of breakfast. 

I took a seat at the expansive, unoccupied dining table, and breakfast was brought to me by Lola, our trusted maid of 40 years. She placed before me a simple yet satisfying meal: fresh bread, scrambled eggs, and a refreshing glass of orange juice. 

"Thank you, Lola," I expressed my gratitude as she carefully presented the food. 

With a warm smile, Lola responded, "Enjoy, dear," before returning to the kitchen. 

Lola, who is turning 40 this year, has been a part of our workplace for longer than I've been alive. My mother mentioned that it's been almost 25 years since she began working here. Lola is not just a co-worker; she's a kind and sweet person who has been like a second mother to me since my childhood. I've always felt more comfortable confiding in her than in my own mother. 

After finishing my breakfast, I returned to my room, grabbed my backpack, and then headed out to my car. 

I am currently pursuing a Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA), although my true passion lies in music. While I may not have initially chosen this path, it was my father's strong encouragement that led me into the field of business. He envisions a future where I can assist my brother in managing his company. 

However, my heart truly belongs to music. I've always found immense joy in playing musical instruments and creating my own melodies. It's a passion that runs deep within me. 

On my way, I saw Bella waiting for the bus, dressed in comfortable pants and a simple solid-colored T-shirt. She looked stunning. It was an intriguing contrast for me – I had the most beautiful woman from our college, dressed in an alluring black one-piece outfit showcasing her curves, sitting next to me, and yet, I found myself strangely captivated by Bella's casual attire. What was wrong with me? 

As my thoughts wandered, Bella noticed my presence. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind. Would she feel a twinge of jealousy seeing Emily beside me? Our eyes met, and a silent connection formed between us. No words were exchanged, but she clearly observed me holding Emily's hand. Bella averted her gaze, and I couldn't help but notice a hint of displeasure in her expression. 

*At the university* 

In the evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, I found myself alone with Nick in a secluded corner of the university. The tension between us reached its peak, the air thick with unspoken words. Nick, unable to contain the emotions within him, finally broke the silence. 

"Isabella, there's something I need to tell you," he began, his eyes reflecting a mixture of longing and apprehension. 

Before Nick could continue, our moment was interrupted by the sudden entrance of Emily, a vivacious girl from Nick's past who had recently become part of his present. I was taken aback by the unexpected intrusion, couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in Nick's demeanor. 

Emily greeted us with a bright smile, blissfully unaware of the charged atmosphere. Nick, attempting to mask his discomfort, introduced me to Emily, his attempt at normalcy betraying the complexity of the emotions swirling within him. 

As Emily joined the conversation, I felt a pang of jealousy that took me by surprise. I observed the easy camaraderie between Nick and Emily, their laughter echoing like a melody that excluded me. 

Throughout the evening, I couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider in the trio. The unresolved tension between me and Nick lingered, overshadowed by the presence of Emily. Little did I know that Emily's role in Nick's life was more complex than it appeared. 

As the night wore on, I excused myself from the gathering, needing space to process the whirlwind of emotions.