Chapter 18: Nana Sawada

Chapter 18

Nana Sawada

"I wonder if I'm ignorant to my child's troubles, or if that brainwashing is finally starting to take effect." - Nana Sawada in dyingwillbullet's Abridged Series.

"As long as I'm here, I might as well stare at you threateningly. *Hibari's screaming fangirls*" - Hibari Kyoya in dyingwillbullet's Abridged Series.

"Can someone tell me where my forehead went in the last ten years?" - Adult!I-Pin in dyingwillbullet's Abridged Series.

I just love the Abridged Series, so I decided that this chapter's quote will be from that. Because really, the Abridged Series is so awesome... and to make up from it being from the Abridged (since I'd imagine that some wouldn't like the Abridged.), I added three quotes.

You're welcome.

Here's Chapter 18: Nana Sawada.

So I came home, to Nana's, where she was cooking (who was she cooking for, if she was alone?), humming to herself. "Ah, Yuni-chan! You're home? Would you like a snack?"

I blinked, in surprise. She was so nice. "Err, sure, thanks."

Wow, Yuni. Way to be socially awkward, way to go.

In minutes, Nana had a plate of cookies and two glasses of milk set in front of me, and she seated herself across the table.

"So, Yuni-chan, you're from Italy, like Reborn-kun, right?" Nana asked, politely, sipping on her milk.

I swallowed cookie bits. She is the best cook ever. Just saying. I think that the Vongola or anyone should hire her as the cook. Because then she'd be a bazillionaire because her cooking skills are superior to everything else. In the world. Period. "Yeah, Reborn is friends with my mom."

Nana tilted her head. "You have a mom? I thought you were like I-Pin-chan and Lambo-kun..."

I smiled, awkwardly. Then again, she kind of did just accuse me, in a way, of being an orphan. "No, I have a mother. Her name is Aria."

She beamed. "That is such a lovely name, Aria..."

I shrugged. "I suppose so. Umm, if you don't mind my asking, where is Tsuna's dad?"

Nana tensed, slightly, her expression turning sad for a second, before perking up. I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been watching for it. So even the oblivious soccer mom has noticed. "Tsu-kun's father...Iemitsu, he works far away, and doesn't visit much. Isn't that just romantic?"

I gave a sad smile. "It is, I guess, how he keeps coming back, for his beloved family, but its kind of sad too."

Nana nodded, hesitating slightly, before speaking. "But that's the romantic part. Sort of bittersweet, I guess, how he would visit and leave again, but I do love him."

I sighed, but smiled. "That's the good thing, here. Is I-Pin and Lambo still out?"

Nana blinked, at the topic change. "Oh, yes."

I took another cookie. "So...what do you wanna do?"

Tsuna was probably PWN-ing Mukuro right now, Haru and Kyoko (Hana probably would've ran for the hills, because of her children-issues.) were probably fawning over I-Pin and Lambo (oh. I haven't met Haru or Kyoko yet...) and everyone else was with Tsuna. So I was stuck with Nana. Not like that's a bad thing or anything, but its kind of awkward...

Nana stared at me for a second, before breaking out into a big smile. "Oh, we can do all sorts of things! I only had Tsu-kun when he was younger, and Lambo-kun now, and I-Pin-chan doesn't like these kinds of things, plus Bianchi-chan is too mature. I never got to have a mother-daughter bonding time. Do you think that Aria-san would be angry?"

I shook my head. "No, as a matter of fact, I think she'd be pleased."

Nana beamed. "Well, let me go get my purse and we can go out to the town."

I smiled. "That'll be nice."

If it was anyone else in the world, I probably would've slapped them before leaving. But this was Nana Sawada, one of the kindest women in the world. I would never be able to slap her. Plus her husband is like second-in-command of the mafia world and her son is a mafia-boss-in-the-making. I'd die, before I escaped Japan.

"So, Mama." I swung my arms, keeping an easy pace with her. "Where are we going?"

Nana smiled down at me, warmly. "We're going to go shopping."

...and that's so great, why? "Cool."

"We can get you all sorts of pretty things," Nana went on, her thoughts probably filled with bows, ribbons, lace and...pink. "You'll look adorable!"

Yeah, ya know, cuz adorable is the look that I, a future mafia boss, will be looking for. "Great."

"Then we can go get our hair done, and ooh, maybe our nails!" Nana squealed, perfectly enchanted by the idea. "Oh, this will be so much fun! And then we can stop for cake or sweets somewhere along there!"

I froze. "...did you say...cake?"

Nana nodded. "Cake or sweets."

"LETS GO!" I exclaimed, walking with a renewed fervor to my step that hadn't previously been there. "I want vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, ooh, maybe coffee and then some-"

She laughed. "Of course, of course!"

Nana held out a pink dress. "Yuni-chan, what do you think of this one?"

I eyed it. It was fairly simple (as in comparison to those other...things that Nana had suggested. Yeah, those ones had been rejected, fiercely.), a sundress with a knee-length skirt, slightly poofed (but not like, Snow White poof. I'm not that outrageous.) sleeves, and those fancy creases where the skirt started. "If I can get it in white, then I'll go with it."

Nana disappeared behind a rack for a moment, pulling out a white one. "Ta-dah!"

I nodded. "Very nice. I'll get it."

"So, what hair style do you want, Yuni-chan?" Nana asked, fingering my bluish-green locks.

Real Yuni's hair had been really short, like her chin-length, when she was younger and really long in the back. I didn't like copying her, exactly, so my hair was long, like to my waist, all the way around. But if I was gonna go mafia soon, and things were gonna get dangerous...

I stared at myself in the mirror. "Umm, do you think that shoulder-length and bangs would be good? But I don't want to look like Rock Lee..."

Nana clearly didn't get the reference but hmm-ed, thinking. "Why do you want to cut your hair so much?"

Uhh, because if I'm in a fight (which I probably won't be, considering how I'm four and have serious violence issues) with some asshole and they pull my hair, I'm screwed? "Because I'll be that much more awesome with it gone."

Nana sweatdropped. "Short will be cute..."

I nodded. "Of course it will be."

Nana laughed. "How do you know that?"

"I'm prodigious, of course."

My hair was scissored away, little-by-little. Seriously, I felt like my identity was being cut off. I whimpered each time I heard the scissors snip.

Nana gasped when she saw me.

I paled. "Fuck, it's that bad?!"

Nana frowned for a second. "No swearing."

"Sorry." Not.

"No, your hair is...so cute!" she squealed, handing me a mirror (WHERE DOES SHE KEEP IT?!).

My hair was short, incredibly short (well, in comparison to what it was, previously.), and I looked exactly like Real Yuni (well, I haven't gotten my paint splatter thingy tattoo yet, but it'll probably happen soon.). Well, there ain't no backin' out now.

"Can we go get cake now?"

Nana daintily ate her piece of red velvet (I could tell. By the scent. That's how professional [and prodigious] I am.) cake, watching me, amused. "What kind of cake is it now?"

I was blind-folded, trying cake by cake. "This is a layered pound cake, filled with strawberry jam, with buttercream frosting."

"How many layers?"

"Three." my reply was instantaneous.

She set a new cake in front of me. "What kind of cake is it now?"

I stabbed my fork into it, munching on it, thoughtfully. "Chocolate layer cake, with chocolate frosting and raspberry filling. Four layers."

Nana applauded. "Wow! Yuni-chan, you're amazing!"

I peeled off my blindfold, grinning, victoriously at the plates (and plates, and plates, and plates) of empty cakes. "Nah. I'm just...the prodigious cake professional."

"Wanna bet?" someone challenged, stalking up to our table.

I blinked, examining the person. Was that...Mochida? The guy who was like king of the perverts to Kyoko in like, the first episode?

"Yeah, actually. I'm running low on cash, with only like 1, 000 US dollars left for my plane trip... How am I gonna buy the next Pokemon Rangers?" I asked, sarcastically.

...and why are you going around, challenging four-year-olds?! I wanted to add, but I didn't. Considering how I was four and Nana was here (So I couldn't be all biting his leg and stuff) and he was so much bigger than me, there wasn't anyway I would get out of a fight with him. Plus, this guy probably wasn't above beating children. AND I'M A CHILD.

Mochida sneered. "I am the best cake taster in this town, kid. And there ain't no way you could beat me."

I gave him a flat look. "I'm four and I know that I can beat you. And being the best cake tester in town isn't necessarily an honor."

"Why you little-!" he began, but then closed his eyes and calmed himself. "I'm willing to bet you 9, 000 yen that you can't figure out the type of a cake before I can."

Ah. Screw being nice for Nana.

"You know, cake is usually preferred by women, than men. That makes you more female than male." I informed him, swinging my feet. "Plus, some women are ashamed to be seen eating cake and you're here, flaunting it around. So that makes you below a female, if you think about it. That is, if you have enough brain cells to be able to think. And do you always challenge four-year-olds?"

Mochida growled. "If I can challenge someone, I can! Take the deal, or leave it, brat. Or maybe, you should go running home to your bitch of a mommy, here."

Well...I do want that new Pokemon Rangers...what else would I play on the way back to Italy? Plane trips from Japan to Italy are about 1, 000 US dollars. And I had a little over 1, 000 US dollars left. If I wanted that game, then I would have to take Mochida's deal, which was about 100 US dollars.

I would be able to make it without Mochida's deal. Plus, if I lost, then I wouldn't be able to make it back to Italy.

But this bastard here, just insulted Nana Sawada. And for that, he would die.

"I'll take it, old man." I smirked.

Nana gasped. "Really, Yuni-chan? That's a lot of money... You don't have to-"

"Mama." I said, facing her. "I'm doing this for not only my pride, but yours. And Tsuna's. And Iemitsu's. Well, not really. They're not here and Mochida doesn't even know you're related to Tsuna. Yeah, nevermind that, this is for me. Plus, I'm making him pay for the cake and getting a hundred US dollars outta dis. It's so worth it."

Nana bit her lip, but nodded.

Is this really the best kind of fight I can get myself into? I sweatdropped at myself. Lambo will be off, fighting Leviathan soon, for reals, and here I am, fighting Mochida over cake for money. I'm so pathetic. Normal mafioso? Gun fights. Me? Cake-eating contests. That's so below everyone else, its almost degrading. Actually, it is degrading.

A waitress set a plate in front of Mochida and I, both of us blindfolded. "It's the same cake. Whoever identifies it first wins."

I nodded. Mochida nodded.

WE ARE TAKING THIS FAR TOO SERIOUSLY FOR A BET. I internally screamed. AND MOCHIDA SUCKS FOR CHALLENGING FOUR-YEAR-OLDS. YEAH, HE SHOULD GO DIE.

"Go!" the waitress signaled.

I took a bite of the cake, tasting it, carefully.

"Layered almond cake, with passionfruit buttercream frosting and pear compote filling topped with ginger." Mochida and I said, simultaneously.

DAMN IT, HE'S GOOD.

The waitress blinked. "Umm, yes. How many layers?"

I sucked up the rest of the cake. "Four layers."

He may be good, but...

Mochida growled. "Three."

"...actually, Mochida-san, it's four layers. The girl wins-" the waitress never got to finish her sentence.

...he's not prodigious.

"HELL YEAH!" I rejoiced leaping out of my seat, snatching up his money and dancing around the shop. "POKEMON RANGERS, HERE I COME!"

.

.

.

.

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There is nothing better than cake. NOTHING.

Extended Ending.

At GameStop...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU JUST SOLD THE LAST POKEMON RANGERS?!"

I facepalmed while writing this, like thirty-thousand times. Compared to what the other kids her age are doing, Yuni's kind of useless, isn't she? Maybe I should give her a weapon...

Not Yuni + Weapon = Destruction Worse Than Byakuran.

Or maybe not...

Reviews~

Meli-chan27 - I miss you, HDWM Tsuna...you were so hot... thanks for the review.

GreenDrkness - Yeah, Chrome's kind of important...so it'd be bad to cut her out of the thing. Thanks for the review.

Neovongolaprimo - Like, really, what anime am I not obsessed with? I just started Fairy Tail AND One Piece (At the same time 0_o). That joke was hilarious, really. Keep telling me them, bro. They're hilarious, lol. Thanks for the review!

Paigecat - It's not that awesome...its average~ AVERAGENESS IS COOL. Thanks for the review.

KatoKimeka-chan - I'M SORRY FOR MY LACK OF FUNNY-NESS. I APOLOGIZE. *bangs head against wall* Thanks for the review.

Hanamizuki-Kokoro - If there was a 'who is the most perverted guardian?' award, either Mukuro (who wants to take people's bodies...) or Hibari (bite to death? There HAS to be some kind of hidden motive there.) or Yamamoto (who has the scariest rape face, EVER.) or Gokudera (dynamite? That's BEGGING for perverted jokes.) or Tsuna (who strips. In public.) or Ryohei (there a lot of things you can do TO THE EXTREME.) or Lambo (admit it. He probably has hordes of women, in the future.) would win. Yeah, basically everyone but Chrome. Thanks for the review.

MeLikesROFL - I'll try, bro. I'LL TRY. Thanks for the review.

Michiyo - Lyrics make things 50% more awesome. True story. Thanks for the review.

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Expect an update...next weekend or sooner. (I'm sleepy~)

SUPERBOWL. Who are YOU rooting for?

LeoInuyuka