The Tea Party, Part 3: Mission: Meet the Family

Sweetopia

"I don't believe this place! This is a nightmare!" Mr. Jelly said as the Brotherhooders explored the town of Whole Cake. "We need to get these people to the Dentist Planet pronto!"

"What I can't believe is that you're actually RELATED to that hag." Cuppa Joe replied. "Then again, you do go a little crazy at the sound of taffy."

"T-T-T-T-T-T-TAFFY?!" The dentist panicked.

"CHEW IT!" Lunch Lady shoved a steak into his mouth. "It's a damn good thing we're all related, because this is the closest the Brotherhood will come to setting foot on this planet!"

"Ixnay on the hotherbood." Joe replied. "As long as we're here, let's collect as much info on this queen as we can. My only concern is if KND operatives will be there, too."

Meanwhile, Lala Stork rented a Lakitu Tour Cloud. She, her brother Bartie, his wife Virginia, and their kids Terry and Lola rode the cloud across Fryburg, a town of French fry buildings. "Fryburg is merely a small, salty piece of paradise!" Lala began, using a microphone for effect. "As you can plainly see, every object and piece of land on Sweetopia is edible. Anything can fill your tummy on this planet, therefore nobody goes hungry. Technology and electrical items are baked with dough used for Electro Cookies, popular pastries for Birkan Nimbi. For currency, we have Chocolate Coins wrapped in either gold, bronze, or platinum foil, depending on their taste. The more valuable coins or items are, the tastier they are, but then you won't have them."

"Why would we do that when we can eat anything else?" Lola asked.

"Everybody has unique tastes, Lola." Lala smiled, winking her forehead eye.

"Is that why you pirates still steal candy from everywhere else?" Terry asked smugly.

"But of course! Every candy in every country or world has its own exotic taste and flavor. And although you can eat anything here, most of the landscape tastes awful with everyone's feet marching over it, and the fact that this planet is millions of years old. Food tastes a lot better when it's cooked by hand or by oven."

"POTATOOOEEES!" The five whipped to their left as a giant girl tore the roof off a restaurant. The 18-year-old giant had light-gold eyes and brown hair in a ponytail, along with a green sweater, black pants with a silver belt, a brown jacket with Big Mom's Jolly Roger, and brown boots. As madness filled her eyes, she dug her hand into the restaurant, grabbing a handful of screaming potatoes and throwing them into her mouth. As she munched them into mush, she mumbled, "These aren't Sweikah Potatoes. NONE of these are Sweikah Potatoes." After taking a big swallow, she rose to full height and bellowed, "WHEN CAN I HAVE MY SWEIKAH POTATOOOEEEEES?!"

"Oh, don't mind her." Lala said. "She's our cousin, Sasha Blouse. She has food cravings like the rest of us, but she's like a big sister to everyone here! She's also an Amazon, so she's good with a sword."

"She's also kinda destroying the town like a Lego set." Lola remarked.

"Like a big sister would!" Virginia beamed.

Ignoring the rampaging giant in the background, the Tour Cloud flew over a church. "For generations, people honored and worshipped Great Grandma like a goddess, praying that one day, she could walk upon their world. Scientists developed special candies infused with Bang Gas that were designed to help their bodies grow; Gigantification, as you could guess."

"Hold on, that sounds like the same crap Caesar Clown was trying to feed kids!" Terry remembered.

"It certainly is!" Lala grinned. "Who do you think gave him the materials? Gigantification has been a topic of interest for scientists for years, based off the horrid experiments the demons used to perform on children in days past. Only, remove the part with turning them to flesh-eating monsters and make them competent soldiers for battle. The Linlin Family was especially fixated on the project due to their ancestor's origins. And although we're not all related, nearly everyone on this planet possesses candy in their veins. We find that it helps us adapt with Gigantification much better."

"You mean you actually want to be a giant?" Bartie asked.

"Well, it sure would've benefited me when I was little! Besides, it's what Her Majesty wishes for everyone. She wishes for all her family and subjects to grow closer to her, not just in size, but in spirit. …Which brings us to a rather new phase of our religion. You see, Queen Sherry was revived with the heart of Pink Diamond from Planet Emera, and our Gem crewmen explained to us how it worked. Pink Diamond was able to take peoples' souls and spread them to objects. She could swallow whole souls or pieces of souls, but doing so would reduce a person's lifespan."

"Well, that isn't twisted at all." Virginia remarked.

"And with her power, Queen Sherry is able to conjure spirits of Psychic Chi, and they would work to collect Pieces of Soul from everyone every week. People lose one day of life force every week, and it all goes directly to Her Majesty, who has since grown ever so closer to her subjects. However, if people refuse to pay, then they must be banished from the world. Sadly, some people were frightened by this new custom, and so they fled."

"Can't really say that I blame them." Terry said.

"So, Pudding, I see you brought some fresh meat." The family about-faced, shocked that a pink-haired man with a slender, muscular physique showed up on the cloud.

"Oh, Hisoka. I didn't expect you back so soon." Lala replied with furrowed eyes.

"We caught wind of a crisis in Fryburg. Figured it was Potato Girl. While I let Cassiopea handle this, I figured I would come meet the new members of the family." Hisoka approached the kids, bending over them with a seductive smile. "Mmm, a vampire. You'll fit right in." he said to Lola. "And as for you… well, you look rather average." he said to Terry.

"Who the frick are you, anyway?"

"Why, I'm your big cousin, Hisoka!" The circus man playfully pinched Terry's cheek. "More specifically, the kind of cousin that shoves you to the ground and twists his knuckles into your skull."

"Okay, buddy, you can stop touching my son now." Virginia gripped his right arm and tried to pull it away. "W-What the-?!" She realized her fingers were stuck to his skin like glue.

Hisoka whipped around and wrapped his left arm around Ginny's body, his fingers still glued to Terry's cheek. "I ate the Gum-Gum Fruit, sweetheart. I'm like that annoying piece of gum you just can't get off your shoe." He blew a bubblegum and popped it. The carnie flipped off the cloud with his extended arms whirling and he SLAMMED them against the salty road. Terry began bleeding from the head as Hisoka lifted him up. "And not to rub salt in your wound, but if you're going to live here, you'll need to look the part." He wiped the blood off with his finger.

Terry's shadow, Tael struggled to pull his master away, but he was bound to Hisoka via his stretched, gummy skin. "Who said I want to live here?! I'm coming to your damn birthday party and letting that be the end of it!"

"Are you really certain, boy?" Hisoka blew his gum again. "Grandma would be heartbroken if you don't stick around. And you don't want to-" He was suddenly SQUISHED under a giant boot, freeing Terry.

"Cousin Lala, do you have any Sweikah Potatoes?!" Sasha asked, her face level with the Tour Cloud. The Stork Family had full view of her manic eyes. "Lady Pea said she would be home HOURS ago!"

"Calm down, Silly Sasha!" a little girl's voice called. "We have a potato right here!" Sasha looked up behind her, and her mouth stretched wide. The Ivory Castle was holding a giant dark-pink potato by some rope, and it was steaming. "We just had to have Cousin Taco cook it." said an 8-year-old girl with green hair and a white dress.

In a moment, Sasha plopped her rear on the road and shook the town, sitting cross-legged as she feasted on the potato in her arms. Lala decided to land the cloud as the five Storks stood before the Amazon. "Sasha, I'd like you to meet my family! This is my brother Bartie, Virginia, Lola, and Terry."

"Oh, so these are the vampire kids!" Sasha said through chews before swallowing a piece. "They're so cute! Hey, my name's Sasha. You want some of my potato?"

"Your brain is a potato." Hisoka replied, smooshed against the sole of her boot.

"Stop being a couch potato and get your butt up!" He was approached by the little green-haired girl.

"Whatever you say, Miss Pea." Hisoka forced his sticky body off the shoe and reformed his dimensions.

"Who's this little girl?" Terry asked.

"Duh, she's Commander Cassiopea!" Sasha replied. "'Course, we just call her Pea. She's our little cutie!"

"I like to collect flowers and make masks!" Pea beamed. "What do you like to do?"

"I like blood." Lola replied simply.

"Why would they let a kid be a commander?" Terry asked.

"Why would they let kids run a whole organization?" Pea asked with hands on hips. "We children are much smarter than adults, you should know."

"You bet we are!" Sasha cheered, grabbing Terry and Lola in either hand and raising them high. "KIDS FOREVER! WOOT, WOOT!"

"But you're an adult." The twins chorused.

"And hey, don't worry about that Hisoka creep." Sasha held them closer to her face and winked. "I'll straighten him out for ya if he gives you any more trouble."

"You're like the best cousin ever!" Lola cheered.

"I hate family gatherings." Hisoka sighed, walking away as Sasha and the Storks stuck tongues at him. Pea skipped alongside the Carnian.

"Didja get the blood?" Pea asked.

"Yes, it's right here." Hisoka held up a vial of blood. "Are you really sure this will be enough?"

"We can always get more blood! Easy-peasy!"

Planet Hyrule; Hebra Mountains

There is a rumor that the Hyrule Kids Next Door has had the lowest passing rate for cadets for two years. This was because, in the history of all KNDs, the Hyruleans had one of the cruelest known Drill Sergeants. Her training was so intense that the Supreme Leader was forced to dismiss her. Unfortunately, other sectors feared she was too good for them, and she refused to accept a meager desk or spy job. So, she assumed the role of an Advanced Training Sergeant, one who very few operatives would dare approach.

And today, Cheren Uno was one of those reckless operatives, having ventured to the depths of frigid Hebra Mountains. He and Panini approached Bisky and Gon, seeing a wood cabin behind them, along with a gaping hole. Bisky walked over and started sniffing Cheren's body, much to his confusion. "Wow, you actually did 1,000 push-ups. There may be hope for you yet, Cheren."

"After all I've been through, I'm not scared of a little training regimen." Cheren replied confidently.

"Alright, then off with your shirt."

"Huh?!"

"Do you want to get stronger or not?" she asked with hands on her hips. "Some stories say that Link climbed mountains without a shirt OR shoes. But we'll get to that later."

"Oh, fine." Cheren ditched his shirt.

Armed with only a bow, Bisky led him to the edge of the chasm. "First, we'll try to spark your Observation Haki. Do you see those targets?"

They were overlooking a chasm with several targets, glowing blue with Sheikah symbols. "So, you just want me to shoot targets? I'm guessing I'll be blindfolded."

"We can save that for later." Bisky smiled proudly. "For now, I want you to jump off the cliff and shoot four targets as you're falling."

"Heheheh! C'mon, Bisky, no person can do that."

As a response, the sergeant took his bow and leapt off the cliff, and Cheren barely had time to blink before she sniped the targets, then splashed in the water below. In a few seconds, Bisky hopped her way back up the cliff. "Cheren, you have so many operatives that have done things no other people can do. As their Supreme Leader, you have to be able to keep up with them."

"I get it, but I can't think of any operative of mine who could do that."

"Well, you'll be the first, won't you? But before you actually begin, I want you to make a promise to me. Only when you make this promise can I truly believe you are committed to my training."

"What kind of promise?"

"If you are not able to pass my training, you must leave the Kids Next Door."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me. The KND have no room for someone that'll hold them back. If you can't make that promise, then I'm throwing you off this mountain right now."

"You have no right askin' him ANYTHING!" Panini gripped her by the collar again. "YOU'RE the one that came wantin' to train him, YOU'RE the one who just thinks she knows him when YOU haven't even EXISTED before-"

"Calm down, Panini." Cheren ordered. "Sigh… it's a promise." He took the bow back.

"Good!" Bisky smiled encouragingly, raising a hand. "Now, BREAK a leg!" She gave him a playful smack on the shoulder—Cheren screamed, the force sending him down the chasm. "Oh, and if you fall down, just climb back up! Now, while you're doing that, I need some tea." And she casually walked back into her fire-lit cabin.

After a few minutes, Cheren was able to climb out of the pit, his soggy body nearly freezing. Cheren pulled back his bow, jumped off, loosed an arrow—he missed the target and splashed. He climbed his way out again, stretched his limbs, and leapt off—he pulled the bow too fast and the arrow fell short by the time he splashed in the water.

Panini and Gon watched as Cheren climbed out and tried again four more times. "Boy, I don't envy your leader, Panini. Just watching him is making my old scars itch!" Gon laughed.

Panini said nothing and walked up to Bisky's cabin, Gon following out of curiosity. She found the sergeant happily sitting by the fire and sipping tea. "Biscuit…"

"I told you, it's Bisky!"

"Right, ahem. Look, as Cheren's friend, Ay'm just a little worried about his health, and I feel like… well, he might not be ready for this type of training."

"This boy is a ruby waiting to be polished!" Bisky proclaimed with glimmering eyes. "And I'm going to tap into that hidden potential!"

"Ay'm just saying, most people start with something basic!"

"He should be beyond the basics at this point."

"Ya know, Ay've been training him before YOUR planet even exist-"

"So, why didn't he go to you instead?" This question threw Panini off. "All I'm hearing is that you don't want this training for him. You want him to go back to your old ways. But at that rate, he'll never catch up. Because no matter how strict you think you are, you'll always be worried for him. Because you love him."

Bisky marched up and jabbed a finger at Panini's nose. "And he knows this. That's why he chose me. So, if you care about him, you'll let me do my thing. 'kay?" And with another jab, she pushed Panini into Gon as they fell out of the cabin.

They heard another splash and waited for Cheren to climb out of the hole again. Already bruises and cuts were present on his form, but he was readying another arrow. "Aw, don't worry, Panini." Gon said as he helped her up. "Bisky doesn't compare people to gems unless she has a real good feeling about them." When Cheren jumped off, he was able to strike a target, but splashed before he could get the next arrow. "Haha! Same time tomorrow, I bet he'll be able to hit five!"

Luna Nova; Akko's Room

To my friend, Lotte Jansson, thank you so much for all that you've done for me. I leave to you my Chariot Cards. And to Jasminka, you have been a very kind and caring friend, so I leave to you all my lunch money. And Diana, I didn't know how to bring this up, but I've always-

"Get out of there, Akko." Diana ordered.

"YIPE!" The girl sprung up, curled under her blanket like a turtle. "I wasn't writing anything!"

"Akko, we need you to calm down and focus. I admit, we dug ourselves into a hole, but if we use our heads, we can think of a way to keep us and Luna Nova safe."

"Yeah, so make another Happy Fun-Time Project already." Sucy suggested, experimenting with mushrooms at her desk.

"As if Akko could actually put on a better show than the Fairy Sisters." Hannah retorted.

"You should've just let yourself get eaten by that queen." Barbara followed. "Now thanks to you, we lost 50 years of our life! We won't even live to our early fifties! ! Oh God, I can already FEEL the wrinkles!"

"This isn't the time to pin blame on one-another." Diana stated. "If I'm being honest, we're quite lucky that Great Grandma seems to be fond of Akko. Otherwise, she would've destroyed Luna Nova already. We've been given a chance to lead everyone to safety."

"You're right." Lotte replied. "You put on a great show, Akko, but this is beyond our expertise."

"Yeah…" Akko looked down reflectively. She felt so glad to have another fan, one who was moved by her magic. Yet, was it worth it?

"Metamorphie Faciesse! Metamorphie Faciesse!" The 6-year-old whipped the wand over and over, but bore no results. "Nothing's happening, Akko… What if I don't have magic like you?"

"I didn't really discover my magic until I was 14." Akko replied. "But it didn't stop me from trying! Still, it's not a big deal if you don't have magic. One day, you'll find something you ARE good at and be the best you can be at it!"

"But I wanna be magic like you."

"Well, then keep studying and practicing, and maybe you'll find your magic! Just never forget to believe in yourself. Remember, Gabriel: believing in yourself is your magic!"

"Believing is my… magic?"

"Yep! Never forget that!"

"…You know, what if I could give Queen Sherry a show?" Akko asked.

"Are you insane?!" Barbara shouted.

"Just hear me out! Listen, it really sounds like she was inspired by me. And if she were, then… I would really hate to disappoint her."

"It's a trick, you idiot!" Amanda stated. "She's obviously leading us into a trap!"

"If she wanted to kill us, she had the perfect chance to do so right there! She really wants me to do a show for her. And if I can make her happy enough, maybe she won't hurt us."

"Akko, she expects me to marry one of her grandchildren," Diana recapped, "and there's apparently someone filling in for me. What if she finds out this fact? She'll attack Luna Nova either way. And even if the imposter marries the grandson, she can still take over the school."

They heard a knock at the door. Akko went to answer it, finding Professor Ursula. "Hey, Akko. Just came to check up on you."

"Thanks, Professor. We're doing fine."

"Okay. …Sigh, I'm really sorry this had to happen to you, Akko. We really don't want you to feel bad."

"Hola, Akko!" Their neighbor, Verde peeked in. She was a Spanish girl with green hair in pigtails and starry eyes. "How's the magic show comin'?"

"I haven't started, yet…"

"Yeah, I expected that. Just make sure to let them know that I was never close to you, we were just neighbors."

"Verde, go back to your room." Ursula ordered.

"Okay, I got more packing up to do. Say, I gotta make room in my pigtails, you guys want any of my stuff?" She casually took an electric piano and a ball-in-a-cup out of her pigtails.

"Mmm!" Constanze perked up at the piano.

"Back to your room!" Ursula shoved her away.

Akko glanced at her bed, seeing the party invitation. "But seriously, we are making evacuation plans." Ursula told her. "Where will you go, Akko?"

"We aren't going anywhere!" Akko stated firmly. "We ARE going to give Queen Sherry a good show! And the first thing I'm gonna do is head to Sweetopia and talk to her!"

"That's the spirit, Akko wait, what?" Ursula's nervous smile turned to shock.

"Yeah! I'll visit Queen Sherry and determine what she likes! That way, I can be sure to give her a show she'll never forget!"

"Hehehe… Seriously, Akko."

"DIANA!" Wangari suddenly zipped up from the hall with a letter. "This letter came addressed to you! Oh, and I'll miss you when you're gone, Akko." And she ran off.

"STOP DOUBTING ME!"

Diana picked up the letter and read it. "It's from my family. They… oh, no!"

"What is it?" Amanda asked.

"It says the Big Mom Pirates are going to take them to Sweetopia in two days for a family dinner. They want them to meet Jaune Pringle. I already informed them of the impostor situation… but part of me feels I should attend somehow."

"Then I guess we're going to Sweetopia either way." Amanda figured.

Sweetopia; Fryburg

"Ahhhhh. That potato was amazing." Sasha sighed in relief, lying down outside the town with her legs arched up. "But now I don't think I can move."

"I can't believe you actually finished the whole thing." Lola said.

"Our family is capable of consuming large amounts." Lala replied. "But it usually gets digested pretty quickly."

"But that potato was stolen from somewhere, wasn't it?" Bartie asked.

"It's part of being pirates, Bartie. Besides, I heard the KND steal plenty of their materials, too."

"Not in recent years!"

"It's weird because I always thought Candy Pirates steal candy." Virginia inquired.

"The Big Mom Pirates welcome all kinds of food into their tummies. Our Breakfast Division is assigned to steal breakfast foods like cereal or eggs, the Lunch Division steals things like pizza or burgers, Supper steals snacks like soda or chips, and Dinner steals soups, steak, or potatoes. And I'm part of the Dessert Division, which is run by the Core Linlin Family. Our commander used to be Charlotte Linlin."

"The old Big Mom, you mean." Terry replied.

"Yep. Until she and her old officers were beaten by Sector V. Still, they were just lucky to not have to go against the whole crew."

"And how many are in the whole crew?"

"Too many for me to count." Lala winked. "But if you feel like sticking around, you might get to meet the important ones."

"We don't see why not." Bartie shrugged. "No point in a family vacation if we can't meet the whole family."

"Say, where are you guys staying, anyway?" Sasha asked.

"We were gonna stay at Aunt Lala's house." Lola replied. "Wanna tag along?!"

"Sounds good to me!"

"SWEET! Sleepover with Cousin Sasha!"

"What are you, crazy?!" Terry shouted.

"Relax, Ter, I'm sure we'll find some boy cousins for you to paint nails with."

"That's not what I meant!" Terry flushed. "Lola, they're the Big Mom Pirates. Sooner or later, they're gonna be our enemies."

"Yeah, but what if they're not?" Lola whispered. "I mean, every family has members you like or don't like. I think it's kinda like that."

"Just don't get too close to them. This is a spy mission, remember?"

"Hey, what're you whispering about?" Sasha asked, reaching her right hand to lightly pinch Terry's head. "Come on, spill it!"

"Let me go!" Terry muffled through forced puckered lips, the family snickering.

Lala gasped when a ringing was heard, and she answered a chocolate bar cellphone. "Minister Goomnut? …Oh, is that so? Well, I'll be sure to be there! 'kay, thanks! Bye!" She hung up. "Well, it sounds like my 'fiancé' finally wants to meet me."

"Fiancé?" Bartie repeated. "Oh, that's right, you said that Grandma arranged for you to be married."

"Uh-huh. And in two days, Grandma is inviting us and other arranged couples to a dinner. Naturally, they're expected to attend the Tea Party, too. This is what my fiancé looks like." She showed them a picture.

The four's jaws dropped at the sight of him: he was a round-headed skeleton with a spider-web tuxedo. "JACK SKELLINGTON?!"

They heard a loud rumbling. "Wellp, I'm hungry again." Sasha said.

Whole Cake Chateau

"Is it strawberry jam, or somebody's blood? Can't say I care either way! The Teeeaaa Party from Heeeell!"

"Ma ma ma maaaaa!" Great Grandma's Throne Room was always joyful with all her pastries singing in unison. "It's wonderful being alive again! Before now, I had to rely on my spirit crewmen to give orders to my crew. Now I can finally see all my family, face-to-face! Including you… Augustus, liebling."

She seemed to hold up a tattered doll by her grinning face, but any normal size being could tell it was a teenager: he was Captain of the Marzipan Pirates, Augustus Fizzuras. The Titan grandma gently petted his little blonde head. "Now, why were you with that Mandy brat when we first met, Augustus? Why were you fighting your family? More importantly, why have you been helping the Slag Pirates attack my crew's bases for the last three years?"

"Because your insane granddaughter tried to turn Earth into a giant candy cluster! And I didn't create this planet for you, I created it for ALL pirates!"

"MA MA MA! You were thinking of US when you ventured to New Galaxia, and you played your part PERFECTLY! You, Augustus, who took part in the rebirth of the universe, are living PROOF that the Linlins are immortal! I want you to be the symbol of our family! I mean, why would you abandon us for that amateur Mandy?!"

"I'm not working for Mandy, and I'm only allies with Slag. Otherwise, I'm the captain of my own crew."

"Oh, that teeny-tiny crew of infants? When will you understand, Augustus, a man who belongs to no empire is nothing. One day, the Linlins will command everything, and you will either cling onto my gown or be snuffed out. I'll ask one more time: return to my family! Let us catch up after years of separation!"

"All the races come together! A land to be happy, forever and ever~"

"The answer is 'no,' Grandma." Augustus pulled out a lollipop from his collar and began to suck it. "I will leave this planet and return to my crew."

"Oh, I don't think so. You're coming to my party whether you want to or not! Ernesto, Pea!"

Augustus weakly twisted his head around to see a giant Tostarenan walk in, with the little girl riding his sombrero. "Grandma, is that Cousin Augsus?" Pea asked.

"Great, another one?" Augustus sighed, thinking of someone else who mispronounced his name.

"Play the song for him!" Grandma ordered.

"You heard him, Taco!" Pea beamed, pulling out a wooden ocarina.

Do do do, do do do, doodle-doodle do, do do doot doot doooo… do doot doot dooooo…

Pea played a rather fast, fun tone with her ocarina, with Taco dancing and shaking maracas to her rhythm. As music notes flowed out of the maracas, Augustus began to feel heavy, his vision swirling around. The music repeated, and the faces of Taco, Pea, and Grandma's creepy grin flashed in his eyes, making the captain ever more dizzy. When Augustus finally lost consciousness, his body flashed, and they all watched as a mask fell on the floor before the queen's feet.

Pea jumped down and walked over to pick up the mask. She smiled at it humorously: the mask resembled Augustus, frowning coolly and had a fake lollipop sticking out. "Ooooo. Cool mask." Zeus said, looming over the child.

"Her music is so beautiful!" Prometheus beamed. "Kokiri like her always appreciate the classics."

"Oi, I helped too, amigo!" Taco shouted. "She can do nothing without my musicbending, no? SIN MUSICA!" He danced.

"Keep that mask handy, Pea. We'll mount it for everyone to see at my Tea Party. Also… did you get the blood?"

"Yes, we did, Gramma."

"Perfect. Now, we just wait for Lala to do her part. Hopefully without complications."

"A beautiful show of magic and joy, to make the fairies cryyyyy! Or the witches, theeeey will diiiieeee~"

Elsewhere in the Florae Galaxy; Historia

A world born from the New Big Bang, constructed by the mind of Aisa from Earth KND Sector W7. This world exists in the past: societies and cultures were those that have existed in Earth's ancient times. For instance, Wano Country has people and buildings that greatly resemble those of Feudal Japan. There is also Shandia, a lush green land where winged Indians known as Shandians make their home. Traditions never die in this world, and time never seems to move forward, although new people are born every generation.

The Galaxian Government is determined to maintain the historical atmosphere of this planet and abide by its rules. Technology is forbidden on this planet, as is modern clothing, and any tech discovered must be destroyed immediately. That includes spaceships. The only exceptions are Intergalactic Travel ships, which will briefly drop tourists off in a designated region before leaving. Once their vacation time is over, the company will return to Historia to pick them up at the same drop-off point. If they are not present, the company will conduct a search for the tourists. The government monitors the atmosphere around Historia in watch of any unauthorized ships entering the planet.

Even if one owns a spaceship, the only legal way to access this planet is by visiting an Intergalactic Travel station at any planet. They will be given clothing that befits the desired region of Historia, while their normal clothes and pieces of tech will be stored safely. If any items are lost, you are promised compensation.

A mouse Mobian had booked a flight with Intergalactic Travel. The travel ship docked at a space station sealed in a glass bubble, and Penelope was led by a squat Mobian owl to the changing rooms. "Here, you can choose from and change into clothing that's befitting of Historia's culture." the owl said in a timid tone. "We'll keep your personal items safe and secure. Any form of candy, sweets, or junk food won't be allowed on the planet either, so if you have any, eat it up. We'll exchange your currency with that of the intended destination. And, uh… that's about it."

"Much obliged." Penelope said nonchalantly.

With preparations complete, she rode the travel vessel to the planet. The ship descended from the starry sky, unseen by any denizens of Wano Country. The ship landed on an open patch of ground within a sakura forest as Penelope disembarked, observing the cherry forest in awe. "You'll reach Kawa Town if you just follow this road." instructed the owl. "I'd help escort you, but I gotta get this ship back to base. Please be careful, and don't lose your lanterns."

"Worry about yourself first."

Penelope patiently crossed the forest path. Once at the edge of it, a valley was splayed with a town across the river. "An inn, right?" Penelope repeated to herself. With a whiff of her nose, she picked up a filthy scent from the river. "It really is polluted…"

She crossed a bridge over the river and arrived at Kawa Town. Few people were out at night, but those that were possessed sickly, morbid auras. The gatekeeper, an obese man sitting on a crate, looked up when the group approached. "Thine look informs me that thou art visitor from beyond yonder stars."

"Yonder book thou read me." Penelope spoke the best Japanese she could. "Need place to stayeth."

"Thou shouldst seek shelter in yonder inn." The man pointed at the designated building. "Alas, thou may not awaken to a pleasant breakfast. All fair townsfolk have long abandoned this region. Only a choice stubborn few remain. This includes the innkeeper and his granddaughter."

"It's because of the poison river, right?"

"Verily. We hath sent hunters and swordsmen upstream to determine the cause. Some returned injured, some hath not returned."

"Poor planet."

The inn was run-down and looked rather uncomfortable. When she entered the lobby, she found a long-nosed man at the bedside of an 8-year-old girl with a washcloth over her forehead. The man turned to Penelope with a raised brow. "What strange guest doth make her acquaintanceship?"

"I've been sent here… to find someone."

"Huh? Whom doth thou speak of?"

Penelope stared at the bedridden child. She felt pity as the kid breathed hoarsely, coughing every moment. "That kid is sick from the river, right? Why haven't you left the village?"

"Alas, O-Tama's stubbornness is too great for mine own strength. Months ago, we were visited by another outworlder. Our meeting took place in yonder woods, and O-Tama's heart was vexed by his charisma. After tainting my child with stories of beyond the stars, he taketh his leave, leaving only the promise he wouldst return. Along with magic cube which containeth mountains of sweets."

"Wilt O-Tama ever see thee again, August'n?" O-Tama asked the man with teary eyes.

"I promise you will, Tama!" the teenager replied with a cool smile, pulling out his lollipop. "And next time, I'm gonna sneak you off this planet! All that candy I just gave you is gonna look like cheap junk from the grocery store in comparison."

"It actually IS from the grocery store." Rallo replied.

Penelope took note of the Infi-Cube on the nightstand. "He was actually able to bring an Infi-Cube to this planet? And it's full of candy?"

"My duties entice me to dispose of it, but I canst not see my young one in tears. Alas, 'tis due to her love that she refuseth to leave!"

"Well… maybe I can help with that."

"What dost thou mean?"

Penelope approached the child. "O-Tama, right? I've been sent here… by Augustus's crewmen."

"Huh?!" the man gasped. "Thou art… acquainted with that man?!"

"A…A…August'n…" Tama coughed. "Hast August'n… returneth?"

"August'n has been captured. Captured by a band of evil pirates. And he needs you… to save him."