Serve ’Em Up, Squid Style

The Overtale

"Aranea? Are you here?" Vaati called after landing on the deck of the spider-web covered ship.

"Vaati, you made it!" Aranea Serket cheered. "Did you 8ring the 8lood?"

"Yes. At least Skaios isn't afraid of syringes." He showed her the vial of Skaios' blood. "Why did you want it? Do you plan to make a weapon using his chi?"

"That's not too far off the mark. However, there's a hypothesis I wanted to confirm. And to do so, I want a sample of your 8lood, too."

"M-My blood?" Vaati gave a light chuckle. "Well, whatever makes you happy." He took another syringe and drew a sample of his own. (Play "Auras" from Hunter x Hunter.)

Aranea took both samples and inserted them into a small machine. A DNA monitor displayed signals from them both as Nea studied them through a microscope. "Hmmm… I see… You and Skaios have extremely similar wavelengths."

"We do?"

"Yes, 8ut there's something else unusual. Cells of Dark Chi… some that have taken the shape of demons."

"Let me see." Vaati viewed into the microscope. There were rather bizarre cells that looked like Like-Likes, Bokoblin, or boars. "…You know, this reminds me of something… When I worked with Ganondorf, I heard that the cells inside him resembled common demons. And this chi… there's no doubt, it's…it's him!"

"I'm well aware Ganon was causing trou8le on our homeworld last year. To think he would actually poison the New8orn Project my descendant's friends have 8een working on. 8ack then, they were still eggs, helpless to outside forces."

"But my DNA… Did Ganon take some of my blood with the intention of corrupting Skaios? Is that why we're so similar?"

"It very well may 8e. And if you are, it could mean you two are compati8le. This could help us win the war."

"I don't want to abuse a Firstborn's power."

"I know. …Vaati, would you like to know why my friends and I 8ecame pir8s to 8egin with? We 8elieved in a legend and wanted to see if it was real. It's the story of a powerful King who had 8 Lords working under him, and four knights. However, those four knights committed treason and tried to assassin8 the Lords, so they were sealed in dark dungeons. Legend tells that that King sent his Lords to find the most worthy person of inheriting his Throne. Whoever earns that Throne shall decide the f8 of the cosmos. I wonder if that may 8e the true purpose of the Pir8 War."

"So, whoever becomes the Pirate King will be approved by this 'King'?"

"Yes. 8ut if that happens, our true freedom can never come to 8e. The second I learned that Skaios, the New8orn that my descendant specifically had designed, was an Emperor, I knew I had to serve under him. I knew he could 8ecome a potential candid8. That's why it is imper8ive that Skaios wins this war no matter what." Aranea's dead, milky eyes bore into his soul, as if telepathically burning the urgency of her words. "We can't let such power fall to the Kremlings, or Linlin; even the KND shouldn't be trusted. We must win. No… matter… what…"

"…Just don't lay a hand on my daughter or her friends." (End song.)

Mobius; Rocketship

The Big Grin Pirates were pursued by a fleet of Manky's ships after leaving Sunset Hill, and the chase continued through the night. By the time morning arrived, they had shot down four ships and managed to lose sight of the others by sailing on a river leading into an island.

"Chimney, incoming transmission." April spoke in a tired tone.

"Nyeah, take care of it…" Chimney was already half-asleep.

April turned on the monitor, bringing up Jerome's image. "Sector W7, we'll be arriving at your location shortly. We see no enemy ships around your area, but we must pick up Sally quickly."

"Got ya." April nodded.

April, Anthony, and Apis met on the deck, looking around for a GKND ship. "Whoa!" Anthony gasped when a ship suddenly poofed into being on the jungle shore.

Jerome floated over with Vweeb on his shoulder. "We'll transport Sally in this." Jerome set a tiny, pill-like capsule on the deck, and Vweeb shot it with his Tri-gun to restore it to normal size. The capsule had a window with a mat and pillow. "The inside is refrigerated, so it'll help preserve her. There are other operatives who have died fighting, and we plan to honor them all after our victory."

"Alright. Let's bring her out." Anthony said.

The group carefully brought Sally's body out on a stretcher and had her set inside the capsule. With her wounds sealed and the blood cleaned off, she slept in peace. Anthony softly held her hand and spoke, "I'll smash K. Rool with my own two hands, Sally. He'll pay for everything he did."

They closed the capsule, and Jerome had it warped back to his ship. "We've also gotten in contact with Miguel and had him put through to Aisa. Don't stay here too long, or more troops will come."

"Just get her out of here safely." Anthony said. The aliens returned to the ship, which was then miniaturized as it took flight off of Mobius, unseen by any Kremlings. "Alright, let's hurry to where Fybi is and help back her up. I'm not losing anyone else!"

In her room, Aisa was slouched on her side, her face half-smooshed against her arm as she stared at her phone. A Spanish boy was playing a gentle tune on his guitar. "Well, everyone knows dear Aisa. Her eyes of a crimson brown. Her teeth can puncture a wild bear's skin, and her, uh… knuckles, they poke through her gown."

"That doesn't make sense."

"The original line seemed inappropriate! Ahem, her hair is soaked like blood… She stands in a firm, proud stance… And if I didn't smell like mud… She'd possibly give me a chance."

His corny song sparked a smile on Aisa's face. She scooted the phone closer so it would touch her cheek. "I miss you so much, Miguel."

"I miss you, too. I should have gone with you instead of staying home. A man shouldn't let his girlfriend fight a war."

"You saying I'm not strong enough to fight in war?" she asked with a scowl.

"N-No, no! I'm saying I should've gone to help you! Just like Marco went to help Star. They're fighting together, so why shouldn't we?"

"Hm hm, thanks." She gave a light grin. "But this kind of battle isn't for you, Miguel. You're much too gentle. You're not the kind who could kill every other beast you see. Heck, I can't even hold your hand without squeezing too hard and breaking your fingers."

"Haha, you're right. You would be a monster in battle, Aisa. That's why I believe you'll come home. Just don't be afraid and don't get ambushed again. You're way stronger than that, Aisa!"

Aisa picked up her phone and held it above her. "I know, but sometimes, I like someone to remind me. Mwah!" She kissed the screen. "So, what kind of reward can I expect when I come home?"

"I'll start thinking of a song right away!"

"I'm gonna want more than a song, Miguel." She winked. "So, better get to work!"

"Heheh! Okay, Aisa! Then promise you'll survive!"

"You know it! Love you!" With one last kiss, the call ended. "Phew… I feel much better now!" She leapt off the bed and landed firmly on her feet, punching her palm. "I'm gonna hunt all those nasty Kremlings! Maybe I'll make some new clothes out of their pelts!"

Sweetopia; Breakfast Backstreets

Clouds of toxic smoke covered the skies of the Breakfast Backstreets. Factories reaped the land of its material to produce endless amounts of grains of cereal. The buildings themselves were built like numerous different cereal boxes stacked like shelves at a store. In the ideal situation, children would wander through this town with beaming faces as they contemplated their next morning's meal, but this town was in constant disarray. The cardboard buildings were either torn in chunks or on fire, and gunfire rang everywhere. It was common for Lord Lucky to host Gang Wars in his own city, making his people shoot each other up to win a good meal.

In the midst of a mucky war, the Scooby-Doo Gang approached a toucan's splattered body, lain in a large puddle of red goop. Velma scooped some on her finger and licked it. "Jinkies! This isn't blood. This red ink was meant to deceive us into thinking the culprit was murdered on this very spot."

"That means his body was exploded somewhere else!" Daphne realized. "The question is, where?"

"Well, I know one thing: no Fruit Loops for breakfast, please!" Shaggy shuddered.

"Reah! Ro root roops for reakfast." agreed Scooby, the Minister of Dog Food.

"Well gang, looks like we're dealing with one sick son of a bitch." Fred said.

An Ink Grenade rolled in the middle of them and exploded, drenching them with goop. Inklings swarmed the streets, gunning down the pirates who protected this territory, for every square inch that they colored would be surrendered to the Sky God Pirates. A skateboarding stick of cinnamon was shot in the gut, falling off his board. "NOOOO!" cried his friend, an apple with a face. "Cinnamon! CINNAMOOOON! Dammit, why don't the Breakfast Club do something?! Huh? Is that them now?" The Apple Jack saw a police truck driving up. "Wait… that's not a breakfast truck—WAH!" The truck exploded, and three officers flew out. (Play the intro to Hunger Force!)

The Aqua Teen arrived on the scene! Master Shake, a giant white cup, shot bullets out of his bendy straw into Inklings' heads. An Inkling tossed a grenade at him, but it was destroyed by Frylock's Heat Vision; he was a pack of giant fries with a goatee. He proceeded to melt the Inklings' weapons, all the while a giant lump of meat rolled around and enveloped them in its flesh. With an innocent expression, Meatwad morphed into a cannon and shot the squid kids to the sky, where they would land on bladed fences.

With this street rid of Inklings, the Aqua Teen switched on jetpacks and took flight toward a golden castle, which had two towers propped up in angles and a straight, pointed central tower. They dropped bombs around the city, exterminating any Inkling trash in those areas. With that, they landed on the stairs to the palace, waddling upward with a trail of smoke at their backs. (End song.)

Lucky the Leprechaun's throne room was extremely wide, so that it could support a giant statue of his likeness. His throne was a pot of gold situated in the cock of a gun. "Yo, wat's the hadpling, McDoggy-Dogs?"

"Lucky, we got a bone to pick with you." Frylock said. "We never got your money for the weapons we sent you."

"Yeah, we had to cancel our TV subscription." Shake followed.

"We can't watch Nickelodeon no more." Meatwad said sadly.

"And why's your lazy ass chillin' in your pot, yo' town's being invaded!" Frylock stated.

"Chill out, humdrums, old Lucky ain't got time for no bish-booms. But he got your dough right here, yo." He pulled a lever, and two large brass orbs crashed onto the floor. "A couple o' brick-breakin' brass basher balls oughta load ya."

"What the hell are we supposed to do with two brass balls?!"

"What, can't little Weiner Ball shoot them outta his hole?"

"They look like they can be good cannonballs." Meatwad agreed.

"We do NOT need brass balls, we need money, Lucky!" Frylock argued.

"Why can't Ah have the brass balls?"

"If he can't have them, can I?" Shake asked.

"Ya gotta be real nutty ta turn these balls down." Lucky reasoned.

"Ah wanna ride on one." Meatwad climbed on a brass ball and started rolling around. "Weeeeeehhhhh!"

"Meatwad, get off that ball right now!"

"Yo, we got a putty course over there, lessee if ya get it in da hole." Lucky said.

"'ey, Lucky, Bisabuela wants you at her castle pronto!" said Ernesto Taco, the giant Tostarenan marching into the room. Behind him was General Tsao Chicken. "She wants your gang and Buu to go with her to Mobius. She's gonna fight K. Rool to get her cake back. I'll take little Georgie into my custody."

"Man, don't Big Booty trust me to guard the booty, I ain't done smackin' it!"

"Your tone and demeanor are disgusting." Tsao stated. "Please, hand us the prisoner so we do not have to spend another second here."

Little did Ernesto know of the tiny Stanbot hidden on his sombrero.

In the sea near Breakfast Town, the Shiny Pirates, once known as Sector LN, overviewed the situation on their Stanship. Constanze used her magic remote to transmit the conversation to her friends' ears. "So, Queen Sherbet is planning to travel to Mobius." Diana Cavendish confirmed. "Perhaps this may work in our favor. A confrontation with K. Rool will wear her and her officers down, allowing us a better chance to steal back Akko's life force. But we'll have to plan for an immediate getaway afterwards."

"Let's stay and rescue that prisoner first." Akko insisted. "If they're going to the trouble of moving them, maybe they're important. We can look for other captives, too."

"Yes, you're right. But if you or I go, it may only cause more commotion."

"I got this." Amanda was already climbing out of the ship. "This town is my kinda turf."

"But there's a commander and the Breakfast Club in there!" Hannah argued. "You can't handle them by yourself."

"I'll just blend in with the commotion and swipe the prisoner when they ain't lookin'. If it works at school, it'll work here!" With a grin and a wink, Amanda dove in the sea and swam to shore.

Landing in this town at the same time were Artie, Squam, and Squitaba. "We got a problem, Artie!" Squitaba said, shooting down a toucan with a saber. "The Lunch Commander's ship is here. We're not equipped to deal with someone like that!"

An Apple Jack leapt from behind them with twin pistols, only to be swat away by Haylee's wrench. "Last I checked, that commander was a musicbender. Harry here can deal with that!"

"S-Seriously?!" Harry mildly panicked. "I only came to back you guys up, I ain't in the right groove, yet!"

"Then call your Squid Sisters to hook you up!"

"Let's just save George before they have a chance to move him." Artie said. "This'll help you out, Bro. Let's go!" (Play "Octoling Rendezvous" from Splatoon 2!)

Stage 14: Breakfast Backstreets

Mission: Rescue George King!

The Splatoon charged onto the street, ducking bullet fire coming from the Rice Krispy Platoon. They hid behind a blockade while shooting ink across; the enemy pirates easily dodged the ink, but the true intention was to make a trail for Squam and Squitaba to swim up and ambush them. The Krispies were pummeled with ink and KO'ed. The humans caught up to the Inklings and overlooked a gaping pit that cut across the street. Endless falls of cereal were pouring from the torn buildings and clogging pipes in the pit. "I can have those fixed up in a heartbeat." Haylee said, using a Heli-Pack to float to the ruptures. Using Legoan Style, she swiftly built patches over each hole so the cereal stopped flowing. She then returned to her team and used her wrench to twist a giant bolt, causing gushes of milk to burst out of the pipes.

The other four jumped across these gushes, landing in a cannon as they readied to blast across town. They saw a chest floating left-and-right and launched with such timing so they could catch it. They landed in a construction zone valley, where the soil was dusty chocolate and milk leaked out of pipes. "AAAAAHH!" A green Inkling was being bit in the neck by a Chip Wolf. Artie shot the wolf to save him, but several other wolves snarled at them. "I guess they just missed that Cookie Crisp!" Artie joked in panic.

"'Shame, 'cause I used to like their commercial." Harry held up a boombox and loaded a CD, blasting annoying music that was harmful to the animals' ears. They were unable to defend their selves from the ink guns. The five travelled down the soil to a swamp of toxic sour milk, likely leakage from the sewer. They hopped on a giant Cheerio that floated like an inner-tube, shooting ink guns in the opposite direction to make it move. Their weight caused it to sink, so they maneuvered toward another Cheerio and jumped to it.

"Hey, something's in the water!" Haylee alerted them to a pair of nasty eyes swimming through the milk. "Blargg!" It was a Milky Blargg, which tried to take a bite of the Cheerio, so the Splatoon filled its big mouth with ink until it retreated.

"Hey! You over there! Get me outta this milk!" They looked and saw a Blooper trapped in a floating cage. "I'm from the Mushroom KND! Are you operatives, too?"

"Yeah, just hang on!" They made their way to the Blooper, switching Cheerios and shooting Blarggs before they could break open his cage. Artie attached a Balloon Fish in order to Fulton the operative. They sailed toward a down-flowing river; the Cheerio no longer sank, but they quickly shot away a series of Blarggs. The Cheerio washed up on a small shore, from which they climbed a ledge out of a ditch in the street—"WHOA!" an Easter Egg grenade exploded just a few feet away.

They carefully peeped up, seeing fellow Inklings trying to shoot Ninja Bunnies whom were throwing the Easter Grenades. The Splatoon charged in, rolling their own grenades at the bunnies to defeat them. "Phew, I think that's the last of them." Squam said.

"INCOMIIIING!" cried a purple Inkling when a nuke fell from the sky, exploding the street ahead and splattering three Inklings. Another nuke, which looked like an overcooked turkey, came straight for the Splatoon. "Everyone in here!" Haylee whipped up a shelter with Legoan speed, protecting them from the explosion.

"Dammit, ya missed, Meatwad!" Master Shake yelled. "Load another turkey."

"Can Ah play with the brass balls later?"

"Yeah, when I'm done with them."

"When you gonna be done?"

"JUST SHOOT, DUMBASS!" Frylock yelled.

Haylee would whip up a shelter whenever an Atomic Turkey came, then run forward after each explosion. Unfortunately, the remainder of the road was blocked by police cars that were on fire, but they noticed a sewer hatch. Haylee built a shelter around the sewer, then jumped inside. The Aqua Teen would continue watching the shelter, unaware that their enemies were no longer inside.

Inside the sewer, the Splatoon overlooked a clear pipe maze over a chasm. Squam filled a pump with his own ink, watching it course through the pipes, and he was able to swim inside. Squam spent a while navigating the maze until he found a route that led into a hidden room behind the wall. He hit a switch, opening a door beside his teammates, and there was fortunately a pipe to take him back. They were in a narrow passage with sprinklers of juice on the brick walls. The floor was naught but a chasm, but there was a turret available for Squitaba to shoot orange ink around either wall. The ink would only stay in spots where the juice wouldn't reach, so when Squitaba began to swim along, she jumped between the walls until she reached the other end. She hit a switch to make platforms appear for her friends to cross.

They returned outside via an exit door. "Check it out, skateboards!" Squitaba beamed, snatching one up. "Last one to get through this section is eating rotten fish!" And she rolled down the path.

"Lemme ride you, Bro!" Artie hopped on Harry. "I'm no good at skateboards."

"You'll count as Last Place, right?" Harry remarked. The four skateboarders slid down and around a snaky path before entering a park with many ramps. Squitaba took an upper route whilst Squam took a medium route, in which they all raced an Apple Jack and Cinnamon. The Gilligans could only watch as the Inklings used the ramps for boosts of speed, making good combos until they could skate past the Finish Line.

"Iz the winner, mon!" the siblings chorused as they took possession of the treasure chest reward and shot the Apple Jacks with ink. They left the skateboards as they entered a small, suburban forest. Fruicans (blue toucans) swooped down and tried to stab them with sabers. While the gunners were busy shooting them down, Harry alerted them to creatures digging out of the ground. These were revealed to be Dig 'Em Frogs, whom Haylee furiously bashed with her wrench. After exploring the forest a bit, they found a Big Mixx (a moose with other animal parts) guarding a cage with a Floran operative.

The Big Mixx was asleep, but Artie took notice of a beehive above him. He locked on with his rifle and shot a small jet of ink that took the hive down. The Honey Nut Bees buzzed around in a fury and began stinging the Mixx, who ran around crying until he collapsed from exhaustion. However, the Honey Nuts were still patrolling the area, so Haylee built a white, wooden beehive where they could live. With that, they could safely go and free the Floran from his prison.

They followed a downward path out of the forest, going into a warehouse area that was a few meters below surface level. There were several paths between the walls and junk lying around. "GRENADE!" Squam yelled, the group jumping back before a Milk Grenade exploded. "That one looked like one of ours!"

"OI, I found more Inklings!" They faced ahead at an Octoling girl with milky tentacle-hair. "They have some humans with them!" She charged a Milk Tuber and blasted at the five, but they scattered as Squitaba pelted her with goop. The Octoling tried to run, but Artie sniped and KO'ed her.

"I didn't expect to run into Inklings here." Harry said.

"First of all, they're Octolings," Squitaba corrected, "and second, even in that respect, the proper term would be Milklings. Looks like we just walked into a Turf War. Stay alert." The group stuck together as they chose a path, each facing a direction. They faced forward when a pile of crates was suddenly shattered, and a male Chocolate Milkling was covering his path with a large roller. He raised the roller to defend himself when the gunners shot at him, but when Artie chucked a grenade behind him, the Octo ran. Squam tackled the Octo and quickly shot him unconscious.

They ran to a more open area where fire hydrants had become fountains of milk. Through the milk, a Milkling tried to shoot them with a Ballpoint Splattershot. "OW!" Haylee yelped, taking a hit and falling down. "Noooo! I just washed these clothes! Avenge me, Artie!" She pretended to faint. ("Actually, it does hurt a bit. Cough!")

"You'll pay for this, Sour Milk!" Artie cried, charging through the milk. He dodged the Milkling's shots and returned fire until he was down. "BLURRRRBBBB!" Artie choked when a stream of chocolate milk rained on him from the sky. The others spotted a Milkling using jetpacks, but after drenching Artie, he flew away to reload his milk. When he took to the sky again, he targeted Squam and tried to drown him, but was not paying attention while Haylee built a catapult. Squitaba hopped on and "Slurmy!" launched herself above the Milkling, shooting him down. As soon as he hit the ground, both siblings took him out together.

"You think these Milklings would work with us if we asked them to?" Harry asked.

"I don't see why not." Squam shrugged. "Let's Fulton them. More prisoners don't hurt either." They attached Fish Balloons to the Milklings and watched them rise to the sky. They exited the warehouse area and found a clear path to Lucky's castle.

"Hey, is that a banana?" Haylee noticed a strange-shaped banana on the ground and approached it. "Heh, are they really trying to pull the slippery banana trap-"

"WOOF, WOOF!" The banana barked like a dog and lunged at Haylee, who furiously tore it off and bashed it with her wrench. "OW! Little piece of…"

"Did you hurt mah Hand Banana?" they heard a weird voice ask. The only other being around was a meatball with a face.

"Uh… did you say something?" Haylee asked.

"You hurt mah Hand Banana."

"Uh, sorry, but I think he hurt me."

"Hand Banana's just playin' with you. Why you hurt Hand Banana?"

"I told you he attacked me!"

"You better apologize to Hand Banana."

"The heck I will!"

"'kay, then I'm gonna kill you." Meatwad turned into a cannon.

"AAAH!" Haylee dodged.

"Told you not to bring your dog here, Meatwad!" Frylock said. "Shake, be careful with those balls!"

"Look, Fry, I'm a steamroller!" Master Shake was rolling around on both brass balls. "Heheh, watch me squish these squids!" Squam and Squitaba frantically ran from him. Shake felt a shot to the back and turned toward Artie. He shot bullets at the boy, Artie dodging and throwing a grenade at his balls, drenching them in ink. Shake slipped off, but he quickly got up to keep shooting Artie, who dodged his way up to the sentient cup before sticking his gun in the straw. A single shot filled him with ink. "ACK! OH, GOD! W-What is this?! It feels like I'm a different person! I-I think I'm a mama squid! Oh, I'm not ready for motherhood." He fainted.

Meatwad tried to bowl Haylee over, the carpenter running as she drew a giant hammer from her Infi-Cube and smashed him into a meaty pancake. Before he could reflate, Haylee built a wooden prison around the meat, leaving only a tiny hole for breath. As expected, Meatwad was seeping through the hole as a little string, which Haylee chopped into little bits as it came out, eventually dividing Meatwad into so many pieces where he lost consciousness.

Frylock tried to shoot Heat Vision at Harry, and when the boy got close, he tried to whack Harry with one of his fries. "OW!" Frylock cried when Harry took a bite. "What the hell, man, those things double as my hands and hair!"

"They also triple as a snack!" Harry jumped the giant fries and gobbled them up.

"GET OFF ME, GET OFF ME!" He threw Harry off. "You freakin' psycho, man! I need to go to a hospital!" Frylock flew away in panic.

"Let's hurry before they come back." Artie said, the group proceeding to the castle. They saw fellow Inklings defeating the guards around the castle. However, Squam stopped them when he found a fallen Inkling behind a bush. (End song.)

Squam recognized him as Inthan, and he lay with a bullet in his brain. His heart failing him, he glanced at his friend. "Uhh… sorry, Squam… I couldn't make it… That Shake guy got me…"

Squam put a hand to his chest, smiling in comfort. "It's okay, Inthan. You're free now."

"Mmm… I hope you guys… will get to go back home soon… and never have to fight like this… again…" Inthan closed his eyes and breathed his last.

Squam could only sigh in remorse. He attached a Fish Balloon to his late friend and watched him float up to the heavens. "We never wanted to fight like this. Even when the Octarians picked a fight with us, they still liked to have a good time. They never went this far."

"But I thought you guys could regenerate?" Haylee asked.

"We have hearts and brains like you guys." Squitaba replied. "If we take a fatal blow in those areas, we won't respawn. …Hey, don't be sad, Squam." She patted her brother's back softly. "They're in a better place now. We just gotta remember to stay fresh."

Squam smiled at her. "Yeah. Let's win this war for them, Squitaba!"

"Right on!" They did a high-five before racing to the castle, the Gilligans close behind.

Amanda sat back against a clover bush in the castle courtyard, watching as Ernesto and Tsao were marching out. "Ugh, it's those creeps again. But there's someone in his arm… It must be the prisoner."

George King was tied up with chi-blocked ropes, slumped over Ernesto's bulky shoulder. "You know, I think I actually preferred it inside the marshmallow's stomach." George remarked. "Those guys do NOT make breakfast a friendly meal. They were stuffing me so much, I nearly burst!"

"Buu woulda sucked you drier than a churro, amigo!" Ernesto stated. "You have a much better time at my mansion. The little ones come over all the time! They like a boy to beat up."

"Well, if they're anything like Suki, they'll be a piece of cake."

"FREEZE, Skull Face!" The two pirates faced forward in alert. Artie and numerous Inklings from the Splatoon had guns trained on them. "If you still want clean uniforms, you better hand George over to us!"

"Am I supposed to fear these pitiful paint guns?" Tsao declared cockily. "Deadly or not, you would be very foolish to stain the beautiful feathers of General Tsao."

"We have a schedule to keep Tsao." Ernesto set his prisoner down and stepped forward. "I will have these kids served extra caliente!" The Tostarenan drew his maracas and rattled them as he danced, channeling fireballs that lunged at the Gilligans like missiles.

Just as Haylee was about to build a barrier, a sword slashed the air and dispersed the flames. To their astonishment, it was a fire-haired girl in witch's attire: "AMANDA!" Haylee exclaimed.

"Hey! Fancy seeing you here. Are the others nearby?"

"It's just us on this mission. Well, and the Inklings."

"¡SANTOS HUMOS! I remember you from the Tea Party, you filthy bruja!"

"As do I, Ernesto." Tsao said. "Allow me the pleasure of revenge."

"No! You must guard the prisoner, Tsao. She may have blocked my firebending, but she will not survive my passionate music."

"Sorry, but your music is tasteless." Harry stated, stepping beside Amanda.

"Ew." She was repulsed by his attire. "Why's there a jellyfish on your head?"

"I got into Inkling culture. In fact, we got a little performance for you. You're on, girls!"

Taking the cue, Artie dropped a hologram projector on the ground, displaying a giant image of the Squid Sisters. "Huh? Are you ready?" Marie asked.

"Yeah, he says you're on, girls!" Artie confirmed.

"You heard him, Marie! Start up Bomb Rush!" Callie cheered. (Play "Bomb Rush Blush" from Smash Ultimate!)

"AY-AY-AY!" Ernesto shut his ears when the squids began their song. "What is this gibberish?!"

"It ain't gibberish, buddy, it's Squid Pop!" Harry remarked. Squam, Squitaba, and the other Inklings were excitedly dancing. "This is all the craze on Inkopolis! It inks tons of kids up! It's the prime of their culture! Which you got none."

"NO CULTURE?! Ernesto Taco is the KING of culture!" The spice on his hat erupted as he danced furiously. "I can dance any craze you kids are raving about! Come at me, amigo!"

"Wanna dance with me, Amanda?" Harry asked. "I can counter his musicbending, you take his fire."

"If you really think this'll work, I'm for it!" Amanda smirked, twirling her broom. "I'll just pretend to understand what you're singing."

"Oh, dear." Tsao shook his head in disbelief. "This should be interesting…"

Boss fight: Big Mom Minister of Spices, ERNESTO TACO

Ernesto twirled around and conjured clones of himself made of fire, both dancing in unison with their master. The first clone flew at Amanda, who grabbed his hand and glided behind him, kicking her foot up, then sliding under while throwing the clone in a disgraceful fashion. Ernesto blocked the attack, and the second clone danced with her next, the two doing twirls before Harry took Amanda's other hand. Amanda leapt atop the clone while holding Harry and did a break-dance, spinning the mass of fire around before sending it at Ernesto.

The Tostarenan easily dispersed the fire and cast Music Notes through the steam, but was shocked when Harry suddenly danced through with the notes swirling around him, following the human's rhythmic chi now. Harry gracefully danced around Ernesto and tossed the notes back, to which Ernesto would retake control with his own majestic moves, and they would swing the notes back-and-forth. Harry suffered two hits due to missteps, resulting in cockiness on Taco's part, but this enabled Harry to graze him with a note.

Ernesto then took to the sky on a Song Road, Harry surfing after him. During the fast tempo of the Squid Sisters' song, Harry quickly shifted between the lines, hitting each note in the correct order. "Oh crap!" Harry yelled when he missed a note—Ernesto seized the chance to ensnare him in the music sheet, grabbing Harry as he forced him to the ground like a meteor. A crater was dented upon impact, and Ernesto bounced off and resumed his dance. Amanda slid by and pulled Harry up, the boy getting back in the rhythm despite his pain. Ernesto made two more fire clones that Amanda danced with and sent back, doing no damage to the giant skull.

Ernesto flew to the center of the field and created three rings of fire inside each other. Harry and Amanda were forced outside the outer ring. He allowed the witch to guide him as they danced around the rotating wall, dodging the fire that would shoot out, until they discovered an opening where the music shield was revealed. Harry glided through the shield in a backward fashion, throwing the notes elsewhere so Amanda could pass through. For the second layer, they again danced with the rhythm, evading the fires, and when the opening was discovered, Harry lifted and threw Amanda over the barrier, and he back-flipped through, caught her, and set her down with a twirl as they resumed.

They held hands and hopped in circles, evading the fires of the final, smallest barrier. The gap was easily found, Ernesto dancing giddily inside, so Amanda quickly shoved Harry inside—he took hold of one of his maracas, and the two danced in circles while bouncing and shaking it. Though it seemed like they were bonding over this song, the two were actually fighting over the maraca. The struggle ended with Ernesto tossing Harry atop his sombrero, with the boy taking the rattler, anyway. With one maraca each, they kept in rhythm, neon Music Notes flying up and down. They were in a flashy circle of music, each taking hits from the notes every time they missed a cue.

To conclude their union, Ernesto spun clockwise while Harry spun counterclockwise, building up a stream of Music Notes. When it was finished, Harry leapt into the air, both aiming a maraca at the other. Storms of notes were cast in either direction, both suffering heavy damage. Harry dropped the maraca back to Taco's hand, landing on his feet as the skeleton created another Song Road. As the other dancer, Harry was entitled to follow his rhythm, changing lines and hitting the notes as needed. This time, he was determined not to mess up, building up the music in his chi the closer he got to Taco.

Ultimately successful, Harry grabbed Ernesto and used the combined force of the music to smash him to the ground like a meteor. Sticking to the rhythm, Amanda danced around the giant and kicked him in the skull with every movement. Ernesto pushed himself away with that last kick and conjured a Fire Horse that he rode upon. Another horse was made for Amanda, who jumped on with Harry on her back. Riding it like a surfboard rather than a horse, she leaned left or right to dodge Ernesto's massive fireballs. When the giant threw a music ball instead, they allowed it to crash, and Harry took control of the dance as the horse transformed into a musical teacup!

"Heh, you're pretty good at this!" Amanda praised. "We didn't know you were a musicbender."

"I'm not, but I trained to counter musicbenders. You never know when something like this'll happen!" A storm of Music and Fire Notes flew from Ernesto's maracas, so both Harry and Amanda worked to catch their respective elements. They both formed gigantic notes of music and fire, and as they locked hands and danced, their notes merged into a massive Treble Clef of flaming neon. Still holding hands, they flipped off the teacup like a linked wheel, thrusting their other arms at Ernesto as the Treble Clef burrowed into him like a drill. Ernesto frantically spun his maracas to counter the Clef, but Harry and Amanda spun their arms in a mirrored fashion to counter his chi.

"OOOOOOOHHHH!" The Clef punctured Ernesto and destroyed his maracas. Burned and battered, the Tostarenan was still dancing, playing a wooden guitar. Harry had also gotten behind him, his back to the giant. Both reading each other's cues, Ernesto created a neon circle underneath them, and a thick sea of fire outside. Whoever would fall out of rhythm would burn. Ernesto passed his guitar behind to Harry, who reacted quickly and played along with the music. When his session was done, he passed back to Ernesto, and their routine seemed endless as the music grew faster and faster. Each of Ernesto's notes would make the fire bigger, and Harry's notes would form a storm in the sky.

When Ernesto had the guitar last, strumming as fast as his fingers would allow—a string snapped. Not a second after, Ernesto was forced into the sea of flames, crying to the heavens as the storm of notes showed him their wrath. In just a few seconds, the flames and the music were all gone, like a vastly empty field the day after a concert. All that remained was the roasted mass of Ernesto's body. (End song.)

"It's…It's not fair, bro… You already knew this song beforehand… Because of that, I was just one note off."

"Actually, it was my first time hearing that one." Harry replied. "But you were really good for your first time hearing Inkling. You gave me quite a sweat. I was lucky Amanda was here at the same time 'cause you might've actually beaten me." He approached Ernesto and offered a hand. "Let's dance again sometime."

"…" Ernesto happily took his hand. "Sí, mi amigo!"

"Hearing outsiders speak Inkling is still weird though." Marie remarked. "Oh well. Fulton him!"

"Aye-aye!" Squam and Squitaba jumped on Ernesto's back and stuck two Fish Balloons, uplifting him to the sky.

"Oye, oye! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Sorry, friend, but you're our war prisoner." Harry said. "Can't risk letting you get up and fight us again."

"Ah, Uncle Ernesto, what a disgraceful performance." Tsao spoke cockily. "A Sweet Commander being felled by his own element is shameful! You have dishonored Grandma's name."

"Don't just stand there, Tsao! Cut me down! Save me!"

"I see no benefit to doing that. You will just be dead weight."

"¡¿Qué?! As your commander, I order you to save me!"

"About that, my fellow officers and I had a talk, and we agreed that you were too incompetent to lead the Lunch Division. It was always singing and dancing with you, all play and no work. The only one who enjoyed it was Pea, that little twerp. Furthermore, when Goomnut last recorded your Power Level, it was read at 5,402. That pales in comparison to my 6,105. I have surpassed you in power and rank. You may call me Commander Tsao, now."

"YOU BETRAY YOUR OWN FAMILY?! How could you do this, Tsao?! I just want to make the niños happy! I fight this war for them! They're gonna kill me, Tsao, THEY'LL KILL MEEEEeeeeee…" His voice faded as he was brought into the ship.

"Hut toh toh! Such is life. I must plan for my promotion celebration posthaste. My wife, Jing King will cook 20 bowls of the finest noodles. There will be a fountain of Dragon Tea, a king size bed of tofu, and YOU, my pale prisoner," he grasped George's ropes in his talons, "will entertain the audience like a dancing monkey! …?!" Only then did he realize his talons pierced a sack of flour. "What?! But where is the…" He looked around before catching sight of something in the sky. "YOU!"

"Ya snooze, you lose, cockadoodle!" Amanda taunted, flying miles away on her broom with George at her back.

"And tell Lucky he can bite you!" George yelled.

"HEATHEN! Return to Tsao at once!" The Cucco flapped his wings and pursued them. "LUCKY! Get your men and dispose of these jellyfish!"

"Time to scram!" Haylee yelled as the Splatoon inflated the Fish Balloons in their packs and began to ascend.

Lucky scampered out of the palace, head whipping all directions. "Ah heard a word about potentially swallowing a cockadoodle?" He faced skyward, eyes popping at the floating Splatoon. "Those li'l squigglers better not-a taken mah Lucky Charms."

"What'd you say, Lucky?!" Trix shouted, racing out. "They took your Lucky Charms and THEY'RE NOT SHARING?!"

"Let's brrrrrREAK them!" Tony the Tiger decided. Lucky began to shoot his guns up at the Splatoon, but the bullets would not reach. Tony threw his basketball up with gusto, but Haylee bat it down with her wrench. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird zipped up the castle's left angled tower, using it as a ramp as he leapt for the sky and tried to snap Squam's leg, but the Inkling shot ink into his mouth and caused him to drop. The Splatoon maneuvered on their balloons to evade Captain Crunch's cannonballs.

"Daw hick slaw!" Lucky cursed. "Time for a Basket Bitch Bomb." The leprechaun got atop Tony, who got on Trix, who leapt on Crunch, and then Sony flung them all skyward like a catapult. Crunch munched Trix in his mouth and spat him like a cannon, and Trix flipped to kick Tony even higher. Tony spun around and chucked Lucky higher than that, and the leprechaun's arms were open as he was longing to grab hold of Squitaba. "I'mma lick all over you like a peanut-butter hotdog!"

"GET AWAY, YOU FREAK!" Squitaba frantically kicked the air to ascend just slightly faster, but Lucky flew higher, and higher… and slowed.

"A bippity bop-bop?" Lucky panicked when he was about to fall. "Wop, a wop-wop!" He kicked both legs, desperate to catch the Inkling, but fell. "OH HO SILLY POE!"

"YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE!" Squitaba cheered, now extremely relieved.

"Even when we're this high up, he almost caught us." Haylee said. "You think Amanda was able to escape with George?"

"It looks like they're flying over the sea." Artie observed through binoculars. "A couple ships are chasing them, but I think they'll be okay for now."

"Then it's mission complete!" Squam cheered, sharing a fist bump with his sister. "You up for a celebratory game night, Squitaba?"

"Final Destination, NO ITEMS."

"You fight hard core!"

"It's the only way I know how to—WAAAAH!" Her balloon was suddenly popped by a marshmallow bullet.

"SQUITABA!" Squam cried, failing to reach for his sister as she fell toward the planet.

"Ain't you know why they call these Lucky Charms?!" Lucky shouted, twirling his gun. "I'mma 'bout to pig out like a Glomourian! COME TA LUCKY!" He opened his arms and allowed Squitaba to fall in.

"LET ME GO! SQUAM, HELP ME!"

"I'm coming!" Squam was about to cut his balloon.

"Stop!" Artie shouted. "You'll just be captured, too!"

"But, my sister!"

"They're already sending reinforcements!" Haylee acknowledged the incoming enemy ships. "Let's retreat for now! I'm sure they'll just make her a prisoner like the others, we'll rescue her."

"B-But…" Squam hated the idea of leaving his sister with those monsters. Even believing the logic of Haylee's words… he just had a very bad feeling.

Lucky had Squitaba pinned on the ground after they made land. "You better get ready to feed me up real nice, Juice Box."

"But I don't know how to cook!" Squitaba yelled.

"Oh, you ain't playin' the part of chef." That was all Lucky said before bashing her with the butt of his gun, knocking her out cold.

Two days later; Bang Gas Factory (Play "Thousand Knocks" from Danganronpa.)

Squitaba awoke in a place very dark. She was strapped to a metal bed, yet something was preventing her from morphing. She glanced around the darkness in fear—suddenly, a light flashed on overhead. Squitaba only had a second to look at it before a menacing shadow overtook it: Caesar Clown, his mad yellow eyes brimming, and his axe twinkling in the light. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Squitaba's screams reached no one else's ears. Caesar brought his axe all the way back, waited a few seconds, and dealt the first chop with great force. "AAAAAH! HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" The mad clown chopped the left leg, the right, the left arm, right arm. "ANYONE! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! SQUAM, HELP M-!" One last chop to the forehead finished her off. Her eyes saw their last light, and she never spoke again.

With that done, Caesar gathered her remains off the orange-drenched table. Her feet in two blenders, hands in others, etc.. He turned them all on, grinding the squid's body into orange ink. Pipes connecting to the blenders pumped the ink into a squash, along with other chemicals. The squash turned a juicy orange and swirly lines formed on it. With a beaming grin, Caesar picked up the squash and raised it with pride. He turned on a camera and exclaimed, "Behold, underworld fans! The first ever Squid-Squid Fruit, Model: Inkling! Whoever eats this will gain the powers and qualities of a Mushroomian Inkling. Sadly, someone has already paid for this ahead of time. And that person's a very Lucky boy indeed, shurororo~"

Free Kingdom

Squam and the Raccoon Pirates watched this recording on a TV. The Squid Sisters stood behind it, not wanting to see it again. "This transmission was picked up from the pirates' Secret Channel." Callie said. "The one they use to order Devil Fruits."

"…" Squam could not take his eyes off the screen. Though the process itself was not recorded, it was all too easy to make the connection. He barely breathed a response. "They turned my sister… into a Devil Fruit…"

"Why…" Dillon was disturbed by the idea. "Why couldn't they just take her prisoner…"

"L-Let's not panic just yet." Haruka spoke up. In truth, that sentence just kind of popped out. She didn't want the tense atmosphere to grow any worse, so she struggled to be just a little optimistic. "There… might be a way to save her."

Squam's traumatized eyes were now glued on her. In that one sentence, he became completely dependent on her. Haruka's worst fear, at this moment, was breaking his spirit any further. She had to think of a counter to Squam's next question: "How?"

Then, when she needed it most, her brain sparked with a solution. "W-When Mr. York ate the Revan Fruit, Revan's conscience almost took over his body. S-So, Squitaba's conscience must still exist inside the fruit."

"You're saying if one of us eats the fruit, my sister will live in their body?"

"It's…It's not the ideal solution, but if we think really hard, we can find a way. Let's try to get her fruit back first. Please just believe me, Squam, she's still alive."

"…Okay." Her words seemed to quell his feelings. "We'll get her fruit back and figure something out. But I swear, if that leprechaun eats my sister, I'll do more than just kill him."

"We're with you. But… try to rest for now. We have a lot of battles ahead of us. Just let your feelings out tonight."

Squam, Callie, and Marie were the only ones left in the room. Marie softly hugged her agent as Squam cried. She would remain by his side all night until he would calm down. "I should go let the others know." Callie said in a light choke. "I'll give you some space." She left.

Later, Chris and Aurora Uno were alone on a roof. "It's bad enough Mr. Jackson was killed by that little bitch and we can't call her out on it." Chris stated. "It could've easily been one of our teammates who got caught and killed. I can't…I just can't take this anymore, Aurora."

He felt the gentle arms of his sister embrace him. A pleasant chill coursed through his veins and eased his blood pressure. "I can't either, Chris. I know Haruka was just trying to keep us hopeful… but technically speaking, she's not wrong. We need to save as many of our friends as possible, and that includes Squitaba."

"When is it going to end, Aurora? When will we finally be allowed to rest?"

"It'll all be over soon, Chris. Soon, Cheren will come back, and everyone will be saved. We'll destroy all the Four Emperors. After all we did to make this New Universe… I won't surrender it to them. Will you?"

"…No way in hell."

Alone in the bathroom, Callie's hair-tentacle turned into a phone, which she used to make a call. "Hello? Lady Ineptune? It's me, Callie. Listen, I have a request if it isn't too much trouble."

"This had better be important, Callie. Kroctus is chewing our asses off for losing all these prisoners!"

"Yes, well… I just learned that one of the Big Mom Pirates is scheduled to eat a Devil Fruit, and that same fruit was actually made from one of my friends. Please, can you…can you or one of the others make a plan to get it back?"

"My, how troublesome you are. Alright, we'll see what we can do. But we'll want more than just your hometown after this."

"Yes, I know. But thank you."