Post-War 6: The Ugly Couple

In honor of Valentine's Day, it's time for shipping!

GKND Bathhouse

The bathhouse of GKND H.Q. presented a marvelous view of the stars under a glass roof. Jataro Kemuri filled the tub up to his preferred height and dipped his feet in, embracing the soothing warmth. If this were like any other bath time, he would simply sit on the side until his legs were scrubbed to cleanliness. But today, all his clothes were off. This was his first time bathing since his mask came off. His friends remarked how filthy his hair smelled and demanded he bathe. In truth, the reason Jataro had never taken a full bath was because he feared his disgusting, mutant body would pollute the tub and ruin it permanently, and the filth would destroy the pipelines if it were to be washed away.

These fears still rang in his head, even as he submerged himself up to his neck. At the very least, he filled the bath up with bubbles to be able to hide himself. …It was such a refreshing feeling. He had never been enveloped in such soul-melting warmth. He felt his woes floating away with the steam… his mind and soul were becoming mist. It was like… bathing in warm, fluffy clouds… Maybe this was how they bathed in Heaven…

Jataro crawled over to the large mirror. He gazed at his own messy head. His mother always said he was hideous… he believed he was hideous… If he ever removed his mask, anyone who looked would melt, including himself. And yet, his skin wasn't peeling, his ear holes weren't oozing… in fact, he had ears… Jataro couldn't tell what was so ugly… unless… Maybe one of his friends put this effeminate, human-like mask on him, and they wanted him to wash the mask. That was more likely.

He dug his long fingernails into his neck… Ow. He scraped up his neck, trying to find the mask's rim. He couldn't find it, and scratch marks appeared on his neck. He guessed he'd just wash the mask like this. So, he submerged himself below the bubbles. He was fully underwater, his hair flowing up like seaweed. He was gazing up at the bubbles like clouds, which reflected pretty lights and fractals on the floor of the tub. He felt his mind… floating… into slumber… This gentle world below the bubbles… embraced him…

…

…

…

…

"…cough…Cough…kuh…" The gentle feeling morphed into sickness. His vision, enveloped in darkness during that time, was reforming in a blurry way. There was… something brown and weird hanging over him. It took the form of… some kind of gas mask? Its eyes barely visible behind blue specs. "Huh…huh…" Jataro gasped as though his heart was nearly void of oxygen.

"Goodness, are you okay?" the person asked in a muffled voice. She sounded like a girl.

"…I…I…" Jataro tilted his head up. He was… "AAAAH!" Jataro rolled away and tried to curl up like a turtle. "D-D-D-Don't look at me!!"

"It's okay! I'll get you a towel." The girl got a white towel down and threw it over him.

Jataro held it like a scared little boy who just got up from a nightmare. "W-W-W-What're you doing in here? W-Wasn't the door closed?"

"It was, but I sensed someone drowning in here with my Haki. I came in and I found this empty bubble bath… but then I washed the bubbles aside and found you drowning! I'm glad I pulled you out in time…"

"Oh…I guess it was because I'm a Devil Fruit user. I knew we couldn't swim, but I didn't think I would fall asleep underwater. …Wait a minute… I recognize you from the party."

"Oh…oh, yeah. I think I remember you. You were trying to tell me something, but I couldn't hear you over the music. My name's Carmine, by the way. E. Carmine."

"I was trying to tell you 'hi,' but then you went to dance with your friend."

"Eddy just pulled me away to dance with Quill and Kodama. Heh, were you going to ask me to dance?"

"Well, I was wondering… are you ugly, too?"

"Huh?" Carmine was taken aback by the question. "I…What do you mean 'too'?"

"I just thought… you're wearing a mask and suit kinda like what I wear. Well, it's not really a suit, but kind of a big sweater with an artist's apron, 'cause I need something like that to carry all my supplies. I mean, I could just use an Infi-Cube, but I don't like the feeling of my hand being sucked into another dimension. I'm afraid of it being chomped off or getting stuck."

"Wait, slow down, I still don't understand. Why did you say you wear a mask?"

"Because…because I'm hideous. I'm actually wearing a mask right now. My friends put it over me. It feels fleshy and human-like."

"Really?" Carmine walked closer and thoroughly examined his head. She noticed the scratch marks on his neck. "Um…are you sure it's a mask? It seems like your natural head."

"But that's impossible. I'm supposed to be disgustingly mutated."

"You don't look disgusting to me. …Actually, if I didn't already see you naked, I would've thought you were a girl. You're really cute."

"You liar. You put on that whole suit just to avoid breathing my air or touching my zombie-like flesh."

"What on Earth are you talking about? Your skin is flawless; I was already wearing this suit to begin with!"

"Then no wonder you can't see it. Those goggles are blurring your eyes."

"Then I'll just take off this mask and see for myself!" So with that, Carmine's gloved hands gripped the gas mask and pulled it off.

Jataro's eyes paled more than they already were. Carmine had no outer skin, only the pink underneath, and it was filled with trenches like some alien planet. Her eyelids were thin and half-closed and her teeth were exposed. She was totally bald, and two holes existed where a nose should be. Her ears were shriveled up.

"…You're ugly…"

Hurt shone in Carmine's eyes. She put her mask on and said, "Never mind, sorry I bothered you." And she stomped away in a rage.

"W…Wait!" Jataro left his towel and chased her out of the bathhouse—nearby operatives looked with disgust. "Wait, I don't understand! I'm ugly too, so I thought you would-"

"For crud's sake, put some clothes on!"

"But I—you said my skin was-"

"It's impolite to run around without clothes, ugly or not! Ugh, just come with me!"

Carmine dragged Jataro back to the bathroom, where he put the towel back on. "If you still don't understand, I feel insulted. You kept calling yourself ugly and hideous all so you could get me to take off my mask, didn't you?! You were just pulling a cruel prank!"

"But I thought you wouldn't mind, because I'm ugly, too. Ugly people should call each other ugly, right?"

"What is the matter with you?! There is nothing ugly about you, you're adorable!"

"A…a…a…a…adorable?" Jataro's pale face flushed red.

Carmine internally blushed. "I mean…ugh, forget it. Look, back when I was first starting out as an operative, I was in an accident. We were infiltrating a chemical factory, and I was caught in an explosion. It ruined my flesh so bad that not even waterbenders or whatever else could fix me. My skin is sensitive to the air and almost everything else. This is a specially made suit designed to be accommodating for my skin. …But what about you? What deformities do you have?"

"I…I…I…" It should've been plainly obvious how hideous Jataro was… but apparently, it wasn't.

"Well, enjoy your bath. Be careful not to drown next time." With that, she left the bathhouse once more.

"Hmmm…" Moaning awkwardly, Jataro approached the bath.

"You need to work on that, buddy."

"GYAAAH!" Jataro yelped and jumped away. "Wh-Who said that?! Is there a pervert in here?!"

"Down here, buddy." Jataro faced down and spotted Vweeb.

"Oh…it's a talking bug."

"No, the name's Vweeb. I was comin' in here to take a bath when I saw Carmine run in. And as a genuine ladies' man, calling a girl ugly ain't cool."

"But didn't you see her? She looked like some kinda alien. I mean, not the aliens you see around here, but like the ones in movies. The kind that suck out your brains because they don't wanna study for the Alien Math Test."

Vweeb pounced onto Jataro's shoulder. "Look, when it comes to girls, buddy, there's only one All 'Round Rule: all girls are pretty. And the girls who are technically and physically deformed are the prettiest of all. They're the ones who especially need to hear it. Heck, didn't you enjoy being called 'adorable'?"

"Oh…so, it's not that she didn't know I was ugly, she was just trying to compliment me because I was ugly?"

"I… guess? …I mean, the same rules work for guys, too, I reckon."

"Oh…it's kinda confusing, but I guess I'll try it."

"Just put some clothes on this time." On Vweeb's request, Jataro went to put his brown clothing and apron back on before leaving the bathhouse. "Sigh, there's my good deed for the day. Now to hook up with Ari~"

Jataro ran in search of Carmine and found her in the cafeteria. "Wait!"

Carmine turned around. "What now?"

"I…I just wanted to tell you that you're pretty."

"You just called me ugly! You can't take it back that quickly."

"I know, but an alien bug made me realize that you called me adorable because I was ugly just like you, and from the prospective of ugly people, other ugly people are pretty, but when I called you 'ugly,' it worked in the reverse way and made you think you were pretty."

". . . . . ." Carmine just wasn't sure what to make of that sentence. At all. "I just don't understand you. Are your compliments and insults just inverted or something?"

"Do you hate me?"

"No, but I am getting kind of aggravated."

"Well, that's good. Ever since I was born, my mom hated me. But if parents are supposed to 'love' their children, then I guessed Mom's way of raising me was her form of love. And because everyone else hated me, I guessed they were 'loving' me. So, you kinda 'like' me right now."

"That's…that's just…what?! It sounded like you had a terrible mother!"

"But I still really 'loved' her. I 'loved' her so much that I used my Devil Fruit power to squish my house with my parents inside it, 'cause killing is the ultimate form of hatred, right?"

". . . . . ." Carmine was almost regretting not letting this boy drown. "I really feel sorry for you. I just… don't know how else to put it."

"Yeah, I'm pretty pathetic. I wish someone would turn me into a bug and step on me."

"…" Carmine felt obligated to help this poor boy. At least in some way. "You're awfully pale, aren't you? Have you ever been to the beach?"

"Yes, but I stay in the outhouse."

"I figured. You know what, I'm taking you to Sector J. We'll buy you some swim trunks while we're there. What's your name, by the way?"

"It's Jataro Kemuri. My pirate name is 'Ugly.'"

"We'll have to change that, too."

Sector J

Many operatives were joyfully running around the soothing sand or splashing in the shiny sea to relieve their selves of the stress of war. Sector W7 were playing catch with Aeincha, Melody was swimming with Manaphy, and Sector JP were playing volleyball.

Carmine and Jataro came out of the treehouse after the latter was given a swimsuit. It felt so wrong to be half-naked in public. A pair of shorts weren't nearly enough to conceal his disgusting form. He trembled under the shadow of the treehouse, his feet cold against the beach. "Don't stop." Carmine said, standing in the sunlight. "Keep walking."

"…" Jataro stepped forward. He cringed under the light. It was torture to his ugly eyes, he felt his skin sizzling. He looked down to hide his eyes from the light. His long-nailed toes were smooshed into the sand. He wiggled them as the sand shifted around. It felt like… a warm, fluffy dust. And his pale skin was now a brighter shade of pale.

"You told me you were an earthbender, right? The sand should be naturally appealing to you. It's the gentle form of your element. Don't just let your toes feel it; lie down and embrace it completely."

Jataro nervously lie down on his back. Carmine did the same, Jataro tilting his head sideways. Carmine smiled behind her mask and brushed her arms and legs along, making a sand angel. Jataro mimicked her motion… and felt how the sand brushed smoothly. His entire back was becoming warm and happy. He had never felt anything like this. He brushed his limbs faster, almost digging into the sand. "Huhuhuhu! It feels like a giant, dusty blanket!"

He began to roll around and envelop himself in the sand with his bending; it morphed into a fabric-like state and grew bigger, to where only his little head was visible. Other beach-goers looked at him weirdly. "Hu hu huuu! Do people sleep in this? Because people should totally sleep in this! I feel like a cozy little butterfly in a cocoon! And since I'm not tiny, I don't feel the fear of getting squished!"

Carmine smiled at his carefree spirit. He already looked a lot more pleasant and happy in this environment. …But she also felt jealous…

"Hu hu hu hu!" Jataro unraveled his blanket and sank his legs into the sand, using his bending to trudge through. "OW!" His toes crashed into something underneath: a buried rock. "Owwwww!" He fell on his rear and pulled up his foot to rub it. "Ow, I broke a nail! I knew there was a catch…"

"Let me see." Carmine crouched down, seeing the middle nail bent and cracked. "Ew…you really don't take care of yourself. Luckily, bombs aren't the only things I carry." She withdrew a pair of clippers. She gently took Jataro's foot and clipped the bad nail. She then proceeded to clip the others with careful precision, then she moved to the hands.

Jataro, meanwhile, mentally questioned how anyone could look at and handle his nails without vomiting. But with this girl, it stopped feeling strange. After all, she was ugly, too. The fabric of her suit was rough and unpleasant… even though he was still warmed by the gesture. "There we go. Your nails are fresh and ready to grow again."

The pain in the toenail faded away peacefully. He studied his fingers and toes thoroughly. The nails were neatly trimmed. They were as small and round as a newborn's. "Just because I can't be pretty, I would still like other people to be pretty. I took cosmetology lessons from Aeincha, but I can only do basics. My Observation Haki helps with that, too. I try to learn as many helpful skills as I can, since I can never be strong or as nimble as everyone else. But you don't have those weaknesses, it seems like. With a healthy diet, enough sunlight or exercise, you can live a happy life. I mean, you can't rule out personal drama with friends or enemies, but as long as you can let your body be happy, you'll live happily."

"My… body…" Never has Jataro been proud of his body. He grew up believing he was disgusting, and that's all he had ever known. He couldn't even look himself in a mirror. And when he finally did, he thought it was merely an illusion. A skin suit. The sun was shining on his pale form, as if smiling.

"Man-Manaaaaaaa!" They heard an animal-like cry out at sea and looked. Manaphy was speeding like a dolphin, Melody matching his pace. "Faster, Melody, fasteeeerrr!"

"Oh!" Carmine gasped. "I just got a great idea! Hey, use your earthbending to call them over, their names are Melody and Manaphy!"

"Actually, I can do this." Jataro snapped a picture with his energy camera, then dug his face in the picture. It appeared enlarged as it faced the sea. "HEY! MELODY, MANAPHY, COME OVER HERE!"

"AAAAAH!" Manaphy screamed and swam out to sea. "Manaphy, wait!" Melody chased.

In a few minutes, Melody was able to console her uncle and bring him back to shore. "Jataro, Manaphy has the power to switch peoples' bodies. I would like him to switch our bodies."

"S…Switch our… bodies?" Jataro stuttered. "You mean I would be a… girl?"

"Well, yes, but I think we should understand how each other feels. If you were in my awful body, you would feel more pride in your body. And I… well, I don't know how I would feel. I mean… it's been so long since I…"

"I guess we could try… and I promise not to look at your 'no-no' parts. I would ask you to do the same, but you already-"

"Please don't finish that." Melody requested. "Well, Manaphy, switch away."

"Okay. Phyyyyy!" Red lines connected the two. Jataro's soul traveled into Carmine's body, and Carmine's soul entered Jataro's.

The feelings that resulted came in extreme shock. "Aaaaahhh!" Jataro, crying in Carmine's voice, fell to her knees. He was instantly cut off from the outside air, breathing a musty, filtered scent. The suit was clasping his body in a harsh fashion. His skin was wriggling unpleasantly. "I…I feel like… I'm suffocating… Carmine, you…?"

Carmine was too distracted to notice. She felt… incredibly light. She was looking at arms… bare, pale arms. She could wave them around and feel salty air brush them. The sea mist tickled her, but the shield of skin helped it feel pleasant instead of painful. She had a flat, smooth chest, a little hole in the belly, and her feet were relaxed in the sand. These traits… she remembered having these traits a long time ago. Memories came washing back into her. Air was entering her lungs. Unfiltered, fresh, salty air. On instinct, she remembered how a nose works and took a big whiff. The spray tickled her nosehairs—she had nosehairs!

"I feel…I feel like… I've been reborn. I feel… new… I…I…"

Carmine ran. She ran with a speed she had long forgotten. She ran with a speed even Jataro never managed. It was the average speed of any 12-year-old boy, but Jataro had never felt the adrenaline or passion to run that fast. Carmine was free. Her feet were free to the sand, body was free to the wind, mouth was free to air. She kept her mouth open and pumped it with all the air she could. She felt Jataro's heart pumping passionately, felt it throbbing in his chest. She just wanted to run and run and never go back.

"Hey! Come back, Carmine!" Jataro tried to chase, but Carmine's suit was too bulky and heavy. "D'oooohh! This stupid…" He fiddled around and pulled off Carmine's mask, then tore off her boots, exposing her pink, shriveled, jelly-like feet. "OW OW AAAH!" He tripped as though stepping on a scalding hot grill. His head hit the sand—"AAAH! Ow, it hurts, it hurts! Ow, ow, it's stuck in my flesh! Am I bleeding?! Ohhhh…!"

Melody hastened to put Carmine's gear back on, then she lifted Jataro and carried him quickly.

Carmine had sadly reached the end of the beach. "Yah!" She yelped when waves brushed the shore, chilling her feet. "?!" She looked to the ocean. The vast, beautiful ocean. The endless world. The sea that Melody loved, the sea that Sheila loved; several operatives could compete for who loved the sea the most. Oh, how Carmine wanted to be in that contest!! "OHHHHH!" Crying haplessly, she ran into the waters. She splash-splash-splashed with each step, grew excited in its chilly, tickly feel, as if she were an obsessive lover who just wanted to be with her mate. Her body sank further, and she let herself fall. "Don't leave me! Don't ever leave me! I don't wanna go back, I don't wanna!!! I don't—gu-u-u-u-u-r-r-r-r-gle…"

When she was completely submerged, her weight increased tenfold. Heavier than even her suit. She was powerless in the ocean's grip. The sea was filling her lungs and would take her soul…

…

Manaphy swiftly pulled Carmine out of the sea with Melody's order. When Jataro came in range, red lines connected them, and they swapped back. Melody bent the water out of Jataro's lungs, and both kids felt rather dizzy after the sudden change back.

"Please trade me back!" Carmine begged, unable to mold tears in her dry eyes. "Please! I hate this body! I don't wanna wear this suit any more! I wanna feel the air, feel the sand! I wanna take baths, I wanna eat big meals! I don't wanna live like thi-i-i-i-iiis…"

She fell, bowing and crying. Jataro… never imagined a fellow human being looking so pathetic. No one except himself. He thought only rats and bugs were beneath him. He never had to look down on a fellow human on equal ground.

When Carmine glanced up, she saw Jataro's cute feet standing in their own shadow. She moved up his stick legs, frail belly, and reached the sweet eyes on his adorable head. His tiny smile looked so sweet. "You're not ugly…"

His hand lowered, opening its newly trimmed fingers. …Carmine gripped the hand in her thick, harsh glove, unable to tell how tightly she was holding it. She allowed Jataro to pull her up. "…Hey, Melody? Can Manaphy switch our bodies permanently?"

"What?" Melody was thrown back by Jataro's request, as were the others.

"Carmine deserves this beautiful body more than I do. She deserves to be beautiful on both the inside and the outside…"

"You just… contradicted yourself." The waterbender sighed and face-palmed.

"It's okay…" Carmine smiled. "I am ugly… not just the outside, but I…I did something terrible."

"Oh…I know what you mean." Jataro replied. When they had been switched just now, Jataro got a glimpse at her memories. He saw the battle leading up to Drake's death… and why Carmine feels responsible.

"They…" Carmine began crying again. "They said they weren't mad at me… that it wasn't my fault… but I… They're just holding it in…"

Jataro softly hugged her suit. "Manaphy, please switch our bodies. She doesn't deserve to feel any more pain…"

"Well, if Manaphy stayed far away from you, you would be switched indefinitely." Melody remembered. "But I don't think that's the right choice."

"Don't worry." Carmine said. "Jataro…" She grabbed her mask and slowly pulled it off, exposing her stressed pink eyes to his pretty, pale ones. "I know you've made mistakes, too. I feel… happier… now…"

Jataro gave a little smile. Carmine began to pull off her gloves. She gently held Jataro's hands… and trembled a bit. She tried to hide her weakness… wanting to remember the warmth of a fellow human. Then, she leaned her head toward his chest cautiously. Jataro felt her shaking, and her skin felt icky… but he didn't mind at all. Deep down, they both felt warm…

"…" Jataro puckered his lips and very softly kissed her scalp. She flinched a bit… but she smiled. Carmine raised her head and placed her lipless teeth to Jataro's cheek. She couldn't make the suckle… but he felt the tickle. When she pulled away, Jataro folded his hands and smooshed his chest with his arms, swaying and blushing like dorky boys do when they get their first kiss.

Melody smiled. You never knew what the day would throw at you in this business, but the happier surprises were extremely rare and wanted. "I can have Manaphy change you back for a short time, at least."

"Maybe later…" Carmine replied, putting her gear back on. "Let's just spend the day together normally for now." They walked away, holding hands.

Melody shared a knowing glance with Manaphy: they knew this wasn't the last time they'd be swapping bodies.

Jataro would lay in the sand, belly and back up, until his body would absorb every ounce of sunlight he missed out on. Carmine would ask him to put on sunscreen before it could become too brown, but when Jataro would greet his friends again, his skin would be newly crisped and colored to a darkish-peach. On some days, they would go to Melody and ask for a Heart Swap. They would go to buffets so Carmine could stuff Jataro's body with all the food she ever wanted to eat. They would go to playgrounds and explore forests and mountains; Carmine wanted to know all the amazing things her body was missing out on. Of course, she would apologize for putting Jataro through more pain, but he was only happy to see her happy.

For the longest time, their souls just felt so confined to their own bodies, for different reasons, but now body and soul were free. Their hearts were aflutter. Whatever challenge would come next, they would run forward with utmost confidence.

They made sure the KND would record him as 'Kemuri the Cutie.'