Operation: REVERT, Part 4: Invisible Hero: Mission Impossible

Hideout Helm

Plates of raw meat were spread across the giant-sized dining room table. King Kroctus treated his jaws to their succulent flesh. Entire bodies of pigs, fish, and cows were vanishing down his throat. General Scales dined on the meat as well, while Fredrik helped himself to clams, worms, and cucumbers. "Hey, get your own!" Fredrik yelled at Helmaroc when the giant bird stole some of his worms.

Their undignified way of eating and choice of food disgusted Toru Hagakure. They were animals down to the core. She wanted to puke at the sight of Jake burying his head in a pile of frogs; they only reminded her of Tsu. Moge-ko was eating cooked birds, and whenever she glanced over at Helmaroc, the giant bird cowered in his corner. Jake nuzzled up to the catgirl and said, "Thanks for bein' mah table buddy!"

"Let's have a toast to our new friend, Jake!" Adam announced, raising a glass of red wine. "For helping us nab that little horned freak!"

"You have horns too, you know." Sienna reminded.

"Pfft, they don't erect like hers does."

"I guess you've never been in love then." Ineptune remarked.

"BE QUIET!" Adam flushed, the Kommanders chortling as mushed food flew out of their mouths.

"Now we have both ingredients to our plan." Manky Kong said, having apparently been scaled down to fit in the room. "The timebender girl… and the Rainbow Crown." With his long arms, he raised a neon crown with colored banana points and a central rainbow antenna like those on the monkeys.

"What're you going to do with a silly old thing like that?" Jake asked arrogantly, his tone full of doubt. "Turn everyone into hippies? Make 'em all act like babies?"

"That is the gist of it, yes." K. Rool replied, stroking his chin. "This crown is brimming with Emotion Chi, and when used in the right way, I believe it can manipulate peoples' emotions the same way a bender could. Combined with Eri's Rewind ability, we will revert our enemies' psyches into those of a premature age. This will make enforcing our control over them a walk in the park."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just Rewind them out of existence?" Sienna asked.

"Now, Captain, where's your imagination?" Adam asked with a smile. "The humans use us as slaves, don't they? Even fellow Mobians do. This is the best way to get revenge."

"Yes, that's my boy!" K. Rool smacked the bull's back. It would be aching all night. "Did you know, in their infant years, Mobians behave the same as any wild animal? So, if we revert the Mobians' mentalities, I can Kommand them as I could all animals in my Krew!"

So, that's it! That's what they're planning with Eri! Toru thought, anger fueling her invisible heart. I can't let them… I'm a hero! I'm right inside their base and they have no idea! I'll kick all their butts before they even know what hit them!! And I'll make off with Eri at the speed of wind!

"HIIIIYAH!" With a passionate leap, Toru flew and kicked Adam with all the power she could muster in her foot.

Not a second passed before Adam retaliated by slicing his invisible attacker. "AAAAAAAHHHH!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Fredrik bellowed.

"Sniff, sniff. Ah smell blood." Jake sniffed. "FRESH blood! Mmmmm…" He licked the area where the smell originated. "There's somethin' here! Mmmmm!" He took a bite of the invisible flesh. "So GOOD! MMMMM!" The Krewmen were completely confused by his actions, when in reality, poor Toru's intestines were being mushed inside Jake's mouth. No one would ever know what Jake was eating, and no one would ever find her remains.

…

That was what would result if Toru acted before thinking. As if I were anything like Deku or Bakugo. Just imagine it, "Butt-Naked Invisible Girl with no real powers beats the crap out of giant monster animals!" Sigh… Toru looked up at the Kremling King, haughtily enjoying another pig. His scaly, golden body was invincible to a feeble girl like her. No operative will ever be this close to an S-rank criminal like him. I can't rescue Eri without the guards catching us. Until I find a way to contact my friends… I can try to learn as much as I can.

As soon as the shutter-door opened, two Kook Krooks walked in. Unlike normal Krooks, their hands were spatulas, and they carried more food. Toru saw this as her chance to rush outside the room before the door closed.

K. Rool finished a drink of water before looking contemplatively. "But that isn't the only use I have for Eri. If her power is strong enough… she may be able to erase the Newborn from existence. We must destroy them before they can become an even greater threat."

Toru kept on her toes and stayed along the walls as she bypassed numerous Kremlings. With Klumps, Krunchas, Krushas, and Kasplats, if the Stealth Hero made even one slip-up, the burly Krocks would be on her without question of what they were punching. What was very weird to her is how most of these Kremling types looked exactly the same. It's common for some humans to look similar, and maybe she didn't know enough about this species… but she couldn't help but find it strange.

Toru found a room with a huge crown design, guarded by two gray Krushas. The door had a scanner above it, indicating it was automatic. However, when Toru approached, it didn't open at all. If I can't enter normally, maybe I can crawl through a vent.

The unseen hero waited for a group of Bazukas to leave a hallway as she climbed a metal support beam with gaps, though she felt they would leave slight cuts on her feet. Afterwards, Toru kicked over and grabbed hold of a vent. She planted her feet against the wall and tugged until the vent opened up. With that, she climbed the beam again and was able to grip the edge of the shaft, struggling to haul herself in. She then closed the vent.

Toru sighed to herself and crawled through the vent, accumulating dust. It seemed like a clear trail were making itself, with some of the lost dust revealing her presence a bit. "Ah…ah…mmmk!" She withheld a sneeze, which resulted in a mild headache and a sprain to her muscles. This job didn't really do wonders for her confidence. From being unable to wear clothes, feeling inferior to the pirates, and growing filthier by the minute with no hope for a bath, Invisible Girl began to feel totally hopeless. And top in the fact she only got about four hours of sleep, using only her fear and alertness to stay awake.

Fortunately, she was able to locate K. Rool's bedroom, cracking open the vent and sliding in. The king's furniture was scaled to his size, with a red carpet that depicted his profile, a red bed, a TV, a window to a small balcony, and a desk with a book. After shaking and brushing some of the dust off, Toru climbed onto the large chair… It felt warm to her feet, and knowing K. Rool also went nude, she grew more disgusted. She quickly hopped on the large desk and observed the book. "This is K. Rool's diary?" She didn't expect such a burly croc to document his life. Out of sheer curiosity, she sat cross-legged and opened the book.

K. Rool's Musings: A healthy Krock is a healthy eater. You can get by on meat easy, but fresh fruit, juice, and water always livens the spirit. I don't enjoy candy or junk food, and ever since meeting Big Mom, I wonder why that behemoth hasn't died eons ago. Just the thought of her makes me puke. The next step to good health is 1,000 push-ups, 1,000 weight-lifts, and beating up 1,000 Krewmen. Or at least as many until you think you've done enough.

Toru shook her head and told herself, "I can't get distracted. I need to find something that could be useful." She noticed bookmarks were placed within various sections and decided to briefly skim them. She read an article about the Firstborn Quest, one about the White Fang… and a section labeled "Born Anew."

Planet Hyrule; three years ago

A part of me wonders why I haven't heard about this planet before. A world that resembles Ancient Hyrule should've been all over the news. Yet, it has been here for ages, even though I feel like it had just appeared. But I didn't question it too much. When my Krewmen explored the Dark Lands of this world, they discovered an amazing species: Chimera Ants. These ants captured various monsters and animals and brought them to their Queen, and after eating them, she would birth more ants with traits that resembled those monsters. After we allowed the queen to eat some of our Krewmen, we determined that the resulted hybrids possess the same personalities as the Kremlings. Their souls were reborn in new bodies.

Eventually, this Queen would give birth to an Ant King, who would be the strongest of them all. We kept watch on the Queen, waiting until the perfect moment. Afterwards, I would allow the Queen to devour me, so my conscience would be reborn anew! However, I hesitated to lose my superior reptilian form. That is why I captured the elusive Chameleonian, a creature that can take any animal form. If both of us were eaten together, my soul may be reborn with its morphing abilities. It was a chance I was willing to take.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Kroctus?" Klammy asked me. "You're practically giving up your life! What if this 'Ant King' isn't born with your soul at all? It might become an entirely new creature, not my brother!"

"Either I die from my decreased lifespan or my strength gets transferred to an even greater creature."

"Well, I refuse to accept that creature as my king! Kroctus, why do you never consider MY feelings in these insane decisions?! Wanting to control the Leptys, wanting to become an Ant King, and both plans involve killing yourself! I don't want to lose you again, Kroctus. It still feels empty without Kruckers around. He was dimwitted, but he always livened the mood."

"Then why did you help me research this species in the first place?"

"Well, I…I would hate for you to die long before I did, so if there was even a slim chance this could save you… Eh, I don't know, anymore." Klammy bowed his head, trying to hold back his earnest tears.

I tipped his jaw up to face me. "If I am the true Animal King, then my willpower will dominate and be reborn. I will return, brother."

"W-Wait wait, we don't gotta do this!" pled the Chameleonian, who had taken Diddy Kong's form. "You got the wrong guy, I'm not a chameleon, I'm Diddy! I'm Diddy!"

"Is it time, yet?" I asked the Queen.

"Yes, Lord Kroctus…" replied the massive insect, her bottom bulging a bright green. "My son… will be here any moment. I must consume your strength now… before it's too late."

I approached her, holding the squirming animal up. "Then feast!"

"W-Wait! I'm Pikachu!" The Chameleonian transformed. "Pika-Pika! Pika—CHAAAAAAHHH!" And that was the last form it had taken.

Klammy turned his head from the feeding. It must've been a horrid sight, your own brother being munched into pieces. It was quite painful, but that was a minor nuisance. She made sure to devour every part of me, until I became one with her unborn son.

"UUUUURRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" With a blinding light, her womb opened. Klammy could barely see what transpired, only a bulky mass ripping apart the womb, resulting in the Queen's demise.

The ground shook as the mass stomped across the slime. "Is that you… Kroctus?"

It seemed like me, yet it didn't feel like me. My body… felt different. I stared at my scaly hand, willing it to morph into green fur. My whole body became a gorilla's. Klammy stared in awe as I transformed into a lion, an eagle, a gopher, and a giraffe before returning to my true form. "MWAH HA HA HA! I feel GREAT!" I punched myself in a joyful manner. "I feel stronger than ever! I feel like I can go four more decades! Klammy, it's time to give the universe a little surprise! MWEH HEH HEH HAR!"

My ability to transform into animals allowed my Conqueror's Haki to influence the respective species even more. That was my prime reason for fusing with the Chameleonian. Of course, I was always more attached to my true form, so I only used that in combat. But because of my newfound strength, I was able to learn Golden Haki. Sadly, my weak spots hadn't gone away. Still, I felt like I could take on anything with this new breath inside me! I didn't yet know how I would make my comeback, but I would in time.

Current time

"Chimera Ants… wow." Toru wondered if any operatives knew about this secret. "…Hey, he's got a computer, too! Maybe I can send an email to my team." She closed the diary and set it to its original position before running toward the large computer. Even the screen and keyboard were larger than usual, and the pads had indents created by Kroctus's claws. "Darn it! I can't get in without a password! Even if I could make wild guesses, it might block me from signing in if I get too many wrong, and then he'll get suspicious."

"I'm turning in for the night, boys!" Toru gasped, horrified at the thundering voice outside. She quickly turned the screen off and ran to a corner.

The shutter-door opened as King Kroctus marched in. "Enjoy your rest, Your Scaliness!" a Krusha said.

The door sealed, secluding K. Rool from the rest of the base. "Aaaahhh… I say I got a lot accomplished today. Time for a nice bath and a good night's rest. …But not before I check my emails!" The king giddily plopped his behind at the computer desk and signed in. For a minute, Toru considered tiptoeing up and seeing if there were anything of interest… but even if she could conceal her aura, the king could probably sniff her out.

K. Rool signed into his account, koolkrool94@starmail.com. "Oh, how delightful! Littlecharmer24 updated his story! Heh heh heh har… This will be fun to read after my bath." He left it on that screen as he marched into his private bathroom.

Seeing this as her chance, Toru returned to the desk. It seemed that "littlecharmer24" was a fanfiction writer. There were other emails from ManfredReaper and majorMonstros, but Toru wouldn't bother looking into those.

She clicked "Compose" and entered "aizawash@mail.ua.edu." She quickly typed a message to Mr. Aizawa. Naturally, she couldn't send one from her own email without K. Rool wondering why he was signed out of his own account, but an email from K. Rool's account would still prompt her teacher to read it. "There. Sent. Now I have to clear the evidence." She went to the 'Sent' folder and erased the email from its history. She then set the screen back to the way it was.

"The question is, should I stay here and keep an eye on Eri, or try to find someplace safe until backup comes." Toru approached the balcony window, considering the latter. She had a view of the ocean from here, and the Kommanders' ships were sailing away.

Scales boarded the Triassic Terror, a galleon with steel-colored sails and wings, with the animated figurehead of a roaring horned dinosaur. Fredrik's ship was the Snowmad of Snowhere, with a walrus figurehead and icicles growing from it. The Helmaroc King flew into a flying ship called the Forsaken Float, which used a massive inner-tube to float and moved with rowing wing oars. Moge-ko's ship was the Mogeko Kremlin, a metallic vessel with a Mogeko-headed tower.

"No, I should stay here. The others won't forgive me if I just abandon Eri. But I…I'm so tired." Toru limped to a corner of the room and sat down. "I have to find someplace to rest… someplace hidden."

Unfortunately, King K. Rool finished his bath. "Even we animals need the finer things in life. Now, should I turn in for the night? …Eh, I have time for a quick chapter." So, he returned to his computer and began to read.

Mmmm… 'Guess I won't be resting anytime soon. Toru mentally moaned.

Sector U.A.

After the battle, the U.A. operatives were asked to get some rest. Any injured operatives had their wounds treated, but the pirates responsible for the fires unfortunately made their escape.

"They lost track of Eri's ship?!" Deku shouted at Iida.

"I wish I could tell you otherwise, but they vanished into hyperspace." the Sector Leader replied in a calm, yet concerned tone. "Moonbase has been trying to track Miss Hagakure with the Code Module, but it's come up empty. Either she has left the planet or she's concealing her chi to hide from enemies."

"Based on my research, it might actually be both." Momo said. "Those pirates were wanted criminals from Planet Mobius. Although they're listed as B-rank criminals, they're subordinates of the Kremling Krew."

"The Kremling Krew… Isn't the Brotherhood allied with them?" Deku asked, connecting the dots.

"They are. That makes them extremely dangerous. And Toru's combat experience is average at best. If she gets discovered, it'll be the end for her."

"I wish I knew that before throwing her onto the ship! !" Ochaco panicked.

"Remind me how Toru even passed the Entrance Exam?" Bakugo asked snidely.

"You really ought to be more supportive in these situations." Tsu said.

"Do not forget that Toru is technically naked." Mineta reminded them. "She may have a tiny chance of survival if her captors submit her to rather unsavory things."

"And you probably shouldn't speak."

"Everyone." Attention was directed to Mr. Aizawa, who was holding up his phone. "I've just received an email from Hagakure."

"Is she okay?!" Ochaco exclaimed.

"Just come and see this for yourself."

Nearly all the students rammed into each other as they crowded around the phone, eager to know the current condition of their friend. The email contained a lot of content, but it was written in a rushed fashion.

From: King Krusha

Subject: From Toru Hagakure

Those pirates took me to King K. Rool's hideout and I'm sending this using his email. The ship I was on flew through hyperspace and landed on an ocean afterward. When I looked over I saw a bunch of other ships and I figured out these belonged to his Kommanders. (For some reason auto-correct spells it that way on this computer.) Before the horn blew I heard the captain yell "Set a course for Mobius!" I'm not actually sure if I'm on Planet Mobius or something but I noticed the fortress has a bridge connected to one of those old-timey Japanese buildings.

They're still keeping Eri alive as far as I know, but they're trying to force her horn to grow and giving her sleeping drugs. It sounds like their plan is…

"To revert Mobians to an infant mentality so he can control them?!" Deku exclaimed.

"The 'K' in K. Rool must stand for 'Krazy.'" Tsu remarked.

"It doesn't matter what his evil plans are or how bad his spelling is!" Iida declared passionately. "We MUST go to K. Rool's fortress and rescue them!"

"Don't be so hasty." Aizawa stated. "I want to save her as much as you do, but there's still a lot we don't know. And since this email came from K. Rool's account, we'll blow her cover if we try to reply to her."

"We aren't even sure where on Mobius she is." Ochaco replied. "All we have to go on is their base is close to some Japanese buildings, on a coast."

"I tried looking those up and found this." Momo said, presenting a computer created from her being. The small device displayed an image of a mountainous region with red Japanese buildings built into the thin peaks. "The Gigan Rocks are ancient ruins that lie in a mountain range close to the sea. According to news reports, travelers haven't been able to go there due to bands of thugs making it their hangout.

"That has to be where Eri is! Let's go to Mobius and rescue her!" Deku declared.

"Do you even know who K. Rool is?" Aizawa asked. "He's recognized across the galaxies as a Pirate Emperor, meaning he's one of the most dangerous criminals in the universe. If we get in a fight with him, there's a very high chance we would lose. We could ask other sectors to help us, but that will leave their towns vulnerable to villain attacks."

"Besides, if we cause too much of a scene," Tsu inferred, "they could quickly move Eri to another location."

"Why don't we tell the Mobian government about K. Rool's secret base?" Ochaco asked. "If he's planning to attack the planet, they need to know."

"Absolutely." Iida agreed. "The GKND should be contacted about this for starters, and they could take matters in alerting the Mobian government."

"There's still a chance the Kremlings could have Eri taken away." Deku stated. "Maybe before K. Rool catches on to the invasion, we can sneak into the base and try to rescue her. We'll take them by surprise, and if they try to take Eri somewhere else, Toru can delay them somehow. I know it seems like a long shot, but we have to try."

"Normally I would shoot down such a reckless plan… but at the same time, you're probably right." Aizawa replied. "Even so, I don't think we'll be able to infiltrate the stronghold without getting in a fight. But I think a smaller invasion won't prompt K. Rool into moving Eri. If he hopes to see his plan through, he'll need to act fast by that time, or the Mobians will be ready to counteract. With that said, we'll need the right heroes to take with us."

"Well, off the bat, I think Koji's Quirk can be a real big help!" Ochaco beamed. "He can control animals, and the Kremlings are all animals, right?" Koji blushed at her recommendation.

"And in the event we encounter K. Rool," Aizawa began, "I can prevent him from using his Haki. Then it would be up to figuring out the weak spots that Toru mentioned. Either way, escaping from him takes priority over damaging him."

"You know, I've been trying to contact my father ever since the kidnapping." Shoto said. "He would honestly be a major help in this. But… neither my family nor the office have seen him all day."

Somewhere outside the atmosphere

"Ho hoo hoo HOO!" Deadpool laughed. "Abducting a top dog hero! Ain't this the score of the century!"

"Uuuuuugh…" Endeavor, a muscular man with red hair, moaned sickly on his chi-cuffed chair.

"Relax, buddy boy, I ain't your assassin today. I'm just the delivery boy. Old Kroctus knows you heroes are gonna wanna shot at his head, so I gotta confuse them a little. But don't worry! You'll get your chance at him in about 15 chapters from now. He wants to put on a show for his would-be kingdom."

Hyrule; Lomei Labyrinth

Two Lizalfos charged at Cheren with metal boomerangs in hand. Blindfolded, Cheren saw the aura of the Lizalfos swing their weapons, giving him leeway to dodge them and strike back. "Ah, that's another two down. And I bet there's a treasure chest that-away!" He turned down a right path.

Lomei was a massive maze built atop a snowy mountain, with its Goal Point in the center. It was visible behind a cage from the entrance, but a special path would be required to find it. Bisky tasked Cheren with finding all the treasures, including minor items inside boxes, and killing all the demons, while being blindfold and shirtless of course. Those treasures also included flags that Bisky had stuck onto the walls of the maze at different heights, forcing Cheren to climb up the solid surfaces to retrieve them. Still, she had to admit, he was grasping the basics of Observation Haki a lot sooner than she thought he would. Still, this would only be the beginning of his new development…

Speaking of which, Bisky sensed Panini prancing up to her in a rage. "Ay'm gonna take a wild guess and say Cheren is lost in this maze."

"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you have more bad news to report." Bisky remarked.

"Yes! Sector W was sent on a mission, but they haven't come back! Rainbow Monkey Island was surrounded by Kremling ships, so we think they were captured. You know our cousins are in that sector!"

"Then you better send a rescue party or something."

"…Just spill it, Bisky. What kind of sick game are you playing?"

"I already told you, my goal is to train Cheren to be a worthy leader. This training isn't just to teach him Haki… it's to teach him resolve. As long as he remains here, he'll be blissfully unaware of any unfortunate happenings to his operatives. But if he truly cares and wishes to return to them, he will sense that something is wrong. That will be the ultimate test of his Haki."

"That's your excuse, is it? Well, let me say this: Ay don't fancy lettin' ya carry on without some sort of bribe."

"Sigh. How many Rupees do you want?"

"Not THAT kind of bribe! Ay mean a good old Fire Punch to the face. For every operative that's reported missing or in danger during Cheren's absence, Ay get to take my anger out on you. And you can't defend yourself, capiche?!"

Bisky sighed again. This was an unnecessary complication to her plan, but as long as it would keep Cheren in the dark… "Very well. Have at it."

So, Panini put full furry in her fist and lay the punches. "HYYYAH!"

…

…

Okay, that chapter was short, so here's a bonus one-shot! This one-shot was made as a tribute to Banjo-Kazooie's invitation to Super Smash Bros.!!! We're SO glad to have you back, Banjo!!

Old Mr. Banjo

Coruscant; Heaven's Arena, Year 2035

The audience was raving at the sight of the fallen Goron giant, his boulder body denting the floor like a crater. His conqueror had been a tall, slender woman in sleek black clothes. "What a spectacular performance by our lovely witch, Bayonetta!" the announcer, The Riddler spoke.

"This lug wasn't even a challenge!" Bayonetta retorted. "Can't you give me something a little bigger?"

"That won't be necessary, Milady. In acknowledgement of your superb winning streak, we have invited a VERY special contestant!"

"Yooka, this must be it!!" exclaimed a purple bat in the audience, shaking her chameleon friend. "He's coming, he's coming!"

"I know, Laylee! It's gotta be Mr. Banjo! …! THERE HE IS!"

"Indeed, this duo is an Avalaran legend, two of the greatest KND operatives of all time! Rumor has it that they turned down the offer to join Galactic Kids Next Door."

With anticipation, everyone faced the opposite entrance. Bayonetta was eager to meet her next match, yet found herself… dissatisfied. In walked a large, brown bear with a long face, marching on his hind legs and clothed in yellow shorts and a blue backpack. The audience, however, erupted with more cheers than they had shown Bayo. "THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS! It is none other than the witch-slaying duo, BANJO AND KAZOOIE!" The red bird in question peeped out of Banjo's backpack.

"BANJO-KAZOOIE! BANJO-KAZOOIE!"

"So, you're the reason the stands are so full today!" Bayonetta deduced. "Why would anyone be excited over a pair of sapient animals? Seriously, we have a whole planet of them! There's even a few in the audience!"

"Didn't you hear what that guy just said, lady?!" Kazooie asked. "We're professional Witch Slayers!"

"Well, uh, that's not quite accurate, Kazooie." Banjo said sheepishly. "We only got that title because of Gruntilda."

"Enough talkin', get back to fighting!" a short man named Enzo yelled. "C'MON, Bayonetta, turn those two into rugs!!"

"And while this exciting combat commences," began Riddler, "I will happily share with you the tale of how Banjo-Kazooie earned their fame!" And so, the announcer turned on the stereos, and an energetic banjo was playing.

Banjo and Kazooie gave Bayonetta a sharp glare, while she merely returned a smirk. The witch charged at them and swiped her leg with terrific might!

Spiral Mountain, Year 1998

"D'OH/DAG!" The bear and bird were thrown forcefully out of the silo, bouncing violently along the ground.

"No way you lazy dolts are passing CND Training with that slapdash performance-huptup!" yelled Jamjars, a brown mole in a green soldier's uniform. "Come back when you master the basics-tup!" With a leap, Jamjars dove back into the silo, the hatch closing.

The buddy duo rubbed their aching heads. "Gawrsh, Kazooie, I didn't expect CND to be so hard."

"Banjo, I swear if you say 'gawrsh' one more time, I'm gonna peck your brains out. Seriously, you're not freaking Goofy!"

"Okay, I'll stop."

"Hiya, Banjo. Hi, Kazooie." Another mole peeped out of a red mound of soil behind them. He had goggles and a red patterned shirt. "Training didn't go very well, I take it?"

"Not really, Bottles. We were up against some really tough cadets in the combat training. At least the vehicle construction was fun."

"Why do you want to go into combat, anyway?"

"Because Big Boy here can't do anything else." Kazooie remarked.

"Neither can you, Kazooie!"

"Anyway, I thought this would happen," Bottles said, "but you shouldn't give up just yet, Banjo! I made a training course just for you two! I may not be good at combat, but that doesn't mean I can't teach you a few basic moves. Then you can pick up more once you're in training!"

"I hope these moves will actually be useful, Bogeyes." Kazooie remarked.

"You're the one who'll have to make herself useful, Feather Brain!"

…

To practice his jumping, Bottles lined up a stairway of tree trunks. The first set was simple for Banjo's legs alone, but his attempts to jump the large gaps were rewarded with smashing into the ground. "Kazooie, when Banjo jumps, try to flap your wings to give him an extra boost."

"Uhh-wheeee!" Following Bottles' instruction, Kazooie rapidly flapped her wings to help them cross the large gaps, but Banjo's weight overcame her and they both fell again.

Just as they lie after another painful fall, heads spinning, a little girl bear with blonde pigtails raced up in an excited manner. "Banjo, why are you playing with Bottles?!" She jumped in place impatiently. "You said you would take me on an adventure!"

"Guh, sorry, Tooty. Training didn't go very well, so Kazooie and I need extra practice if we're gonna catch up."

"Fine, you big lazy brother! I'll go exploring by myself!!" The flustered little sister scampered off.

After a while, Banjo and Kazooie were able to perfect the Double Jump, but now they had to climb high platforms up a taller tree. Banjo crouched down, and as he thrusted up and jumped, Kazooie stretched her wings and bent back to perform the Flap Flip.

…

The duo performed a nimble Flap Flip to dodge Bayonetta's kick, and once above the witch, they counterattacked with a Ground Pound. The witch was forced into the floor, but she recovered quickly, grabbed Banjo's backpack, and hurled them to the arena wall. She ran for the next attack, only to be stabbed by the Beak Barge attack!

"Little did Tooty know that she was in for more than she bargained on this adventure." Riddler continued. "As we soar to the tallest tower on Spiral Mountain, we meet our wicked antagonist!" To add emphasis, he controlled a camera outside the tower. It was displayed on the screens as the camera flew up and up the tower, going into a window.

…

In an almost seamless transition, the camera glided into Gruntilda's Lair. The wicked witch was wiggling her fingers over a gray cauldron with a face. "Dingpot Dingpot, by the bench! Find me a lovely little wench."

"There are many beauties in this world, like Bernadette, the eldest Cavendish girl."

"Oh, how I'd LOVE to suck her beauty, but I'll need a good test subject for this duty."

"Then how about Tooty, this little bear?" The green ooze displayed a vision of the bear wandering the mountain. "She lives down the mountain, just over there."

"A lovely bear, she will do! Lardmaster! I have need of you." A broomstick with a face swooped in as Grunty hopped on. "I will find this little pretty, and make her ugly, what a pity! RAAAAKAHAHAHAHA!"

Tooty played a little song on her piccolo as she carefreely skipped up the mountain. She was high enough to where she could see Bottles' training ground. It appeared Kazooie was shattering small boulders with her beak by thrusting out of her backpack. "Rakahahahaha!"

"Huh? What's that?" Tooty faced up at the sky and saw a dark-green streak cutting across the mountain. Whatever this thing was, it seemed to be flying straight for her!

"Stay right there, my little bear! You're coming straight up to my lair!"

"AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

While in the middle of practicing the Rat-a-Tat Rap, the buddy duo heard a familiar cry in the distance. "Kazooie, that sounded an awful lot like Tooty."

"She's probably faking it. Give us the next target, Bottles, I'm on a good streak!"

"No, look up there, you guys!" Bottles panicked, adjusting his goggles to zoom in on a flying thing. "It's the witch that lives up the mountain, Gruntilda! She's holding Tooty by the hair!"

"Tooty?! Kazooie, we have to save her!" Banjo bolted up the mountain immediately.

"You guys, wait!" Bottles dug underground and quickly burrowed in their direction. Partway up the mountain, he popped out in front of them. "You can't just chase after Grunty! She's a big business tycoon who's really famous in the supervillain market. All kinds of baddies buy things from her. And besides, you've barely started training. Let's call one of the other sectors to save Tooty."

"You expect me to wait and let Grunty boil her alive?!"

"If you wanna train us some more, you can do it on the way! Come on, Banjo, hurry up!" Kazooie yelled.

"G-Guys, wait!" Bottles called to no avail as his friends were scurrying up the mountain. "Ohhh… this is gonna be a long day."

The duo made it near the top, going up the titular Spiral Mountain in the middle of a moat. At the peak of the winding mountain, a rickety bridge stretched to the gaping mouth of Gruntilda's Lair. A replica of the witch's head, the entrance gazed at them with emerald eyes. They could feel an unsettling air as they crossed the bridge, drawing closer to the dark lair. They passed Gruntilda's teeth and entered.

…

Bayonetta summoned a dark serpent from a portal, SNAPPING its teeth over Banjo. "'Bet you've never seen THIS level of darknessbending!" However, they broke out of the snake's grasp, Kazooie shielding Banjo with golden wings. The angered witch conjured and attacked them with a barrage of giant demonic arms, but the duo's Wonder Wing made them invincible, for they hadn't budged an inch! She decided to lunge at them directly with a swipe of her arm. The Wonder Wing had worn out just then, and it seemed that Bayonetta sliced them in two—in truth, Kazooie leapt out of Banjo's backpack! The bear imbued the pack with Haki and WHACKED the witch, and then Kazooie shot her in the head with rock solid blue eggs.

"Banjo's journey begins as he embarks on a noble quest to save his sister! Why, it was so noble that Nintendo decided to rip off this very plot when designing Zelda: The Wind Waker. Why, one could even theorize that Tooty is the reincarnation of Link's sister, but muah hahahaha, that's ridiculous."

…

Gruntilda threw Tooty into a mechanical chamber, which was part of a pair, and she was sealed inside. "Now, with Tooty, I will test my beauty machine, it is the best!" She entered the other chamber. "Hurry, Klungo, press that switch. It's time to become a pretty witch!"

Klungo, a short ogre in a white lab coat, tapped buttons on a keyboard. "Hurrr… Problem, Missstressss Grunty. Glitchessss in machine."

"Bah! You wretched oaf." She stomped out. "I oughta send you to the goaf! Fix it by the day's end, or Grunty will turn you to a hen!"

"Let me out of here, you fat hag!" Tooty banged on the chamber. "Or my brother will come and kick your butt!"

"Rescue you he would not dare. There's many dangers in my lair. Ah, but there he is, the fun begins!" She noticed the bear on a security camera. "My tricks and traps will see who wins. RAK KAHAHAHAHA!"

…

"Banjo, I thought we were gonna save Tooty!" Kazooie stated after they went outside. "Why did we go outside?"

"I didn't go back, we should still be in the lair! …But I didn't think… there would be a whole mountain in here."

They were staring perplexed at a steep mountain, giant termites and purple Grublins wandering the area. Bottles dug out of the ground and explained, "Banjo, Gruntilda uses powerful magic to create artificial landscapes inside her massive lair. She does this by collecting materials from real settings. After all, you can't make something from nothing."

"But why would she do all this?"

"Word is, she uses these worlds to give homes to homeless people, but they have to work for her in return. It's not worth it if you ask me."

"HEY!" They heard a whistle. "Over here! Help!" They saw a nearby platform with a purple, beaked creature in a cage. Banjo-Kazooie hopped up to the platform.

"Are you another prisoner of Gruntilda?" Banjo asked.

"Yes! Grunty captured a ton of people from the Jinjo Tribe. These cages are designed to suck our magic power into little containers."

"We'll get you out! Stand back a bit." He ducked and had Kazooie deal a Rat-a-tat Rap, shattering the cage bars!

…

Kazooie ran laps around Bayonetta with breakneck speed, the witch struggling to stomp her with giant demonic legs, and after one failed attempt, Kazooie vanished! "Bayo, above you!" Enzo yelled, the witch facing up: Kazooie had leapt all the way to the ceiling, but the fact had distracted Bayo enough for Banjo to envelop the witch in his backpack. Bayonetta shook in the pack as Banjo swung it around and threw it toward Kazooie. The witch escaped the Infi-Space pack, but was met with a Bill Drill to the face!

…

"Banjo, these should make the feathered freak a lot more useful!" Bottles said, dropping a bunch of Blue Eggs and red and gold feathers down. "Kazooie's a Breegull. Breegulls can store a ton of these eggs inside their bodies and shoot them for ammunition. These Red Feathers can enhance their wings to make them carry heavy loads, and the Gold Feathers can create an unbreachable shield."

"Hah! And Banjo gets nothing! Hear that, buddy, I'm my own arsenal!"

"I guess you're right, Kazooie. In that case, you can climb this tower and fight all of Grunty's minions yourself."

"Eh, b-but I'll let you tag along and share the glory. I'm nice like that!"

"Nice save, Chicken." Bottles remarked.

In order to ascend the steep slopes of Mumbo's Mountain, the duo had to perfect the Talon Trot, wherein Kazooie carried Banjo up the slopes, though she slipped down a few times while trying to keep her legs steady. The Blue Eggs fit easily down her throat, though hacking them back out at a good enough speed to be used as a bullet was the real challenge. There were a great many techniques to be learned in such a short amount of time. On their own free time, they would've already called it a day, but they didn't have that luxury with Tooty's life on the line. The weight of the situation filled them with more stamina and focus than they've ever felt before, until eventually, they could utilize their moves as if they were second nature.

…

Banjo grabbed Kazooie and stretched her like a gun, and Bayonetta grabbed her own twin guns. They rotated around the arena, shooting Dark Bullets and Ice Eggs. Any stray shots would hit the force-field protecting the audience. "Resilient Banjo and Kazooie ascended floor after floor of Grunty's Tower of Tragedy! He spent days—nay, YEARS—in his arduous quest to rescue his sister!" Riddler spoke with enthusiasm.

"It only took a day!" Banjo yelled.

"A DAY, ladies and germs, THAT'S how mighty and brilliant our great Banjo is! But his brilliance would be put to the test, facing an endless slew of riddles concocted by the devious Gruntilda! With each challenge Banjo-Kazooie conquered, they traversed another layer up the tower, no different than what they are doing in this very tower! Of course, Heaven's Arena is all about brawn than brain. If I were in charge of this tower, things would be quite different. But before he knew it, just as his brains were all but fried, he set foot on the top of the tower, and faced off with Gruntilda."

Banjo returned Kazooie to the backpack. Bayonetta rushed in for another direct attack, but the Breegull stretched her wings and lifted Banjo to the ceiling!

…

Banjo-Kazooie leaped to the top of the tower, a gate sealing the way down. "I can't believe that furry pair got right up here, it's so unfair! But now the stupid bear must fight; this battle tests your skill and might! Rakahahahaha!" Gruntilda flew her broom in circles above the tower, and without warning, swooped to and fro along the ground, ramming Banjo with deadly force. They struggled to get a focus on her, but when they anticipated her trajectory, they shot an egg directly into her face, bending Gruntilda's chin as she briefly bumped along the ground.

…

From the air, Kazooie coughed a barrage of Grenade Eggs at Bayonetta, the witch nimbly dodging. She formed dark butterfly wings and flew up as well, pursuing the duo in attempt to kick them with Demon Legs. Kazooie flapped forcefully and pulled backwards, shooting Fire Eggs to distract the witch. They lined their selves up, curled into a ball, and "Yuh-oh!" launched toward Bayonetta with a devastating Beak Bomb!

…

"EEEEHHK!" The Beak Bomb crashed right into Grunty's back, flinging the witch 10 meters away, but her trusty broomstick caught her. She drew her Haglock wand (shaped like a gun) and shot explosive meteor spells behind her. The bear and bird dodged the fireworks and eventually centered her in their vision. With another "Yuh-oh," the Beak Bomb flew forth—Grunty dodged, and they missed! The witch whirled her Haglock and summoned her Magnet Spell, a fan-like energy ball that homed in on the duo. They tried to make land in time to use the Wonder Wing, but the spell made impact, severely zapping the duo.

…

Bayonetta KICKED the Beak Bomb like a soccer ball, and they CRASHED into the barrier, painfully bouncing around the arena! "D'OH!" "DAG! Rawk, rawk!" "D'oh…" They lay separated on the floor after finally slowing to a halt, but it felt like their insides were rearranged.

Bayonetta landed and marched up to Banjo, cocking her gun. "You're a has-been, you silly old bear! No matter what you are on your home planet, only the best are allowed to survive in THIS tower. All you're good for is…?" Banjo flipped off his backpack and tucked himself inside it.

"Snoooore…shoooo…snoooore…shoooo…"

"You're joking, right?" Bayo said, unimpressed. "You're taking a nap. Did we interrupt your hibernation—OW!" She was zapped by three Battery Eggs!

Kazooie was zipping around the witch again, spitting more of the electrical eggs, the fastest in her gut! Bayonetta chased, shooting at the Breegull, but Kazooie's speed was like lightning. "DAH!" The witch stepped on a Clockwork Kazooie the bird had dropped on the floor, exploding and blowing her back. She jumped back up to find Kazooie missing, for the Breegull had leapt into the air and lunged at Bayo with a Beak Bomb. "AAAGH!" The bomb impacted her at last, knocking her against the wall, and as Kazooie uncurled, she dove at her with a Bill Drill.

…

"A special shield I need to call, to stop your hits once and for all!" Gruntilda drew a Protego around herself. She continued to shoot meteor spells through the barrier, and she cackled at their pitiful attempts to Beak Bomb through. "Rakahahaha! My magic bubble, you will never pop, and Grunty's plans, you'll never stop—AAIIIEE!" A purple streak suddenly pierced the bubble and pecked Grunty!

"Banjo, we're here to help!"

"The Jinjos?!" To their surprise, dozens of Jinjos were flying onto the sides of the tower. "How did you know we were up here?"

"We heard Gruntilda's cackle from all the way down below. We Jinjos have the power to break magical shields, so leave this part to us!" The colorful creature whirled around the air, leaving trails of sparkles, and with the speed of jets, they punctured the wicked witch!

"NYAH! Those nasty pointy beaks are causing swelling in my cheeks!" She frantically cast her wand in random directions, missing the crafty Jinjos. "Useless Jinjos sneer and hoot, go back right now or taste my—BOOOOOT!" A strike from the bottom SNAPPED Grunty's broom, the witch falling and bouncing onto one of the tower's pegs.

"All together, guys!" Banjo called. "WHEEEEE!" Both he and Kazooie, and the entire swarm of Jinjos took to the sky. Gruntilda furiously cast spells, shooting down all the colored creatures she could, but they swarmed her like bees and stung her with far worse ferocity.

"AAACK!" A Jinjo bent her neck back at a right angle—another dislocated her right shoulder—her left knee was busted—her gut was compressed, yet Gruntilda's furious will kept her conscious, spells flying and Jinjos falling. "Attack all you want, but no matter how much you try, KNOW THAT GRUNTY CAN NEVER DIE!!!"

…

Bayonetta GRABBED Kazooie by the neck, stopping the Bill Drill. "Very well! YOU can be the one to finish him!" She whipped around and SLAMMED the bird to the ground… but Banjo had vanished. "What? Where did that bear run off to…" She skimmed the arena in search of him, unaware of the little backpack waddling behind her. "WAAH!" Banjo sprouted out of the Shack Pack and trapped Bayonetta in it again, imbuing it with Haki as he smashed and bashed it against the floor and wall. Kazooie, having taken lessons from her Jinjo friends, used her Wonder Wing while zooming around the air, the golden feathers allowing her to fly with lightning speed!

…

The Jinjos finally halted, leaving her mangled body open to Banjo-Kazooie. The two curled into a Beak Bomb, spun around to build momentum, and BLAST! They struck Gruntilda like a cannonball, shattering her insides as she blew over the edge of the tower. "IT'S ALL OVER, I CAN TELL! But first I've got just ONE MORE SPELL!" Still clutching her wand, a Killing Curse was cast skyward, intending to hit the buddy duo, but a misdirected aim hit the side of the tower instead. That side severed from the top as boulders fell after Gruntilda. "EEEEEEEEHHHH…"

…

Bayonetta burst out of the backpack and stomped Banjo with a Demon Leg, but gasped at seeing Kazooie lunging toward her. She summoned a Demon Serpent that curled around the air and gnashed at the bird, but Kazooie dodged and pierced Bayonetta with a Golden Bill Drill! Banjo whipped his pack, knocking Bayo over while catching Kazooie, and they leapt over the witch and finished her off with one final Bill Drill!

"WHAT A COMEBACK!" Riddler cheered. "Let's give it up for Banjo-Kazooie! Age hasn't slowed this buddy duo down in the slightest!"

"BANJO-KAZOOIE! BANJO-KAZOOIE!"

"And as we head to our next match, I'll treat you all to the next exciting chapter of Banjo's tale! Fuming with a lust for revenge, Gruntilda returns and mercilessly murders-"

"THERE HE IS!" Riddler gasped and whipped around: the owner of the tower, Shy Mask, had appeared with some Pianta security guards. "That's the LAST time I follow a fake tip about popsicles! THROW HIM OUT!"

"W-Wait! I have an inside man at Nintendo!" Riddler pled hopelessly as the buff guards began to drag him out. "He knows a secret code that can download Banjo to Smash early! It's 846—s-stop, WAIT!"

"Ah, now that that's out of the way," Shy Mask took his seat, "ladies and germs, we've got a special debut bat—what's this?!" Banjo-Kazooie were already on the center stage, taking in the audience's praises. "I missed Banjo-Kazooie's comeback battle?! NOOOOOOOOO!"

…

"You're flippin' my manhole-huptup!" Jamjars exclaimed, eyes popping out of his sunglasses. "This lazy duo actually defeated Gruntilda?!"

"I just KNEW you had it in you, Banjo!" cheered a fellow cadet, a 7-year-old red-haired girl named Chariot.

"What do you say, bro? Are they good enough to be operatives now?" Bottles asked.

"Of course they're good enough!" Tooty cheered, hugging her brother. "Only true operatives can beat a big bad witch like Grunty! Banjo will do great!"

"Don't forget about me! I did most of the work!" Kazooie stated.

"I do admit, Kazooie's right. I kind of feel like I'm falling behind." Banjo replied.

"Then that's gonna hafta change-huptup! You'll get nowhere with Bottles' novice moves. Time for you to learn the advanced set!" Jamjars proclaimed.

…

Meanwhile, Gruntilda and King K. Rool had just witnessed the comeback battle at Hideout Helm. "Mweh heh har! I'm glad to see they haven't slowed down in the slightest! Perhaps I may just challenge Banjo to a duel myself."

"Heeehhh." Gruntilda hissed, now a disembodied skull on an artificial body. "These two think they're well and neat, but there's ONE foe they could NEVER BEAT!"

Heaven's Arena

"Hi, Banjo!" Hearing a familiar voice, the two turned: there stood Canary Mary, dancing in a cocky manner. "Since you're all pumped up, fancy having a comeback race? I've been training for this day for years, and I'm faster than a Mobian hedgehog!"

". . . . D'OOOHH." Banjo-Kazooie dropped in despair as the "Game Over" music played. Grunty tasted their despair on the screen, and cackled to the heavens.

"RAKAHAHAHA HA HA HAAAAH, KA HA HA HAAA, hahaha!"