A few weeks had passed since Zenna and Sola returned to Korriban Academy. I found myself alone in the castle once more. Life had relapsed back to its usual, mundane routine. With Zenna gone, the castle felt emptier, and my days were filled with nothing but endless shitposting, endless boredom, and endless gooning.
I sighed, lounging in my room, scrolling through shitpost after shitpost.
'Is this really the life I want? I'm in Star Wars, but here I am wasting my life away AGAIN. Subsisting purely for easy pleasures.'
I needed something more. I needed excitement, adventure, and, most importantly, freedom.
'I was given a gift to be op as fuck in Star Wars, and to this point in my life, I haven't even gone off-world once yet. Thats fucking stupid. It's time to dawn my second skin. Become the Sith Gotham needs…. Become the Sith Dromund Kaas needs.'
And for that, I needed two things: money and a ship.
The idea had been brewing in my mind for a while now. If I could find a smuggler's ship, I could steal it and finally have the freedom to come and go as I pleased. My parents were extremely hands-off after I was 12.
But where to start? I smile at how easy this should all be. The answer lay in my father's study. Syko Eras, the Sith baron and leader of Ares II, was incredibly trusting, leaving his study unlocked. It wouldn't be hard to break in and search through his datapad for a list of suspected smugglers.
'Thank god my father doesn't believe in passwords.'
With a newfound determination, I made my way to my father's study. The castle was quiet, the servants going about their tasks silently paying me practically no mind at all. I slipped through the grand hallways, my steps echoing softly against the stone floors. Reaching the study, I hesitated for a moment, but then decided to go ghost Danny Phantom style. Invisible to the eye I pushed the door open and slipped inside.
The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the soft glow of the datapad on my father's desk. I approached it cautiously, half-expecting some sort of trap, but there was nothing. Not even weird porn. I'm not disappointed. I just wish the apple didn't fall so far from the tree. I actually feel kinda bad snooping in here. My father's trust in me was absolute.
'I'll get him something nice?'
I picked up the datapad and began scrolling through the files, searching for anything related to smugglers. It didn't take long to find a list of suspected couriers operating in and around Ares II. I skimmed through the names, looking for one that stood out. Finally, I found what I was looking for a smuggler who was suspected of being a Republic sympathizer. I might as well go for someone that will be an easy target. This guy probably won't even have allies or anyone local enough to miss him if he gets thrown in jail. This way, I can just find evidence to cuff him and then steal his ship in the confusion.
"Perfect," I mutter.
With the information I needed, I left the study and headed back to my room to prepare. I donned my Sith Wardrobe that ive been creating in my spare time. It looks exactly like one of those Pay for outfits outta Swtor. The helmet even has a voice changer. Masterworks and all. I grabbed my lightsaber from under my bed and tucked it into my belt.
'I am powerful.'
I Jump out my window and use a cute little force push to break my fall. I grabbed a speeder bike that I stashed close by to the property. It's good to always have an exit strategy. It's funny ive never taken a driven lesson in either life yet I know how to drive this speeder no problem. I wonder if that's the Smuggler class in me? Once again I am reminded that I feel like Neo.
"I know Kung Fu," I mutter as I drive. The Speeder's engine drowning it out.
Once again, no one has responded to my sick Matrix quote. I sigh and frown. My newly christened helmet hides my internal strife.
The smuggler's hideout was located in a rundown part of the city, far from the opulence of the castle, after parking a few blocks away. I moved through the shadows, using my Force abilities to cloak my presence. The streets were quiet, the occasional passerby giving me no notice.
The building was an old warehouse, its exterior weathered and crumbling. I slipped inside, my senses on high alert. The interior was dimly lit, crates and barrels stacked haphazardly around the space. I could hear the groaning of machinery and the faint murmur of voices.
I feel more excited than nervous. I've spent six months training to understand my skills better.
'I am a Jack of all trades, Master of everything.'
I crept closer, peering around a stack of crates. The smuggler was there, tinkering with a small device on a workbench. He was a nervous-looking man, his eyes darting around the room as if expecting trouble. He had no idea what trouble was about to walk through his door.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the shadows. "Looking for something?"
The smuggler jumped, nearly knocking over the device on his workbench. He turned to face me, his hand moving to the blaster at his side.
"A ghost? No, no no, no, no no, I don't fuck with ghosts."
'Oh whoops'
I chuckle. I forgot to uncloak myself. I made myself visible to him, and he actually seemed to calm down.
"Who are you?" he barked.
"I am Darth Relic."
As I speak, I ignite my Saber to intimidate him.
The smuggler relaxes as he stares at my lightsaber.
"Oh, thank god you're a Jedi. I thought I got caught by a Sith or something."
'Huh?'
I look down. The Saber I stole from the Jedi is a bright blue color. Humming in harmony in my hand.
'FUCK, I Forgot to bleed the fucking crystal!'
"I am certainly not a Jedi!" I announce.
The smuggler's eyes narrowed, his hand tightening on his blaster.
"I don't know what you want, but you had better get out of here before I call for backup."
"Backup?" I chuckled. "I doubt it, cowboy! But if you want to do this the hard way, be my guest."
The smuggler's face twisted with fear and anger. He drew his blaster and fired. Red bolts Flying through the air. I reacted instinctively deflecting the shots with ease. One of the bolts ricocheted back at him, striking him in the leg. He fell to the ground with a gasp, the blaster slipping from his hand as I force pushed it away.
I stood over him, my lightsaber casting an annoying heroic blue glow over his pale face. "That was a mistake."
The smuggler's eyes were wide with fear. "Please… don't kill me…"
I deactivated my lightsaber and crouched down beside him. "I'm not going to kill you. But I need something from you."
The smuggler nodded frantically, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "Anything… just don't kill me…"
"Where's your ship?" I demanded.
He pointed weakly towards a door at the back of the warehouse. "Through there… in the hangar…"
"Good."
I stood up and glanced towards the door.
'This guy already took a shot to the leg; I think I'd feel bad if I arrested him too.'
"Stay here. If you try anything, I'll kill you."
'Might as well inspect the goods before I decide his fate.'
Leaving the smuggler on the floor, I made my way to the hangar. The door creaked open, revealing a small, dimly lit space. And there it was, the smuggler's ship. An ancient XS Stock Light Freighter retrofitted with a modern hyperdrive. It was old but perfect.
"Shit, I didn't expect a ship I knew of."
I approached the ship, my heart pounding with excitement as if a boy were seeing one of his favorite video games come to life. Here it is. My ticket to freedom. I ran my hand along the hull, feeling the cold metal beneath my fingers. It was old, but it was sturdy. And it was mine now.
"EAT LASER NERF HERDER!"
To my surprise, my spidey sense tingles, and in slow motion, I see a red bolt coming towards me. Reacting quickly, I stopped the bolt in place.
'Oh shit, I Kylo Renned it.'
I Quickly channel my Jedi strength to ragdoll the smuggler at the wall while I use my Sith strength to hold the bolt. I released it safely into the ground. My eyes go wide as I see a bloody puddle around the head of the smuggler.
'Oh fuck'
I get to him, taking his pulse. He's still alive, but barely. He is unconscious but breathing funny. Head trauma is really bad.
"Fuck man, I gotta get you help."
My body goes weak from the thought of killing someone. I want to be a Sith, sure, but it's mostly all larp for now. I mean, sure, I'd kill someone in self-defense.
'This was self-defense.'
Suddenly, I remember once again. This is certainly not earth. This man is only in this condition because he didn't listen to me. I sigh, still wanting to help him. As I lay on my knees, still overwhelmed with anxiety, I saw a lightsaber ignite from behind me through the man's chest.
"What the fuck?"
I had been so overwhelmed with my fear of killing I wasn't listening to what was around me. I look behind me as I suddenly feel the aura of wrath itself there.
"You sure have been busy tonight, kiddo."
A pale human woman with a scowl looks at me. My Dredd rises like cream on coffee.
"MOM!"
There she was in all her glory, the most powerful sith living on Ares II. The Baroness Hela Eras.
"You've had quite the busy night, haven't you?" She eyed me up and down, now pointing her red Saber at me. "And holding a tool of the Jedi?"
I am more overwhelmed than I think I have ever been in two, albeit short, lives.
"Wait, Mom, I stole this. I'm not some Jedi Sympathizer."
"I know."
"Huh?"
"Honey", She smiles with a cocky grin. "You don't think you can keep any secret from your dear mother, do you? Since the incidents with the wet nurse, I've made sure to keep an eye on you."
'What? How much does she know?'
"How much…."
My mother interrupts me.
"Honey, it's okay." Suddenly, she hugs me tightly. "I know you've been practicing with that silly weapon you stole from the Jedi while you were protecting your sister. I know that you have a strength unseen by the Sith for generations."
She grins wide with manic eyes. A worryingly common thing for me to see in women lately.
"And I know you don't only rely on the dark side."
I almost shit myself.
"But I don't care; I am simply happy to see you not holed up in your room masturbating anymore."
'She is dropping bomb after bomb on me right now. Jesus Christ
"Honey, when you were born, I could feel it. Something deep inside you. It is as if you are connected to the force in extremely conflicting ways. To use the light and the dark, I see why you'd hide it from us. But as your mother, I promise you can do no wrong."
'Her and Zenna are just two fucking creepy peas in a pod.'
My mother starts waltzing with me, and it's so weird. I sigh, exhausted.
"Obviously, we won't tell your father about any of this. He's not ready for you to become a man, let alone whatever force monster you are." She spoke the word monster with pride.
She continues. "This smugglers base. This will be a good place for you to use as your base of operations. To become this…" She looks me up and down. "Darth Relic character you're so clearly attached to."
"You want me to pursue this?" I spoke in surprise.
"Oh honey I dont know what you are but when you stopped that bafoons blaster shot earlier I felt the strength of a champion. Whatever you are, you need the freedom of growth right now. I can give you a year and some until you will be enrolled into Korriban Academy."
I nod in agreement. All nobles usually have to go when they are 15 years old. At least for the human age, I guess.
"Yes, from now until you enroll I want you to learn how to fly and to stamp out dissidents on this planet. Root out the freedom fighters. Spread the scourge that is Darth Relic." She clearly bit her tongue trying not to laugh at my chosen title.
'Rude'
After all the excitement, my mom used the force to whip the body down the street.
"Clean this place up, A Sith is someone with self respect." She pauses and frowns. "Youre gonna have to learn how to kill Vex. Otherwise you won't have a place here. And if you ever get caught using the Light side of the force the family will be forced to disown you."
My mother put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"But I trust you. You beat a Jedi with no training. This is child's play by comparison."
After she left, I decided to go back to my new ship. I felt bitter looking at it.
"I have given everything up for you. My days will no longer be devoted to gooning. I truly hope you are worth it."
Even after I spoke, the sense of excitement from flying this bad Larry was nearly otherworldly.
With my newfound freedom and goals, I place my hand on the beautifully ancient Corellian ship.
"You need a name."