Scientist_113
I am an author and I write on the tags of Reincarnation, Fantasy and System. Read my novels, I am sure that you will like them.
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Your grammar is not something that can be understood while reading. I had to look through a sentence about five times to ensure I could understand what you wrote. You started your story in Present tense and ended with Past tense. The tense you start with, should be what you use to end. If I am to continue, I might give you a harsh review so I will end here.