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Review Detail of DarkElven6 in New Place, New name

Review detail

DarkElven6
DarkElven6Lv132yrDarkElven6

This story has a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the first three chapters are like a slap to the face. A lot of information is thrown at you and you are not able to properly get a sense of what is going on. Also, I would advise against using brand names like Google for the System name. A lot of world building elements are glossed over like somehow the Main Character is supposed to know these things. This does not make sense. There is a lot of opportunity for the MC to learn about the world but you don't take the time to do that. I would advise the author to take the time to allow the reader to experience the world and grow with the MC. Tell me names of the places the MC visits, who they interact with, and more importantly learn about the System as they come to know the world around them.

New Place, New name

Scientist_113

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Replies3

Scientist_113
Scientist_113AuthorScientist_113

Are you on discord?

Scientist_113
Scientist_113AuthorScientist_113

Thank you for the advice. Please people comment let me know how to improve the book.

DarkElven6
DarkElven6Lv13DarkElven6

Yes. You can find me on the inkstone server