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PrugnaKerai

PrugnaKerai

Lv2

A poet at heart and a student with great aspirations <3, Novel: The History of the Human Heart, Discord: PrugnaKerai#6387

2020-11-02 JoinedUnited Kingdom
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168
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Posted

    I would say the author is raw potential. They need to do more work to make their narrative smoother, which, at the moment is largely chunky and rigid. The grammar is slightly inconsistent in places. They are inexperienced when using a variety of different terminology, and should be wary when overloading the reader with too much detail, expecially names.

    altalt
    The thing we can't reach
    History · Bk1010
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Commented

    I would personally say that using these many names so early on will confuse your readers. It certainly confused me.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    The thing we can't reach
    History · Bk1010
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Commented

    Good intro, however, there are some grammatical issues which need to be addressed

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    The thing we can't reach
    History · Bk1010
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Posted

    There is a wide variety of English which is used by the author, its refreshing to see on Webnovel. But, the read didn't excite me and there was no flow due to the writing and storyline being choppy and incomplete; there is a lack of smooth transition between events, this makes it hard to read. There are some grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes which can be easily be cleared up, the author would just need to have a re-read. I know this a fresh attempt for the author, so all I can say is keep going! Take feedback from your readers, and it is okay if they think different from your vision, its your story. Well done :)

    altalt
    Irene The Lady Who Turned Down Fate
    Fantasy · MayDreamer
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Posted

    It is evident that the author's first language is not English, however, they have done an impressive attempt in writing this novel, so a well done to them. There is a delicate and nice balance between dialogue and description, which is tricky to achieve. I would say that there are moments where the description is rushed and incomplete, there is so much more potential in captivating the reader's imagination, the author just needs to tweak this. Otherwise, a good start.

    altalt
    Life didn't get easier, even in another world.
    Fantasy · daniz_
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Commented

    The repitition of the solar eclipse appearing out of nowhere is unnecessary

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Life didn't get easier, even in another world.
    Fantasy · daniz_
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Posted

    I am aware that the author's first language is not English, hence the irregularities in the grammar, but that's perfectly okay. I'm sure that if this story was written in the author's first language, the grammar would be spot on! It is clear the author has lots of hope for this novel and the potential is definetly there, however, as a reader, it feels as though something is missing; I can't quite put my finger on it. I can see that the author has passion for their novel, so keep it up!

    altalt
    Serendipity...Where true love makes your destiny.
    LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to Scarlettheartt

    Ah I see, okay, thank you for clarifying for me!

    Mr Xie: You have to behave like elite omega, you are my omega husband now.
    altalt
    Serendipity...Where true love makes your destiny.
    LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to daniz_

    Ah, okay, I appreciate the honesty :)

    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to daniz_

    Thank you, would you mind explaining why you gave the 4 stars?

    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to Scarlettheartt

    Thank you for the beautiful review!!

    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Commented

    What's a beauty bone?

    Hmmm. He just made my day. Can you see his sparkling eyes? And those plump lips and look at that long neck and his revealing beauty bones. He is so ethereal.}
    altalt
    Serendipity...Where true love makes your destiny.
    LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Commented

    Omegas shouldnt have an apostrophe, and it would be smoking hot not smoky

    {Crowd: Wow, just look at that charming man there, I think he is one of those rare omega's. Have you seen his shirt? Isn't he looking smoky hot?
    altalt
    Serendipity...Where true love makes your destiny.
    LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Commented

    There is a word missing before 'elite'

    Mr Xie: You have to behave like elite omega, you are my omega husband now.
    altalt
    Serendipity...Where true love makes your destiny.
    LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to Devanshi_Rathod

    Aw, thank you so much! I am glad you're enjoying it :)

    Ch 1 Part 1: The Myth of the Grieving Soul
    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to Scarlettheartt

    Thank you!

    Ch 1 Part 1: The Myth of the Grieving Soul
    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to Devanshi_Rathod

    Thank you a great deal for this beautiful review! I am thrilled you enjoyed the journey of my characters :)

    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Posted

    An overall good read. However, there were moments where I found myself losing interest in the characters and in the story itself. The author's use of grammar, punctuation and spelling is great, but there is a lack of enthusiasm and diversity of expression in the writing and narration. I wish the author all the best, they have potential, which is the most important thing in the long run!

    This book has been deleted.
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to beloved_writer

    Thank you for your review and honesty! The chapter's being too long is up to individual preference, in a normal hand-held book my chapter lengths are more than adequate, however, I can understand that through a screen it does appear different. Thanks once again :)

    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail
  • PrugnaKerai
    PrugnaKerai2yr
    Replied to Darine_ALRAMMAH

    You gave at least 4 other stories the exact same review. If you want people to read your work, lying is not the way to do it, rather honesty and integrity would do the trick. Its embarrassing.

    altalt
    The History of the Human Heart
    Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
    detail