It's been two days since i got the most painful experience in my life, I've been absent in school for two days, after that embarrassing incident that caused by a devil who i thought was an angel, she is the prettiest girl that i have ever seen, she is a tall girl with black hair, brown eyes that shines brighter than diamond, smooth brown skin, and she has the cutest smile in the earth's crust. I have a secret crush on her since the 8th grade, from the first time i saw her i told myself that she is the one i want to grow up with, from that day i wrote poems that shows how much i like her, but I can't give it to her because im too afraid to do so...

Two years have passed, we're on the 10th grade, i decided that i will confess my love to her ofcourse by the use of the words that i wrote on a piece of paper, a poem, a poem with my heart and emotion with it, a poem that can make her mine, even if it is late at night i tried to write the poem that will change my life in that poem i wrote everything she has to know, i finished writing that poem at 3:00 am in the morning, i feel so sleepy but I cannot sleep, thinking that if she loved this poem i will give her all the poems that i wrote for her from the first time i saw her on 8th grade, the time passed and I didn't noticed that i fell asleep already i am smiling while snoring feeling excited for what will happen this morning

A loud noise from the alarm of my phone has woken me, with excitement, i fixed my bed, brush my teeth, eat my breakfast, and wait for school bus. The feeling of excitement and nervousness is flowing in my blood, fear can be seen in my eyes, i am afraid of what will be her reaction, i am not sure if i can do this. The bus has arrived, i stood up and told myself that im gonna do this no matter what happen.

The bus arrived at school, i walk down and enter the school gate, upon entering i saw her standing in front of her classroom, then fear has swalloed me from inside, i can't give this paper to her, i can't tell her how i feel, i can't tell her that i am already inlove with her. Because of that fear i ran towards the grassfield, in this school that grassfield is my stress and pain reliever, if i have problems, i walk around the grassfield to have time and for my self. if i am inpired, you can find me there, writing poems for the love of my life.

While sitting on the grassfield, i heard the ringing bell. It is time to enter the classroom and listen to the lectures of my teacher, the morning passed and i missed the chance to confess my love, "it's okay" i told myself, "i still have a lot of time, on lunch time i will definitely give her this paper"...

Lunch time, i went to the school canteed to buy my lunch, i brought two piece of fried chicken and a cup of rice for luch, after eating i saw this beautiful girl entering the door of school canteen. I walked towards her, gave her my poem on a piece of paper, and told her "i made this poem for you, i hope you like it" then with her left hand she took my poem, read the title, smile, and shouted..."EVERYONE, LISTEN, THIS GUY WROTE A POEM FOR ME, LET ME READ THIS FOR YOU GUYS" then she red my poem loudly inside the school canteen, with other students listening

                          ""It Is You"
It is you, the girl with the prettiest smile
Without seing that, i can't let my day goes by
It is you, who brought a warm sunshine
In this cold rainy life of mine
It is you, the light that brightens 
The darkest lonely nights of mine
Its is you, who fills my heart with emotions
And bring my world the colors

It is me, you probably didn't know me
But you don't need to know my name
Because this day is so crazy
I waited for so long to tell you this secret
This feeling that is hidden for 2 whole years
Will finally be out with tears, im very shy
But this is love that i feels""




After that line, all the students in the canteen laughed hard, she didn't finish reading my poem, she laughed at me "do you really think someone like me would love you back, have you ever looked yourself on the mirror? How can i love you if you're not even that cute..."
She continues to talk while laughing but I didn't hear everything maybe because the noise from other students are too loud, or i just don't want to hear what she is saying,

Because of embarrassment i left the shool, return home, cry, and for two whole days I didn't attend my class, i make muself busy by burning every poems that i wrote for her, while collecting all that poems i realized that it is already eight notebooks, filled with foolish feelings and emotions, i watched those notebooks to turn to dust with my emotions for that evil girl...

Today my life will continue, everyone in the school knows who i am, not by my name, but by the embarrassment that that girl brought me, while walking to my classroom everyone looks at me, laugh at me, and killing me inside

A guy who loves to write poems got rejected by the love of his life, from that day, he only make sad poems that can bring heart ache to his readers

Kleon : "You are so Intelligent!"

Me : "You thought I am a fool and a person with no intelligence?"

Kleon : "Not like that."

We were walking together to the Zombire and chatting. But we were walking a bit fast. The map is easy ro understand. Kleon is following the map and I am following her. 

Kleon : "I discovered something last time here. That's this world doesn't floats in air. Everything is on soil. Nothing can floats in the air."

Me : "Oh, more like our human world."

Kleon : "Yeah, Sibachu is the only one who likes to play the most, I think."

Me : "Um..hey. When will we use our sauro?"

Kleon : "We have to face many problems in our journey. So, the sauros will help us."

Me : "How to use them?"

Kleon : "Just follow my lead, okay? I am not a good teacher to teach you."

Me : "You can be one if you try."

Kleon : "I would rather not."

Watch : "First mission accessed! We are now in the Zombire!"

Kleon : "Great! First mission accomplished!"

So, this is Zombire, huh? I can see a Zombie and Vampire's habitation in distance. They are genuine ghosts. The Zombire place is awesome! Very beautiful! 

Me : "Where is the next hint?"

Kleon : "Gotta search for it."

Me : "Hey, you said we have to face problems during our journey! But we didn't face any problem in the path till now!"

Kleon : "Nobody faces problems too soon in the game. Are you praying to get into problems?"

Me : "Only praying so I can use my blue sauro."

Kleon : "Huh...Let's find it. You will search in the East. I will go in the West. Then you will find in the North and I will find in the South."

Me : "Deal."

We got separated and started finding. I went to the East side and she went to the West side.

Me: "Where can it be...where can it be ."

I am paying full attention to find it. But Kleon didn't told me what are we looking for! Seriously ?! 

Confused with no answer, I keep looking for something to might work as a hint. Kanjo gave us a piece of paper with a poem written there as the first hint, if I recall. 

Maybe the second hint will be also a piece of paper with a poem written, I guess? I was finding for a paper with my head bowed down.

I heared a sound so I looked up and - 

Me : "AAHHH!!"

A Vampire suddenly appeared in my vision out of the blue! He scared me! But the Vampire doesn't seon to understand that. 

He is looking at me blankly with no Reaction and no expression at all.

Me: "Umm."

well ... it's awkward. He is not moving or talking either. Frozen at his spot, I break the silence. 

Me : "Hi! Nice meeting you! If you don't mind, may I go?" 

Still no response from him. I guess, I will have to go avoiding him. I do so. I try to forget about him and find the next hint. 

His gaze is falling upon me and It can be realized without looking behind. Not a important thing right now, I keep looking for a piece of paper everywhere in the East side. The whole place is too big that it will take forever to find a piece of paper! 

I started finding in the North side. Right then, Kleon shouts aloud!

Kleon "Alice! I found it! Come back to our starting point!"

Phew! So she finally found it! I go back to our starting point. She was waiting for me there.

Me : "So you found it? What's it this time?"

Kleon : "A poem again."

Kleon holds the paper between us and I take a look at it. The poem is–

"Hunty, Munty died in a yard,
They will survive, forever in my heart."

Well.. It's kind of romantic poem. Isn't it? We exchange glances with each other.

Kleon : "Well? You know the answer?"

Me : "Nope. Let me think. "

I take out the piece of paper from my pocket and read the 4 names of those places again. 1) Zombirce 2) Horseland 3) Soulhunter and t) Love graveyard. 

Which one of them does the poem refer to? I think hard. I try to find logics with the names and the poem. But I couldn't come up with some thing. Who knows how much time we have left?

Kleon : "Idea!"

Me : "Found it? What's it?"

Kleon : "Love graveyard! Maybe."

Me : "How?"

Kloon : "It said Hunty, Munty died in a yard. Love graveyard also includes the world yeard. Love graveyard is a graveyard for lovers, Hunty and Munty were a couple."

Me: "A gay couple?"

Kleon : "No Hunty is a girl and Munty is a boy. Hunty may sounds like a boy is name but it is used as a girl's name here."

Me "Hmm ..."

Kleon: " Maybe they were burried where they died.They were the first couple who died in that graveyard. We respect them and remember them because they were a great inspiration for Zikaboo Vampines. They were a couple so we named the place as Love graveyard. We bury dead bodies of Zikaboo Vampires in the graveyard who are lovers."

Me: Hmm .. So, our next target is love graveyard."

Me : "There are currently 3 dead bodies there. Because a Zikaboo Vampie dies after 10,00,000 years."

Kleon brings her wrist-watch close to her mouth to say the answer to it."

Watch: "Answer is processing.. Answer accessed!" Kleon : "Great! I Let's go to Love grave graveyard!"

Oh boy, I am recently scared to see zikaboo Vampire's dead bodies there! Who knows how horrible it is! We make our way to love graveyard following the map. We didn't talk much during the time. 

After some minutes, we reached there. The place is horrified! There are coffin boxes in middle of the graveyard. The 3 boxes are made of the glass and these has been kept upright. 

I can clearly see the dead bodies from outside! But the most horrible thing is a and all of the dead bodies are NAKED !! There are 2 girl's dead bodies and I am ashamed to look at their naked bodies! 

So I immediately take off my eyes from their dead bodies and look away. I swear I won't look there anymore no matter what!

Kleon : "Are you ashamed and afraid to look at their naked bodies?"

Me: "Yes."

Kleon : "All right. Then you stay here and I will search around to find the next hint. Don't get lost when I am gone!"

Me: "Thanks for understanding, I will be a good girl!"

And I? I am staring away at a tree to avoid accidently looking at their naked bodies. Hope Kleon comes soon with the next hint. I can't stay like this for too long! 

I am praying so Kleon comes back soon. But she came back a bit earlier than my expectation. 

I asked her if she got the next clue. Luckily, she got.

Kleon smiles and starts searching everywhere in

Kleon: "Here is it. We got our next target and you also got your freedom!"

Me: "Yeah! No more time wasting! I will never come to the graveyard again!

Kleon : "No, First, We need to solve the poem."

Me: "Do it from few meters away from the graveyard! You will have to bury my dead body here if I stay a bit more here!"

Kleon : " Alright, Allright. As you wish."

I immediately storm off from the greaveyard and run far away from there. Kleon followed me and we are at a big tree now. She shows me the paper.

The poem is–

" What do you want now?
- I want your soul.
Where will you use it?
- To eat in a love bowl."

Honestly if I say the truth, the poem is weird. I mean, the lines doesn't match good. Whatever, we started to try to solve it. Another place, wait for us!

"Will I be able to save Human world and also find true love with 3 different type of ghosts?"

You are a girl who lives with grandmother at a small house. Recently you meet a horrible creature. Soon you and Your grandma need to move to another village. Your life isn’t easy there as you hoped. You find out, the village is a haunted village. It get haunted by different type of ghosts. When researchers find More about the mysterious ghosts. People starts to call them zikaboo vampires. After many situations and by luck, you meet 3 zikaboo vampires : Jaker,Hypto,Sibachu. They say they are finding the person who is dedicated to help them and to be their queen. Soon, the 3 Zikaboos & you find out that, you Are the dedicated person to help and be the queen!! You refuse first, then agree. Then,your adventure starts with the 3 Zikaboo vampires. They falls in love with you from the beginning. Their love for you is just keep growing. Many romantic situations happens between you and them.one day,Their love for you have grown so much that, none of them would hesitant to kill the others to win your heart! Then you need to make a choice! You end up choosing Jaker! 
The novel up with Zaker. I will upload the novel Again with Hypto and Sibachu's Ending so you don’t miss your favourite characher's ending! Some movements will be different for each characters.

Lu Weisheng would never have thought that they would become the starter of the famous Xiong Jingfei's love story. The only evidence they have that she may have existed was through a poem, Xiong Jingfei's love. An incomplete poem, unfortunately. It appears someone may have torn the bottom half or became damaged with time. 
Both of them searched the premises and turned rocks over, but was unable to find the missing piece. In this big piece of land, it could literally be anywhere! 
The wind was picking up its pace and rustling harshly against the leaves. Owls were hooting to let them know it was time to give up and leave. 
Lu Weisheng panted, running out of breath after the brief exercise of turning an abandon palace upside down. He laid down on the freshest patch of dirt he just dug up. He didn't care about getting dirty or the bugs crawling around. He was tired of searching for possibly something that is no longer around. 
"We will never find it!" Lu Weisheng cried, being on the verge of falling asleep due to exhaustion. The cold wind brushed against his wet shirt and brought shivers down his spine. 
"It has to be here!" Yang Zheyan growled, rustling his hair due to frustration. He sat down next to Lu Weisheng, but his eyes still wonder to possible hiding places. 
Lu Weisheng took a glance at him from the corner of his eyes, then up at the stary night sky. He has never seen this Yang Zheyan before, desperate and anxious. The best quality Yang Zheyan has aside from his handsome features and welcoming aura, it was his calm attitude towards everything. Right now, not a trace of calmness was radiating off him. All this for a piece of paper. 
Even though he finds it to be ridiculous that they're still here in the middle of the night. He couldn't help but also take part in looking for it. Maybe it was his curiosity about the ending? Or perhaps it was because what that person said in the vision he saw. 
'In the next life, I will help protect your love in atonement for my family's sin. Let this cut be the witness between us. As long as this cut remains, will it always be a reminder that we are sinners.'
Lu Weisheng traced the scar on his right hand. How can it be the exact same? Did I see something I wasn't supposed to? 
"We're going to need help if you plan to turn this place upside down for a piece of paper." Lu Weisheng sighed. Making up his mind, he patted Yang Zheyan on the shoulders. "I happened to know who to convince to get this job done."
Yang Zheyan turned his head to see the rarely serious Lu Weisheng. It was extremely odd that he was on deck with helping hands. The Lu Weisheng he knows has always been a carefree child. He did whatever he wanted without worries about the consequences. It was truly rare to hear him talk without a joke or sarcasm. 
"I didn't hit your head that hard, right?" Yang Zheyan couldn't help but ask. He was not used to this type of Lu Weisheng. 
"No," Lu Weisheng replied solemnly, gripping tightly onto his right hand. 
Without a doubt anymore, it was the exact same cut that he saw. There were a bunch of questions running through his heads. How was he connected to all this? It seems that the only way to get answers to his questions was to find the last missing piece on that poem. 
Lu Weisheng took one last hard look at Yang Zheyan. What did Yang Zheyan have to do with the vision he just saw? His name was the only reason why he did not pull that screen door away from the start. 
Just like Lu Wiesheng said, he was able to convince that one person to help them. It didn't take long for an organized, professional team to come and search for them. Meanwhile, others were there to learn more about this lost kingdom from any remaining ruins. 
Although they discovered something so great. Yang Zheyan and Lu Weisheng did not escape being scolded by their parents. Lu Weisheng older brother, on the other hand, was praising him. He, of course, became intrigued to hear his mischievous little brother actually found something valuable. He shoved all punishment under the rug and convinced the parents to let it go.
Since the land belonged to both families, the findings should belong to both of them. But, Yang Zheyan promised all he wanted was that missing piece to the poem. Anything else Lu Weisheng's older brother finds, it was his to keep without question asked. Yang Zheyan was not interested in anything else they find. Which he will come to regret it.
After researching the area for months, sadly, the missing half never turned up. They could only come to the conclusion that it was long destroyed. 
"At least we know who was the writer of the poem," Lu Weisheng tried comforting Yang Zheyan, see as they will have no luck in finding it. He was also disappointed. It will just mean he will have unanswered questions for the rest of his life. 
"Xiong Jingfei is not the writer," Yang Zheyan corrected Lu Weisheng's thoughts immediately. "The person who wrote it dedicated it to Xiong Jingfei..."
"And how would you know that?" Lu Weisheng curiously asked. They didn't have any evidence that was the case. Yet, Yang Zheyan made himself sounded so sure that was it.
"A feeling," Yang Zheyan shrugged his shoulders, putting the scroll back into a tightly sealed box. A powerful feeling. 
Tsk, what kind of bizarre facts is that? Was what Lu Weisheng thought but automatically agreed with Yang Zheyan at the same time. His reasoning made more sense than Yang Zheyan due to the titled poem. 
Well, he thought to himself. Everything that has been happening is crazy enough for him. He didn't dare tell anyone what he saw in that room. Who would believe his bizarre story? Also, how he knew there was a box hidden right in that spot.


Do you believe in reincarnation?

"In this lifetime, I was the one who followed you. In the next life, you'll follow me."

Do you believe in having a past life? 

"No matter how many lifetime, I only want to be with you."

Do you believe in karma? 

"A broken, unfulfilled promise..."

*The cover drawing does not belong to me. However, it fits my setting and characters. I would be happy to credit the artist if I know who they are!*

Sui Xin could clearly feel that someone was staring at him from behind, but he didn't feel uncomfortable because there were too many people staring at her.
She suddenly did something she really wanted to do. She took out a piece of paper from her bag and read a love poem to the person next to her.
Entering the door of my lovesickness, knowing how much I miss you, long-term lovesickness, long-term lovesickness, short-term lovesickness, endless lovesickness.
This poem was read by Sui Xin from God knows where. She remembered that she seemed to have seen a book in the library. Originally, she was bored, but after reading this sentence, she suddenly felt very emotional.
After reading the poem, she looked at the boy in front of her eagerly, as if she was asking for praise.
"What do I think of this poem? Do you want to praise me? Do you dare to move? Do you feel shocked by me? "
Looking at her burning eyes, Gu Yinshu couldn't help but laugh.
"This isn't a poem you wrote. Tell me the truth, where did you copy it from? I seem to have heard of it. "
"You can tell? I really copied it from the library. Although I copied it, I also worked hard. Do you know that it was very difficult for me to copy it with a pen? "
Copy?
Difficult!
Gu Yinshu was speechless.
"Don't you think so When I went to the library, I didn't have a bag or a pen. I begged the person next to me to lend me a pen and a piece of paper. I just memorized the poem and thought of Reading it to you one day. I tried so hard, but you still looked indifferent?"
Gu Yinshu:"..."
He smiled and gently raised his hand to touch the girl in front of him.
"I'm very touched. "
When he heard these four words, for some reason, freewill was very happy. Then, his eyes sparkled as he looked at him.
"If you're so touched, in the future, I'll recite a love poem to you every day and let you be touched every day, okay? "
"..."
"Why aren't you saying anything? Is it because you're unhappy? " Freewill saw that he was not saying a word and could not help but tug at his clothes and shake them.
"How am I unhappy? I'm just too touched. Remember what you said just now. In the future, you'll recite a love poem for me every day. If one day you miss it, I'll remind you. "
Freewill's eyes curved into a smile. "I didn't expect you to be so arrogant. You say you don't want it, but your body is very honest. Since I said it, I will definitely agree. "
"If you say it again, I will punish you later. " Gu Yinshu stretched out his hand to tickle her body. Freewill was ticklish, and he laughed until tears came out of his eyes.
"Okay, okay, I won't laugh at you anymore. Stop, I can't take it anymore. "
Gu Yinshu finally stopped. He opened the book and suddenly put it in front of the table. He leaned over and kissed her on the lips.
"Aiya, what are you doing? "
Sui Xin's face instantly turned red. He looked around.
When he realized that no one was staring at them, he closed his eyes in panic and dodged to the side.
"Isn't it very simple? I'm kissing you. "
Gu Yinshu smiled again and continued to sit upright in his seat, as if what had just happened had not happened.
Sui Xin was obviously feeling guilty. His entire face was red, afraid that someone would see through him.

On the day of her escape from prison, she had died unexpectedly and was reborn into the body of Madam Huo.
He was the heir to the number one financial magnate. She had charged out of nowhere and from then on, the obedient and weak Madam Huo had started to awaken. She had been trampled under her feet.
Huo Shao had expressed that since she had already been conquered, wouldn't it be too unfair for her if she did not give her body to him?
The muzzle of the gun was aimed at her head, "I only lost my wife and did not divorce. Choose between loving me or dying for love. "
Gu Ruochu,"..."
Do I still have a choice?

Grand Princess Mansion
The Canton Princess was seated at the dressing table, and was concentrating on drawing her painting.
"Stop playing around Xiao Yun." The Canton Princess eyes were wide open. She knew that the young serving maid Xiao Yun enjoyed teasing her and playing with her. The Canton Princess extended a hand to push her away, without looking up.
The little Canton Princess pushed the person, and yet she didn’t budge. She then spoke irritably, "Aiya, I already guessed that it’s you, and you still wish to bother me. Be careful that I tell my mother about how you’ve been disturbing me, and you shall have to be spanked for that."
The little Canton Princess pushed her away harder this time. When she looked up, she noticed that it was her mother, the Grand Princess.
So her mother had come to tease and play with her. The Canton Princess was taken aback. She hurriedly bowed her head in reverence, "So your Excellency Mother is here!"
"You silly fellow, why would you greet your own mother with so much formalities?" The Grand Princess pressed a finger to her forehead and pushed gently.
"Mother, that hurts." The little Canton Princess pouted and clutched her forehead.
"You little silly, I didn’t even use much strength, why would you feel pain?" The Grand Princess pretended to be angry as she spoke.
"Mother I was only pulling your leg." The Canton Princess tugged on her mother’s arm as she spoke.
The Grand Princess looked at her daughter behaving so endearingly, and could not help but let out a laugh. She then looked over her daughter’s shoulder to see the drawing which she had been so conscientious about. She was drawing a pair of ducks frolicking lovingly in the pond, like a couple. Their necks were entwined lovingly.
When the Grand Princess saw the drawing, she let out a huge sigh, "You ah, you still haven’t managed to forget about him?"
As she spoke, her expression turned to one of sorrow. She had coaxed and advised her own daughter countless times, and yet it seemed like her heart had still been captivated by him.
"No mother, that’s not true. I was just drawing some ducks. You’re reading too much into this matter. Ever since that day he left on the boat, I haven’t thought of him at all. Why do you have to come and counsel me again?" The little Canton Princess brushed her aside.
"You are my flesh and blood. I raised you up myself since you were a tiny thing, do you not think I know you inside out?" The Grand Princess inched closer and grabbed her daughter’s face by the chin and spoke.
"Look at you, you’ve lost so much weight over the past couple of months. Just looking at you makes mother’s heart ache." The Grand Princess gazed into her daughter’s eyes as she spoke.
"Mother, stop teasing me." The Canton Princess was starting to feel upset again and hurriedly said to her mother.
"Recently, I’ve obtained a poem written by him." The Grand Princess retrieved a scroll from her robes. 
"Mother, let me see!" Hearing this piece of information, the Canton Princess’s eyes lit up at once.
 She eagerly reached out a hand and read the poem composed.
When she read the part ‘Suffering brings out tears in the vast sea, that under the moonlight glowed like pearls’, she started choking with tears, as if she was the subject of the poem. Tears started to well up within her eyes.
"All emotions have become memories, what could not will never be, forever gone are the old times."
"Did he write this to his childhood sweetheart? Does he mean he that he wished to break up with her?" The Canton Princess looked up at her mother and asked, her eyes were full of hope and expectation. The poem was describing how a pair of lovers had met their expiration date and could not longer see each other. It also expressed the sorrow of how they felt.
When the Grand Princess looked at her daughter, she spoke out, "I know what you’re feeling deep down, and I know what you’re thinking. But this poem wasn’t written for his lover. It was composed for the aunt of her lover. It’s been rumored that her aunt was an extremely picky person, and so Pei Zi Yun wrote this poem to antagonize her."
"Hm, he’s such a good person, what reason does she have to be picky?" When the Canton Princess heard this, she broke free from her mother’s embrace and stood up. Her expression was somewhat unstable.
"Didn’t you say you’ve forgotten him? Your tongue is loose, and just a little prodding, and you’ve revealed everything." The Grand Princess spoke out, she was frowning. Her own daughter had only met this person a few times, and yet her feelings for him ran deep. How could this ever be something good?
"Mother what happened after that? Tell me." The Canton Princess started pushing her mother’s hips in endearment.
"Soon after, the aunt of his lover permitted them to be together, and stopped picking on him." 
"When the Emperor heard about this matter, he remained speechless for a long time." When the Canton Princess heard this, she burst out in a fit of giggles.
She remained giggling for some time before regaining her composure. Looking into her mother’s eyes, she asked, "Mother, are you here today to tease me? You have never agreed to help me whenever I wanted to find out more about him. Why have you told me this piece of news today? Are you trying to make me stop thinking about him?"
"You’re getting thinner everyday. And my heart is aching for you." The Grand Princess pulled the Canton Princess into her embrace, "He has someone whom he loves, and he has his own life. You have never really made an impression on him. No matter how much you think of him, he wouldn’t ever know of it anyway."
"Mother, stop speaking. You’re making me extremely upset." The Canton Princess started weeping, and couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down her face. It could be because she hasn’t slept properly in a long while, or it could also be that this piece of news brought her a great sense of happiness for him, and yet was a sad piece of news for her. She cried for some time before eventually falling asleep.
Seeing her daughter asleep in her arms, the Grand Princess and the old serving maid gently placed her atop a bed.
"The next few days, I want you to prepare some nourishing and replenishing food for her. And talk to her more, spend more time with her, do you hear me?" The Grand Princess started shouting loudly, her face was extremely fierce as she spoke to the serving maids.
"Yes, your Highness Grand Princess." The serving maids fell to the ground and started trembling after they had responded.
Within the room, the Canton Princess opened her eyes, She then stood up and retrieved the drawing of Pei Zi Yun which she had drawn some days back. She looked at his face, as her eyes welled up with tears. She was not careful, and allowed a teardrop to stain her painting, and blurred the contours of his face. When she saw this, she starting weeping silently.
When the Grand Princess turned around the corner, she was holding a letter, which she handed over to the female official beside her. "Hand this poem over to Count Zhong Qing, let him read it and see what he thinks and says."
"Yes, your Highness Grand Princess." The female official received the poem and turned around towards the Count’s mansion to deliver it.
"Grand Princess, why did you have to bring up the matter once more? The Canton Princess was already heartbroken. To be so upset for so long is extremely bad on her health." The old serving maid who was following the Grand Princess asked.
The Canton Princess had been raised by this old serving maid. Before the Emperor had rebelled to take over the entire dynasty, they had been familiar neighbours. She had a deep attachment toward this family. At this point, seeing how the Canton Princess was often so upset, she was worried and sad too.
When the Grand Princess heard this, a look of pity and helplessness flickered past her eyes. "Temporary pain is better than long term pain. Although it was good for Pei Zi Yun that the Crown Prince wishes to bestow him with a title, this might not necessarily be a good thing for Pei Zi Yun. It seems like this person is doomed. When the day comes and my daughter hears the news, I wouldn’t know how to break it to her. At this point, if I can get her to give up her hopes, it would be better for everyone in the future."
"If Pei Zi Yun ends up surviving this time until the Crown Prince ascends to the throne, he would be greatly rewarded for his work and might receive an official title. Then, they might end up together."
"For better or for worse, she has to get rid of her feelings for him."
"Ai, as for the affairs of the royal household, so what if you know of it? There’s nothing anyone can do about it. Do not speak of this." The Grand Princess sighed before walking off.
"Yes, your Highness Grand Princess, this old subject understands." The old serving maid responded.
Count Zhong Qing’s Mansion
"Is Count Zhong Qing in?" The woman official got off outside the mansion and asked.
"You are?" The gates of the mansion opened and a man stepped out and bowed.
"I am a woman official belonging to the Grand Princess’s mansion. She had ordered me to deliver this here." The woman official showed the tile which was hanging from her waist before handing the letter over. The man hurriedly checked the tile to see if it was authentic before receiving the letter and delivering it in.
Within the Count’s mansion, the faint sound of someone playing the flute could be heard. This person seemed to know of the Count’s exact location. He hurriedly ran past the garden and through the spiralled corridors. When he looked across, he saw a water pavilion which had white marble tiles on it. Under the huge willow tree was a stone table and bench.
"Master Count, a woman official from the Grand Princess’s mansion delivered this letter." The man stepped forward and handed the letter over.
The Count who was feeding the goldfishes in the pond looked up, his eyebrows were raised. He then asked curiously, "Isn’t the Grand Princess doing fine, why has she sent a letter?"
Count Zhong Qin received the letter and read it once.
"Coincidentally, this zither has fifty strings, each string, each fret reminds me of a year that has gone by."
He then read the entire poem once more. Count Zhong Qin whose eyebrows were raised seem to be critiquing the poem. When he finished the poem, he read the words written enclosed on top, which said that this poem had been written by Pei Zi Yun. He had composed this after the Sect Leader of True Element Sect caused him so problems. When finished writing, he sighed, "Each string each fret reminds me of a year that had gone by. There hasn’t been a single day which I don’t think of what happened between us. Indeed, I’ve let Su Yue down."
These words were strange and caused the man to be confused.
"Master? Did the Grand Princess write something important? You seem somewhat troubled?" The butler asked after seeing his master react so strangely to this matter.
"It’s nothing much. Just that the Grand Princess sent this poem over, and caused me some grief after reading this." Count Zhong Qin answered after hearing the question.
"Master Count, who wrote the poem? Just listening to you read it out made me realize how impressive it was. Won’t master Count give it some critique?" The butler tried to make some small talk.
"There’s no need." Count Zhong Qin replied this way, his tone was final and clear. When the butler heard this, he still felt strange about the whole matter. On a normal day his master Count enjoyed reading poems. Of late, a scholar named Pei Zi Yun had been composing fantastic poems, which his master had been collecting and reading. Why had he reacted this way after reading the poem?
The butler stood at his side, somewhat worried, and yet didn’t dare to ask further.
'King Lu is enraged. He had sent a special group of highly trained soldiers after him. This man is a dead man walking. There’s no need to critique his poem. Although I wonder what’s the intention of the Grand Princess for sending this poem to me?' Count Zhong Qin thought to himself.
'Could it be as simple as to make fun as me?'
'Hang on, unless the Grand Princess still harbours a glimmer of hope? Could it be that she feels Pei Zi Yun stands a chance against King Lu, and is able to hold out and survive until the Crown Prince ascends to his throne?'
Count Zhong Qin had a sudden inspiration, as thoughts came into his head. He then burst out in laughter. He was a Count of the country and thus knew a great deal about military and war affairs. Under such a circumstance, when King Lu has sent out an order to kill Pei Zi Yun, nobody would stand in his way. Not the Emperor, not the Crown Prince, not the Grand Princess. Truly nobody would stop him. It didn’t matter if Pei Zi Yun’s poems had reached such a high reputation.
Pei Zi Yun’s only hope would be to avoid being killed in this chaos, and wait for the Crown Prince to ascend to his throne. Only then would the Crown Prince reward him handsomely and hand him an official title. When that happens, she could then allow her daughter to marry him. It was somewhat strange?
No, this is what politics was all about.
'The Grand Princess is after all a woman, and she still harbors a glimmer of hope for her daughter. She is soft-hearted when it comes to her daughter.'
'However if Pei Zi Yun truly does survive, what will my own recommendation matter? He would still obtain favors from the Grand Princess, the Crown Prince, the Royal Concubine, and even the Emperor’s grandson.'
'If that’s the case, you should struggle and do your best to survive!'
As Count Zhong Qin remained deep in thought, he tossed the letter into the pond. The goldfishes in the pond assumed that it was some food and all gathered around, tearing pieces of the paper. Soon after, the entire piece sank deep into the pond.

Earth Immortals are cultivated from a blessed land,
Heaven Immortals move to and fro from the divine mountains.
I have a stalk of plum blossom, and I shall maraud the Will of the Heavens with it!

The activities began.
Due to the station head being present here today, many of the other station leaders came down to the event hall as well. The staff who were in charge of the venue were also being more cautious in their work, as they announced in high spirits,"Good afternoon leaders, colleagues, and everyone else. With the bountiful year coming to an end, Central TV is commencing this year's staff calligraphy competition. This event will see very generous prizes be given out, with a laptop for the first prize, a cell phone for the second prize, and 500 yuan worth of call credits for the third prize. Could we please have the contestants come forward to the tables in front to write your calligraphy pieces?"
Nobody moved.
Everyone hesitantly looked at each other, before finally looking at the station head.
"Station Head, why don't you kick off the competition?"
"Yes, Station Head, please do so."
"If only I knew that you'd be taking part, then I wouldn't have joined the competition myself. My writing can't compare to yours, Station Head, so it would be better if I don't embarrass myself."
Hearing that, the station head politely laughed and said,"You all go ahead instead."
Central TV Department 2's director laughed."If you don't start off writing first, I don't think any of us would dare to do so before you."
Seeing that there was really no one who went forward, the station head could only state with a smile,"Alright then, please bear with my pending performance. I will initiate the competition, but the rest will have to depend on all of you." Saying so, the station head walked up to the nearest desk in front of him, then attentively picked up a hand towel to wipe his hands before taking the brush. He dipped the brush into the inkstone full of ink, and then with a look of concentration, put the brush onto the Xuan paper.
With several lively and vigorous strokes!
He had written out a piece in cursive script!
A lot of people were already praising it.
"Good!"
"It's great!"
"Good writing, very good writing!"
"Our station head is truly highly skilled!"
Everyone in the station knew that the station head's calligraphy writing was quite good. There was even a calligraphy scroll written by him that was hanging in the premises of Central TV Tower. Since they knew that the station head had a liking for cursive script, they were not exactly surprised, and instead used this chance to suck up to him.
Seeing this, Zhang Ye felt a little curious. He knew that cursive scripts were the hardest to write. If one was not highly skilled in calligraphy, they probably couldn't write a good line of cursive script. That was why when he walked closer to have a look, he was slightly taken aback by what he saw. He did not say anything and just silently turned back around.
Ha Qiqi looked at him."What's the matter, Director Zhang?"
"It's nothing," Zhang Ye replied quietly.
That cursive script was really not that presentable. It was not bad looking, but it was absolutely not considered good looking either. However, thinking about it, the station head was just a hobbyist after all, so being able to pen it this way was already pretty good. He definitely should not be compared against the likes of a professional calligrapher.
He finished writing.
It was a very simple phrase: Tranquility yields transcendence.
Everyone applauded!
The station head put down the brush and smiled as he waved it off."I've regressed."
Jiang Yuan smiled and said,"If you call that a regression, then other people's calligraphy won't even be worth looking at."
Xu Yipeng brazenly stated,"Station Head, dare I ask on behalf of our Rise to the Dance program team if you would so generous as to bestow upon us this calligraphy piece of yours? Might we deserve that honor?"
The supervisor of Central TV Department 3 interjected,"Station Head, please bestow it upon us instead!"
"Station Head!"
A lot of people were asking for the piece.
The station head chuckled and then had a look at them, but still pointed to Xu Yipeng in the end."Since Little Xu asked first, I will give it to him."
The others could only watch with regret.
Meanwhile, Xu Yipeng, Chen Ye, and a few others were beaming with joy."Thank you, Station Head." Then they turned around and instructed one of the staff members,"Frame it up properly when we get back so that we can hang it up in the office space!"
This act of gifting by the station head had left Yan Tianfei and the people of Department 14 with a peculiar expression.
Whoever asked first would get it? Even if this was a valid reason, was there also a possibility that this was expressing another meaning? But whatever it was, everyone present at the venue could see the station's and station head's supportive attitude of Xu Yipeng, Chen Ye, and the entire Rise to the Dance program team. This support was so great that even a blind man could "see" it.
Unable to help himself, Jiang Yuan peeked at Yan Tianfei.
Quite a number of people were also observing Zhang Ye's reaction.
However, Zhang Ye just showed an indifferent expression and did not seem like he was affected by that action at all.
People were still gradually arriving at the event hall, and at this moment, Central TV Department 11's Director Chen Huo and a deputy director arrived. The moment they saw Zhang Ye near the entrance, they looked sullen. To clarify, they were the earliest group of people from Central TV who had come into contact with Zhang Ye. Back then, during the crosstalk and skit competition, Zhang Ye was one of the competitors who joined. As a result, the competition met with all kinds of incidents and even got foiled by the duo of Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai. Importantly, the station head of Central TV was a party member within the SARFT's organization. This was a position only afforded to Central TV's station head and also the reason why Central TV had a special status within the industry. But even so, the crosstalk and skit competition was still forcefully ordered to be canceled, so you can imagine just how much trouble was stirred up back then. And that was the reason why Chen Huo and his deputy director did not have any good impression of Zhang Ye.
In the entire Central TV organization, there were just too many people who disliked Zhang Ye!
"Who's next?"
"Let's do it together?"
"Then let's all go up and write our own individual pieces?"
"Hur hur, let's not be polite and just write!"
There were a total of three desks. Everyone slowly gathered around them and humbly insisted for the other contestants to go ahead first. At times, someone would go on up and write their piece, with those observers around praising them when they finished. Then the next person would do the same.
Yan Tianfei also went up to the table and wrote a single word: Bravery! Yan Tianfei had used the regular script in his piece, writing a very large character that took up a foot of the Xuan paper. His calligraphy writing was just like him, with rigid and sharp strokes at the edges and corners, which was also quite a unique style.
Jiang Yuan also went up to write. He wrote in a style that was seemingly a regular script yet also looked like a semi-cursive script. A few strokes were even done in the style of a cursive script, making it look neither here nor there. The standard was very low, but Xu Yipeng, Chen Ye, and many others were still praising and flattering his writing for a long time. But to Zhang Ye, it was simply too ridiculous. A layman might not be able to see it, but how could Zhang Ye not be able to differentiate between good or bad?
Urged on by her boyfriend's encouragement, Department 14's Huang Dandan also went forward to try. Huang Dandan's writing was surprisingly quite good as she wrote a seven character poem by one of the great ancient poets of this world. Her words were very delicate and softly beautiful, which made Zhang Ye's eyes light up when he saw it. [1.]
Zhang Zuo looked at Tong Fu and said,"Your girlfriend's calligraphy writing is that good?"
Tong Fu coughed violently."What girlfriend? We're just friends, just friends."
Actually, everyone already knew that they were a couple, but perhaps because office relationships were still quite frowned upon, they rarely admitted to it.
Gradually, most of the contestants finished penning their pieces.
"Director Xu."
"Why don't you give it a try too?"
"Yeah, teach us a little!"
The Rise to the Dance program team were making a commotion over there. With the imminent announcement of the viewership ratings, they were all feeling full of confidence right now. In a good mood, they had a lot more to say. Besides, in the entirety of Central TV, only their program team had the highest viewership ratings, the highest investment amount, and carried the most expectations from the leaders, so they could afford to act so proudly. Any other program teams without good viewership ratings would never dare to be so showy in public like they were.
Xu Yipeng laughed."Then allow me to embarrass myself!"
He went forward.
Picked up the brush.
And started writing.
With a flourish of the brush, the piece that he was writing turned out to be "Spring in Qin Garden: Plum."
Spring in Qin Garden was not about a garden named Qin during springtime, but a ci tune similar to that of a song. From the ancient times, it was one of the fixed-tone tunes anyone could fill in with the appropriate words. Spring in Qin Garden already existed in this world prior and was also referred to as a ci tune. The poem Shuidiao Getou, which Zhang Ye had written during the Mid-Autumn Festival Poetry Meet, was also based on this tune and this established history did not differ much from his previous world.
Of course, the poem that Xu Yipeng wrote was not his original composition, and neither was he capable of doing so. This "Spring in Qin Garden: Plum" was written by an ancient poet of this world who wasn't too well known. As such, not a lot of people had came across it before. Unlike Zhang Ye's previous world, there were not too famous works based on Spring in Qin Garden in this world. Among all the ci tunes passed down from ancient times, Spring in Qin Garden was considered to be one of the least known ones. There were hardly any good works using this tune, and if one did not research on this topic professionally, they might not even know that a ci tune like Spring in Qin Garden existed."Spring in Qin Garden: Plum" might even possibly be one of the more well-known ones, as there was a historical story that mentioned it. [2.]
Xu Yipeng moved his brush around suavely as he wrote out the poem.
Everyone applauded incessantly!
"Nicely written!"
"Director Xu's calligraphy is really good!"
"What a great 'Spring in Qin Garden: Plum'!"
The poem was very lengthy and Xu Yipeng was fully focused on writing for a long time. Perhaps because of the presence of so many leaders, or because of the station head gifting his writing to him, Xu Yipeng was more roused. He wished to perform to his best and was so engrossed that beads of sweat started forming on his temples—which of course also had to do with the fact that the event hall's internal heating was too strong.
"Good writing, the poem is very good too!"
"I know this poem. Even though it's not very well-known, I still especially like it. If the original poet were more famous, this poem would definitely be much more well-known!"
"I like it too!"
"This is the first time I've come across this poem. It's great!"
"How can it not be good. Every time a staff calligraphy competition is held, as long as Director Xu participates, he will surely place within the top three!"
He finished writing.
Xu Yipeng said to everyone,"Please excuse my poor writing."
Everyone started clapping.
Even Huang Dandan subconsciously followed them and clapped along. Although she felt that her own writing was quite good, but when compared with Xu Yipeng, she knew that she was still lagging behind by a large margin, especially since the poem he chose was also very good. However, when she remembered that he was her competitor, Huang Dandan immediately put down her hands and stopped clapping.
Zhang Ye was also quite shocked and was very surprised that Xu Yipeng could write so well. He might not have seen everyone's writing, but of those that he did, Xu Yipeng's calligraphy piece probably stood out the most.
The station head walked over and admired the calligraphy piece for a long time. Then, he nodded and declared,"Good calligraphy!"
Xu Yipeng said humbly,"It can't compare to yours."
The station head shook his head and laughed."It's much better than mine. I saw your calligraphy a few years ago. Your calligraphy is probably considered one of the best among the amateur calligraphy hobbyists!"
Jiang Yuan added,"It's even comparable to that of a professional's!"
Was there a hidden meaning to that?
A professional?
Some people looked at Zhang Ye.
Ha Qiqi was a little hesitant, but she asked Zhang Ye quietly,"Director Zhang, Xu Yipeng's calligraphy looks rather good. Are you…" She did not know how to appreciate calligraphy nor claimed to understand it much.
Zhang Zuo, Tong Fu, and the others also did not know what would be considered good or bad, but when they heard the station head saying that he admired Xu Yipeng's writing, they also lost some of their confidence.
When Zhang Ye heard that, he chuckled."It is indeed quite good."
Little Wang responded,"Then what about your calligraphy? How does it compare to his?"
Compared to his?
Compared to Xu Yipeng's?
Zhang Ye did not say anything. He really did not know how he would answer that question, because if he did, it would make him feel like he was degrading himself!


Zhang Ye was originally a mundane college graduate with aspiring dreams to become a star, but unfortunately has below average looks and height. However one day, he woke up and suddenly found himself in a parallel world! 
It’s like the same world, but wait a minute…many brands, celebrities and even famous works from his world changed and are gone in this new world! Armed with the profound literary knowledge of his previous world and a heaven-defying Game Ring that gives him magical items, stats and skills, Zhang Ye embarks on a journey to pursue his life-long dream of becoming famous!
Follow Zhang Ye as he takes the new world by storm, one plagiarized piece at a time, to hilarious reactions!

III. Maya's Favor for Secrecy 

In weekdays inside the house, it felt like I have all the time in the world during 8 o'clock until 12. But of course, it was an exaggeration; for me, it just felt like it. In abstract sense, time feels forever — like an extended period beyond numbers — whenever I find myself alone in our abode. Hypothetically, I believe I could commit serious crimes (be it robbery, identify theft, or murder), without bothering to worry about anyone sniffing my back. That is, in specificity, what I meant by having all the time in world. Since during those hours, exactly four, I was all by myself with my wandering thoughts— thinking of the things I could do, but would never really do. 

Yesterday was Thursday, so the day today remained a weekday. Friday. 

Considering my age, in addition of my three-year old retirement, personally I didn't have to worry much about commitments. My obligations had short-lengthened; the people I often communicated with before had decreased into almost zero, and for this reason I got plenty of time pondering the past, my old memories. I was at the point where, dutifully and financially speaking, I could slack off and I wouldn't miss a thing. Retired. 

Why was I alone? Why, of course it was a weekday, and during weekday mornings I usually am. Simply because, first of all, my wife and daughter themselves had tasks to do in the community. Unlike me, who kind of let go of most obligations already involving jobs, clients, strangers and acquaintances, my family had a pattern to follow. 

Kiki, as an elementary student, had to attend school. My daughter was at the point of her life where she explores the elements found and seen on the social aspect. She had to meet new people her age. Know them. Befriend them even, and make memories with them that'd be reminisced in the future. At school, academically, Kiki had been told by her mother to participate in class recitations; to answer correctly the questions on quizzes, on exams; to take down notes the chalk-written words from the blackboard; and later — after everything — to meet me in the school's gateway so I could pick her up, and return her home. 

On the other hand, my wife, Annalise, as an architect under a well-known firm, had to take bus and jeepney and tricycle towards her job. Comparing to Kiki, Annalise was at the point of her life where she already realized the functions of the social— how to ethically act around people; how to be reasonable with them alike. Perhaps because of her busyness at most times, I think she was trying to figure out where she belonged To generativity, or to stagnation? Serving as Senior Architect, it's given she had to communicate with her co-workers, her boss, her inferiors, and their clients altogether. In spite of all the effort, of the labor she puts in for the quality of the firm, afterwork she'd commute back home with a take-out meal for us to consume. Meaning, at the end of the day we remained a family — always a complete one — eating at the dining table together, with our morning and afternoon stories. 

So far, those were our daily routines. As a family of three. 

I, however, had the most alone time among the three. Unlike years ago when I was still an employee, a manager, what I do now every morning don't actually stay the same. I could be watching the television for four hours straight on Mondays, and take an unbent shower on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, sometimes I'd just watch shows until it's time to pick my daughter from school at 12:30 o'clock. Other times, I'd read whatever books or magazines I could find in the bookshelf. And other, other times I'd feel so creative I could write something personal, or something mind-blowing on a piece of paper. 

For instance, this Friday I wrote an indigenous type of Filipino poem called tanaga. I began working on it at 9:30 in the morning, and later finished the piece by 11 PM. No need to mention it took me longer to finish than expected. 

As a matter of fact, at first I couldn't think of anything to write about. I knew I had to write, I just didn't know what subject should I emphasize. My mind was blank. Worse than blank and empty, my mind was in decline. Despite the fact that I was on my favorite spot — sitting on the moving chair, on the balcony — I couldn't write. For half an hour I felt wordless and incapable of writing a single passage with meaning. It was that hard and bleeding. Perhaps, if I'd exclude the sun's heat haze, the beauty of nature in front of me might be the main cause of this distraction: the numerous moving clouds, the little waves crashing on the far seashore's edges, and the lenient wind passing by my face. All distracting, but at the same time calming. 

It was hard to write. 

Even so, at 11 o'clock, here went my piece of tanaga: 



Liwanag
'Sang ilaw na kay hirap
Limutin't usisain—
Sa aking bawat padyak,
Siya ang tanging mithiin.



Once finished I read it over, and over again. Though I myself admitted that I'm not a good poet, I believe this poem is something value-embedded. True enough, sometimes I'd just scribble words on a notebook or any paper I could find laying here. I could write thousands of words, fill hundreds of pages, create tens of short stories, and still disregard myself as a good writer. In practice, I'm not as witty as William Shakespeare; especially, not as psychologically in-depth as Fyodor Dostoevsky. Moreover, I'm not a great poet as Robert Frost who wrote one of my favorite poems, The Road Not Taken. But nevertheless, whether a writer considers himself outstanding or awfully inferior, as a whole, personally, writing is one of the best ways to open up your heart and keep the time passing. 

Today, somehow, I found my short piece of poem in between downcast and euphoric. 

To anyone, perhaps to most people, who would gain a chance to read my poem, they might see this piece of tanaga as average. Nothing but a standard Filipino poem following a certain requirement: seven syllabic rhymes, all packed in four lines, and nothing new to it. 

But be that as it may, whatever people would think of this can't change the fact of how it affected my sentiment and sensibility. That as I read it again, and again, to me it seemed like I found something accidental yet worth the search in the abyss of my existence— something hiding deeply inside me, buried dozens of meters deep in the ground. Almost forgotten. 

By then it came to surface, of which this poem I wrote is bag and baggage about a certain friend. My old, lady friend whom I had been thinking about, in truth, for a couple of weeks straight at present. Been kind of a long time since I told my daughter the Midnight Carnival story; been weeks since I promised to buy her a new video game cartridge, that one afternoon, in exchange for her ears and attention. 

Ever since that day, Maya never left my thoughts for a moment long-interval. In my everyday life, in my aloneness, she stood appearing as a spirit walking in the depths of my longing. She remained here within the hardness of my skull, that even in dreams I sometimes I see her and re-experience a bygone time. Probably, twice in a single week. 

All in all. 

Notwithstanding, tomorrow I'd finally fulfill my promise to my daughter. And it took long, I know, only well because after a month or two, the three of us agreed again to go to the supermall, as a family. Wherein fact I seemed not to recall our last hangout there, so there lingered a feeling in ourselves that we had to create new memories. Thankfully, yesterday night we decided to plan eating at my wife's favorite restaurant once more. To walk, to shop, and to hangout in the supermall— ultimately, to buy Kiki a new cartridge in the Game Station. 

Tomorrow, only even for a little while, we'd have the time to run away from our daily lives. Saturday. Just the three of us. 

Returning to the present, as I waited for the clock to hit 12 PM, I spent my remaining half-an-hour by looking at the heavenly sceneries ahead. I watched the clouds, the little waves, the flocks of birds soaring through air. I watched everything I could see. 

However, I noticed the view from the moving chair didn't give me enough contentment. I felt the need for more. And so, to satisfy myself, I had to make my sight of the landscape even wider. I stood from the chair where I usually sat — leaving the notebook containing my piece of poem there — and stepped forward to the balcony's line of edge. I decided to place my elbows on the wooden material, the linear barrier. I raised my chin, I placed vision a little higher, as both of my eyes focused on what the nature could offer. Of what it could present to me as for the moment. 

———

It is what it is.
Literary. Magic Realism.

This is a critique of someone else's writing from my class. It starts with all of the poems, which are quite beautiful and emotional. It is clearly indicated where my critique starts. I hope you enjoy this as I certainly did.

lonely love.

you seemed so sweet, so innocent and pure.
you seemed to be the guy i was longing for.
the world saw us as friends, nothing more.
but to my broken heart, you were the only cure.

letters that contained our love for each other,
were thrown away, as if you were never my lover.
words meant for me, became meant for another.
we did things that i wouldn't even tell my mother.

kisses all over my neck and chest,
punches and slaps coming right and left.
never a night of peaceful rest,
yet i convinced myself it was for the best.

when you asked, i gave you ever piece of me.
even when you didn't, i'd just let it be.
there was never a moment where i felt free.
but i loved you so much, i just couldn't see.

then the night came where you decided to leave..
why did you have to leave so abruptly?
you told me it was never going to work out between us.
this is all my fault. it's all my fault…


up to you.

i feel like im always complaining..
and that bad things are usually my fault.
this feeling is burning through me,
raining fire, brimstone, and salt.

my heart is tearing me apart
from all the confusion and sadness.
but to them my heart is just a heart
to fill with all of their madness.

maybe i am too nice,
and maybe i can't say no.
but i guess i chose this life,
i mean, where else can i go?


you're delusional

you had me at hello,
and there was no turning back.
a smile, with such a glow,
i thought it was what i had lacked.

you told me to lighten up,
and maybe laugh a bit.
so i blindly remained stuck,
listening to all of your instructions.

what you wanted me to do,
was seen as terribly wrong.
but i thought i trusted you,
so i silently played along.

the smiling guy i had once knew,
was for sure far gone.
i would no longer dance,
to your twisted, sick song.

every single day,
i was under your control.
but i break free to say,
you're absolutely delusional.


spirit of fear.

clouded mind,
under the sheets.
tears falling down,
as night reaches its peak.

in public, in pain.
or alone in the rain.
my hurt takes a form,
that some call "insane".

i try to conceal
the things that i feel.
by smiling and laughing
i hope i will heal.

but my mind is so blank,
even when i write songs.
where do crazy people,
like me, belong?

i would run away,
but i'm broke and alone.
and this is the only place
i've ever called home.

i'm only okay when i'm by myself,
not caring for my body, my brain, or my health.
knowing i'm nothing, and help no one around,
as much as i scream, no one will hear a sound.


adrift.

i'm no longer in touch with reality.
my mind is adrift, but some would say free.
i'm starting to forget everyone's faces,
eyes and lips have become blank spaces.

i don't know anything or anyone.
and sitting in the dark, alone, becomes fun.
ignorance doesn't bother me anymore,
my mind is cold, and so is my core.

i walk all alone, with my head down low.
still smiling, even though i have no one to show,
still laughing, even though no one's told a joke,
and crying, because my mind is as cloudy as smoke.


honestly?

letting people walk all over me,
and use me to their will.
ill say "no" and "please stop",
but through it all, i'm unheard still.

no one wants to hear me talk
about the good, the bad, and the sad.
they cover their ears, and shut their eyes,
and forget about the pain i've had.

but that's okay, smiles on my face,
oh man, she can really act.
but the scars on my wrists,
and the tears in my eyes,
prove my story as a fact.


so greedy.

i felt like a pretty girl today,
just for a moment though.
thinking someone could actually like me,
there may be more to me than i know.

when compliments come, i reject them,
and shy myself away.
but compliment, after compliment,
the more i hear, i want to stay.

these kind words get to my head,
so when i don't hear them i feel ugly.
i allowed myself to believe such pretty lies,
how could i think anyone could ever love me?


trust.

i've made this mistake way too many times.
i've lost everything that i once called "mine."
my friendships, my boyfriends, my reasons to care.
my happiness has gone completely elsewhere.

my confiding in people has been covered by lies,
but no one would know because i've silenced my cries.
"just hold it in, you're almost to you room".
soon to let my thoughts consume me like fiery fumes.

if i say the rights things, and word it just the right way,
people will think that i'm better. that i'm really okay.
but i'm slowly getting worse, wearing a permanent mask.
and if i ever feel fine, it doesn't last.

It hurts to pretend, yet i do it so much.
I smile and i wink, adding a personal touch.
But as the saying goes, eyes are the window to the soul.
And my eyes show that my heart has a gaping, black hole.

-Start of my critique-

Dear S*******,

Overall, your writing does an amazing job at conveying emotions to the reader. As someone who has gone through similar pains and struggles in the past, I personally felt touched by this. I commend your bravery in putting this type of thing out there for others to see. Bravo. I will now break my evaluations down by poem. One thing, please excuse the improper use of pronouns if it does apply. I did not remember what you specified and I mean no offense by it.

The first poem you wrote was Lonely Love. When I read it, it was as if I could feel the pain that who I presumed was your ex caused you. I also had an ex-boyfriend who was quite neglectful. He never physically abused me but the mental is also bad. The line that really spoke to me was "But I loved you so much, I just couldn't see." Being blinded by love and other strong emotions can really cripple us. I once wrote a piece about fear and it conveys a similar message about being blinded by it. The last thing I have to say regarding this poem was the concluding stanza. The chaos and heartbreak in those four lines really expressed the confusion and pain that people feel when they are abruptly cut off from the one they thought they loved. One thing I believe could have contributed to improving this poem is adding a perspective of how he would approach you. Being able to have the reader see the experience of how he would greet you to add to the facade that blinded you would make for a much more comprehensive visual. However, this was a splendid work nonetheless.

The second poem was Up to You. It was difficult for me to determine what the actual theme or message was in this poem but I feel that I related to it in my own way. Through my depression and ADHD, I have always complained and blamed things that were out of my control. Then on top of that, I had always been a sort of therapist figure for my friends, even though I was too blind to solve my own issues. The part that piqued my interest was the concluding stanza. It really expressed the feeling that you are great for other people to lean on but can't even lean on yourself. 

The next poem was You're Delusional. I believe a better name for this poem would have been Sociopath. This term fits the theme much better. The description of the manipulation was masterful and abstract. Sociopaths are those who manipulate others for their own gains without care for other people's well being.

The proceeding poem was Spirit of Fear. I hadn't noticed it previously but I like how you switched up the flow in the poems in terms of rhyming. It made each poem read differently. As I read through this poem in particular, I was able to imagine the sound of torrential rain outside my window. I felt the chills and coldness of loneliness and despair. The facade that conceals your emotions also contributed to the feeling. It almost made me feel as if you were holding an umbrella during a storm while already soaking wet.

The next poem was called Adrift. I read this poem as if the person in question was a desensitized and lost soul, adrift in the void of solitude. The facial features of others dissolving from your memory really pushed forward that idea of being lost and not knowing how to get back on your path. It was a very interesting way to put it.

The next poem was named Honestly? I wasn't entirely sure how to read this poem but I decided that it made the most sense coming from a survivor of sexual violence. Whether it be ****, sexual assault, sexual harassment, physical abuse, any of those could be the source of this despair. Victims often don't get the support they need. Many people don't even understand sexual assault in the first place. I was in that position a long time ago. My first sexual experience was me being assaulted and I didn't even know until years later. The line, "Oh man, she can really act," really struck a chord with me. It would seem that putting up a facade is a common theme in your poems and it really provides a window into the pain behind that forced smile. I believe this poem would have been a bit better if the angle that you were coming from when writing this was a bit more clear as I am still unsure as to whether I read it correctly or not.'

The next poem was So Greedy. This poem really hit upon human nature and how it has developed in current times. Today, people crave the approval of others, constantly posting, showing off, and seeking that attention. Even negative attention can often fill that void to make people feel good about themselves. The last line, "How could I think anyone could ever love me?" was an interesting way of lifting the facade to expose the reality that hosts the delusions.

The last poem was Trust. This is a common sentiment that a lot of people who have been hurt by others have. Being unable to trust people yields anxiety and depression. I have felt this way many times. I have become cold and heartless in my pursuit of love, only opening up when I feel that someone is worthy. Unfortunately, even those that are worthy will often rip your heart out and leave an even bigger void than before. A line in the song Without You by The Kid Laroi really sums this up for me. "You ripped out a piece of me and now I bleed internally left here without you…" My one critique for this poem is that there could have been some better verbiage used in specific spots. One example I will give is the line, "My friendships, my boyfriends, my reasons to care." This line could have been ten times better if you used the word "lovers" rather than "boyfriends." This would accomplish a few things. First, it would improve the flow of the line, making it read and sound better. Secondly, it would make it so that anyone could relate to it rather than being turned off by the fact that it is from the perspective of a heartbroken girl. Lastly, having the word "friend" be said twice in the same line just doesn't read that well. The message came across just fine but "lover" would have sounded better. Overall, I really liked the poem and this one spoke to me personally just like the first one.

You did a great job on these poems. The overall critique I would have is to work on your verbiage in some places. Other words would fit better in those places to just read back your stuff and make sure that everything sounds good when you read it aloud. I do sincerely hope I get another chance to read some of your work.

-Alec Newman

This is just a collection of some random stuff I write. There is no rhyme or reason to them so don't expect them to be related to each other. Each chapter will be a different piece. Some might be long, some might just be a few lines. It is just a place for me to be able to look back at the stuff I play around with in terms of writing and I thought I'd let others access that place.

Remember summer?
The summer of year 2018?
I was tired… bored.
But what overcame me was…
That haiku poem I wrote

It's that very thing
That I don't regret sharing
That "Poison" poem
I don't regret sharing it
With my eighth grade teacher, right?

I remember how it began and ended
Though I still have it with me
On this year, 2020…
I would like to think back two years ago
July of 2018 when I first wrote
"Poison" the haiku poem
Without taking
A single
Glance
Of that it now…

Dear now and future
I wish to remember these
Lines it began with

"I hate how it reeks
of its death metalic smell
Yes, it's called 'Poison'"

It's the very first stanza
That may have shook my ELA teacher
And a social worker
He shared it with in the winter
Of early 2019

That haiku poem
Made up of eighteen stanzas
Became powerful… 
What went through my mind as I
Wrote this with no intentions?

After reading it
All I remember are these:
Deep rain and dark grave

I thank the past me
For sharing that dark poem.
I feel so evil… 
Yet my heart is in Eu. Pho.
Ri. A. Yes, euphoria.

I'll never forget
That sudden pounce of courage
But that fear I felt
When I was suddenly called
To see the social worker

That quiet and peaceful engine in my brain
Became a sudden ruckus of confusion
And panic of fear
It felt like all I could hear from those millions
Of tiny working cells scream out,
"W-what is happening?!"
And all that emergency alarming, beeping
And wee-wooing like a broken siren
All for the sake of this one thought… 
"What have I done for the social worker to seek me?"

"I hate how it reeks
of its death metallic smell
Yes, it's called 'Poison'"
It was this very poem
This dark and sad haiku one

Remember winter?
In mid-winter, one poem
Became my treasure
I thank myself for this piece
Written perfect on a whim

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