The Naboo Plasma War : Episode II

I wish I could say I had some grand plan in mind when the invasion of Naboo had occurred. Something that would let me solve the problem and completely derail old Palpy's plans in one fell swoop. Unfortunately, that's not how anything works at all.

As it happened, in the eldritch abomination that was the Republic Law, Gunray's blockade was in fact quite legal, categorized as a low scale dispute between two members of the Republic. As long as we upheld ourselves to a certain standard, even a full scale war would be permitted, so long as we didn't involve anyone else. The Republic was intended to protect members against threats to the Galaxy as a whole, and enforce a code of law. Two members coming to blows had been seen as inevitable at the founding of the Republic, and attempting to prevent it would have merely put a lid on tensions until it exploded out of control. Technically speaking, Naboo was breaking the law by attempting to have the Senate intervene without the Trade Federation's agreement. They weren't allowed to ask for Republic intervention unless we landed troops, and even then, the Republic was not obligated to intervene unless there was evidence of war crimes.

Not that the idiots in the Senate cared.

All in all, I was firmly stuck enforcing the blockade until at least the Jedi stuck their noses into the whole affair.

Imagine my surprise then when I personally was hailed by the Naboo.

"Why, Queen Amidala! While not unwelcome, this is quite the surprise... were you intending to contact me? I can redirect you to the Viceroy, if you like."

As much as I knew better, I was still pleading she had simply dialed the wrong number, so to speak. No such luck.

"Captain Montoo. I have heard about you. What is the man who ended the millennia long feud between the Trandoshans and the Wookies practically overnight doing here? I would have thought such a famed diplomat would have nothing to do with something like this."

Fuck. I schooled my face into a mask of regret, mostly to hide the slight annoyance I had. Padme Amidala was... naive, in my opinion. The Nubians as a whole were to be honest, she just happened to be the most well known of them. An entire government based on pacifism. Talking to them always somehow found a way to annoy me.

"While such an escalation in what should have been a simple trade negotiation is regrettable, ultimately, I was granted a lawful order by the Viceroy of the Trade Federation." I said, hoping that the damn teenager the Naboo put in charge of their planet had some subtlety.

"How can such a violation of my people's sovereignty be lawful? We are a member of the Republic, they cannot simply standby and watch as my people suffer under this unprovoked attack!"

I resisted the urge to sigh, and instead replied, "I am not going to be drawn into an argument with you over whether or I will follow my orders. I do not know who is giving you legal advice, Queen Amidala, but I suggest you fire them. So long as the Viceroy is the lawful leader of the Trade Federation, I will follow his command. If you are going to insist this blockade is illegal, I suggest you find some proof, Queen Amidala. I am loyal to the Trade Federation, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right."

She merely glared at me, and I cut the connection, refusing to continue the charade. I'd given her all I could. If she was too dense to follow through, it was on her.