Nerves

Everything faded away as I sat up in my bed, my skin slick with sweat. Looking around myself, I noticed it was ten after three in the morning. That Thursday night after talking with 'The_Shining_One'. I turned on the light and looked around again, just to be sure it was really my apartment. I looked over to where my laptop sat on the desk. It was closed, looking perpetually untouched.

"What kind of nightmare was that?" I asked, wiping the sweat from my face with my fingers. "I feel exhausted."

Standing, I made my way to the restroom to wash my face and looked into the mirror. It felt weird to lock eyes with my baby blues, but I wanted to make sure I knew I was okay. It was just a horrible dream. Sighing softly, I grabbed my towel and dried my face. There is no way this is normal. Walking back into my bedroom, I made a beeline for my laptop and opened the lid, my goal to reach out to my therapist. That nightmare had felt so real that I knew I just needed to talk it over with her.

Me: Hey Doc, I had another nightmare tonight. It felt so vivid I could swear it was real. I even pinched myself within the dream, but it didn't wake me up.

Doc_Hensley: Aura, so you just had a dream? Your body seems to be on a schedule for this kind of thing.

Me: Yeah, well, you know how it is. I started talking with one of my classmates online lately named 'The_Shining_One' and my dream was actually about him. He was really sweet until the end of the dream, where he was working with my mother. I tried to kill myself in the dream, but he caught me before I hit the ground. We ended up flying above the city, then he told me I would serve my purpose. It was my fate long before I was born.

Doc_Hensley:…

The indicator popped up several times, but the doctor did not seem to know what to say. A notification popped up on my web browser, alerting me to a message which caused my blood to run cold. 'The_Shining_One'. No, no, no. I cannot do this right now. It was for the best that I ignored the message and closed that tab while waiting for a response from my doctor. I knew that, no matter how many medications they put me on, the dreams never went away, but she always had some excellent advice, or maybe helped me understand the dream so I could easily go back to sleep.

Doc_Hensley:…

 Again, the indicator popped up, letting me know she was writing something, but again it disappeared. Normally, she would have something right away that would help me relax, but it seemed she was having difficulty with it today. I frowned at this, before picking up my cellphone. There, I saw an alert from 'The_Shining_One' again. Sighing softly, I sat my phone back down just as a message came through from my therapist.

Doc_Hensley: I see. So, this 'The_Shining_One' became a demon in your dream and you tried to kill yourself to escape him? Your mother was also there?

Me: Yes, that's right. We actually made plans to meet up yesterday, and we're supposed to meet up in the morning tomorrow.

Doc_Hensley: First, maybe there is about to be a major change in your life concerning this fellow. This could be you finally casting off the shadow your mother left behind and starting over. I feel like this meetup is a wonderful idea.

***

After that dream, I felt even more awkward than usual about this kind of thing. My excitement over the idea of meeting 'The_Shining_One' had completely drained out of me. As I entered the coffee shop on campus, I waited nervously while pulling out my phone. I worried now about even the smallest of things, like what to say in my message to him. Instead of wearing the same clothes as my dream, I opted for a purple graphic tee and black jeans.

Me: Hey… um… Luis. I'm at the coffee shop, sitting at the booth near the window. I'm wearing a purple tee and black jeans.

No one was staring, I thought as I looked around the shop. Everyone was minding their own business, either looking at laptops or reading. It was a quiet atmosphere that I would have otherwise enjoyed had I not been so nervous about this meeting. I looked around the chic but relaxed room again and sagged against the booth I was in. Will he look like the man from my dream? My phone buzzed from where it sat on the table.

The_Shining_One: I think that's the first time you've ever used my name. I apologize. I am running a bit late, but I'll be there soon.

Before, he was right outside. So, this is fine. There is no way he is the fallen Seraphim, right? The server came over with a friendly smile on her face and I placed my order, a vanilla iced coffee and chocolate cake. Of course, it was a different person from my dream. In fact, it did not appear that woman worked here at all, as no one met her description. I sighed in relief until the door opened, revealing a six-foot three man that matched perfectly with the man from my nightmare.

He looked around for a bit before his eyes landed on me, and the smile that lit his features made my blood run cold. It was a friendly smile that perfectly reached his eyes, as one would expect, but it reminded me of the last smile Luis had given me in my dream. As he walked over to me, I remained frozen where I sat until he reached the table with his hand extended. Standing suddenly, stiffly, I shook his hand before sitting back down.

"You're Aura, right?" His voice in my ears sounded just like my dream. "My full name is Luis Eos Fir."

"Ah, right…" I replied, my wits leaving me for a moment. "Aura Bedisa. It's nice to put a face to the name."

My voice was shaky when I met his eyes before looking down at the table. As he sank into the booth, I followed suit, doing my best to steady my shaking hands and racing heart. Is he going to ask about my past? Or the cult stuff? Is he going to say something provocative, then brush it off as though it were a joke? Will he ask to go somewhere private and take me to my mother? These irrational thoughts built up within me until I felt ready to crack under the pressure.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" Luis asked, eyes drawn up in concern. "You look a little pale."

"Oh, I just had a bad dream last night." I waved my hand dismissively. "I'll be alright when I get my coffee."

"If you're sure." He replied, looking at the menu. "Have you ever had any of the muffins here before? They're quite good."

I shook my head as the server came back over with my order and took his. There were no flirty manners, no second glances. She simply wrote his coffee and chocolate chip cookie cake on her order pad before walking away. So far, it was a normal meetup, causing me to relax a bit. Looking up at him after I finished my cake, I mentally prepared myself to talk with him. The whole purpose of this meeting was to make a new friend, something my therapist recommended often.

"So, I was curious…" I started, his gaze traveling up from his cookie cake to meet mine. "What made you interested in religious studies?"

"Good question." Luis countered, taking a bite of his food. "I never really had a solid basis for information on emotions and feelings, and I found the teachings of God to be interesting, so I wanted to look at other religions as well. What about you?"

"Uh…" I froze, but remembered I was the one that brought it up. "I had a terrible childhood, and as I grew up, I learned about religion through my family."

It was not exactly the truth, but it was as much as I wanted to share. Luis smiled softly as he looked at me, his eyes filled with concern. One thing that was accurate from my dream was that most people already knew of my history. Odds are, Luis had heard the rumors that had followed me since childhood. There was not much I could do about that, because most of the rumors were true. My mother was a cult leader. I looked down at the table between us before opening my mouth again.

"Um… I'm sorry, I'm sure you've heard the rumors about me from our classmates." I continued, nervously stroking my elbow. "It's weird that you're actually still talking to me."

"You mean the rumors about you being a witch?" I closed my eyes at his words, the memory of my mother coming to my mind immediately. "Or the one about you being the daughter of a fallen angel?"

"Both…"

"Ha-ha, I've studied a lot of religions, wicca culture included, and witches." He replied, causing me to look up to meet his gaze. "If you are a witch, I can't find it in me to mind. I think you're really sweet, if not a little awkward."

The compliment had been unexpected, and I blushed. Luis chuckled at my response before calling the server over. Apparently, he intended to pay for my order as well, and did so without even blinking. He made no move to stand or leave, looking at me with something akin to curiosity. I felt odd under his gaze, but tried to smile and continue the conversation.

"If you don't mind, can we meet up again?" Luis asked, his sienna-colored eyes focused on me in a way that made me squirm. "Maybe for dinner sometime?"

"Uh…" I could feel my face grow hot at this, as I definitely did not expect it. "As… as like… a date?"

He chuckled again, lifting his hand to his mouth as a smile split his lips. It drew me in, the look suiting him far better when it was genuine, but it still made me feel flustered. I shifted nervously in my seat as I waited for his response. I had zero experience with men, and I was pretty sure this was the first time I had ever felt nervous around one. I felt like the girls from my high school, excited about the prospect of going on a date with a guy they liked.

"Yes, Aura." He replied, kindly but firmly. "Just like a date."

Was that not too fast for us? We had only just met, and although we talked a lot online, I was not sure if it was such a good idea. What if he was cast out of society like me? What if people hated him because of me? He was a good-looking man, so there was no need for him to drag himself down just because he felt sorry for me. With this thought in mind, I looked up to lock eyes with him, ready to refuse his offer. The hopeful look in his eyes stopped me in my tracks and I sighed. What could it really hurt to accompany him on one date? I could always turn him down if he asked for a second one.