brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
"Why'd you wake me up!? I was having a great dream about megumi fushiguro!!"
"You simp too much" Carl laughed
Carl cooked breakfast
While Kiyo happily sleeps in his demon bag.
"I wish i had demon powers… then i can go visit any world i want..." avi mumbled to herself
"Well you don't! And even if you asked kiyo, he's not gonna help ya" carl said
-sigh-
Kiyo yawned and woke up.
"Good morning, Mortals. What do we have to feast for today?"
"Food...you get what you get"
"What's up with Debbie downer?"
"She's sad that she doesn't have demon powers like you so she can't go to universes where the people she simps for are"
"Lol simp"
"Shut up!! It's not my fault they're hot!!"
"SIMP"
"Shut up big chest goth simp, I bet you had a crush on Kim possible when you were 12!"
"Big chest goth simp.... DID YOU GO THROUGH MY SEARCH HISTORY?"
"NO! THAT WAS JUST A GUESS! DID YOU JUST EXPOSE YOURSELF?!"
"He did" kiyo said
"BAHAHAHAHA!" avi laughed
HAHA THATS WHY YOU USE INCOGNITO WHEN YOU WATCH CORN-
SLAP
Don't even
"Anyways...kiyo-"
"No"
"But-"
"No"
"Ugh…"
Come on, let the girl have her freedom! I mean, you only live one…
Well except for kiyo...he's immortal-
"SUPER SIMP"
"You know i have a good aim, right?"
"Yeah why?"
Avi threw a knife at carl.
He blocked it with a frying pan
"No pancakes for you"
Hiss
"Y'know for a non-demon you sure act like a demon…" kiyo said
"I sure do! That's why I need those powers!!"
"You don't need them. You want them. Demon culture does not promote gluttony."
"I thought it was the other way around…"
"Yeah man"
"..."
"I DON'T PROMOTE GLUTTONY THEN!!"
"Fiiinnnee…you're lucky im not a megalomaniac, because by then you would've died..."
"I'm immortal, what else could I need? More trouble from you?"
"Maybe, but I ask, how did you become a Demon?"
"Why should i tell you anything?"
"Because we've welcomed you to our humble house and you've lived here since we were able to afford this house?"
"MORE LIKE YOU BARGED INTO MY HOME AND YOU GUYS ARE FREELOADING HERE!"
"Ah, come on...we're besties it's what we do...ew, did i just say besties-"
"Also you get free 5 star cooking"
"Ugh...fine...i got it from my sister. After I died forever, she felt bad, went down to the hell world and granted me powers."
"Wait so... wow she basically just grabbed you slapped ya with some powers and said YOU AIN'T DYING TODAY FOOL"
"I guess…"
"That's all you need to know."
"Also, while you plebeians were sleeping, i got this."
Kiyo showed a Carl Card.
"MAH CARDS"
"Where'd you find that…"
"I Beat the sh** out of Tenko to force Angie to give the card back."
"I-"
"Do we need to pay anyone or…"
"I had to pay for the Ghost-Hospital bills, yes."
"You didn't have insurance?"
"More like she didn't have insurance.."
"Yeah but you can pay someones insurance with yours,trust me I used to be a insurance agent"
"Hey, I could have just left her beat up. That's the least i could have done."
"...so uh...what's the agenda for today?"
"You two get goth girl crushes' cards back."
"But...i like me those depressed af anime boys…excluding todoroki"
"Also just call me carl"
"Okay, Goth girl."
"Wait...we should call him gothelle"
"JUST STOP, If the Cards go into the wrong hands someone shall destroy the world"
"What's the deal with those cards anyways…and why am i the only one without some kind of magical power or thing?!"
Carl cleared his throat
"80 Years ago in the 40's-"
"Oh jeez, it's gonna be a long story" avi said
"How do you know…"
"He started with '80 years ago'"
"JUST LET ME FINISH, Anyway in the 40's During WW2 the russians found something in a town it was a pair of playing cards BUT these were not just cards THEY COULD SUMMON GHOSTS CURE ILLNESS , AND GIVE THE HOLDER A VAST KNOWLEDGE, "
"Sounds like child's play."
"FOR YOU, but for this is why it's very important we get the Cards back"
"...so...where are they…"
"With Angie..and….Atua. I always knew that god was fake."
"We have to see them again? Jeez, can't we just have one day where we just visit random universes and probably TP someone's house or something?"
Carl loaded a Shotgun
"Welp lets go"
"Wait lemme get my switch, since i'm not gonna be an assist"
"See ya." Kiyo said.
Carl put in his headphones and played doom music
"Adios"
He jumped in the hole
"Portal's open. Bye!"
"...okay-"
"I don't want to come unless I'm getting a benefit off of it, so good riddance!"
"Well…"
"You get to…"
"Actually i'm stumped, she's seen everything that universe has to offer…"
Kiyo tries to go to sleep.
Rip and tear blared through the portal while shotgun sounds rang out
"DIE DEMONS DIE"
"Let me just blare dance moms so they can cringe…" avi muttered from the portal
"WAIT.. YOU'RE MURDERING PEOPLE? YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT" Kiyo yelled
Kiyo brought all of his killing demon stuff and went down the portal
"I HAVE A DEMON GUN AND EVERYTHING. IM F**KING READY"
"KIYO SHUT UP DONT MAKE ME PUT DANCE MOMS!" avi yelled
Kiyo took out his death note in retaliation.
"You sure?"
"Come on, you know you care about me too much to mur-"
Kiyo shoots the crap out of Avi.
"REALLY KIYO?"
"You dared me."
"NO I DIDN'T! TURN ME BACK!"
"No"
"Pleeeease"
"No"
"KOREKIYO SHINGUJI"
"Hm...no!"
Avi took a deep breath
"SARAWASENAII KIMI WA SHOUJO NA NO--"
"PLEASE STOP"
"BOKU"
"DON'T DO IT"
"NO YARICHIN"
"AVI"
"BIICHI NA OSU DA YO"
"AVI WHAT THE HELL?!"
Kiyo grabs Avi's Ghost soul.
"SING THAT AGAIN AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ALIVE AGAIN."
"THEN TURN ME BACK DAMMIT"
Kiyo slams the ghost soul back into her body.
"THERE HAPPY MS.WEEB?"
"YES, MR.DEMON"
Carl flew from the portal
"Ouchies those ghosts are really hot… but strong"
Kiyo and avi stared at him with blazing eyes
"What's up with you two?"
"Anyways, we gotta stop SIMPING and start KILLING" Kiyo replied.
"Well at least i'm not IMMORTAL so i can't do whatever i want without DYING"
"I think that's the definition of immortal, Carl."
"Ugh, screw it…"
Avi grabbed her dagger and sweater
"Lets go to Angie."
"HEEEEELP HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP IM NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE YET I'M NOT FINISHED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY"
"What's up with that ghost?" Carl asked
"People die accidentally and get sent here. It's like a funnier purgatory." Kiyo replied.
"Oh"
"So, who am i supposed to kill?" avi muttered
"The hot ghosts over there" Carl pointed
"Alright…"
Avi started to run over there
'AVI WAIT WE'RE DOING- and she's already attacking...so much for the sneak attack…" kiyo said
"Excuse me. Why are you killing my minions?"
"Because you're bad, we're good, now die!!"
"Who's tf is that"
"He actually was real…. It's Atua. He looks super fugly tho"
"Really? Fugly? You could have chosen any other word."
"I was feeling cultured. Im sorry."
"LITTLE HELP HERE?!" avi yelled
All the ghosts disintegrated and were yelling into the depths of hell.
"HELP NOOO WE WERE DOING OUR JOOOOOOOOOBSssq dammit…. Screw this i was going to hell anyways
"KIYO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Carl pulled out a railgun
"EAT SH**"
BWAAAAAAAAAAAA
CHUNGCHE
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
The god was TICKLED
"ATUA IS A GOD YOU F**KING D**KWEED"
"Oh f***, AVI-"
Atua looked down at them with disappointment.
"HOPE YOU EAT BALLS OR SOMETHING"
"Insults aren't going to fix our situat-"
Atua picked up the trio and summoned a spirit: Angie Yonaga.
"YOU WHO STOLE THE CARL CARDS"
"Oh I did? Well I gave them to Tenko cause I didn't need them, and Tenko gave the cards to Himiko as a very very very early valentine's present."
"ITS JUNE"
"Uhh KIYO USE DEMON POWER OR SOMETHING BEFORE WE GET TURNED INTO SOUP AND GET SENT TO HELL"
"He's Not gonna do anything. I can see he's hesitating by the sheer demon aura that's coming off of me."
"Im too damn tired for this…"
"Lets just end this."
"ENOLA SU EVAEL DOG DIPUTS"
Atua vanished down to the deep dark crevasse of hell.
"What the heck did you do this time, Kiyo?" Avi asked tiredly.
"Sent him to hell."
"WHAT?"
"YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT,KIYO!"
"I have the power to. So I will."
"Make that 31- no 32 kills. I'm on a 11 kill streak today!"
"Who were the other 10?"
"The ghosts that Avi was attacking."
"Can i get paid for that?"
"Sure."