Lacrimony

What is this excited crowd again? There is never a day that these young people are not in all their states. What is this energy they have?

I am at the wheel of my first R8 V10 of the year, a present from my mother for nineteen years, provided that I do not do crazy things; otherwise, she will take it back. Despite my father's rebuffs, she still has it bought and organized a pleasant surprise for me.

This woman is a diamond in my life.

Piqued with curiosity, I parked the car along the sidewalk at the sight of this crowd. I looked in my rearview mirror before turning off the ignition.

There is an excitement on campus that catches my attention. I didn't intend to stop before arriving at my faculty, but at the sight of this crowd in front of the bulletin board, I couldn't resist.

As I approached the group, I immediately recognized Zack, who also noticed me; with both arms in the air, he waved at me to join him. He was shouting my name like crazy while motioning for me to come to find him.

"What's going on?" I asked him when I reached him.

"There will be an open-door activity; each faculty member must manage to present a well-detailed project. We were given only two months to prepare it. There will be exciting prizes and other activities to keep the mood going. It looks like they were all looking forward to this moment." He excitedly explained it to me.

"It's been a long since we had an open door on campus, and I understand their excitement," I uttered.

"It will last a week at most until all the projects are presented. There will be juries to judge the quality and importance of each project they will introduce. And we'll party until 11:00 p.m. every day, not to mention the hours they'll take for themselves apart from what the dean has given us. I can't wait to see them that day."

"It's going to be hell down here," I answered him, with a burst of laughter accompanied by Zack. "No, man, It's going to be great. I hope we win one of the best prizes." he corrects me.

"Every time we have activities involving our departments, it becomes a disaster." I retorted

"It's precisely this disaster that makes these activities so popular, mate, and that's why we don't get them as often."

"Exactly!" I agreed with a laugh, "We're going to have fun like crazy." A sentence that he accompanies with action by surrounding my shoulders with his arm and pulling me a little towards him while giving me little pats on the chest.

That's when I saw him... "Oh, Lord!" It accidentally slipped out of my mouth. Zack stops dead in his tracks and asks me: "Did I hurt you, dude? I'm sorry, I think I caught the same excitement fever as the others."

"Uh.. no... no," I stammered painfully, atrophied by the appearance of Aim.

I think he also noticed me when I saw him because he stopped while three other guys eagerly rushed toward him. My heart aches, and I can't take my eyes off him.

"Hey, Aim! Aim! Aim!"

"Are you going to stop shouting my name like that? You are acting weird, you know it, and you'll end up covering this crowd."

"It's been a while since you left. Where have you been? Jade asked, ignoring my complaint. Without giving me time to answer, Hansley intervenes on his side.

"Is everything back to normal now, man? You've been hanging around with an unearthed head for a few days. We know you're the laconic type, but lately, you've become entirely mute. What's bothering you?"

"Yeah, that's right," Ethan said, following my gaze when he realized I was only half-listening to them. We're here for you, don't you know that? We gave you enough space to talk about it on your own, but now you're forcing our hand."

But it was Hart who asked the question that burned Ethan's lips. Hart had just joined us. He wasn't shouting my name at the top of his lungs like those three madmen. He has a bit of descent and self-control.

"So, who is he?" He asked, nodding to Ken.

"He, oh, it's Ewen, and I kissed him last Monday," I told them without any amenity or decency as if it were a science subject without any importance. "And I don't know how he will react because I haven't seen him since."

They hung on my lips, eyes wide open with a thousand unanswered questions. I can't help but Ignore their gaze, and I turn my attention to this person who seems a little scared when he sees me.

"Is he afraid of me now?" I wonder mentally.

When the moment of stupefaction passed, they all started talking together, excited like puppies.

"No, you're going to stop this right now, and behave like civilized people, one question at a time, and stop hovering around me like puppies; you're going to make me dizzy."

"Me," Jade shouted, raising a finger like a child asking to speak in class.

"Go ahead." I told him, rolling my eyes, "Drop your nonsense, Mon Vieux." He giggled before starting.

"Do you like guys? I didn't know you were seeing someone. When did you have time to kiss someone?" He asked, thoughtfully swinging bluntly, "You know how to hide your game well, Mon Vieux, since you're always with us."

Those questions earned him a nudge in the ribs from Hart. He glanced at him before launching another round of questioning when the other three, in one voice, told him to stop.

"Do you remember when I escape? You hadn't seen me all day last Monday, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Jade said, eager to know the following story.

"And for your last question, no, I don't think I like men. There is something about him that attracts me. Let's put it that way. It's this little brat who's turning my world upside down."

"How long have you known him?" Hart asked him calmly.

"I met him a few weeks ago. Since that day, he ultimately swayed me, and I met you. You completely monopolized me for you without me being able to do anything to escape you."

"Last Monday, when I managed to escape, he was where I had met him before, and it happened like this. The worst part is that I took the initiative to offend him right after."

"So, since then, it's the first time you've seen him." Hart takes back in a soft, kind tone. I nodded yes to his question.

Finally comes Ethan, who was listening without saying a word. Far from us, I would say, he may be lost in thought somewhere else in his world.

"And why don't you talk to him? You know, that's the only way to know what he's thinking and if he was offended, as you said. Do you know that making assumptions won't help the situation?"

As usual, he was hoisting himself on his tiptoes to put an arm around my shoulders. This is ridiculous because it didn't even happen since only his palm touched my shoulder.

"What do you think?" he exclaimed, addressing the others listening intently.

"My opinion will be that you apologize to him, not because you kissed him, but because you know you offended him. Then you can discuss the kiss. And then, if he accepts, it's fine, but if he doesn't take your excuse, you have to find a way to make up for it without being sticky. Mostly don't smother him as Ethan does with you," Hensley said with a small laugh, "or you'll lose him forever. What do you think?"

They all nodded in agreement.

My heart is playing tricks on me! I was on the verge of fainting when Zack grabbed me with a firm hand. I think I have a chronic illness. It's confirmed now.

"Come on, let's sit down. Are you okay, man?"

"I should eat something," I told him. "Give me some water, please, and I'd be fine."

He turned away to rummage through his bag, which he always carries slung over his shoulder when a bottle of sparkling water was placed in front of me with a fruit salad.

I raised my head to meet the deep gaze of this mysterious person, who enjoys kissing others without hesitation, only to push them away afterward like an everyday useless object. He was there, full of himself, his gaze impenetrable and hard.

"I read your lips," he said, with a slight smirk at the corner of his lips, as if to explain how he understood that I needed all this. My heart started beating again, even faster than before and louder than everyone around me could hear despite it the noise surrounding us.

He made a gesture to touch me, which I vehemently avoided, a gesture that I immediately regretted. I don't even know why I did that. I saw his eyes darken.

I wanted to take his hand to tell him that I was fine, but he had already started to walk away from me, like a giant crushing everything in his path, without paying attention to the admiring glances they were throwing at him.

I can't run after him to catch up with him because I risk fainting... These days spent cloistering in my room without eating are starting to get under my skin, and the frantic beating of my heart is making my situation worse.

I watch him go further and further away from me with a pang in my heart. Zack's voice rising next to me startled me to the core and made me take my eyes away from him.

"Oh, I see you have already found something to eat. Who gave it to you?" He said, a little annoyed, glancing around.

"Yeah, I found it." I heard myself answering him sadly without any life.

"Who gave it to you? You're not going to drink this water, right?" He snapped. He was much more annoyed while trying to move the bottle away from me that I snatched from his hands a little roughly.

Surprised at my rudeness, he took his hands off the bottle without asking questions and sat beside me, giving me a meaningful look.

Ah, by the way, Zack is my childhood friend. He's always with me in my difficult times. When I say difficult times, I'm talking about my father, a real pain when he gets down to it, and my love troubles.

He's the only friend I bring home, and my dad adores him. They get along really well that sometimes I wonder," is he his son or me?" But it never bothered me because I was never too close to my father. I only shared some time with him when he forced me to play sports to toughen me up.

Zack is the opposite of me. He's athletic and not too keen on body care. I care about my physical appearance and hygiene; there is no getting out of it.

My father always says to his friends: "He, ah, he's his mother's son. I would have liked to have had my son, too."

I must say that he always finds an opportunity to ridicule me. I don't even understand this feeling of embarrassment he feels towards me.

Zack's family is as well-off and wealthy as mine. We've attended the same private schools since we were young until today. Because of his two older sisters, who represent what my father represents to me, he practically lives at my house, and on occasion, he can return to his own home.

When I returned my gaze to the place, I saw Aim go away. He wasn't there anymore; he had disappeared. Even his friends disappeared. And right now, I realized one thing: the mission to get close to Sam has just been canceled or aborted.

She no longer has reason to be. I am completely trapped under the influence of this mysterious boy.

"But what have you done?" Jade threw at me. They were chasing after me, trying to catch up while seething with rage. I feel like my head is going to explode. I need to isolate myself to calm down.

'Is he afraid of me now?' That's the only thing my mind can process now.

I remember the look my therapist gave me when I took control of the unhealthy game she was playing with me. She didn't expect me to become the one who dominated her. She expected to traumatize me to the point of seeing me live only for her, that I would become addicted to her.

But I didn't like her, and she had nothing, in particular, that could attract me, not even for a second.

I remember having already looked at girls and appreciating things about their physiques, but for one reason or another, she left me indifferent.

And I hate being touched, so it was a plus for me, not to mention that I get bored very quickly, so for something to be important to me, it must at least keep me focused for ten minutes straight.

Despite the contempt and rudeness I showed, I never hit her even once. But it was not her case; she did it many times and came to apologize and start again.

I have had a bad temper since I was a young child. Things must always happen my way. Otherwise, I become uncontrollable. My mother knew how to manage me until her death.

I had to put up with it because she was the only one who could help me avoid those damn pills that gave me nausea and stomach pain, but I couldn't wait long.

Just because I am different doesn't mean I'm someone to whom you can do whatever you want. I have my mother's temperament; stubborn and quarrelsome, according to Nodge. But I've never fought; I get into a rage most often, and I smash everything I have at hand until I calm down.

I cannot grasp the meaning of some human actions and needs that doesn't mean I am stupid. Besides people touching me, which I can't stand, I dislike people hitting or shouting at me.

That's what pushed me to change the game. She was just no longer in control of herself. I controlled her mind and her body like a puppeteer.

As they chased me while I was lost in my thought, I headed for the only place I would feel comfortable on this damn campus. "My nest," as Ewen calls it.