20. I’m fine
LARA'S POV
It was four in the afternoon and Bianca, and I had been looking at my husband's car for an hour. Cameron had decided to spend the day with his mother, more than anything to make sure she's okay, and the truth is that I preferred it if he is with her and made sure she's calmer. "Do you know the reason Isa came to Manchester?" my sister asked, and I shrugged "From what she told me, she misses being here and wanted to be with Cameron to support him. She found out what we were doing from mom and grandma" I said without further ado and without looking away from the car.
"Something tells me you know more than what you're telling me" My sister pointed out and even though she knew that's the case, I wasn't going to tell her that Isabele had come because those who had murdered Ellie wanted to give her their reasons why they had done it. "Well, I don't know why. I'm telling you what she told me" I said, and she frowned. "You're very quiet anyway. It's not normal" she responded, and I denied "To begin with, I don't talk that much" I said, and I could notice how Bianca got closer to me "You may not talk as much with others, but with me you do and you're strangely quiet" she informed, and I rolled my eyes. "Because I want to focus on this car, that's why" I said "That makes a little more sense" he murmured, and we got back to work.
We found a couple of weirder things, but not as weird as the flat bottom. Likewise, we called the person in charge and told our findings, and he would inform the investigation committee, which I asked to be different at the beginning.
When Bianca thought it was time to leave, we picked up everything, took photos to make sure no one was messing with our things, and went home where everyone would be waiting for us.
"Lara, are you sure everything is, okay? You're too quiet," my sister insisted, and I nodded, because I am. "I'm just tired," I responded, because it was partly true. The other part is this whole situation stressed me out a little bit. "Look, I understand you don't want to worry your husband or anyone at home, but you can tell me. I promise you I won't tell anyone" She assured. "Bianca, really, there's nothing wrong with me" I protested. "Your hand doesn't say the same thing, Lara" she responded, and I looked at my hand, which I saw is shaking a little. "We're in a car and you know that it's not the best thing in the world" I pointed out "And the tremor in your hand is not because of the car. In the car you can see it by the repetitive movement of your leg. Your hand shakes when you are stressed."
Even though I appreciated my sister is trying to take care of me right now, I didn't like so much at this moment she knew me so well. "Bianca, leave it" I asked, and she denied. "I'm not going to leave it. I just want to help you. I promise I won't tell anyone, but I know there's something that's stressing you out" she pointed out and I took a deep breath. "Are you sure you won't tell anyone?" I asked, knowing she wasn't going to leave me alone until she knew. "Sure" she responded quickly. "Not even Eli?" I asked again and she denied.
"Apparently the people who murdered Ellie contacted Isa to let them explain why they did it. That they have evidence she won't be able to deny," I said, and Bianca slammed on the brakes, making the cars behind us honk, so she moves to the side and turns off the car to focus all her attention on me. "Hard evidence? They murdered Ellie for no reason, they deserve to be where they are" my sister pointed out and I nodded, because I'm partly with her, they deserved it.
"What does Isa have to do with all this?" She asked and I sighed once more "Isa deep down wants to hear them out. She's known them all her life, and I guess she wants to know why" I replied, "And are you stressed about Cameron's reaction?" She asked and I nodded, because in part it is. "Partly" I muttered. "And what is the other part?" She asked, frowning. "I offered to go to see them," I answered, and I could hear my sister take a breath of air.
"Did you offer? Why did you offer?" she asked in a frustrated tone, and I shrugged "I didn't think about it at the time. I just saw Isabelle was having trouble with it and I offered, nothing more. Now it's something I have in the back of my head constantly" I admitted, and she took my hand, giving it a little squeeze "Why did you offer, Lara?" she asked again. "I want to see for myself if they are convincing before I say anything to Cam and I'm afraid Isa won't be objective enough."
"Do you want me to go with you?" My sister said after a few minutes of silence. "You won't be objective either, Bi" I pointed out and she nodded. "I know, and that's why I'll accompany you and not go in. I just want to be with you as support since Cam won't be able to be there" she responded, and I nodded "Okay" I mumbled, and Bianca squeezed my hand again "Now calm down. Everything will be fine, I assure you" she assured, and I nodded, because I knew it.
Not much later, Bianca started the car, and we went home where everyone was waiting for us, and before I could enter the house, my sister stops me, "Go to your room. Just sit for a while and relax, I'll take care the rest won't go to bother you" she informed and I nodded, because I'm really exhausted at this moment. "Thank you, Bi" I said, giving her a hug. "You're welcome. You have me for whatever you need me for" she responded and the moment I entered the house I went upstairs to go lie down for a while and sleep.
CAMERON'S POV
It was eight in the afternoon when Lara and Bianca entered the house, and the former headed towards the stairs without saying anything to anyone. I was going to go after her, but Bianca assured me she's just tired and was going to sleep for a while, so I relaxed and stayed in the kitchen helping my mother and Carmela make dinner.
I don't know how much time had passed since the girls had gotten home, but suddenly, we heard Lara scream, and I ran upstairs to see what's happening to her. Once I got to the room, I see her sitting, with my hand on her chest, taking deep breaths and I approach her slowly so as not to scare her more. "Honey…" I said and Lara focused her gaze on me. "Everything's okay, I'm here" I said, remembering what Sam had told me the other night. I moved closer to the bed until I took her hand and left it on my chest, trying not to make her stress even more. "I'm fine" I whispered and ended up hugging her, leaving her head on my chest so she could calm down faster.
"Why did you come?" My wife asked after a few minutes of silence and me sitting on the bed so Lara would be more comfortable. "You screamed and I got scared, so I came to check on you and for to calm you down" I responded, and Lara moved away from me for a moment frowning "Did I scream? I didn't scream" she said, totally confused, and now I'm starting to think both Eli and Sam were right, she didn't realize she's doing it. "Honey, you did...but that's it, don't worry...everything fine. We're fine"
I continued running my hand along her back while the other was on top of hers which was on my chest. When I noticed she had calmed down, I placed a kiss on her temple and pushed her away from me. "Better?" I asked and she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know why I have to be better, really" she muttered. "Honey, it's normal for you to have nightmares, I understand it and you don't have to hide it."
"Cam, I'm seriously telling you that I don't have nightmares. I just wake up feeling bad" my wife insisted, and I nodded, because I knew she wasn't lying to me. "It's okay. What if you go to the psychologist for that matter?" I asked and she frowned "And why should I? I'm fine," she answered, and I nodded. "I know, but it's not the first time someone has heard you scream, Lara, and maybe it's related to the accident."
"This is all very confusing, Cam, and I'm not understanding anything" my wife said in a tired tone. "I know, and that's why I'm saying we could go see a psychologist to find out what's wrong with you." I answered calmly and she nodded. "I'll talk with Patricia to make an appointment for when we get back home" she responded, and I frowned "And I have the feeling that will be longer than we should expect" I pointed out and she shrugged her shoulders "I don't know. Why didn't you ever tell me I screamed?" she asked curiously "Because it's news to me too. You never screamed with me" I admitted and Lara frowned "I don't understand" she muttered "I don't know, but since the accident you always leave your head on my chest... most of the time you have your hand on my chest... Sam thinks that's a way to assure you that I'm alive and we think the nightmares have to do with that because you only do it when I'm not with you" I revealed and she turned away from me completely.
"I did it before leaving my hand and head on your chest" my wife pointed out and I nodded. "I know, but now you do it a lot more, and I'm not saying it bothers me, because you know it doesn't, but maybe you have some type of trauma" I could see how she thought for a while about something, I hope what I had told her.
"I'll think about whether to go sooner, but if, as you say, with you by my side, it doesn't happen to me, I guess we can stay that way for now" she pointed out and I nodded. "As long as you're okay, perfect" I said with a smile on my face, because it's true, what matters to me is she's well. "Are we going to dinner?" "I'm almost sure I can hear your stomach asking for food" I said, and Lara laughed "You're right, I'm hungry" she admitted with a small smile on her face "Then let's not wait any longer" I responded, standing up and helping her up since apparently one of her legs had fallen asleep.
When I got to the bottom floor, I could see how everyone was looking at Lara worried, but they saw she had a big smile, they calmed down and decided not to say anything, probably so she wouldn't get more stressed, and during dinner everything was laughter, which was brilliant.
It was half past eleven when we decided to go to rest since apparently Lara is still a little tired. Once in the room, we put on our pajamas and went to bed, me with my head on Lara's abdomen and she with her hand through my hair. "When do you think, I will start listening to them?" I asked curiously. "I don't have the slightest idea, honestly" she answered, and I turned around so I could see her.
"How does it feel to be pregnant?" I asked, "Well, the truth is weird. One moment I can be super happy and the next I can be angry about something that wouldn't normally make me angry... I'm hungry almost all the time... I want to sleep every time... It's all very weird. And I know that will change the moment I have a belly that can't see my own feet" she said with a smile on her face and her gaze focused on me "At that moment I will help you" I assured "You better, because it's likely with my mood swings, I'll end up killing you if you don't do it" Lara responded and I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll keep it clear for future occasions."
We remain silent for a few minutes, looking at each other when my wife sighs, "Is something wrong with you?" I asked, tensing up a little to be honest. "Everything is fine. Better, why don't you tell me how you are?" She questioned and I frowned. "I'm fine" I replied, not understanding what exactly she wants to know. "Are you sure? Because since we've been together again, I haven't seen you go to physical therapy once. If there's one thing I don't want, it's for you to get worse" she said with tears accumulating in her eyes, which makes me quickly sit up and leave one of my hands on her face "Eh, eh. Everything is fine with me. You shouldn't worry about physiotherapy; everything is fine, and I don't need it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it really wasn't in my mind when I saw you again" I said sincerely and wiped away the tear that had escaped her eye "Don't you have to go to physical therapy anymore?" She asked and I denied "No, what I should perhaps do more often is exercise, I'm not saying this because of my physical shape but to continue improving this thing about walking with prostheses."
"I suppose it must not be easy," she muttered, and I denied. "At first it's not, and even more so if you do not get used to the idea you are missing a leg" I said, remembering the conversation I had had with a man with the same problem. "Didn't you ever get the idea?" she asked with a scared tone "I got the idea the moment I found out at the hospital. I really don't have a problem with having a leg... I'm alive and that's what matters most to me... being here for you and for when the babies are born" I said sincerely "So how do you know it costs more if you don't get the idea?" she asked curiously.
"A man came with me to do physio, and he told me at first it was difficult for him to adapt because for him, he had his leg. He had fallen many times for having gotten up for something" I responded, and she nodded "I imagine it must not be easy" she replied, and I shrugged my shoulders. "I think that as soon as you are missing a limb is considered insignificant when you have it, but you lose it, it is complicated. You realize how important it was" I replied, and she nodded as if she understood what I meant.
"So, what you have to do now is exercise" my wife pointed out and I slightly raised my head from her abdomen. "Wouldn't you like it if I gain weight?" I joked and she snorted "I don't give a shit if you get fat. I love you for being you and nothing more," said Lara, completely convinced, which made me laugh. "So, if I were ugly, you would have loved me anyway?" I joked and she rolled her eyes. "Clearly, what I wouldn't fall in love with at all are your little jokes she pointed out and I laughed. "You can stop, I'm serious. It's not something I want to have to face right now" she pointed out and I tried to contain my laughter even though it wasn't easy at all.
"It's okay, you better rest because you still seem tired" I pointed out and she nodded. "I'm really dead tired" she muttered, letting me notice how her breathing was deepening. "It's okay, go to sleep, honey. I love you" I whispered, with her probably not listening to me anymore. "I love you" she whispered. I gave her a kiss on her temple and placed her on my chest to prevent her from having any kind of nightmare and so she could rest better.