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The Otherworldly Exile

Auteur: YwPancake
Fantaisie
Actuel · 29K Affichage
  • 19 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.7
    21 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

The world lies in ruins, what was meant to maintain world peace became the worst curse of humanity. The advanced technology and science didn’t improve society, but in fact it made it worse than ever. Surviving isn’t living; it’s just clinging on to the cruel reality. In this era, some people would rather die than live. Hope and dreams didn’t matter anymore; it was a hopeless world. One day everything turned upside down. I was thrown into a new reality, a whole different world, a place full of mystery, where the unknown lurks.

Étiquettes
5 étiquettes
Chapter 1Prologue

Empty streets, quiet roadways—the once bustling city with laughter and noises is now completely silenced. There wasn't even a single moving car—that's how quiet it was.

And of course the cause is war…

Ever since the war broke out, no one was allowed to go out anymore without a proper reason, and with a proper reason I mean something on the same level as death. Yes, it was kind of a lockdown.

War… I hate it.

The conflicts ruined not just dreams; they ruined your life. There was nothing to do in a cruel time like this. Regularly, people would ask themselves what the point of staying alive was.

Occasionally, people forgot their reason to live, forgetting what the purpose of life was. It was either dying or living—that was how people thought life worked.

Because of the war, most people forgot how to live, how to care, and how to be there for others. It was either staying at home or joining the forces.

Even a woman could join the front lines. With the new advanced technology and science, everything was possible. People even tried to reach immortality, but that's what led them to reality.

Besides war, there wasn't much to do in life. I didn't have siblings, and my parents were never home. I was lonely, but I was used to it—used to being alone.

- - -

It was also hard to earn money. In these days, everything is online, but that's a bad thing. People who used to work in stores are now jobless, and they can't earn money.

Money. Everything was about money. People were so desperate to gain it; for them, it was a motivation to live. But once they realized that money wasn't everything, everything changed. For the people who've realized the truth, money was nothing more than a piece of shit. There wasn't even much you could do with money. For the government, it was just a tool to manipulate people.

The government didn't need money—they needed men; they needed people, in other word's; toys. They didn't care what they needed to do. Justice doesn't exist anymore. Justice died. Well, truth to be told, no one fully understood the government. We don't know what they're trying to accomplish and their goals remain unknown to the world.

- - -

Every day, people die, not just in the war that is going on but also in suicides. People commit suicide after realizing the pointlessness of living.

You couldn't even commit a crime. I mean, you could, but who would care? The government itself is even more evil.

If you were thinking of going outside, it was indeed a bad decision. Even if you don't get caught, advanced artificial intelligence [AAI] will track you down. They wouldn't care less and would take you to the government, thinking that you were an intruder.

Sometimes they wouldn't spare you, even if you had a proper reason. And why? We don't know, the truth is, no one knows what the government desires.

…The government punished people who went outside, and no one knows what happened to them. Normally a government should be on the side of justice, but I guess the devil took over.

And no one had the power to stop them, if you were going to interfere, a death fate is waiting for you. That's why people don't mess with the government, in other words, we're powerless.

People don't just fear war, what they mostly fear is the government.

The world is too cruel. There's no hope; nothing can save this planet anymore.

And because of that, the days were always the same:

Waking up

eating

doing nothing

sleeping

Repeat.

That was life for me and most of the other citizens. There wasn't anything bad about it, but it was just plain enough that people would commit suicide.

Not to mention, one of the rules was that at least one of your family members had to join the army.

Except in my family, it was only me and my dad, and my dad needed to take care of me, so he didn't join.

I didn't know what happened to my mom, but I'd rather not ask my dad about it.

I didn't know what she did in her life, but I'd rather avoid trouble. In a time like this, people didn't spare you. In other words, people had no mercy.

People even blamed God for ruining their lives; they blamed everything except themselves. People were truly foolish.

- - -

"Why does such a timeline exist??"

It was a question asked by many; people didn't understand why they were born in such a cruel time. They didn't want to accept the fact that they were unlucky.

I hated people like them.

What was the point of complaining? It wouldn't help you anyway—it's just for your own foolish pleasures.

I've realized that, even though I'm just a kid. I've learned about the world by reading lots of books. That's why I have superior knowledge compared to most people.

- - -

Since people didn't go out, they didn't want to study. But working was different; people needed to make money to survive, even if it didn't have any worth.

There was almost nothing you could do with money; the only thing you could do was buy food at the end of the month, but for me, that was enough.

Even though it was hard to earn money, I somehow got a bookshelf full of books.

Even books from other countries were prohibited, yet… I somehow got a bookshelf full of them. Well, no one was going to stop me anyway, so I've already read them all. But after rereading the books, there was no more accommodation.

I was, in fact, lonely, stuck in a small house with nothing but books. Even I had dreams and hopes, but they are pointless now.

Loneliness… Yes, I hate it, but complaining about it wouldn't help. It would probably upset me even more.

In some places, you can't even get the basics, like food and medicine. I'm thankful enough that I have them; people should be grateful instead of criticizing and complaining.

However, after some time, I've even begun questioning myself about life.

'What is freedom in a world like this?'

'What does it feel like to be free?'

'What is freedom?'

'Is being free possible?'

I was feeling lost; I didn't know what reality was. I was hoping everything was a dream, but then reality kicked in, and I slapped myself in the face. I whispered to myself, "This is reality," reminding myself that I was alone forever.

I had given up hope and dreams; both of them were unnecessary in a world like this.

Loneliness is the only thing I have.

Lonely, lonely, lonely.

All I do is be alone…

- -

Footsteps—!

As I was reminding myself about the truth of the world, I suddenly heard footsteps, which was very unusual for a time like this.

I knew by the sound of the footsteps that it was my dad. I didn't have a good relationship with him, but it wasn't that bad either—in other words, neutral—but I saw him as a stranger, and I didn't have a proper connection with him.

Normal parent-child relationships are filled with love, but it was different for me. I never felt the touch of love, and he never even tried to show it.

All I see him doing is smoking and reading a newspaper, and the rest of the time he's not home. For me, he's a mysterious man—someone who's acting like a fool but isn't.

Instead of staying at home, he goes outside, and he knows the consequences for sure. But he does it daily, I suspect him of being part of the government. But I didn't question him in case it ruined everything. Who knows, if he is a member, he might just kill me on the spot, even if I'm his child, the world is unknown.

He mostly comes home at night, wearing a white coat. But without him, I wouldn't survive—he's the one paying the bills and buying food. I'm not sure if it's his way of showing his support, but if it is, I appreciate it.

As he walked into the room, he just sat in the corner and didn't even look into my eyes; he just stood there, in the corner of the room, while smoking a cigarette.

Soon afterwards, he threw the cigarette away and said:

"Son… You will be attending an online class soon."

Huh?

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audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
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LightServant
LightServantLv1
muho0
muho0Lv1

worldbuilding: Let me say this in the nicest way possible: you're a newbie with great potential, but the worldbuilding isn't good, to be honest. I know why—you're trying to be like those other novels, the MTLs (Machine Translations) that cause brain rot. Do not try to be like them; they are terrible. Just look at LOTM (Lord of the Mysteries). The first 100 chapters are slow-paced, focused purely on worldbuilding, with no big fights or anything. You need to try to implement some info, even if it means info-dumping. Take it slow, build up, and Boom—make it climax. Character Design/Backstory: It’s easy to implement yourself into the MC if you’re using the first person, but it's hard to do it with other characters. For example, we don't know anything about his dad—add some depth, my boy! Quality over quantity. The best example of this is Portal 2. There are only two characters in the game, both AI, but they are written so well that they feel human. This might be a bad example because it's a game with pictures and stuff, but anyway—remember, QUALITY >>> QUANTITY. Writing: This isn't going to be a whole lot, but okay. To be honest, I don't know what to say about this one because, as I said before, I like the writing. Although it's fast-paced, slow it down, my guy. Do it. I like the way the novel goes, though. I didn’t say much here, but okay, now onto how the story develops. I already talked about this in worldbuilding, but who cares? Development of the Story: It's fast, WAY too fast. Like, he gets revived and stuff only in 16 chapters and fights too powerful enemies. SLOW IT DOWN. Anyways, I’m done.

Plutometspike
PlutometspikeLv1

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