webnovel
Sundile
SundileLv18mth
2024-08-02 04:49

Before discovering FOALF, my life was a constant struggle. I felt like an outcast, mocked by the boys and pitied by the girls. I was unattractive, overweight, scarred, and intellectually challenged. I was treated with contempt, barely considered human. Bullied relentlessly for being different, I was shoved into lockers, plunged into toilets, and even curb-stomped on multiple occasions. After another brutal day of torment, I found myself on the verge of ending it all. Just as I was about to take that final step, I received a Discord notification from @Høohan, talking about a web novel he was writing. With nothing to lose, I decided to check it out. From the moment I read the first word of FOALF, my entire existence changed. It was as if Plato's metaphysical realm of perfect ideas had manifested in my life. My very essence was transformed; I was no longer a mere mortal. As I delved deeper into the story, indescribable changes occurred, not just within me but in the very fabric of reality itself. Each word of FOALF overwhelmed me with an unparalleled sense of awe. After reading FOALF, I was no longer a loser or a bum. I became a winner, a god. The boys who once laughed at me now bowed in admiration, and the girls who pitied me now looked at me with desire. FOALF is transcendent literature that saved me from a life of misery and transformed me into someone worthy of respect and reverence.

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YwPancake
YwPancakeAuthor

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KP_the_KING
KP_the_KINGLv4

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Other Reviews
LightServant
LightServantLv1
muho0
muho0Lv1

worldbuilding: Let me say this in the nicest way possible: you're a newbie with great potential, but the worldbuilding isn't good, to be honest. I know why—you're trying to be like those other novels, the MTLs (Machine Translations) that cause brain rot. Do not try to be like them; they are terrible. Just look at LOTM (Lord of the Mysteries). The first 100 chapters are slow-paced, focused purely on worldbuilding, with no big fights or anything. You need to try to implement some info, even if it means info-dumping. Take it slow, build up, and Boom—make it climax. Character Design/Backstory: It’s easy to implement yourself into the MC if you’re using the first person, but it's hard to do it with other characters. For example, we don't know anything about his dad—add some depth, my boy! Quality over quantity. The best example of this is Portal 2. There are only two characters in the game, both AI, but they are written so well that they feel human. This might be a bad example because it's a game with pictures and stuff, but anyway—remember, QUALITY >>> QUANTITY. Writing: This isn't going to be a whole lot, but okay. To be honest, I don't know what to say about this one because, as I said before, I like the writing. Although it's fast-paced, slow it down, my guy. Do it. I like the way the novel goes, though. I didn’t say much here, but okay, now onto how the story develops. I already talked about this in worldbuilding, but who cares? Development of the Story: It's fast, WAY too fast. Like, he gets revived and stuff only in 16 chapters and fights too powerful enemies. SLOW IT DOWN. Anyways, I’m done.

Plutometspike
PlutometspikeLv1
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