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The First Store System

Auteur: pinaka_
Fantastique
Actuel · 3.9M Affichage
  • 1629 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.2
    78 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

A strange store that sells everything suddenly appears in the town. The Owner of the store is a young man and anyone who tried to mess with him %$#@. The products of the store are expensive, yet the queue outside the store never stops. "So what, If you're an Emperor? I'll fight to the death with you if you try to break the queue." These scenes outside the store were daily occurrences. *** Join the Discord server, https://discord.gg/4nbaU7Cy *** The cover art is not mine. I have taken it from pinterest. Please contact me if it is your art.

Étiquettes
9 étiquettes
Chapter 1The First Store

"Not again, Lily,"

A man looking in his early twenties complained, seeing the scene in front of him. The view was a mess. Several small containers containing different colors of liquids were lying on the ground. The bottles didn't break, but still, he has to clean up this mess.

"It's not my fault. It's all due to you not playing with me," A childlike voice came from the man's head. A cat, the size of the man's palm, sat atop his head, looking down at the mess like it had nothing to do with her. Lily was the name of the cat. She had a covering of white fur all over her body. Her ears were standing, and orange eyes with a black slit.

"I saw you doing this," The man scoffed.

"I did this because you didn't play with me. So you see, it's your fault, Aakesh," Lily argued.

The man known to be Aakesh went speechless. There was nothing left to do but sigh because she was too cute to get yelled at. "Where did my innocent and cute Lily go?" He cried jokingly.

"Hmph," Lily scoffed. She vanished from his head, appeared the next moment in front of him, and slapped him on his head. "Ouch," He cried out in pain.

"Now, you've done it," Aakesh groaned and started a fight with her.

After a few minutes, they both sat down, panting. The mess only increased after their fight. Aakesh begrudgingly stood up and started cleaning what looked like a rundown store. There were shelves after shelves containing strange materials in the room. The store looked rundown, but most of the items in the store were even brighter than the sun. Any of the riches, medicines, or supplies in the shop have the potential to start the most lethal conflicts.

This store is known as 'The First Store'. Aakesh was more than six feet tall, had dark blue skin even bluer than poison; wavy black hairs coming down to his waist; black eyes that could suck light like the abyss. He had the perfect looks any being could have. After cleaning the mess, he sat on a chair waiting for the customer, with Lily lazing on his shoulder.

***

Universe Rainbow, Galaxy Door, Planet Redstar,

Universe Rainbow was only worth a drop in the ocean known as the Multiverse. Rainbow was one of the Universes solely born for the cultivators.

"Why?" A young pale-skinned man on his last breath and asked while clutching his chest.

"You shouldn't have done this," The old man said without turning back.

"But, I am your most loyal soldier before a son, emperor," The young man complained.

"You shouldn't have killed the young master of the undead sect," The old man turned around and said while looking down at the dying young man.

"I had to. That beast would have defiled an innocent girl otherwise," the young man yelled, clutching his chest. A hole made by a sword was present on his chest.

"I know. You aren't at the wrong. But if I don't kill you, the undead sect has threatened to wage war with us," The old man said, his voice trembling with unwillingness.

"Forgive me, son. You would've made a great emperor. But, this world is very cruel to good people like you. If I don't kill you, we would've to go to war with the sect. My royal duty is more important than my son's life. Only civilians suffer in the war, my child," The old man couldn't contain his expressions anymore. Tears started leaking out of his eyes as he has to kill his son to save his nation from war.

The young man could only sigh, seeing his father cry. "Forgive me for being a weak father. If there is a next life, I hope you are born to a brave father unlike me," The old man said, took out his sword from the sheath, and run it through his chest wound.

"I don't want to die. I still have so many things to do. If there is a god, please give me a chance," These were the last thoughts young man had before falling into oblivion.

The old man slumped down, seeing his son dying. He started wailing. "You did the right thing," Suddenly, a cloak-wearing man appeared out of nowhere and commented in a hoarse voice.

The old man glared at the skeleton with a killing hint. The man laughed seeing, the old man's glare.

"Get out of here. Don't think I am afraid of you," The old man yelled while holding his son's dead body. "Hehehehe," The skeleton disappeared, but his ominous laugh still echoed in the surroundings.

***

"Didn't I die?" The young man, who thought he had died, exclaimed as he suddenly found himself standing in the space in front of a rundown hut. He looked up and saw three enormous golden words shining above the cottage 'The First Store'.

Suddenly, the door of the cottage opened. A man came out of the door while a tiny white cat followed him. "Oh, a soul form," The cat commented, seeing him.

"Perfect looks," He suddenly had this thought in his heart when he looked at the stranger.

"Um, hello, where is this?" The young man timidly asked, looking down. He didn't dare to look at the man, as he mistakenly looked at the young man's eye when he came out of the door. He felt his soul was getting sucked. He didn't even dare to ask how a cat could speak due to fear.

"Wait, Let me see your life," The man ignored his question and commented expressionlessly. "So, your name was George before dying," The man then suddenly spoke to him.

He subconsciously nodded and then felt shocked by his body's acting on its own.

"Welcome, dear customer," The man then suddenly welcomed him. He then turned around and returned to the shop, the cat following him. George subconsciously followed the man into the shop. He wanted to stop walking, but his legs didn't listen and kept following the man as if there was something precious to him in the shop.

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GlaringError · Fantastique
4.4
577 Chs
Table des matières
Volume 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volume 1 :The First Store
Volume 2 :Conspiracy!
Volume 3 :The Last Quest!
Volume 4 :The Sacred Dimension!

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
GrInfo
GrInfoLv12

I’ve read more than 800 chapters, and so I have caught up. Good points: -There is a good number of interesting side characters who has a nice chapter or a few to them. (Author forgets some however. That girl Princess with the 1 eye, and is looking for revenge against against the organization. The guy who has a vendetta against an organization, and the Bisan kingdom/empire for selling his territory, leading to his tribes deaths. The prince of the Holy Empire. The moon elf politics, and the sunlight elf conflict between siblings. These are just some.) -The writing quality is good, and the updates is good. (Small errors with the numbers, and powers don’t make sense always.) -There are more good points. Bad points: -Lily is so annoying. I don’t read 80% of the writing involving her. -I’m fine with arrogant characters but the MC, and Lily is to arrogant or rather they are hypocrites. “The weak should act weak” is what Lily says several times but they keep acting stuck up in front of beings far above them, and are so rude but dislikes rude people. -The side characters, and the world is really like +90% of the reason I’m still reading. I skip half the training arcs, and Panagea because we don’t see anyone of them again other than knowing that they are going stronger. The characters in Panagea we never meet again the next arc. -I get that the MC doesn’t care to be a shop owner but why are you writing a novel that is mainly about him being a shop owner. He’s to shameless, and you wrote that the system also is against him blackmailing, and stealing but he scoffs at that. Have the MC become less shameless because it gets so difficult to read whenever that happens. -MC does not have moral issues, and believes he is better than everyone else... that’s fine but that doesn’t mean you have to write him to be so rude. He’s not scared of death... that’s fine but what about torture of Lily because of what he did? Is he scared now? -Writing that Lily is cute, and has a childlike voice does not mean she’s cute. -I don’t care if the MC is not a good person, I like villains (MC is not a villain) more but not when they are 3rd rate villains or so arrogant for no reason. I like smart, humble (arrogant but knows when to be humble or thankful) but still can be very cruel, and uncaring for the misery for others type of villain. Overall, Author, you don’t have to change the character personalities but decrease the training time writing. Hopefully you decrease Lily’s writing time also, and increase the writing for the customers.

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