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Pinnacles' Edge

Auteur: PeachyPearl
Urbain
Actuel · 98.3K Affichage
  • 10 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.4
    45 audimat
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    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

A 24-year old girl was pushed to a corner. She only had herself to rely on so she pushed back harder. Meet me, Xi Jingfei, in a world of violence and revenge... hate and love.... perplexed relationships.... From no one to rely to everyone relying upon me.... my story continues....

Chapter 1Annihilation

"No!!! Please don't do this!!! They're still alive, don't burn them. I beg you. They're innocent and unknown to anything that you want, so please stop hurting them!!" Loud shrieks of a girl echoed in the gloomy, obscure, chilly and eerie place where she was held by a group of convicts as she continued to cry her heart out.

The walls of that place were all covered with iron nets and a handful weapons with only one door to enter and exit and one skylight to avoid suffocation in that damp place. No particular things around that could help her understand where exactly was this warehouse looking space was located except for a pungent smell that seemed to be reaching from outside or the pipes above, on the ceilings of the room.

Helplessness, failure, terror, anxiety, hatred, and anger could clearly be felt in her voice as oceans of tears were gushing down her soft, smooth and slightly fluffy cheeks, as they reflected back the light being focused on her face which blurred her vision tremendously. She was eye-witnessing the death of her loved ones, her parents, siblings and close family, tied up in a chair, unable to move, while live streaming of such a cruel and inhuman incident was being shown to her on a laptop placed on a table in front of her.

There was boundless of emotions and hatred erupting from the bound girl's heart but all she could do was swallow it along with her ceaselessly coming tears. She was tortured earlier but the pain she was feeling at that very moment surpassed any other she ever felt.

Slits, slashes and scratches were over their bodies. As the felons continued to hit them, blood glided down their each and every wound originating a mere of blood all over the place. The floor and walls of the house turned red with all types of textures around. The unending sufferings of the night was making it appears darker than ever.

Screams, howls and groaning of those dying people was being imprinted on the girl's heart and soul. Her mind went completely blank, her body numb, and her heartbeat utterly fast.

"Aunt! No don't hurt her. Uncle! No, please stop." Without pause, she was screaming. But the pain too was ceaseless.

While she was all shattered physically, mentally and emotionally, those bastards were laughing out loud. Their leader creepily gazed at her with anger and anxiety and asked,

"So Ms Xi Jingfei, only being a bystander to witness the end of your Xi family, feels unfair doesn't it? So you better tell us what we want. Will you now voice out where exactly have you hidden that Hard Drive given by that bastard army officer. Maybe by doing so, you'll be able to save some of your surviving family members or you will only have yourself to blame to see them in such a ghastly condition."

Her father yelped in an utterly painful yet unreserved and determined voice,

"It no longer matters whether you give in to them or not, the Xi family is bound to doom today. So my beloved daughter, do your duty as the Administrative Chief of City U, pay respect to the nation as a citizen and do not utter a word to these bastards or else there will be endless 'Xi families' who will have to pay the price with their blood. My child, it's your time to show if you love your country K or not, if you respect my teachings or not. No matter what they are asking you to do, don't do it!! "

A heavy metal rod hit the man as he lied flat on the floor, blood drifted out behind of his head and spilt all over the place. Xi Jingfei screamed but to no avail.

Soon after followed the whole family in similar ways of dying. Her mother, brother, uncle, aunt, no one could survive. Cruelty won over yet again, but the silenced house was narrating a story. Only if the right person would come to listen, it would tell him how ruthlessly a blissful clan was annihilated.

"Why should I be the one paying the price? How it all had turned to this? What's the point of my life now?" Bulk of questions arose in her heart while all she felt was a faint pain in her heart. Tears blurred her vision. Everything went black as she fainted. Her heart had turned upside down, her soul all shattered and her brain stopped working. She had lost her everything.

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audimat

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  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
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CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsLv12

Chryiss
ChryissLv5

Writing: 5 It’s not perfect. There are some minor mistakes, bu they’re not glaring, so overall it’s passable. My biggest qualm would be the use of Name: for speeches. It should be formatted as Name said/shouted/cried/etc. with an comma quotation or vice versa. Or have gestures and expressions in between speech to let the reader know who’s speaking. It also heightens the reading experience. Updates: 5 Fine enough for me. Story: 4 It’s a different type of story, more like a crime drama, so kudos for doing something uncommon. However, while ambitious, it lacks execution. Rather than feeling suspenseful, it felt like everything was out into the open. Adding more mystery, such as not revealing MC’s true family background and discovering it in a more dramatic way, would greatly increase the lacking *******. MC also is a little too open and not cautious by immediately telling her connections with Zhao to Samuel. It doesn’t quite feel consistent with what I expected/was lead to expect of her character. Moving onto... Characters: 3 The MC is atypical still, so that’s a good point of differentiation from female leads. But, like mentioned earlier, it’s not quite there/the strong-smart FL isn’t fully accomplished/convincing. Additionally, the other characters lacked substance. It felt like some human, realistic puzzle piece was missing. With Samuel, we got his backstory, but somehow, it didn’t strike me in any sentimental way. It felt like a tell without an actual show. I think a lot of the story and character inconsistencies can benefit from deeper delving into their histories and emotions as well as their motivations and beliefs in life. MC’s killing felt anti-climatic, it came too soon. While she showed some real, human reaction to killing a person, it made me wonder why? Why is the way she wants to deal with all her suffering? Does she wish a quick end to only run from the authorities the rest of her life? How about bringing the whole issue to light? Making him suffer more? I couldn’t figure out her innermost pain and anger turned into believable action. Maybe we’ll see some of this later, but the killing still felt...too sudden. Lastly, she accepts her new identity pretty easily. From how she dealt with it and encountered people, it felt like this dual identity didn’t make much of a difference in the story, like it could easily be revised without it. World: 4 Details and descriptions of world and settings were sufficient for basic imagination of the surroundings and construction, but total comprehension and immersion wasn’t quite accomplished. Questions like the standing of families and their connections with the sovereign law and authorities as well as even the entertainment industry considering the amount of times MC sang. (I also didn’t see the connection of this subplot/talent of hers into the whole crime drama.) Overall: 4.2 A story with great ambition in its desire for something different and substantial but one that did not quite achieve all the expectations set for itself. It has the makings for a fabulous crime romance drama, but it drags and speeds up in places where it should do the opposite to create the underlying psychological and philosophical claims and power which spur the story forth in believability and thrill. Once all the pieces are strung together convincingly and cohesively, this is a winner.

yunisao
yunisaoLv13
Take_the_Moon
Take_the_MoonLv5

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