webnovel

Live Streaming: Starting as a Door-to-Door Salesman for Coffins!

Disclaimer: *This is Not an original story.* *I don't own this story and the book cover.* For those interested, this is the original name of this novel: 直播上门推销,请问要棺材吗 Kindly, Please Note that: 1) This is an Edited MTL. 2) I'm not a translator. I don't understand the Chinese language. I don't even know a single character of it. 3) I don't have any previous Editing experience. 4) However, I do have a decade worth of experience in reading translated chinese web-novels. 5) Leave a review, or comment if you like my work. Thanks! Synopsis: Han Haocheng activated the system, "Live life to it's fullest while you're still alive." As long as he completed tasks, he would get rewards. It seemed simple and easy. Alas... He couldn't have been any more wrong. He had to complete livestreaming tasks like: [Knock on any house's door and sell coffins seriously!] [Go to any company for a job interview and ask the interviewer, are you recruiting a chairman?] [Find the fiercest and strongest looking person in the Internet cafe, and turn off the power while he is playing a team battle in the game!] [Talk to a lady, beautiful as a fairy, on the street. Get her WeChat account and seriously sell her a coffin. After she agrees or refuses, Allow her to bargain for a lower price.] Han Haocheng: "..." Netizens after watching Han Haocheng's live broadcast: "Is this something a carbon-based organism really thought of???"

Roronoa_0007 · Urbain
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41 Chs

[How much smaller would you like it to be?]

'Take a guess?'

Su Qian subconsciously glanced downward.

She really hadn't expected that this handsome guy in front of her would actually make such an abnormal request.

He actually asked her to help him choose a suitable size.

'This... How can anyone determine the size like this? You're fully clothed, and I can't see...'

Thinking of this, Su Qian's face flushed red all the way to her ears.

She immediately shook her head, pursed her lips and said to herself inwardly:

'Su Qian, Su Qian, what crazy thoughts are you having!'

After forcing out the thoughts from her head that suddenly went astray, Su Qian was still blushing and didn't know what to do.

By this time, the spectators were already laughing to tears.

For a while, comments kept popping up:

"Awesome! Anchor, can one really guess that?"

"Hahaha... It's so funny, host, you really don't think of yourself as an outsider?"

"Streamer, you dare say you have social phobia? Bullcrap!"

"Social Phobia my foot! It's more likely that he has a Social Hooligan Syndrome!"

"This is the most daring anchor I have ever seen. Look at the sales girl, her face is as red as a tomato."

"It's not just the girl. Look at the people around them, they've all noticed what's going on here! Haha, this is hilarious!"

"Indeed, oh my god, the host is so thick skinned! If it were me, I would be searching for a mouse hole to crawl into."

"..."

It was indeed like the viewers said.

It's not just this pretty salesperson and Han Haocheng there.

Standing nearby was the senior saleswoman, as well as several other couples. 

After hearing Han Haocheng say, "Please help me estimate what size would be more suitable for me."

Everyone held their breath and they subconsciously looked at Han Haocheng's lower body.

Then, everybody couldn't help but release the breath they were holding.

In their currently widened eyes, there was immense shock.

This man...

He is really... so audacious!

Can it even be estimated with the naked eye?

This isn't the waist size, you know?

Even if it's your waist size, one would still have to touch it with their hands to be sure, right?

 

Han Haocheng could only pretend to not notice the way everyone looked at him strangely.

The reason behind Han Haocheng making this request was certainly not because he wanted to mess with the innocent beauty in front of him.

If he actually wanted to tease her, he wouldn't have made such a request. This was too provocative to regard as simply teasing.

Asking a lady to estimate the size of one's private part in the first meeting, and even letting her help choose a fitting condom, isn't this being a hooligan?

To be honest, Han Haocheng didn't want to leave a lascivious first impression on this beautiful girl.

But.. In order to complete system tasks..

Han Haocheng had no choice.

The system's task was crystal clear:

[Go to a popular supermarket nearby and find a saleswoman. Let her help you buy condoms. But, no matter how small the size she picks out, keep asking her if there are any smaller ones! ]

As a consequence, he had to let the pretty sales lady help him determine the size.

This is the only way to complete the mission.

Hence, Han Haocheng continued:

"How about it, is it not okay?"

"Are you unwilling to help me select the right size?"

"Is this how your supermarket serves customers?"

Upon hearing this, Su Qian immediately responded in a flustered manner:

"Oh no, no, no, that's not it, it's fine."

"It's just..."

After speaking a little, Su Qian blushed, bit her lip, and couldn't continue.

"Just what?" Han Haocheng asked.

"It's just..." Su Qian gulped nervously, lowered her head, cleared her throat and said with a lot of courage:

"Ahem.. It's just that I can't figure it out!"

Han Haocheng: "Can't guess what?"

Su Qian: "The size!"

She was completely unfamiliar with adult products.

After all, Su Qian is only a part-time employee at this supermarket. She didn't even know the section where these things were sold.

In fact, it was only moments ago that she discovered the location by asking the senior saleswoman.

Even for someone with ample knowledge and experience in this matter, attempting to estimate something like this would seem utterly implausible, right?

How in the world could she possibly determine this?

Let's not forget that Su Qian is truly a blank slate when it comes to knowledge about adult products.

"It's okay, it doesn't matter if you can't make an accurate guess."

"Just choose based on your feelings."

"Now then, select one quickly."

"Relax, I'm quite easygoing. As long as the size is close enough, I'll take it."

Han Haocheng reassured her.

"Alright then, I will just pick one out."

Su Qian could only rely on her imagination to find the largest size before handing it over.

Han Haocheng glanced at it and said directly:

"Is there a smaller one?"

Su Qian examined the one she had initially selected and subsequently opted for a slightly smaller one. To be precise, one size smaller than the previous one.

She was thinking that with this handsome guy's looks and height, this should be enough, right? There couldn't be a need for a smaller one, could there?

"Do you think this one is suitable for you?"

Su Qian blushed once more, trying to keep her thoughts from wandering any further. She barely managed to ask with a normal tone while showing the item.

"No, is there any smaller one?"

Han Haocheng scanned it briefly and refused straight away.

"How about this one? This belongs to the smaller size category, it should be close enough, right?"

Su Qian, being sensible, brought a smaller size over and introduced it again.

"Well, let me see..."

Han Haocheng took it and pretended to look at it for a moment, then said,

"No, do you have anything smaller?"

As soon as he asked for a smaller one, the corner of Su Qian's lips suddenly twitched, and she retorted in a dazed indistinct voice:

"You, how small are you..."

After blurting out these words, Su Qian immediately realized that she had misspoken.

'What's going on? How did I blurt out what I was thinking!'

She immediately covered her mouth with her hands and hastily explained:

"Oh no, that's not right, I'm sorry, I misspoke."

"How much smaller would you like it to be?"

As soon as the sales girl asked Han Haocheng, "How small do you really want it to be?"

The live broadcast room, which had already surged to 50,000 viewers, instantly exploded to life.

For a moment, bullet comments shot up like fireworks:

"Pfft... Hahaha.. I'm dying of laughter!"

"Ah ah ah... I'm dead! This girl is so cute."

"Did she accidentally let out her true thoughts? What great timing! I'm enjoying this more than a comedy skit, hahaha!"

"Girl: This guy is quite handsome, but he is just a little too small!"

"Such a pure minded beautiful girl, yet she was corrupted by the anchor!"

"I dare say that at this moment, this girl must be curious about how small the host really is!"

"Look at the title of the live broadcast room, there's no 'smallest,' only 'smaller,' hahaha!"

"Too damn funny, streamer, don't be embarrassed, just keep going!"

"..."

Seeing the pretty shop assistant looking at him with sympathetic eyes, Han Haocheng was starting to feel awkward as well.

The task bar isn't filled up yet, so despite his feelings, Han Haocheng had no choice but to continue:

"Please bring a smaller one."

"Sorry for the trouble."

Su Qian was a bundle of nerves as she searched for a smaller size, unsure of how to calmly respond to the unusual request.

"What about this one? It is the smallest one I can find on this shelf. This should be it, right?"

When saying this, Su Qian tried to keep her voice as low as possible.

Afterall, Su Qian had already noticed several couples who were discreetly observing them.

In order to protect the pride and privacy of this handsome customer, Su Qian spoke in a hushed tone.

The boy must feel quite inferior because he's small, right?

However, Just in the next second, Su Qian found that she might be thinking too much.

She saw this small sized customer respond calmly in a normal voice:

"No!"

"For me, this one is still too big."

"Is there any smaller one?"

As soon as these words came out, everyone was shocked.

The smallest one on the entire shelf is still too big?

'So, exactly how small are you?'

Everyone's scalps tingled with shock, and many of them subconsciously conjured various images in their minds.