Eight

The same smell again, the same sound of a machine again. As I open my eyes and here the beeping sound of machine, I already that I am here again. The place I hated the most. Days of being alive is finally over. I will be stuck on the same horrible nightmare again. I looked around to find familiar faces, they my eyes found him. The subject I love to stare at.

“L-Louis” I tried my voice not to cracked but I failed. My voice sounds weak as well as my entire body.

“Fayies” he held my hand as he reach me.

“L-Louis” I tried reaching his face but no work my hands are too weak to do that.

“hey, don’t move you just woke up,just take a rest”

“mom?”

“she’s with your dad they get some clothes and some stuffs for you I already call them and said that you’re already awaken. I think they on their way here” I smiled. How many days I’ve slept again that my body became like this?

“Fayies, I know your still weak and what I’m gonna say will just upset you but I really want to ask this to you”

“it’s ok what it is?”

“why you didn’t tell me?” so he knew? What did I expect.

“Fayies, are you afraid that I will see you differently?” I can see sadness and disappointment to his voice

“I look stupid in front of your parents not knowing anything. Fayies don’t you trust me? Don’t you believe me when I said that I love you?”

“no, it’s not like that”

“then why?!” His sudden raised of voice shocked me.

“there is a lot of chances for you to tell me, but what did you do? You choose not to say it, you make me a fool believing that you’re ok. But, I know it’s not just you whose at fault. Because even me, I knew there’s something. I knew it on the way you complaint about your headaches. But, I’m a fool and scardy cat to accept what will I discover so I choose to ignore it. I choose to because I’m afraid I might lose you” tears continues droping to his eyes, I can pain on it. I don’t know that he already have an idea. I don’t know that this what he truly felt.

“Oh, no I’m sorry” he just continue crying, proving how hurt he was.

“I’m sorry Louis, I don’t know that you’re silently hurting. The reason why I didn’t tell you about the truth is I’m afraid too. I don’t want to leave you Louis believe me, I already fell for you too, deeply.” Our sobs covered the entire room. We became silent for an hour, just appreciating our each other presence when Dad and Mom came. They are not alone, my Doctor is with them.I know my case is serious and the treatment will be useless because I’m already on my final stage. I know from the very beginning that I will do soon, but now that I have Louis in me I don’t know anymore. I just wanted more time with him. I wish I can still every tomorrow with him.

The doctor said that I should stay on the hospital, but I refused. What will do there? What’s the point of staying there if there is nothing they can do? I might not waste my remaining time living. I should complete every task I made on my list .So, even though my parents are against it I still pursue it. I want to spend my remaining time with the peole I treasured.

“Mom, pls this will be my last request to you,could you not grant it?”I tries to look cheerful,but my mom is still emotional. I ask her if I can go to beach but she refused . She said it will be too risky for me to travel. But, I really want to go, I want to see the sun rise ‘and sunset and beach will be the perfect spot for that.

“No, Fayies. We already grant your wish not to stay on the hospital so pls, give this to us. We can’t lose you. I cant”

“SO, how was your feeling?” Louis is persistent on asking those questions repeatedly. I already tell him that I’m fine but he keep asking again and again.

“you know what? Can you just record that question of yours so that I can just play it?You’re keep asking for half an hour already are you not tired? Because I am”

“what? Why you didn’t tell me?”come on I’m gonna take you ihome”

“wait, no,let go of my hands. Don’t you know the word ‘sarcastic’?”

“I’m sorry I’m just.Concerned”

“Louis?can you do me a favor?”

“of course what is it? Anything for you”

“can we pretend that I’m ok?tha’t I’m will long? That I don’t have any lifeline?”

“Fayies”

“Can you do that for me?” I thought he will decline my favor but..

“sure, for you my lady. We will be together forever”

“yes, forever we will be together”