Having a baby

   Aziel gazed at me sceptically för a while longer. Out of a sudden, he dragged me into a tight hug. I hug him back tightly, all my worries are washed away in seconds. Only his masculine scent fills the air. I do not want this to ever end. In the last five years, only my therapist made me feel safe now my husband is. My husband, I Love it.

     " I am always here " he repeated kissing my hair. I stopped hugging him and stare up at his black shiny eyes lost in them.

     Looking at that kind of smile on his face, I suddenly felt like he has changed. Nonetheless, I must put my guard on. The last thing I want is to get hurt. I would not be able to handle that kind of disappointment and so much pain. 

      I will die literally. My thoughts drift to the pain and desperation I saw on my mom's face five years ago. The moment I thought I will die.

     My heart ached as if clutched by unseen hands. That day I saw my father's tears for the first time, my mother knelt in front of me begging me to save my dad.

    " How can I save him? Mom, I am no doctor. " I barely muttered in frustration. I sniffed and added " Mom please don't beg me, only say a word and I would do it without any questions. Why is Aziel here? "

    My mom sniffed and cried more " You can save your father by .. marrying Aziel. He wants to send your father to jail. Look at his condition, he would not make it in jail "

     I was so confused nothing made sense. My father and Jail, marry Aziel. Huh?

     I could no longer hold my tears or be brave for my parents. I burst into tears crying my eyes out. I felt so much pain, I wanted to close my eyes and die slowly rather than watch my parents in such a state.

    " Why would Aziel want to send På to jail, " I asked in between sniffs.

   My mother took my hands in hers " Your father is a good man. He is human, as humans, we err and make mistakes and need to be forgiven .."

   " Please stop talking to me like a child, cut to the chase. Why does Aziel want to send Papa to jail " my knees were on the floor, while mascara completely runs off my face.

   She sniffed and said " Aziel found out your father killed his parents. Dear, your father did not want to kill them "

    At that moment my whole came to a standstill, though they were Aziel parents. They were my godparents and my father killed them unknowingly. I could take it all in, I started to breathe with my mouth. My anxiety took over, I felt like was going to die, I just could not breathe. In a second I was on the floor struggling to breathe clutching my mother's gown tightly tossing left and right as cold sweats left my body. Those words echoed in my head like a broken record

  My mother knelt closer to me weeping silently " He said if you marry him, your father would not go to jail. Please, you guys have forever loved each other don't make this difficult for us . Look at your father " she pointed out to my father, who was trembling on the wheelchair and was about to fall. Trying to save him was impossible, my heart was pumping out of my chest 

   I could not move, I felt my world crashing on me. I just wanted to close my eyes and die peacefully, I could not breathe, bananas! I am going to die. I closed my eyes tightly picturing my father to keep myself calm. On one hand, was Andrew what will I tell him. Then and there my body gave up and I faded.