Parenthood

      My endless train stopped by Aziel. He was pushing my father in a wheelchair towards me alongside my mother. My mother, Jessica Smith is a tall redhead woman. She has a full chest and intriguing hips. Kaelie looks exactly like my mother. My mother's green eyes show a glint of happiness. She smiled at me.

     " Aziel has talked to us about the new change in your relationship. We can not wait to be grandparents " my mother said excitedly hugging and nodding at me.

    My gaze falls on my shaky father who moves his fingers like he was touched by what my mother said.

    " I love your daughter and want to apologize for any hurt I caused you over the years. Forgive me " Aziel says apologetically without taking his gaze off me.

      Am I dreaming, I stood smiling. I can no longer hear what he says. I can only see my mother's endless smiles and Aziel impenetrable gaze. I feel so loved. This makes me forget all my worries. If he could take on my worries by smiling at me, what would happen if we hug.

         " Pearl, Pearl " I hear his sweet voice as he snaps his fingers in my face. To bring me back to reality.

      He takes my hand in his " Thank you mom and dad . I will take my bride home now " he throws a glance at my lips.

    I nod and smile at him. My cheeks blushed shamefully. 

    My mother and I share a long hug and I took my dad's blessings. After an hour, we all had dinner.

     I was smiling ear to ear, his words lingered in my head repeatedly ' I will take my BRIDE home '. I am his bride. ' I LOVE your daughter '. He loves me, he loves me.

   Then again a voice echoes in my head ' What about what you heard and saw. What if he is having an affair with your sister under your nose '

   My heart fell into my stomach and is eaten by my gases to bits. What if they are having an affair. 

      " Where were you? " I asked as he drives. My gaze is constantly on the passing trees. I count them trying not to cry.

    After a long silence, he said " I stayed back at the parking lot with KC " he chuckled lightly after he said KC.

   " You love her don't you "

   " KC ?, I generally love children "

   " Ok," I thought hard before blurting " Why don't we have kids? We could try "

   The car stops immediately, Fuck if  not for the case I strapped in my seatbelt I would have bumped my head.

   He beamed broadly. I don't know if that is a yes or no probably a maybe. In truth I only want children because of him, I want his children. It will make me feel complete as a woman and as a wife. Despite all my positivity and indifference towards this issue, I am still a human being and I get hurt. 

  At least I would not be called barren again. His hands clutches mine " We are here " 

    " At the hospital, why? " 

   Hold on, does he want to carry out artificial insemination. We could do it the natural way. It's cheaper and kinda fun. I stare at him confusedly.

   He pulls me out of the car " Don't think too much. We are here to get checked before being parents. " I can see the excitement in his eyes.  

  For some reason, I feel hesitant now. The what-ifs fall in.

 *What if our blood groups don't match?

    * What if I am truly barren?

* What if due to my late timing I find it difficult to conceive.

 I feel my stomach churning, I should turn back now. I throw up a little in my mouth . I need water , i am dehydrated . I turn to walk down to the car .

  " Are you overthinking again? " Aziel asks tentatively as he holds me back and forces me to look at him , eyeball to eyeball.

I blink and I whisper " I only need a hug " I'm sure i look very pathetic at the moment. My eyes are watering from all the unshed tears. 

     Oh no , i am so childish and needy .

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