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Hollywood: Head-Hunting System

Auteur: TheRamenLord
Films
Actuel · 2.6M Affichage
  • 141 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.3
    66 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

Hollywood is a place that has changed the fates of a lot of people, but Hollywood's fate changed when a soul from our world was reborn in there's. A soul whose life had been cut short, whose dream's remained unfulfilled, he who begrudgingly accepted his second chance at life. He vowed to make a difference this time around, for he was going to conquer Hollywood and to save it from itself; and fulfill his dreams in the process. DISCLAIMER - Contains adult/mature/R-18 content. THIS IS MY FIRST WORK SO THE STARTING OF THE NOVEL ISN'T THAT GOOD WITH MANY MISTAKES BUT I DO IMPROVE ON IT. SO STICK AROUND WITH TILL THE END IF YOU CAN. THANKS FOR READING. ALSO THERE'S NO NTR, NO YURI, BUT DEFINITELY A HAREM IN THIS STORY. __________________________________ Genre: Urban Fantasy, R-18, Slow Paced, Slice of life, System, Reincarnated in Past, Romance, Harem, Smut, Showbiz, Celebrities, Movies, Marvel, DC, E-Sports, Middle class to Ultra-Rich. __________________________________ Upload schedule: 1/2 chapter every 2 days. Word count of the chapter - 5.5k to 7.5k words. So the word count for half of the chapter ranges between 2.75k words to 3.75k words. __________________________________ {Author's note 1: A promise from to all the readers of this work. I might take small breaks in between but I will never stop writing this book until it's finished. Great thing is I already know how I want to end this book just the journey to getting there is filled with some uncertainty.} {Author's note 2: This is my first official novel/work, before this I have only written some short fanfics from alt accounts. Also English is my third language, I obviously will be making mistakes and typos. Please correct me in comment section if possible. And leave a review if you liked/disliked my work. Thanks for giving my novel a try, and have a beautiful day.}

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Addyctive7 · Films
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Table des matières
Volume 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volume 1

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
Maadz
MaadzLv3

Hey, honestly really like this story so far, and I'm eagerly looking forward to reading more. I have a few suggestions regarding your writing to help it flow better. First I'd like to see more consistent use of tenses. If you use one tense in a longer segment, stick to it throughout that segment. Example: 'My initial capital of around 10 million grew to a little over 25 by the time I was ready to graduate' 'My initial capital of 10 million had grown to over 25 million by the time I was graduating' Second suggestion: You're kind of inconsistent with filler-words. Sometimes you use them when they're not needed (like 'then'), and sometimes they're missing. And one additional thing here that would make a big difference is to find places where you can shorten a 15 word sentence to 10-12 words instead. And I have a good example for this one: '...bedroom apartment where he was living on rent' could've been '...bedroom apartment he'd been renting.' I'd also recommend getting Grammarly as a plugin when writing, I use it and it helps a lot when writing. There are more things, but the two points I've already mentioned should be a good starting point if you want to improve your writing technically. On the content though, I'd really like to get a better read on the characters thoughts and feelings. Why he's making the decisions he's making, how he's writing things. Which emotions he's trying to convey with his works. Huh, not sure how well written this review came out, you asked for feedback, and I found this when I was on my phone, so it's what I'd found you could try to work on after just reading these two first chapters. But once again as I said in the beginning, I'm looking forward to where this journey is headed :)

literl010
literl010Lv1

Let me preface this by saying I originally really enjoyed the novel, even becoming an early Patron, however I've been disappointed with the recent chapters. The initial 85 chapters were a solid 5/5 for me, but the last 25 have dropped to a 2/5. The narrative has become cluttered with feature creep, straying from "show, don't tell" to just "tell". --- Pacing was slow, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, however recently there's been a loss of focus on "Hollywood", becoming bogged down with so many tangents with the retelling of comics, manga, recipes, and the slightly cringey events like charity events and concerts where the protagonist's perfection has become overly exaggerated with his Gary-Stu-ness kicked up into overdrive. Although slightly disappointing, this wasn't too big of a deal, because I was hoping to see that same level of detail when it finally came to the second movie arc, which I was eager to see. --- However this is where the pacing abruptly sped up. Unlike the first movie arc, this time all the vital intricate details were skipped like casting, scouting locations, production, etc. Large time skips were employed, using recaps instead of showing the events. When the movie is ultimately described, it's a mess with unclear descriptions, confusing plots, characters/actors who abruptly appear without any word about them previously. I'm sorry to say it's quite disappointing that a novel about Hollywood movies has evolved into something where the actual movies are seemingly an after thought. --- Maybe it's just me, but I'd far prefer more interactions between the protagonist and the other characters. More detail about the movies and their development - casting, planning, filming, etc. More interactions with the women in his life (the Japanese LI has been completely side-lined). More challenges. Reducing the emphasis on needless events, concerts, retelling of manga/comics, and fewer diversions would help recapture the essence of what I originally enjoyed and got me invested initially - Hollywood and the harem.

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