now

10.6.2021

hmm....."i miss him "

"who do you miss" said one of my friends .

"the boy of my untold feelings, i hope he's doing ok, wish i could meet him" said i .... "Are you ok?" said my friend sarah . "do i look ok?do i sound fine ?" said i silently .. "well you should know you already have a boyfriend, what do you think he will feel if he knows that you are thinking about someone else ? don't make him upset girl please " said sarah .

"hmm....."

was all i could say ,while enjoying the warm feeling of summer and thinking about my middle school time and wishing i could go back and alter things up .

"what's wrong with you girl?are you going to be like this forever ? whats wrong ???"

i could reply ,all i did was look palely at the celing of the small room we were in and wait .

the hot weather kind of gave me a dried throat as i constantly kept gulping water . feeling and looking uneasy . sarah came to me again saying

" why are you so worried just because of some guy you liked long ago? are you regrettting for loving your boyfrined and not him ?whats with all this ?"

all she could ask was that . and think of wht had happened to me . why did i change after so many years and try to guess who is this boy ive being talking about.

yes ive never told anyone about my crush eventhough they know the boy i liked , i dpnt know what made me do that ,probably it was some kind of pride i had in me that i didnt want to express it .(thats actually because at that time i was always every guys crush ) but probably because i didnt know his crush i think, i might have not told it to him .

"why do i feel kind of a regret ? should i have told him my feelingd and not hidden it? have i being cheating /lying to him so long and since he noticed it that he got fed up of me and left me ? "

i kept talking about this and my friends gave up on trying to figure out what really has happened to me .As i haven't said a word to them but just kept spouting things they don't know and made them feel i have gone crazy .

(well my friends dont leave me alone . even if i have really gone crazy )

so like always they were there with me . even listening to all these they tried to figure out this "mysterious he" . so rhey could get in touch with him or do soemthing to help me...

i actually kept thinking about him .that i even forgot the food that was on the table ( and this is a huge problem since i love fpod and i never go anywhere without noticing the food lying on the table pr anywhere possible but this time i didnt ) so my friends noticed that i wasnt lying and that i was so serious that i didnt even think of having a bite from the macroons( my favorites ) that were served on the table .

"first love has really hit her this time !" said clare (the other friend of mine ) , " i feel sad for her , i mean but what has happened , i thought julien (my boyfriend ) is her first love , who is this guy that took her jeart before julien?" said sarah in a amazed and rather worried way . " why does she hesitate to tell who the perspn is ? if she did we could find a way to help her right? " said Lisa( my other friend)

their conversationd were only about me and i could simply notice it from the worry that came from their eyes as if something really dangerous has happened . But i know its nothing dangerous but just a lonely and a guilty feeling that had come just because of the missing feeling in the heart and noticing it was all the space you has for your first love .

do you think that its soemthing really big ?or just nothing special just feeling sad for an ex crush ?