Entry 30 - Slowly losing you (Kara)

One month ago, we were told about how Kyrell was visited by our cousin Goyoku when we were practising with Hololive. Apparently, that little sneak found a way to buy off the inn from Kyrell. My guess is that he pulled on some uncouth strings to be able to get the inn sold, he always does when it comes to my twin. It does not help that Kyrell's employees are from other worlds which meant that technically they didn't have the proper paperwork to be working in our world.

With so much on his shoulders, Kyrell's holed himself up in his room, going through what I can imagine being a rather stressful ordeal. It didn't help that Kai was fuming constantly at Goyoku, annoying everyone.

Due to being unable to communicate with my brother for a while, I mostly spent my time with his two companions, Coco-chan and Aloe-chan. It's a pleasant surprise to see two people treat him so nicely, for a long time Kyrell went with no friends due to being more caught up with his desire to be accepted by our family. So to see two people, no not even two, but many people care for him, is a joyous occasion.

Still, it's a bit hard to look at my brother sometimes, his eyes are bagged, on the verge of shutting completely but Kyrell keeps on forcing them open. He drags his feet behind him, his clothes are wrinkled and his hair is a mess! I've seen my brother work himself to the bone, a few too many times, but never to the extent as he's been doing this month.

It reminds me of the time when we were still in high school, back then he was so focused on trying to be perfect for the sake of the family name, that he poured everything into studying, never giving time for relaxing or even us, his family. It didn't help that he then moved away to a public school because he couldn't keep up with exams due to fatigue, which only lessened the view on him.

It was depressing for everyone. For me, I lost my best friend, my other half who I always smiled and laughed with. For everyone else, they lost someone incredible.

Truthfully, the days when Kyrell and I would play together with large smiles on our faces as clear as day, I cherished those memories, they were all I had of Kyrell for a long time.

Because of how few memories I have of my happiness with Kyrell, I often fear that one day I won't ever be able to see my brother again. A fear that might soon become a reality actually, because if Goyoku actually manages to gain the inn, Kyrell will have nowhere to go. Our family home isn't safe, and even if he gets a job elsewhere I doubt he will be left alone.

I wish I can help him, I wish can say so many things to Kyrell to ease his pain but I know such things would never reach his heart. I'm not the person that can save Kyrell from the hell he's been born in. Not even Kana or Kai can, and the reason is quite simple really.

We can't relate.

Kai can go on how we can try to understand, but the truth is none of us has to carry his burden, so there is no way for us to truly capture the pain and loneliness he feels. We've been accepted into the family, he has not; we can smile and laugh with everyone, he cannot; we can live our lives without any hesitation or pain, he's only been living a life of suffering. How can we ever grasp that with our hearts?

We can't, which is why the only thing I can do right now is watch what happens to him. I trust Kyrell… I trust him.